Come meander with me on the pathless path of the Heart
in these anecdotal,
sometimes inspiring, sometimes personal meanderings of the Heart's opening in the every-day-ness of Life...

Sunday, June 16, 2019

Be What You Are - Hermann Hesse

When we are stricken and cannot bear our lives any longer,
then a tree has something to say to us:
Be still!  Be still!  Look at me!  Life is not easy,
life is not difficult.  Home is neither here nor there.
Home is within you, or home is nowhere at all.

A longing to wander tears my heart when I hear trees
rustling in the wind at evening.  If one listens to them
silently for a long time, this longing reveals its kernel,
its meaning.  It is not so much a matter of escaping
from one's suffering, though it may seem to be so.
It is a longing for home, for new metaphors for life.
It leads home.  Every path leads homeward, every step
is birth, every step is death...

So the tree rustles in the evening, when we stand uneasy
before our own childish thoughts: Trees have long thoughts,
long-breathing and restful, just as they have longer lives
than ours.  They are wiser than we are, as long as we do
not listen to them.  But when we have learned how to
listen to trees, then the brevity and the quickness and the
childlike hastiness of our thoughts achieve incomparable
joy.  Whoever has learned how to listen to trees no longer
wants to be a tree.  He wants to be nothing except what
he is.  That is home.  That is happiness...

Hermann Hesse
from: Trees: Reflections and Poems

via - The Beauty We Love


To put it simply, let that mysterious grace move in your
spirit as it will and follow wherever it leads you.  Let it
be the active doer and you the passive receiver.  Do not
meddle with it, but let it be...  Your part is to be as wood
to a carpenter or a home to a dweller.  Remain blind
during this time cutting away all desire to know, for
knowledge is a hindrance here.  Be content to feel this
mysterious grace sweetly awaken in the depths of your
spirit.  Forget everything...

The Cloud of Unknowing

Friday, June 14, 2019

There Are No Frames for the Soul - O'Donohue & Rumi

We are no sooner out of the womb than we must begin the
precarious unfolding and shaping of who we are.  If we
have bad or destructive times in childhood, we begin to fix
on a survival identity to cover over and to compensate for
what happens to us.  If we are never encouraged to be
ourselves we begin to construct an identity that will gain us
either attention or approval.  When we set out to construct
our lives according to a fixed image, we damage ourselves.
The image becomes the desperate focus of all our longing.
There are no frames for the soul.
In truth we are called, in so far as we can, to live without
an image of ourselves, or at least to keep images we have
free and open.  When you sense the immensity of the
Unknown within you, any image you have built of yourself
gradually loses its promise.  Your name, your face, your
address only suggest the threshold of your identity.
Somehow you are always secretly aware of this.
Sometimes you find yourself listening to someone
telling you what you should do or describing what is
going on inside you, and you whisper to yourself that
they have not the foggiest idea who you actually are.

John O'Donohue
From Eternal Echoes

via - The Beauty We Love


I am not from the East or West
not up from the ground
or out of the ocean.
My place is placeless
a trace of the Traceless.
I am from the Soul of souls.


Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Subtle Truth - Lao Tzu

Why scurry about looking for the truth?
It vibrates in every thing and every not-thing,
right off the tip of your nose.  Can you be still and see it
in the mountain? the pine tree? yourself? 
Don't imagine that you'll discover it by accumulating
more knowledge.  Knowledge creates doubt, and doubt
makes you ravenous for more knowledge.
You can't get full eating this way.
The wise person dines on something more subtle:
He eats the understanding that the named was born from the unnamed,
that all being flows from non-being, that the describable world
emanates from an indescribable source.
  He finds this subtle truth
inside his own self...

So who can be still and watch the chess game of the world?
The foolish are always making impulsive moves,
but the wise know that victory and defeat are decided by something
more subtle.  They see that something perfect exists before any
move is made.  This subtle perfection deteriorates when
artificial actions are taken,
so be content not to disturb the peace.
Remain quiet.
Discover the harmony in your own being.
Embrace it.
If you can do this, you will gain everything,
and the world will become healthy again.

Lao Tzu

Sunday, June 9, 2019

When Dark Clouds - Jamie K. Reaser

When the dark clouds lay thick
before you and the wind has
lifted your hair and taken it
someplace wild, do nothing.
Be no one known.
What has happened is moving
on to new horizons.  What remains
are the desires withstood and
all the unfinishedness that will
see you through to the next day.

copyright/ Jamie K. Reaser
From "Truth and Beauty"


The hurt you embrace becomes joy...


