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Come meander with me on the pathless path of the Heart
in these anecdotal,
sometimes inspiring, sometimes personal meanderings of the Heart's opening in the every-day-ness of Life...

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Serenity's Sanctuary - Rest

Rest, just rest ~
deep rest
in the Rhythm ~
the internal, intuitive
fluid movement of Life

~ rest there ~

sense its fluidity
taste its scent
smell its color
feel its music
touch its texture
hear its whisper
see its sound

move with its Flow
its natural cycles

~ rest sweet rest ~


Sweet Serenity


Christine Kennedy
January 31, 2010
Fun-Qi Art™ - :) Christine



Saturday, January 30, 2010

The Turning of the Wheel...

My restless simmering continues. The pot of stew is on the back burner, steadily simmering its little bubbles, like a subtle background noise that you can’t quite identify. An aroma of unsettledness permeates the house. Despite this, I was determined to take the Christmas tree down today - finally. For some reason I wanted to leave it up this month – not for sentimental reasons, but mostly for the warm glow of light that it emitted in the living room in the evenings. There was something inviting about its presence lighting up the bay window that I just didn’t want to disturb. Earlier this week, however, both my husband and I said: It’s time to take the tree down. There was that internal ‘Yes’ again. It was time. The movement was there. Maybe that’s what I was waiting for. I kind of like living my life according to this internal ‘Yes’ – living according to an internal movement, which is not always possible in these times and circumstances with its demands and over stimulations. At one point on my “path” I was drawn to Native American Spirituality and paying attention to cycles and rhythms – not only of the seasons but my own. This is also true in the Celtic traditions – living by the cycles of the sun and moon, with the inner and outer cycles; a kind of indigenous way of living and moving through life – a connection with earthy rhythms. The excursion to the spice shop yesterday, and its smells, got me back in touch with that sense of earthiness and timing and rhythms and cycles. And I will have to say that it feels good. There’s a different kind of internal channel that I’m tuning into here…

I put on a Deva Premal CD and listened to her melodious chants as I took each ornament off its artificial branch, dusted it off, and placed it back in its resting box waiting for another year. Suddenly and unexplainably I began to feel a strange sense of “endings” rolling through me – triggered no doubt by the dismantling of the tree. It felt very visceral and very strange. What bubbled up from the bottom of the pot of stew was a sense of death, and a very deep feeling of sadness and grief. The intensity of the wave that moved through took me by surprise. It left a thick mist of heaviness around me that lasted all afternoon – like the odor of a pungent spice that sticks. Not to sound morbid here folks, just sharing my experience. When my husband returned from his afternoon networking meeting, I told him what happened. He had experienced a similar feeling as well on the way to the meeting – a deep sense of sadness and grief… Oo-do-do-do, Oo-do-do-do… Is there something in the air? Maybe it was in that packet of spices I brought home…

The sense that keeps coming to me is that of endings, change and transition. The Celtic traditions use the phrase “turning of the wheel” when one season transitions into another, like now with the coming of Imbolg – translated: “in the belly of the mother” – waiting for birth, for expression – for the turning of Winter into Spring. In dismantling the tree I unexpectedly connected with something deeper within beyond my thought processes, something I can’t explain – something “indigenous” to life Itself – the felt sense of change, endings – and uncertainty. Unfortunately this only fueled the flames under my pot of restlessness.

So now what? I don’t know exactly… And maybe the “now what” doesn’t matter. Maybe it’s just about being available to the movement, tuning into the turning of the Wheel. It feels like the same sense of waiting for the ‘Yes’ that I’ve been experiencing lately – waiting for an internal movement. It’s a sense of moving *with* something larger than my-self, allowing *that* to move me. Sitting on the back burner - patiently waiting for the movement and expression of Life…



Friday, January 29, 2010

The Spice of Life...

