tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905400852427551541.post2023356229942623410..comments2024-03-28T12:32:29.797-06:00Comments on Mystic Meandering: Steeping On StoriesMystic Meanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09746429719911446865noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905400852427551541.post-44211818696277364532009-08-14T11:43:03.811-06:002009-08-14T11:43:03.811-06:00Thank you Carole for this!
Yes, I relate to the i...Thank you Carole for this!<br /><br />Yes, I relate to the issues that you mention with resisting my mother and her stories, wanting her to be different - the conditioned responses, the mental projections and all. And now coming to the realization that it's not about me! Not about me getting what I want from her... This opens me up to just being present to her more cleanly, because I don't *need* anything *from* her. From this perspective she doesn't have to meet my expectations of how I want her to be. But it seems I keep having to revisit all this. It hasn't been a one time realization, but gradual and ongoing... <br /><br />What spoke to me the most in what you said here was the phrase: "I could see my mother..." That phrase just popped out at me. Wow, that's profound! Being able to just *see* without the story, without wanting her to be different than she is, or the relationship to be different. From that kind of clear seeing it seems one could be present without getting hooked and reacting. And it seems that compassion, the love, arises from this space as well... the place of just seeing. I have experienced this kind of profound compassion and love *once* with my mother. And then it quickly receded, feeling a little too vulnerable... <br /><br />However, I'm discovering lately that it seems all life really is about just seeing, stepping out of story and seeing from the place of Aware Presence... <br /><br />with gratitude...<br />ChristineMystic Meanderinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09746429719911446865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8905400852427551541.post-10393531528201872192009-08-14T10:04:50.456-06:002009-08-14T10:04:50.456-06:00Hi Christine
Ah the mother thing! You are well a...Hi Christine<br /><br />Ah the mother thing! You are well aware of all my work I have done with my mother from reading my blog. Painful and difficult are words that come to mind, so my heart goes out to you. And at some point in all the work, things diffused and I could see my mother with out all the layers of resentment that clouded my vision. <br /><br />I am trying to think of what might be helpful for you in all of that. I know finally telling my mother the truth, that I saw her as negative, that I felt that she didn't really like me, that she seemed like she was always angry at me, etc, etc. I managed to do that without anger or blame because the question I was asking myself at the time was "how can I be helpful here?" That cnoversation opened her eyes to the effect her behaviour had on me and did give her cause to reflect. She got to see my pain and truly I don't think parents want to cause pain for their children.<br /><br />I came to see how I resisted my mother, her stories, her pain. I wanted her to be different. With the encouragement of my friend, the Buddhist monk I kept working away at this. As I worked she kept reminding me never to give up on my mother. She kept me honest and my mother and I did the same dance over and over. In the end I got to see that what my mother wanted most (like so many of us) was my love. Quite simple really, though not easy. And through a strange turn of events, not when I wanted, not by my willing it, I became able to offer that.<br /><br />One question I did ask myself when my mother did things that drove me crazy was "how can I be helpful here" That question could cut through "my story" and my negative attitude toward her.<br /><br />Such hard work, but such rewarding work, to get in there and roll up our sleeves and roll around in the messiness of life. You can do it! I wish you good luck and god's speed!ZenDotStudiohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06051368546505731081noreply@blogger.com