Thursday, June 6, 2019

Equanimity - Jack Kornfield

Even though we may cultivate a boundless compassion
for others, and strive to alleviate suffering in the world,
there will be many situations we are unable to affect.
The well known serenity prayer says, "May I have the
serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the
courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom
to know the difference."  Wisdom recognizes that all
beings act and receive the fruits of their actions.  We can
deeply love others and offer them assistance, but
in the end they must learn for themselves,
they must be the source of their own liberation.

Equanimity is the willingness to be in life, but to be
spacious and open, to have a vast perspective and be able
to say - "Yes, here I am, showing up, caring and loving,
but I'm not in control of this [situation].

Jack Kornfield
Buddhist Teacher

I learned several years ago that you cannot rescue
someone from their life...  I keep having to learn it...
Although it is hard to see someone go through what
they must go through until they learn to take responsibility
for their own lives and choices...


Monday, June 3, 2019

Beyond "Spirituality" - MM & A.H. Almaas

Beyond the "cloak of spirituality" that we wear,
in its many guises, is the unconditioned Nature
of our own Being - the "Genuine Self",
the "Authentic Self", the "Precious Pearl"
at the depths of Beingness;
not the super-imposed conditioning of belief systems,
but the pure state of Being from deep within the
Quietness of Consciousness
that has no "belief", no conditioned *idea* of
"spirituality" - just pure Being,
living as we are...

Mystic Meandering
May 27, 2019


The non-dual realization is only a step toward
greater mysteries and forms of freedom
leading to the deepening realization
of the fullness of being human,
expressing the totality of the
cosmos in all its physical and
spiritual dimensions -
living the simplicity
ordinary life.


Photo - Pikes Peak
taken from Greenland, CO

Saturday, June 1, 2019

Waiting - Leza Lowitz

You keep waiting for something to happen,
the thing that lifts you out of yourself,

catapults you into doing all the things you've put off,
the great things you're meant to do in your life,

but somehow you never quite get to.
You keep waiting for the planets to shift

the new moon to bring news,
the universe to align, something to give.

Meanwhile, the pile of papers, the laundry the dishes, the job -
it all stacks up while you keep hoping

for some miracle to blast down upon you,
scattering the piles to the winds.

Sometimes you lie in bed, terrified of your life.
Sometimes you laugh at the privilege of waking.

But all the while, life goes on in its messy way.
And then you turn forty.  Or fifty.  Or sixty... [or 70] :)

and some part of you realizes you are not alone
and you find signs of this in the animal kingdom -

when a snake sheds its skin its eyes glaze over,
it slinks under a rock, not wanting to be touched,

and when caterpillar turns to butterfly
if the pupa is brushed, it will die -

and when the bird taps its beak hungrily against the egg
it's because the things is too small, too small,

and it needs to break out.
And midlife walks you into that wisdom

that this is what transformation looks like -
the mess of it, the tapping at the walls of your life,

the yearning and writhing and pushing,
until one day, one day

you emerge from the wreck
embracing both the immense dawn

and the dusk of the body,
glistening, beautiful

just as you are.

Leza Lowitz

Thank you to Ivan Granger at Poetry Chaikhana


Thursday, May 30, 2019

In The Garden of Time - Chuck Surface


Some of our deepest wounds,
Are judgments, self-inflicted,
Endless paper cuts upon our spirit,
Made by an inherently imperfect 'self',
Despising its imperfection.

When in fact, the green-stemmed fruit,
The infant petals in a sheltering bud,
Are as they should be, in their time,
On schedule to arrive, in their time,
In this Dream of passing seasons.

For here, in The Garden of Time,
What is not yet, becomes what is,
And what is, becomes what was,
And our manifest Being, ever ripening,
Is not yet, now, as it will be, then.

On this Path of Love and Surrender,
Tend gently the seedling of the Heart,
Doing the needful, as you are able,
But then Surrender, giving yourself over,
Sweet unripened...

To The Beloved Gardner.

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Farewell Letter - David Whyte

She wrote me a letter
after her death
and I remember
a kind of happy light
falling on the envelope
as I sat by the rose tree
on her old bench
at the back door,
so surprised by its arrival
wondering what she would say,
looking up before I could open it
and laughing to myself
in silent expectation.

Dear son, it is time
for me to leave you.
I am afraid that the words
you are used to hearing
are no longer mine to give.
They are gone and mingled
back in the world
where it is no longer
in my power
to be their first
original author
not their last loving bearer.
You can hear
motherly affection now
only from your own mouth
and only
when you speak them
to those
who stand
before you.

As for me I must forsake
and be bound gladly
to a new childhood.
You must understand
this apprenticeship
demands of me
an elemental innocence
from everything
I ever held in my hands.

I know your generous soul
is well able to let me go...


I find myself
after loving you all so long,
in the wide
infinite mercy
of being mothered myself.