Yesterday I got a comment from a blogger friend on The Stew of Life post that reminded me that one of the things I *love* is the smell of savory spices, which then led me down the path to where I usually go to experience those wonderful scents. In the Summer I can go out to my herb garden, swish around in the thyme, tarragon, lavender, basil, rosemary, and marjoram and smell those delightful aromas. And sometimes I bring the herbs in and dry them as aromatic reminders. But – I *also* have a favorite spice shop where I like to go and just inhale. Usually at Christmas time it is particularly pungent. It’s been two Christmases since I’ve been there. My mind wafted to the memory and I thought – YES! That’s where I need to go to experience the “spice of life” – to soothe the simmering stew – to make life a little more palatable. Sometimes I find serenity in the simplest of pleasures – aromatic spices is one of them.

So today, after cleaning the kitchen, I headed off to the spice shop near the Lo-Do area of Denver, tucked away on a side street. This particular spice shop is in an old building, with creaking wooden floors, and shelves and shelves of jarred spices and herbs – as I imagine an old Herbalist’s shop might be – a place for creating alchemy. There is also a glassed-in “spice room” where they grind the spices into powders. The shop has lots of ambience and atmosphere. It seems reminiscent of what I imagine the “old world” to look and feel like. When I have been there before, the spice shop, not the “old world”, the experience of the spices with their unique aromas has always soothed me. But today there was no person behind the glass grinding herbs, and no pungent odor of spices wafting through the air. A slight scent of disappointment arose within me…

In the back of the shop they have wooden bins where they sell small packets of several kinds of the crushed herbs - cheap. So I headed to the back and started sniffing, bin by bin – the financially challenged person’s cheap thrill… The aromas were delicious. My absolute favorite aromatic spice is Marjoram. The dried little pod-like buds - right after they’ve been crushed - create a very distinctive odor: clear, clean, crisp. If serenity had a scent this would be it – in my imagination. I found the Marjoram bin and sniffed and sniffed at the little package. But it didn’t give off that familiar fragrance. So I kept going from bin to bin. I finally found one that said: “Herbes de Provence.” Oo-la-la! Ahhh – a touch of “old world” - France maybe. The packet ingredients were a combination of several herbs & spices: French Thyme, Savory, Fennel, Rosemary, Marjoram (there it was!), Basil, Lavender and Tarragon… I knew I had to take this one home – open it up – crush it some more to release the savory scent, place small amounts in little open bowls, and set the bowls in my kitchen cabinets. Each time I open a cabinet door my imagination takes flight as I inhale the fresh aroma of “Herbes de Provence” – and pretend I’m in a country kitchen. I take a deep breath and feel - serenity…. My little reprieve from the simmering stew of life…

Imagination – the spice of life…



Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Stew of Life

I am really learning how life is like a pot of stew these days. Some days you get the sweet meat and other days you get the turnips, depending on what bubbles up to the surface. It seems that “contentment” rolled her way back to the bottom of the pot and a variety of other morsels have rolled their way to the surface… It seems the “dark” and “light” are all in this stew together – floating around together – taking their turns, offering their savory tidbits.

Yesterday I was in a stew about many things and instead of just walking away from the hot stove I fell face first into the stew – splat. When I finally managed to pull myself out of the pot I had a lot of sticky gravy all over me and had to wipe it off with a rag of humility – and step away from the stove.

Such is life…

I keep dipping that big ladle in trying to find “contentment” again, hoping she’ll find her way to the top of the pot and grace me with her sweet aroma. So far no sightings in this deep, dark stew. I’m sure she’s still in there somewhere, but it seems in trying to dig for her she eludes me – jumping off the ladle just as I think I’ve caught a glimpse of her again.

So I’m skimming off the top… Not necessarily liking what has been dished up, but willing to sit and look at it a bit. Although yesterday I turned my nose up at it and was rather like a spoiled child who didn’t want to eat her Life Stew and stormed off wanting only the dessert – the sweet “goodies” of life… But that didn’t work. I still didn’t get what I wanted. And the pot of Life Stew continues to bubble up today – still simmering.

