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Friday, October 8, 2010

Inside-Out Window...

I’ve recently been fascinated and very curious about this sense of ‘me.” Why there is a *sense* of me. Is it only in perception? Is the “me” really just an appearance, a myth, a dream, an illusion, or a mask of Being – a veil of some kind. Is it really a construct of the mind, conditioning, or is it a necessary function of Being… If it’s all One – then “me” *cannot* be a separate entity – but must *be* this One-Self, Conscious, Aware, Being that just IS – the same, yet different…

Now it’s not that I haven’t sat with this sense of self before. The notes from yesterday’s post came from Journal notes written in 2004. And I wrote “The Face of the Self” – a little blurb in the right hand margin – also from my journal notes in 2008-2010. And several weeks ago I wrote the post “Egoless Window” where I had a brief moment at the Window, where I realized that there was no separate self. I have had moments when I’ve realized that life is not about “me” and then I fall back into the dream of “me” – the drama of separation – when I *know* there is no “separation.” I catch myself in the dream of “me” all the time, looking at life through habituated and conditioned prisms that distort the View – that inhibits true Seeing. So it appears that there is something to See here…

Two days ago I spent a significant amount of time in Nature – kind of like “window sitting” – only at a much larger window :). I asked: What is the Truth about this sense of me that I sometimes experience as separate?” And this is what I saw as I sat in the landscape of Nature – True Nature...

When “I” looked at the landscape, this “sense of me” did not actually *feel* separate! It was not seeing as if separate from Inner Being. Oh really! Wow! I felt inside-out if you will. There was no felt sense of separateness really… Ahhhh - I found this very interesting. As I looked around at the hills and trees and water and houses and people there was really no sense of a separate me who was doing the seeing… hmmm… Could this be? It was another “same yet different” feeling. I *was* the landscape, I was the *Seeing*, not a separate me *looking* at the landscape as if separate from what was Seeing – or what was being seen… hmmm…

Ultimately, the question of whether there is a “separate self” or not does not even arise, when *seen* from the space of Consciousness Itself. There is no *idea* of a separate ‘me’ that is not “awake.” This sense of me is one with Consciousness. It’s not even an “appearance” of “separateness” because it’s all just seamless Consciousness. Everything is enfolded within Consciousness – a seamless Self that makes no distinctions about its own manifestations. Everything is seamlessly “enveloped,” if you will, in this Conscious Awareness – like an inner landscape of ItSelf. There is no *idea* or concept of “other,” or “separate” within this space of Inner Being Landscape….

It’s like Consciousness Itself *delights* in this “sense of self” because “IT” knows that it is not separate – IT knows that it’s all Itself. Whatever is seen, is seen to be Itself…

It seems then the “issue” is with the label of ‘self’, or ”me” – an “ownership” of this sense of “me” - that creates disparity. It seems it’s all a misperception.

It’s like the lining of a coat. The coat and lining are in embrace – interfaced with each other. They are the same, yet different. The lining is part of the totality of the experience of the coat. The lining does not have a separate consciousness *from* the coat, even though it appears to be separate from the ‘outer’ fabric. It appears as if there are two pieces, yet it functions as One – one coat – one Self. The inside and outside are *essentially* the same… If the coat is turned inside out the lining shows, is expressed, but it is seamlessly still the coat – only a different face is showing…

Yesterday, as I was driving, I realized that the separate sense of me is an *assumption*. I *assume* there is a “me” that interacts with life. Ah-ha! But I noticed that there really is no *sense* of a separate me either - wow. It was realized that it’s all Self Seeing Itself as Self - all the same, yet different. It’s all part of the totality of experience. And so it seems moot to inquire about this “me”, as if it was separate. It’s all the landscape of Inner Being – inside out, or outside in. It’s all just the Landscape of Love – loving Itself…


~*~

Picture - "The Landsacape of Love"
2003



6 comments:

  1. Ahh Yes! As I think of this I say God is Consciousness ever expanding..the same with 'self.' As I believe it is one and the same thing.

    Interesting though as I was reading your words just, now I kept glancing across the page as I always do over here, and my eyes rest upon your words...

    "Here there is a gateway into Rest,
    the Quietude, where everything
    falls into "The Rhythm,"
    into the deep calm of the One."

    We are One with Nature and All That Is...

    Lovely Thoughts as always Christine!
    Namaste'

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  2. Dearest Christine,
    Thank you for this beautiful post. Somewhere close...nearby this heart there feels this thin veil...when a looking happens, usually by accident...a seeing from the other side. Like I have switched places. I'll keep on doing whatever feels right, and at hand, to get close to This...as close as I can...
    Your Window Sitting posts always feel right...they are always so generously 'at That very hand'...thank you.
    XOXO
    -Leslie

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  3. I love your image here. It reminds me of the Innu art from Northern Canada, simple but with something deeply touching.

    Ah the self... in one sense we need a self to operate in this ordinary world. And then when we look deeply, as you are doing, we see the insubstantiality of the self. Where is this self we think we are? If we do this continually I think the self becomes a little like swiss cheese, less solid and full of holes.

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  4. Thank you all for your wonderful contributions here, with your words, insights and Presence!

    Heart Hugs to all! Christine

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  5. Indeed! :)

    I love the "inside out" description. That has always been my own metaphor for that consciousness shift--as if I am suddenly looking at the inside of my own body, "out there". Such intimacy and love! Thank you, and continued sweetness to you and all the hearts here...
    Maria

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  6. Hey Maria ~ And thank you! :) What was also realized is that "I" am the "reflection" of this "landscape" that appears to be "out there"! Inner and outer are essentially the same... All reflecting the One... Amazing...

    Heart Hugs ~ Christine

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