P.S. All your intuitions are true.

Thank you to - The Beauty We Love

Monday, May 27, 2019


A kind of 'grief' has hit me again...
I'm beginning to feel haunted with memories of my mother's death,
how she looked the last few days, with eyes glazed over, struggling,
unable to make a connection.  I wasn't there to see her the last
morning when "she" died...  the person, the persona, the body...

But the "pictures" of the days before that I hold in my mind are
beginning to flash back.

I don't understand why she didn't go peacefully, even before
those last few days, when she lost her ability to speak,
her tongue swollen, unable to eat or drink without choking;
she had lost her ability to swallow.
She couldn't move her arms or turn in bed - as if paralyzed.
It must have been scary for her.
In those last few days I couldn't offer any solace or comfort.
It frightened me to see her this way,
because I felt helpless to do anything for her...
The body mechanism was dying...
The circuits of her brain were shutting down.
All we could do was wait, and watch over a period of days
as she slowly passed - still conscious, then semi-conscious,
then unconscious, then gone...

She would look up at the ceiling as if there was something
there, but she could not communicate what she saw.
And she'd look out the window as if to look for something
'out there.'  Maybe the beautiful woman that she said she
saw on the fence, when she could speak, who told her that
she was going to help her on her "Journey."

"Journey" well Mom...

So those are the memories I have of Mom on this
Memorial Day, trying to find better memories
in my mind.

Strange how the grief comes back to haunt you...

I can't overlay it with some nice "spiritual" belief;
It is what it is.  I feel what I feel.
Accepting everything as it is...

Photo - Mom in the hospital Dec. 27, 2018
less than 3 months before she passed at home
on March 21, 2019

Sunday, May 26, 2019

Follow Your Genuine Self - Eric Baret

Fear, rage, love, sadness or any other emotion
with no apparent cause are bursting bubbles in a
boiling magma back to the heart of what is essential.
Lacking in clarity, we link the emotion to a situation,
and allow it to disturb our peace.  In reality, emotion
points to the heart.
  When we refuse an emotion we are
simply postponing life.  Emotion is inherently free of
thought or knowledge.  If we remain present to our
emotions, the habit of attributing them to an external
cause will, sooner or later, fall away.

If you meet someone who is at peace, you can feel peace
in their presence.  The important thing is to realize that this
peace you feel is your own emotion as well.....experience
this openness that you experience in the so-called other.
Stay present to it...  What you feel in the other is also
your experience...

You might occasionally go to listen to [a spiritual teacher],
but you realize what you hear to be true on his lips is
your own truth...

You must follow yourself when you feel a true emotion.
You might be reading a text by Meister Eckhart and an
emotion arises in you.  Close the book; the text will fall away.
The important thing is the tear sliding down your cheek.  This
is your treasure, your direction, your teaching.
  It is what
you must follow, must listen to....

Eric Baret

Via - No Mind's Land


There is something that waits and listens for the sound of
the genuine in yourself.  Can you find a way to hear the
sound of the genuine in yourself?  Do you know who you
genuinely are?

Howard Thurman

Friday, May 24, 2019

Your Original Depth - Eckhart Tolle

Partly as a result of the spiritual teachings that have arisen outside
the established religions, but also due to an influx of the ancient
Eastern wisdom teachings, a growing number of followers of
traditional religions are able to let go of identification with form,
dogma, and rigid belief systems and discover the original depth
that is hidden within themselves.  They realize that how 'spiritual'
you are has nothing to do with what you believe but everything to
do with your state of consciousness.  This, in turn, determines how
you act in the world and interact with others.

Many people are already aware of the difference between spirituality
and religion.  They realize that having a belief system - a set of
thoughts that you regard as absolute truth - does not make you
spiritual no matter what the nature of those beliefs is.  In fact,
the more you make your thoughts [beliefs] into your identity,
the more cut off you are from the spiritual dimension within yourself. 
Many 'religious' people are stuck at that level.  They equate truth
with  thought, and as they are completely identified with thought
 [their mind], they claim to be in sole possession of the truth in an
unconscious attempt to protect their identity.

What is arising now is not a new belief system, a new religion,
spiritual ideology, or mythology.  We are coming to an end,
not only of mythologies but also ideologies and belief systems.
The change goes deeper than the content of your mind,
deeper than your thoughts... to your Original Depth...