Last night as I lay in bed still awake at 1:15am it *finally* dawned on me to ask: What needs to be seen here? Ah – that diverted the mind off the “I don’t want to eat my stew” routine. *Something* is obviously being offered up here in this unsettled stew of life that keeps boiling and roiling with its potatoes, carrots, peas, onions, celery and yes – yukky turnips. And it appears I don’t get to pick what I want. Heh, heh, heh – Like I didn’t know that one already… I mean I didn’t fall off the turnip truck ya’ know… (sorry :) The sweet taste of contentment is not being offered on the menu this week so far, so it looks like I’ll need to chew on that piece of turnip for a while and see what nourishment it has to offer. Maybe I’ll add a spice or two to make it more palatable.

Am off to tend to the pot of life again and see what comes up – wish me luck!

I wonder where I left my cookie stash – just in case…

You notice there aren’t any turnips in the picture :)


Sunday, January 24, 2010

Unwinding the Wound

The “original wound” of humanity is a
*perceived separation* from the Essence of all Life,
from Source, from God-Consciousness.

Healing this universal wound is a
healing of the consciousness of separation –
the “split” in consciousness of the Heart
that became the shadow.

This wound of separation is just a consciousness
spawned from the *belief* in separation.
A *belief* in separation creates a consciousness
of fear and darkness – a shadow.

It is only a *belief.*
It is not real.

You are caught in the net of separation,
*thinking* it is real.
Emerge through this layer of darkness
by *recognizing* the Consciousness of Presence –
the Beingness that you are…

See life through the eyes of this Presence.
Find your internal “Home” in the sense of this Beingness.
Recognize the Presence of Being within you
~ the place of un-wounding ~
unwinding the wound
in the Flow of communion with the Infinite…



Notes from my journal – 2004

Photo – Bill Kennedy
The picture is patterns created
by a “visualizer” while music was playing.




Saturday, January 23, 2010

Wounded Puppies & Unexpected Grace

This blog has been percolating up all week – waiting for me to just sit and write it.

Tuesday I picked up a copy of the latest Shambhala Sun. I put it near the pile of books on the coffee table waiting to be read. Later, while lunch was cooking, I took advantage of the few minutes of Stillness and started leafing through it to see what was there. There was something comforting about just sitting and turning the pages, reveling in this silent moment. Not really reading anything. Just the act of repetitively turning the pages, sitting in the silence of the living room, was like a meditation. In that moment I once again became aware of a deep inner Stillness that had made its appearance the day before. At the turning of the next page there was a picture of a sad looking puppy in an ad for a Tibetan organization that helps take care of abandoned animals. I was drawn in by its sad eyes and furry coat. I paused for a moment, looked out the window – thought about our cat who died in August, thought about how it would be nice to have another warm, cuddly animal – and then kept flipping the pages until lunch finished cooking. The day went on and I was captured by the busyness of “the business.”

We have been in a pretty dark place here lately with the weight of life circumstances. Things have been tense and stressful, experiencing a lot of frustration and anger. We have often been like a couple of old barking dogs, yapping at each other, rather than playful puppies full of life and enthusiasm. And yet, in the last several days I have felt this strange sense of “contentment” – a strange sense of openness, acceptance, and a deeper Flow with inner Stillness that is absolutely unexplainable. I did not seek it out. “IT” just showed up. Later that afternoon, as I continued working with my husband, it occurred to me that he seemed like that puppy in the magazine – sad, wistful eyes, and scruffy fur – a kind of defeated look. Not unlike a lot of other people these days – including myself. It occurred to me that in many respects we humans are like wounded puppies, in one way or another – traumatized either physically, mentally, emotionally, or otherwise displaced – just trying to survive. Doing what we can to make life work. And sometimes in that woundedness we come out fighting like pit bulls. But behind the façade of the anger, the fear, the violence, even the sadness, there is a wounded puppy inside that just wants to be hugged, to be treated with kindness and respect – to be fed, and sheltered from the storms of life. In the seeing of this my heart softened – not only towards my husband, but towards all who are experiencing difficult life circumstances.

