This post was originally written in 2011
but is still timely for me...
I find the older I get the more I want to experience Truth directly,
and leave the many trodden "spiritual paths" that I've been on all my
life behind. Even as a child I wanted to know "God" - a child's
understanding of God. Then my search evolved and expanded to
include finding "myself" - whoever that was :), the Truth, Wisdom,
peace of mind, and last, but not least, the search for "Enlightenment."
They are all the same"path" under different disguises. And now,
through all these many paths, I am feeling the need to settle, deepen,
and re-discover a sense of inner Truth; not by following a particular
external path - but by intuitively listening to the voice of my Heart;
experiencing Inner Beingness directly, through spending time in
Silence (which I avoid so easily). Now if Life would only cooperate
and provide a less chaotic, disruptive, distracted life! Just kidding -
maybe... :)
Being on a "spiritual path" implies that one is going somewhere,
seeking "Some - *thing*" at the end of the journey - like
retirement after a life of working; or a magical pot of gold at the end
of the mythical rainbow; or even the mystical "Holy Grail." Or maybe
one is even seeking an end to something, like suffering, pain,
ignorance, their humanness, or the end of seeking. But what if there
was no need for "a path",, no need for seeking the illusive big
"Some-thing" that spiritual seekers seek? I find myself in this place
of questioning - again... I have been down the "seeking road" -
many times.
The path of "Enlightenment"/"Awakening"/"Self-Realization",
particularly the path of what is known as Advaita or "Non-Duality",
has lost its luster, its pull, its certainty for me - much like the other
paths I have taken throughout my life. It's just another construct.
And I'd rather not describe Truth by a negative - with no-me, no-self,
no other, no world - as Truth is all inclusive - including duality,
me, self, other, world.
Even if one follows "a path" (which can be any path) there is no
guarantee that we will discover what we are looking for, and life will
not suddenly become easy or flowing with bliss. We won't necessarily
lose our personality, with its quirks, our conditioning, or neuroses.
Our thoughts will not stop, neither will our surface struggles, or
our pain, or our stories. Walking "a path" doesn't even guarantee
that we will actually see life differently from either the mountain top,
or nose to the ground; or suddenly find our "purpose" -
as if there's only one. But no one tells us this about "the path."
It has to be a Self-discovery - for ourselves - even if we have a
"Teacher" or follow a "Teaching" to point the way.
Years of seeking, realization, recognition, and then forgetting, and then
remembering, and then forgetting again - brought me to the realization
that discovering (or rediscovering) this Being Self/Truth that we are,
is through awareness of and deep intimacy with The Silence within;
through continually coming back to the Heart of Being - the space of
Silent, Still, innate Wisdom - which of course is wherever we are at the
moment, not off in the distance somewhere. It's not a place.
"The path" doesn't go anywhere. There is no reward at the end.
It's an inner pathless path... And that's my "path" - rediscovering
this inner Silent, Aware Wisdom. It's an inner pathless path
of remembering; remembering the underlying Rhythm of
Life ItSelf -
Ommmmmm...
"A mystic is content with nothing less than
to touch the Truth in its most universal purity"
~
Empty yourself of everything.
Let the mind rest in peace.
The ten thousand things rise and fall
while the Self watches their return.
They grow and flourish and then
return to source.
Returning to the source is stillness,
which is the way of nature....
Returning is the motion of the Tao.
Lao Tzu
~~
Photo - taken by my father
1952/53