Eckhart Tolle
From - A New Earth


Photo - from the internet

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

A Symbolic Universe - Ernst Cassirer

...man lives in a symbolic universe.  Language, myth, art,
and religion are parts of this universe.  They are the varied
threads which weave the symbolic net, the tangled web of
human experience.  All human progress in thought and
experience refines and strengthens this net.  Physical reality
seems to recede in proportion as man's symbolic activity

He has so enveloped himself in linguistic forms, in artistic images,
in mythical symbols or religious rites that he cannot see
or know anything except by the interposition of this
artificial medium.  His situation is the same in the
theoretical as in the practical sphere.  Even here man does
not live in a world of hard facts, or according to his immediate
needs and desires. He lives, rather, in the midst of imaginary
emotions, in hopes and fears, in illusions and disillusions, in
his fantasies and dreams.  'What disturbs and alarms man,'
said Epictetus, 'are not the things, but his opinions and fantasies
about the things.'

German Philosopher
From - An Essay on Man:
An Introduction to a Philosophy of Human Culture

via - The Beauty We Love


Fun-Qi Art - 2009
Craypas oils
done with fingers

Monday, May 20, 2019

When a madman smiles at you - Rumi

Galen, the great physician, asked one of his assistants
to give him a certain medicine.

"Master, that medicine is for crazy people!
You're far from needing that!"

Galen: Yesterday a madman turned and smiled at me,
did his eyebrows up and down, and touched my sleeve.
He wouldn't have done that if he hadn't recognized
in me someone congenial."

Anyone that feels drawn,
for however short a time, to anyone else,
those two share a common consciousness.

From Rumi's Little Book of Love and Laughter
version by Coleman Barks


I had an experience last year similar to this.
I encountered a black man who came up quickly
behind me in his wheelchair while I was shopping
at the local Walmart.  I laughed and quickly got out of
his way because he startled me.  He engaged with me
in my startledness with a grin and some banter. I bantered
back, feeling awkward yet relieved by the humor.  There
was a connection there that was lighthearted, yet strange.
 But I just went with it.  He had one leg in a boot cast,
so I assumed he had  been injured - thus the wheelchair. 
We continued our banter in the middle of the grocery aisle.
I was feeling a bit captured, and am sure we appeared crazy
to those around us...  as they slowly maneuvered past us... :)

A few weeks later I saw him again from a distance, although
 he didn't see me. He was still in his wheelchair, with the boot
cast on - just sitting in an open spot in the store.  He suddenly
turned his head and said something over his shoulder -
 to no one there!
I realize now that he was my "madman" in a wheelchair who
recognized something "congenial" in me for a short time
through our smiles and banter...

The "medicine" it seems is to see that we are alike,
that we all share a common consciousness,
even in our "madness" sometimes...
and in that we can find compassion for each other.


Saturday, May 18, 2019

Neither "Separate" nor "One" - Matt Licata

We are neither "separate" nor "one", but the erupting holding
field in which the energies of "separate" and "one" interpenetrate
and dance the relative into being.  Neither of these concepts
are majestic enough to contain the mystery of the soul.  While
we may have a preference over unity and oneness, over
multiplicity and differentiation, it would appear that Love
does not share this bias and is ready at all times to equally
employ either of its manifestations to be its envoy here.

Those visitors of raw, achy, lonely, broken openness are not
neuroses to be cured or mistakes to be remedied. The shaky
vulnerability is not pathology, it is path.  As our perception
is cleansed, we see that they are not obstacles, but passionate,
yearning requests, tending to the lost grief, joy, rage
and peace of the unlived life.

The freedom we long for will never be found in the eradication
of the unwanted, but only in deeper layers of attunement to the
love and information it carries.  At times the burning can seem
unbearable.  Such is the nature of the human heart.  We may
burn until we are translucent, but it is by way of this burning
that wholeness is revealed.

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Peace Bell - The Great Bell Chant

May the Sound of this Bell
Penetrate deep into the Cosmos.
Even in the darkest spots
Living Beings are able to hear it clearly
So that all suffering in them ceases.
Understanding comes to their hearts
And they transcend the path
of Sorrow and Death.

The Universal Dharma Door
Is already open.
The Sound of the Rising Tide is heard clearly.
The miracle happens.
A beautiful child appears in the heart of the Lotus flower.
One single drop of this Compassionate Water
is enough to bring back the refreshing Spring
To our mountains and Rivers.

Listening to the Bell
I feel the afflictions in me begin to dissolve.
My mind calm, my body relaxed
A smile is born on my lips.
Following the Sound of the Bell
My breath brings me back to the safe Island of Mindfulness.
In the Garden of my Heart
the flowers of Peace
Bloom beautifully.

Monday, May 13, 2019

Violence - J. Krishnamurti

We are trying to understand violence as a fact,
not as an idea, as a fact which exists in the human being,
and the human being is myself.  And to go into the
problem I must be completely vulnerable, open, to it.
I must expose myself to myself - not necessarily
expose myself to you because you may not be interested -
but I must be in a state of mind that demands to see this thing
right to the end...