And what about this sense of “contentment” that showed up unexpectedly and uninvited - *before* this realization? The more of this open space that I felt internally this week, the more I was drawn into it with curiosity. What *is* this that seems to underlie all this other “shtuff” that I’m *also* experiencing – that we are all experiencing. When I brought my awareness to it, it felt like a spacious sense of grace, a spacious contentment in the *midst* of chaos; not because I had somehow gotten rid of my feelings of anger and frustration or anxiety, or because I had analyzed anything away. It was just there, waiting for me to notice. It was there underneath the moments of anger and frustration, like a constant, unexplainable Presence. All that was needed, it seemed, was to just be aware of IT, to *feel* it, to experience it – not work on eliminating anything *before* I could experience it, because I was – after all – experiencing IT! It was as if Grace flowed beneath it all - like a current of contentment ~~~ an unexplainable serenity that was available in every moment of experience.

I know it sounds so simplistic to say “just open to the Flow” that underlies it all. And I don’t mean to sound Polly-annish. But it appears to be true – at least from my experience this week. There *is* something unexplainable beneath our experience. This does not mean I haven’t felt the mind kick back in, creating anger and frustration and discontent about my life circumstances, but I can *also* feel this Flow, this Presence, and I realize again and again – Grace is there beneath my life experience. She is inviting me in – embracing this wounded puppy – offering me shelter from the torrents of storms. I can feel the tail begin to wag again. Excuse me while I take her up on the invitation and follow her Home…


Photo - Barnie the dog...

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

A Quiet Evening...

I am about to revel in some quiet time this evening. I don’t seem to get enough of it lately, so I revel whenever I can. My husband is out on a videography gig tonight. We’ve had a hectic 3 days working on business related issues trying to drum up more business. When he left this evening there was a palpable sense of Silence that filled the house and beckoned me to just stop. I could feel myself take a long, deep breath, becoming more aware of the inner Flow of Stillness.

These books have been on my coffee table since before Christmas – waiting. And yes, I still have my Christmas tree up! You can see the little lights reflected in the window. I had planned to use some quiet time over the Holiday to begin my way through the pile. With the exception of one that I added since then, they are all books that I started reading before and never finished, or read and want to re-read. I had hoped that during some “monastery time” while “Elf” was away for four days over Christmas :) that I would maybe get them read. But I only got to close the monastery doors for one day, shuffle to the couch for some needed rest, and – no not read, or meditate, or listen to anything – just rest in the Silence. So here they are – waiting. Tonight I will delve into the pile and see what awaits – or - maybe I’ll just immerse myself in this wonderful felt sense of pure Silence that surrounds me now, and just flow in the tides of Being.

Before I came to write this blog I pulled out The Truth Is by Papaji from the pile to take a peek and see what I had underlined from my attempt to read this tome before… It sang to my heart…. So I will leave you with this bit of inspiration and retreat to the Silence – that is after I do the dinner dishes, and finish the laundry, and… Some things just never change… :)
The purpose of all practice is Silence – your real nature....
Without Silence you cannot be in peace…
Even while active remain in Silence as Silence…
Be conscious of Silence always…
It is this Silence that silently answers all questions…
This is Home – the holy company of the Self…
…return Home…
Papaji – The Truth Is



Sunday, January 17, 2010

Serenity's Sanctuary - The Flow of Being


Allow the Flow of Being Itself to move through you – to move you,
and do what comes naturally from this Flow within.
~
Allow yourself to be carried by the tides of Being.
Relax into the ripples of Divine Flow and let go…
~
Immerse in the Rhythm of the Flow that carries you,
like the rhythm of a river running through you.

The Flow of Life runs its course the way it needs to.