Now it must be obvious to me that I am a violent human being.
I have experienced violence in anger, violence in hatred, creating
enmity, violence in jealousy and so on - I have experienced it, I
have known it, and I say to myself 'I want to understand this whole
 problem, not just one fragment of it expressed in war, but this
aggression in man that also exists in animals, of which I am a part.

Violence is not merely killing another.  It is violence when we use
a sharp word, when we make a gesture to brush away a person, when
we obey because of fear.  So violence isn't merely organized butchery
in the name of God, in the name of society or country.  Violence is
much more subtle, much deeper...

When you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim or a Christian or a
European, or anything else, you are being violent.  Do you see why
it is violent?  Because you are separating yourself from the rest of
mankind.  When you separate yourself by belief, by nationality,
by tradition, it breeds violence.  So a man who is seeking to
understand violence does not belong to any country, to any religion,
to any political party or system; he is concerned with the
total understanding of mankind.

The moment you protect a belief, an idea, a dogma, the thing that
you demand or that you hold, that very protection indicates anger.
So can you look at anger without any explanation or justification...
Can you look at anger completely objectively?

To go beyond violence I cannot suppress it, I cannot deny it...
I have to look at it.  I must become intimate with it.  You have
to learn how to look at anger...  You have to learn why you are not
objective, why you condemn or justify.  You have to learn that you
condemn and justify because it is part of the social structure you live
in, your conditioning as a German or an Indian or a Negro
 or an American or whatever you happen to have been born with,
 all the dulling of the mind that this conditioning results in.

To live completely, fully, in the moment is to live with what is,
including the anger...  The face of violence is not only outside
you but inside you...

J. Krishnamurti
excerpt from: Freedom from the Known


All violence begins with disconnection [a sense of separation].
All outward violence begins as inner loneliness [a sense of not belonging].

[We must] break the code of disconnection...

Glenn Doyle Melton

Saturday, May 11, 2019

The Root of All Things - Chuang Tzu

The non-action of the wise man is not inaction.
It is not studied.  It is not shaken by anything.
The sage is quiet because he is not moved,
Not because he wills to be quiet.
Still water is like glass.
You can look in it and see the bristles on your chin.
It is a perfect level;
A carpenter could use it.
If water is so clear, so level,
How much more the spirit of man?
The heart of the wise man is tranquil.
It is the mirror of heaven and earth.
The glass [mirror] of everything.
Emptiness, stillness, tranquility, tastelessness,
Silence, non-action: this is the level of heaven and earth.
This is the perfect Tao.  Wise men find here
Their resting place.
Resting, they are empty.

From emptiness comes the unconditioned.
From this, the conditioned, the individual things.
So from the sage's emptiness, stillness arises:
From stillness, action.  From action, attainment.
From their stillness comes their non-action,
which is also action, which is, therefore, their attainment.
For stillness is joy.  Joy is free from care.
Joy does all things without concern:
For emptiness, stillness, tranquility, tastelessness,
Silence, and non-action
Are the root of all things.

translation by Thomas Merton

with thanks to The Beauty We Love!

Thursday, May 9, 2019

No Greater Temple - Matt Licata

At times the visitor of melancholy will appear,
arriving from the night world, from the moon,
[the feeling world], not to harm, but to reveal.
A tenderness, a disappointment, a raw achy
uncertainty.  The guide has appeared but wasn't
quite what we thought.  Such is the way of the
heart.  As we are made into dust, the fire is tended.

While it may be tempting to replace the burning
with bliss, the sadhana of disappointment demands
that we listen, to the stories and feelings and whispers,
and longings, and place the shattered pieces on the
altar in front of us.

Even if we cannot love, accept, or transform what has
come, we can always bow.  What this bowing looks
like for each of us will never conform to other's
fantasies and ways; for the map is weaved deep into
our soul alone.

We can fall to the ground and bear empathic witness to
the broken wholeness, to the wisdom shining out of
the human heart, for there is no greater temple.

Matt Licata

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

Be ahead of all parting - Rilke

Be ahead of all parting, as if it had already happened,
like winter, which even now is passing.
For beneath winter is a winter so endless
that to survive it at all is a triumph of the heart.

Be forever dead in Eurydice - more, gladly arise
into seamless life...
Here among the disappearing, in the realm of the transient,
be a crystal cup that shatters as it rings.

Be. And know as well the need to not be;
know the great void where all things begin,
the infinite source of your most intense vibration,
so that you may give it your perfect assent
and come to completion now.

To all that has run its course, and to the vast unsayable
numbers of beings abounding in Nature,
add yourself gladly...

Rainer Maria Rilke
Sonnets to Orpheus II, 13

I combined the translations of Stephen Mitchell,
Joanna Macy and Anita Barrows

With thanks to Being Silently Drawn


Eurydice was Orpheus' wife, but is also
a reference to the underworld in Greek Mythology.

Sunday, May 5, 2019

The Unbroken - Rashani Rea

There is a brokenness
out of which comes the unbroken,
a shatteredness
out of which blooms the unshatterable.
There is a sorrow
beyond all grief which leads to joy
and a fragility
out of whose depths emerges strength.

There is a hollow space
too vast for words
through which we pass with each loss,
out of whose darkness
we are sanctioned into being.

There is a cry deeper than all sound
whose serrated edges cut the heart
as we break open to the place inside
which is unbreakable and whole,
while learning to sing.

Thursday, May 2, 2019

Listen from the Depths...

In Deep Silence
In Deep Rest
In Deep Quiet
In Deep Awareness
Deeply listen...

Deeply unwind
the wounds
the dramas
the stories

in the depths
of the Silence
of Existence


Touch and be touched by it -
this Sacred Silence,
this Awareness
that holds your

From the depths of
your Being

Listen ~

to the whisper of
The Wound

Touch its depth
allow it
into the liquid flow
of Life
resting in
the Depths
of the Heart

the Depths

Be absorbed by

Keep vigil
from this space
Sacred Silence

From here all things
are made

Mystic Meandering
May 4, 2012

istock photo


Personal Note: Thank you to those who commented,
either directly on the post or through email re: my last post,
"Life Postmortem."  I appreciate your kindness and offerings...
And to DK who posted an inspiring post that rekindled the
Inner Spark - Thank you...

And to Ori and Lydia - you make my Heart dance.
Much gratitude

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Life Postmortem...

It's been six weeks since my mother passed...  My grieving has ended.
I did most of my grieving over the 3 months she was home on
"Hospice Care", waiting to die; which was really her children taking
care of her 24/7, watching her deteriorate; although, because of her
dementia, she forgot that's what was happening to her - until about
a week before she passed, making it all the more sad...
She struggled so hard to hang on to life...

But my mother's passing was not the worst part actually.
I am at peace with that and my "spiritual" beliefs have seen
me through.  It's the "postmortem..."

Now my days are dominated with going through her 90 years of
life's belongings at her house with my sister.  Mom was a bit of a
pack rat/hoarder, so we are trying to clear things out so we can
put the house up for sale, which also means trying to find a place
for my sister to live, as she has lived with my mother for 8 1/2 years.
But she doesn't want to move.  That is not an option - she can't pay
the mortgage or the bills...  My brother returned to his home early
in April after staying with Mom for 3 months until the week after
she died, and tried to set things in motion for my sister and I to
follow through in processing the "postmortem" experience.

The process itself is difficult, even demanding, but with my siblings
has been especially challenging.  We are all so very different;
different values, different priorities, different perceptions, and we've
 all taken different paths, and made different life choices for ourselves
 and how we choose to live...  And they don't mix well.  But we manage
most of the time to treat each other kindly...  Unfortunately there has
 also been a lot of drama, which I really can't expand upon here... 
But will be glad when everything is finally settled, and I can "move on",
 as they say, and have some space to breathe again, and hopefully
 rekindle  the Spark within, as I am feeling rather uninspired lately
 - lackluster;  out of sync with the rhythms of Life.
 Like an automaton going through  the motions to get things done,
 yet surprisingly "present" as well.

But nothing speaks to me anymore - well almost nothing.
Feeling trapped in the particulars of my moment-to-moment
experience. It is what it is, and I am where I am...  No pretense here...
The stress of the family dysfunction and the grind of being
 immersed in the mundane has made me weary of life - and placed a
 heavy burden on my heart...

I have had little time for Solitude and deep Meditation - feeling rather
distracted by the externals of living, creating a feeling of "separation"
from the Alive Presence within...
My meditation space has now become storage space for some of my
 mother's things, which will have to be gone through at a later time -
another "postmortem" activity...

I don't foresee this "experience" ending any time soon.  It will probably
last through the Summer, although I know this too shall pass, and
there will be another, hopefully brighter, postmortem...

I realize I am on the edge of a new journey, a new chapter in this
story that is playing itself out in my life at the moment - waiting
for the page to turn.  I know it's all just a story in the context of a
larger Story - but still...  It is being lived in "real" time... condensed
from somewhere out of time...
And so it goes...



In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out.
It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another
human being.  We should all be thankful for those people
who rekindle the inner spirit.