The Flow of Being keeps going, keeps flowing,
no matter what the obstacles.
~
Be at peace in the flow and fluidity of Love’s Presence.

Just live in the Flow…
Just live It…

Just Trust ~ Just Love ~ Just Be…


Sweet Serenity…



Notes from my journals
Fun-Qi Art - :) Christine


Saturday, January 16, 2010

Curiosity, Intuition and Fluidity

This space of “waiting for the ‘Yes’" that I wrote about in the last post has been an interesting experience. There’s a feeling of freedom here. It’s like a new playing field has opened up. There’s a new sense of being open and playful with Life, seeing where Life wants to go, seeing that it’s all Life doing the doing, and so there’s more curiosity about Life and how it’s expressing Itself – how it’s moving and being open to how it’s moving. And so there’s a deeper listening, if you will, to the Inner Voice that some call Intuition, some call Spirit… And amongst all this there is also the realization of how I have become a Curmudgeon – grumbling and complaining – and trying to control how life has been happening, or resisting what’s been happening, instead of staying open to this inner fluidity of Life moving Itself.

In this space of “listening” a curiosity and an inner sense of “connection” with the fluidity of Life has emerged, with the Flow that underlies existence – being in touch with the deeper Flow within – and a curious and intuitive sense of how to move with it.

And I have been noticing that what I need to hear does in fact come to me in this Flow – things that eerily reflect my experience…

For instance, earlier this past week I just happened to check out Annette Nibley’s Website, and read her January Writing. Certain phrases began to emerge: “…move with What Is …with fluidity and intuition. Be curious. Be fluid. Go with whatever sparks your interest. There is a way to move with a subtler, inner world…..explore it. There are no constraints, and this is freedom. All is Self. This completely frees this life for impersonal play. It is the force of Self that actually propels you.”

It was music to my ears. I listened deeply and felt a sense of freedom flooding in…

Wednesday evening I listened to Adyashanti’s Café Dharma online satsang. Initially there didn’t appear to be anything there for me. But again, certain phrases popped as he was speaking: “Surrender your resistance to what is. See the Divine in the ups and downs of life. Surrendering completely to the moment allows us to spontaneously perceive a whole different reality – to see the peace that is there. Don’t let your non-dual philosophies about life get in the way. Let go of your *idea* of it. It’s all simultaneous Existence.”

More opening into a fluid sense of living…

Thursday evening I listened to an audio recording of a “spiritual teacher” that I have been listening to for over a year now. For several months now I have been feeling a lack of resonance with what is being said. This time I intuitively knew that it was time to move on. There was no ‘Yes’ here anymore.

I realized that sometimes in “waiting for the ‘Yes’” you get a ‘No’ – which is still fluid and open – and still takes you to where you need to go.

Yesterday I logged onto Tammi Brannen’s video blog on her Instinctive Life Website. Now I don’t normally listen to “motivational” type teachers, but my husband has been listening to this woman for several months now and I was curious. So my curiosity led me to where I needed to hear something that profoundly spoke to me. Once again I discovered that it doesn’t always come though the “normal channels” that I expect it to come through – like the “spiritual teachers” that I normally read or listen to, or the particular “path” that I’m following at any given time. But I’m noticing that if I am open and curious I may find Life speaking to me in profound ways. In her blog Tammi said: “Live the life that is true to who you are. There is a connection between who you are and your life. Do they match? How does life want to be lived? What is life showing you, offering you? Don’t approach life in terms of what you want or need, but focus on being absorbed by life. Open and receive what the Ocean of Life has to offer and ride it.”

Another opening to fluidity.

The combined messages I heard this week had a profound impact - all reflecting where I am and what I need to hear in a kind of Divine Synchroncity. “The Mystery” was fluidly and playfully dancing with me this week – leaving a universal thread running through everything I encountered. All I had to do was be open and listen.

Fun-Qi Art™ - :) Christine

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Waiting for the 'Yes'...

I am in what feels like an ‘in-between’ space. I don’t know what other word to use. Maybe – transition, internally. Neither here nor there. Finding no place to land actually – which actually is a “good” thing – not *identifying* with anything in particular. It also feels like an “open” space. Yes, that sounds right. I’m experiencing an “open space” – if you will – feeling more openness – suddenly paying attention to the subtleties of Life - rediscovering intuition – a hidden partner that hasn’t always been available, but who seems to want to make an appearance. Opening to the more subtle ways of things – an innocent awareness of the subtle – just remaining open to what is being offered and how it comes to me… This is a different orientation than what I’m used to.

It’s kind of like listening for a whisper. You know you hear something, but you can’t quite make it out. So you wait – and listen.

That’s what it feels like too – a place of waiting – internally. My external life is anything but still and subtle. In fact it is accelerating in ways that I hadn’t anticipated. But internally there’s this growing sense of “stillness-waiting” – of listening. It’s like I’m on hold, or on pause – just waiting for the ‘Yes’ - except that life is in fact busy and getting busier, chaotic even, and there is lots and lots of action. But the ‘Yes’ seems to be about a different kind of movement.

Maybe I write about Awareness and Stillness because these are what I need in these chaotic times – being pulled in many directions with many distractions; not having significant, quality meditation times. And so except for where life pulls me at the moment – I wait, internally, in stillness – for the ‘Yes’ – for the internal movement.

Maybe you feel this too – this push and pull of daily living, and yet there’s an internal waiting for the next move, the next awareness, the next opening into what awaits – the Unknown.

The page is turning and I don’t have a clue what the next page will bring in this novel I’m living. But it’s quite a page-turner! And for some reason I’m becoming okay with it. Instead of feeling my usual dread, I’m beginning to feel an almost willing anticipation, a willing participation, rather than my normal frustration and resistance. I’m beginning to *want* to *see* where Life goes next. This is strange for someone who likes structure, security, certainty and stability….

I’m tired of the old worn out ways, and am wanting a new way of being in the world – something more fluid.

At the same time I wonder if I can stay open, aware and still enough for Life to touch me in new ways – to see with new eyes as it unfolds… This remains to be seen. For today I am ‘stillness-waiting’, in the in-between open space – receptive, listening for the whisper – waiting for the ‘Yes.’


Photo – Bill Kennedy
Reflection off the hood of the car
Photo flipped 180.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Serenity's Sanctuary - Stillness

Reside in Stillness. Sink into Stillness.
Entrain deeply with Stillness, the flow and fluidity of Stillness.
Go deep and suspend in Stillness till an entrainment occurs.
Keep coming back to Stillness and let it “imprint” you,
groove you into a new groove.

Allow Stillness, the depths of Being, to infuse your mind,
body, chi ~ a deep communing with Stillness.

~

Fall into Stillness.
Be at peace with your life
And do not wish for anything to be different.
Find the Stillness in everything you experience.
Find the still corners of your experience and wait.

~

Listen deeply… Hear Stillness. Receive Stillness.
Rejuvenation is found by resting in Stillness ~
The Primordial Space of Life.
Rest there.
Sink deeply ~ listen ~ and delight
in the communion...



Sweet Serenity…



Notes from my journals 2004-2006
Fun-Qi Art™ - :) Christine
Note – the word Awareness can be substituted for Stillness,
the Awareness that is aware…




Wednesday, January 6, 2010

More on Awareness...

I've been reading back through my journal notes to see what insights I've gleaned over the last couple of months and it has amazed me that I would have these momentary insights, awarenesses, and then forget them as if I never had them! And so I evidently have to go back and read my notes to remind myself what insights I actually had that I might bring to my present circumstances. There are several themes that are always there – not only about life circumstances – but the insights that arise as well. They arise over and over again like little lights shining that say – here – look at this, see this. And then they somehow get dimmed again. The one that kept popping out at me from the pages was - Awareness.