Albert Schweitzer

Sunday, April 28, 2019

Constant Kindness - Albert Schweitzer & Cheri Huber

[We] must oppose all cruel customs, no matter how
deeply rooted in tradition and surrounded by a halo.
When we have a choice, we must avoid bringing
torment and injury into the life of another...

Constant kindness can accomplish much.  As the sun
makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding,
mistrust and hostility to evaporate...

Albert Schweitzer


Being kind to yourself lets you be kinder to others -
and that just might be the finest gift we can give
to the world...

Cheri Huber
Zen teacher


Photo - mittens left on a bench 2012
One day in the winter of 2012
 when I walked to the park I found
these "mittens" on the bench there.
I arranged them in a certain configuration.
When I went back the next day they had
been rearranged in a different configuration.
I then rearranged them again...
And the following day they had been reconfigured.
This went on for several days.
To this day I still don't know who the stranger was
who engaged in this playful game...  But it lifted my
Kindness through the invisible hand of a stranger :)

Saturday, April 27, 2019

Perspective - Carse, Lin Chi, Kastrup & Bailey

How we perceive things, and therefore what we call
'real,' or 'true,' or 'right,' has to do with our perspective
from where we sit in the overall continuum.
The tendency is to absolutize one's own perspective,
to make everything relative to that, when in fact our
perspective is what is relative...

David Carse
Perfect Brilliant Stillness


If you want to perceive and understand objectively, just don't
allow yourself to be confused by people.  Detach from whatever
you find inside or outside yourself - detach from religion, tradition,
and society, and only then will you attain liberation. When you're
not entangled in things, you pass through freely...

Lin Chi


All explanations are myths whose truth-value we assign
subjectively.  They are true only insofar as we say that they are
true.  They are stories we conjure up and tell ourselves in order
to make sense of the disconnected, context-free phantasmagoria of
present perception.  It makes no sense to proclaim any explanation
for the present to be objectively true...

Bernardo Kastrup
More Than Allegory


Stories about existence can't be fact.
What is your actual experience?
What has life been presenting all along?
Don't deny your day-to-day experience.

We are the dance of the universe.
All the story lines are a legitimate
expression of Existence...

The Formless is form...

Darryl Bailey

Photo - shadow of the spindles in the back of a chair
on a wall...

Thursday, April 25, 2019

The Sanctuary of Silence - Dada Gavand & Angeles Arrien

You cannot meet God through the mind,
nor experience the timeless through time.

Thought cannot touch the transient.
Only with freedom from thought
and from mental cravings and ambitions
does the energy become
whole, tranquil and pure.

Such inner purity and humility
will invite the hidden divinity.

The pure consolidated energy
with its silence and fullness within,
awaits in readiness to meet the divine,
to experience what which is beyond the mind.

There across the region of time
beyond the frontiers of the mind,
within the sanctuary of silence,
resides the supreme intelligence,
the timeless divine.


I trust the Mystery.  I trust what comes in silence
and what comes in nature where there's no diversion.
I think the lack of stimulation allows us to hear and
experience a deeper river that's constant, still,vibrant,
and real.

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Sama - Rumi

What is deep listening?

Sama is a greeting from the secret ones inside the heart,
a letter.  The branches of your "intelligence" grow
new leaves in the wind of listening.
The body reaches a peace.

Rooster sound comes, reminding you of your love
for dawn.  The reed flute and thin singer's lips:
the knack of how spirit breathes into us
becomes as simple and ordinary as
eating and drinking.


Listen, and feel the beauty of the


Give more of your life to this listening.
As brightness is to time, so are you to
the one who talks to the deep ear in
your chest.

I should sell my tongue and buy a thousand
ears when that one steps near and begins to speak.


Excerpt from - The Glance
Coleman Barks version

via The Beauty We Love


Sama is the quality of calmness and tranquility
of the mind...It is deep listening as a way
of connecting with the Divine

Sunday, April 21, 2019

The Guest - Kabir

The Guest is inside you, and also inside me;
you know the sprout is hidden inside the seed.
We are all struggling; none of us has gone far.
Let your arrogance go, and look around inside.

The blue sky opens out farther and farther,
the daily sense of failure [despair] goes away,
the damage I have done to myself fades,
a million suns come forward with light,
when I sit firmly in that world.

I hear bells ringing that no-one has shaken,
inside "love" there is more joy than we know of,
rain pours down, although the sky is clear of clouds,
there are whole rivers of light.
The universe is shot through with in all parts by a
single sort of love.
How hard it is to feel that joy in all our bodies!

Those who hope to be reasonable about it fail.
The arrogance of reason has separated us from that love.
With the word "reason" you already feel miles away.