On Nov. 29, 2009 I wrote: “ My ‘new’ mantra is ‘Awareness.’” Not like “awareness” is so “new” to me – but something was calling my attention *to* Awareness and there was a “new” awareness of Awareness emerging. So I looked back to see what might have created that statement. There were entries about how I keep re-identifying with the mind, with the thoughts that run through, believing them, and getting lost in the thought stream. Ah yes, I remember I wrote a blog around these issues - The Stream of Suffering – about the simplicity of using breath and awareness to *meet* the suffering and the thoughts that created it.

With my proclamation that "my new mantra is Awareness,” the realization that unfolded in my notes was that there is only Awareness, a field of Awareness, a timeless space of Awareness in which everything rises and falls, in which everything exists. This is also not “new” to me, but it was as if I was re-kindling an old flame that had dimmed its light, the flame of an alive, full, fluid awareness that sees, that knows, that just is – a Knowing Awareness that lives here, that is present here – as this form called “me.” The “spiritual teachers” say to turn and recognize this Awareness that we are and to rest in That – this omnipresent Presence; to experientially feel this Inner Being and rest there; to step back into the Looking Itself and just see, notice what is noticing. And of course the ultimate realization (if there is one), the gurus say, is to recognize that we ARE this Awareness – this Spacious Existence – this Presence. It is our True Nature – our Beingness.

The “practice” seems to be to bring awareness not only to the present moment, or to the things in our awareness – like the thoughts, feelings, emotions, the body - the objects in our awareness - but to bring awareness *to* this Awareness in us that is aware – or so I wrote in my notes. It’s like my focus has been on the “things” *in* Awareness - rather than on Awareness Itself – identifying with the thoughts and feelings. The analogy of words on a blackboard has been used by many teachers. We don’t *see* the blackboard as the spaciousness in which the words exist, we just focus on the words written there – and the concepts they represent. We get entangled in the words and concepts. Or, another analogy is of the clouds in the sky. We focus our attention on the clouds floating by, but miss the fact that they are suspended *in* the spaciousness of the sky. So is our planet for that matter, but we can’t see it from our position. And so from this “field” of Awareness in which everything exists, from which everything arises - whether thought, feeling, emotion, physicality, events, suffering, struggling, pain – everything is seen, is noticed as just arising in and from this Greater Context of Aware Presence. From this space it is also realized that - *essentially* - we ARE this Knowing Awareness; this alive, awake, aware Beingness. In this space of Awareness it is seen that every moment is the present moment. There is no past or future. It’s all Infinite Presentness. All that is needed, it seems, is to become *aware* of this Awareness that is aware…

So this is my “new” experiment – to once again become aware of the Awareness that is aware - to immerse myself in this Awareness - to see as Awareness sees - to *live* as Awareness – to *abide* as Awareness in the everydayness of life. There are many, many distractions for this “Meandering Mystic” that seem to take my attention away from this awareness of Awareness. Many times over the years I have had to start over, although I know it is not a linear path that leads *to* Awareness – but simply consciously being aware of what is aware in every moment. There are sometimes wonderful moments of clarity in this and sometimes an opaque veil drops down over this seeing. Divine Consciousness sometimes shines through and sometimes appears to hide behind the mask again. But I am committed to bring awareness back to the Awareness that simply sees all the little issues of life that play themselves out in form – that “I” get entangled in on a regular basis.

Is it possible that this is what the path really is – to be aware of Awareness ? It seems it is…

Before the beginning you are pure Consciousness.
You are the Fullness of Love in Love
And the emptiness of Awareness...

You are the One which is aware
of awareness....
You are the One which is even more silent than awareness.

The purpose of all practice is Silence, your real nature.

Just simply be quiet...

Papaji - The Truth Is


Sunday, January 3, 2010

Serenity's Sanctuary - Awareness

Come and bathe in the pool of Awareness everyday.
No seeking, no questioning, no agenda.
Just lay back into the Vastness of Beingness that just Is.
Feel the Spaciousness holding you, breathing you, living you.

Relax into this vast “Container” that holds
all experiences of all that is, all that you think you know.
Just let it all be held here,
suspended in Knowing Awareness.

Be still here and listen…
What are you aware of?
Awareness aware of Itself ~ as you ~
as your experience…

Allow yourself to be Awareness.
What do you see?
What do you experience?


Serenity…


Sweet Serenity…



Christine Kennedy
Originally written as “Serenity”
Copyright May 2, 2009



Photo – picture of clouds cropped from original
Bill Kennedy



Friday, January 1, 2010

"Courageously Creative"

I received an e-newsletter the other day from an astrologer friend of ours, Cindy Morris. In it she talks about the New Year’s Eve Blue Moon Lunar Eclipse and its meaning for the New Year… I was struck by the timing of receiving this newsletter and its contents. The energy of the eclipse evidently offers an opportunity for inner focus and contemplation, and then a releasing of what is no longer needed – essentially letting go of the “crap” in our lives… Hmmm… Yes, I think I got that message this week with the clogged sewer pipe :) The “stars” are evidently trying to communicate with me!

She refers to a particular alignment of planets and says: “…when we are willing to be courageously creative, thinking outside our usual limited perception of what we think can and cannot be, we can turn chaos into creative action that transforms…” Something inside me began to tune in to these words – “courageously creative” – as in how can I live these present chaotic life circumstances in courageously creative ways, rising from the ashes, or is that the dung heap, transforming “crap” into compost. Instead of being focused on what’s not working, how can I shift my focus to creatively living with what is - without the whining. Can I see what Life is offering me through these challenging events and circumstances, without asking - why isn’t Life flowing the way I want it to…

And then she asks: “How courageously creative are you willing to be in 2010?” “…am I willing to take a quantum leap of courage to create my heart’s desire?” – she asks herself.

Good question, I thought, can I do the same – considering everything that’s happening here – and how contracted I’ve become around it all – momentarily forgetting the awakened wisdom within.

So - how *do* I *live* the Heart’s desire – creatively and courageously…

I think of the creative people and artists out there in the blogosphere that I’ve come to know over the last few months who courageously live their heart’s desire in and through their art and creativity… And although I’m not an artist, I feel that same sense of creative expression in what I now call my “fun-qi” art :) (art for arts sake from the Life Force within) and to a certain extent the poetry that comes through from time to time. But it’s the actual act of “creating” with color on paper, using my fingers – more allowing this creative expression to come through from the space of Presence - that continually amazes me and connects me with the flow of inner Stillness, giving me a renewed sense of flow with Life ~~~~~~ And I certainly don’t create as often as I’d like – or need to. But I know more clearly that this Heart, this Presence within needs to express, to create, as that’s what gives me the courage to live life courageously…

Interestingly, last night I spent nearly 6 hours creating our new calendar for the year, working well into the early hours of the morning. It was a delightfully creative way to transition into the New Year – creatively focused. It’s something I’ve never done before…. Maybe a good omen! :)

Maria over at Liminal Light wrote a wonderful blog post called: Peace On Earth, For Real and indirectly addresses this same issue of courage and creativity. She writes: “Is it possible to look very clearly at Peace apart from its symbols and face value, to get all the way down to what it means to you, and then just live in it, even part time? Living in peace and love means simply expressing a natural aspect of yourself. It is already there…. It is restless with creativity… You can hear it, see it and feel it right now… ” May you have “the courage to let it live in what you say and do!”

And so as we continue on in another “New Year” of seeming chaos and entropy, both individually and collectively, may we all be “courageously creative” in life, in art and in our “spirituality”, willing to leave the “crap” behind and go deeper, fully recognizing The Self within, this courageous Creative Self that wants to live and express Itself from Its space of Divine Presence.


You can read Cindy Morris’ full astrological newsletter at her astrology blog.


Fun-Qi Art™ - :) Christine