How lucky Kabir is, that surrounded by all this joy
he sings inside his own boat.
His poems amount to one soul meeting another.
These songs [poems] are about forgetting dying and loss.
They rise above both coming in and going out. [birth and death].


from: Ecstatic Poems

Thanks to The Beauty We Love

The following is part of a commentary on the above poem
that I found this morning on line.  Author Unknown...


God is already in you; the True God, not the man made
image of God, not god of the temples, and the churches,
and the synagogues and the mosques and the gurudwaras...
The god that man has imagined in his own image, the god
that man made according to his own wishes, the god that is
nothing but the projection of man's mind and desires...
  That god never really existed.[because "God" is much
vaster than our personal limited images of who/what
The untrue [image] MUST cease for the truth to be.

Those who know the True God, know God as the fragrance
of life, the perfume of existence, the very ground of being.
For them God is not a concept, not a theory, not a hypothesis.
For them God is an existential experience.  For them God
is not separate from man, for them God is man's innermost
core...  God is nothing but your own depth [your Core Being]
trying to manifest itself.  God is not an ideal.
God exists as you - as life.
Life is eternal.
Life is immortal.
It changes forms, just like the waves in the ocean go on changing
but the ocean remains.  Bodies come and go, but your innermost
[Being] remains always there.  And that is God.

God is not to be worshiped, but realized.  There is no need to make
temples for God.  You have to learn to look within.
The temple is already there; It cannot be destroyed.

God is always your interiority...

The Guest is within you, but you have to turn in...
You have to become more conscious of your Consciousness.
You have to become more aware of your Awareness.
A point of stillness comes where you are simply aware of
your [inner] Awareness...

When Awareness [the Core Being] is the only content of your
awareness, that is the moment when The Guest is found...

author unknown

Friday, April 19, 2019

The Inside Door - Jan Richardson

You have looked
at so many doors
with longing,
wondering if your life
lay on the other side.

For today,
choose the door
that opens to the inside.

Travel the most ancient way
of all:
the path that leads you
to the center
of your life.

No map
but the one
you make yourself.

No provision
but what you already carry
and the grace that comes
to those who walk
the pilgrim's way.

Speak this blessing
as you set out
and watch how
your rhythm slows,
the cadence of the road
drawing you into the pace
that is your own.

Eat when hungry.
Rest when tired.
Listen to your dreaming.
Welcome detours
as doors deepen in.

Pray for protection.
Ask for guidance.
Offer gladness
for the gifts that come,
and then
let them go.

Do not expect
to return
by the same road.
Home is always
by another way,
and you will know it
not by the light
that waits for you

but by the star
that blazes inside you,
telling you
where you are
is holy
and you are welcome

Jan Richardson

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Who Are You Without Your Spiritual Story? - Jeff Foster

Please don't talk to me of "Pure Awareness" or
"Dwelling in the Absolute."  I want to see how you treat
your partner, your kids, your parents, your body.
Please don't lecture me about "the illusion of the separate
self" or how you achieved permanent bliss in just 7 days.
I want to feel a genuine warmth radiating from your heart.
I want to hear how well you listen, take information that
doesn't fit your personal philosophy [belief].  I want to see
how you deal with people who disagree with you.  Don't tell
me how awakened you are, how free you are from ego.  I want
to know you beneath the words.  I want to know what you're like
when troubles befall you. If you can fully allow your pain and
not pretend to be invulnerable.  If you can feel your anger yet not
step into violence.  If you can grant safe passage to your sorrow
yet not be its slave.  If you can feel your shame and not shame others.
If you can f**k up, and admit it. If you can say "sorry", and really
mean it.  If you can be fully human in your glorious divinity.
Don't talk to me about your spirituality, friend.  I only want to meet
you.  Know your precious heart.  Know your beautiful human
struggling for the light.  Before all clever words...

Sunday, April 14, 2019

The Gentle Voice - John O'Donohue

When you take the time to draw on your listening-imagination,
you will begin to hear this gentle voice at the heart of your life.

It is deeper and surer than all the other voices of disappointment,
unease, self-criticism and bleakness.  All holiness is about
learning to hear the voice of your own soul.  It is always there
and the more deeply you learn to listen, the greater surprises
and discoveries that will unfold.

To enter into the gentleness of your own soul changes the tone
and quality of your life.  Your life is no longer consumed by
hunger for the next event, experience or achievement.
You gain a new respect for yourself and others.  You begin to see
through the enchanting veils of illusion that you had taken for
reality.  You no longer squander yourself on things and situations
that deplete your essence.  You know now that your true source
is not outside you.

Your soul is your true source,
 and a new energy and passion
awakens within you.

John O'Donohue
From: Beauty, The Invisible Embrace


Photo - via - No Mind's Land