Distant Moons...

Maybe I'll go to a distant moon
off Jupiter after "I" die - and be
moon dust

or become an Aurora Borealis -
Making wave forms across the
night sky

or maybe just hang out in a star cluster
or rebirth myself in a Nebula,
or through a black hole into
another Universe

This life is only a portal to Eternity...

Mystic Meandering
Aug 29, 2022

~

Art - Mystic Meandering
2016

a section of a piece I did called "Emergence"
but noticed the several little white spots,
after I sprayed the canvas with water to
create the drip and melding affects, that
reminded me of "distant moons" ;) 

 

Primordial Love...

The Love that emerges within us
when the Inner Sanctuary opens ~

Just Is...

Just Loves

Love ~ Loving

A causeless Love

Beyond space and time

My first felt experience of It
left me in awe
of Its Vastness...
Its Clarity...
Its Lovingness...

This Love doesn't love
"because of"...
It Loves without reason...

It is Primordial Love ~

Unconditioned
Uncontrived
Untouched

It loves "just because",
because It IS Love...

Love beyond comprehension...
Love beyond what we think is "love"...

How could one possibly
comprehend the
limitless,
unbounded,
uncontained
Love
that
Just
IS

~

~

~

Effluent Love
flowing from Itself

Endlessly

~
~
~

It is not an object called "love"
or an attribute that "I"
can achieve or attain...

But is the pure,
perpetual

GLOW

of Effulgent Primordial Love

Self-sustaining, self-generating
Brilliance

from
the Heart of Hearts

L~O~V~E

Mystic Meandering

2015

~

Photo - Aurora Borealis from a calendar

 

 

Be Still and still moving - T.S. Eliot

Home is where one starts from.  As we grow older
The world becomes stranger, the pattern more complicated
Of dead and living.  Not the intense moment
Isolated, with no before and after,
But a lifetime burning in every moment
And not the lifetime of one man only
But of old stones that cannot be deciphered.
There is a time for the evening under starlight,
A time for the evening under lamplight
(The evening with the photograph album).
Love is most nearly itself
When here and now cease to matter.

Old men ought to be explorers
Here or there does not matter

We must be still and still moving
Into another intensity
For a further union, a deeper communion
Through the dark cold and the empty desolation,
The wave cry, the wind cry, the vast waters
Of the petrel and the porpoise.
In my end is my beginning.

~  T.S. Eliot

from East Coker - section V

with thanks to The Beauty We Love

~

Photo - created with a visualizer to the sound of music

 

The Wound - Maya Luna

Maybe you don't heal 

The wound

Maybe it becomes an

Opening

Where buried truths can finally

Speak

Maybe it's a portal into

An abandoned universe

Crying out to be

Known

Maybe the rip and tear is tilled

Ground

Where fresh creation

Blooms

Maybe it wasn't meant to be

Closed

Maybe its a secret

Well

A blackened vessel

Where power flows

Maybe the raw cut was meant to

Bleed

Vital Medicine into

Thirsty Hearts

Maya Luna

with thanks to No Mind's Land

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
2004

 

Feeling Old - a meandering...

I feel old...

But I now enjoy sitting in "aloneness" in the
inner wilderness of silence - just being -
in an empty house without distraction;
with no need for "doing"...

I listen more deeply, and notice more;
like the ceiling fan, that's always been there,
creating a small breeze that caresses my skin.
(After all that's what it's for :))

I hear the sounds of nature merging with the
highway hum into one sound through the window
where I sit; and don't get irritated by 
a world of busyness breaking through the quietude,
sitting in the "aloneness" in the
inner wilderness of silence.

I breathe deeply into a deeper transcendent Silence within -
my comfort and solace.

I feel old...

When I catch my mirrored reflection
looking back at me...
I see an old woman in T-shirt and sweats.
(Well, fairly old :))
At least I still recognize her/me;
a shadow image of what I used to be...
With her old eyes, worn out body and bedraggled look...

I feel old...

When I have to pull out my deceased mother's old walker
from the closet to get to the bathroom at night,
easily losing my balance...

I somehow know I have begun
my end...

Unattached to physicality or self-image - yet still,
the reality of "endings" sets in...

I feel old...

Because the "spiritual questing" of my younger years
for "the truth", for the next "spiritual trinket", is gone.
(You notice I didn't say I'm "done." :))

Wanting only to rest in the Sacred Silence within;
that soothes this body and mind.

I feel old...

But I'm not ready for the rocking chair on the back porch,
although a hammock under the trees in the backyard 
would be nice - rocking to a melody by the Moody Blues
 while I watch the clouds and maybe even the stars -
knowing that even when
the owl calls my name
and this body is gone,
"I"
(well not "me" exactly, but you know what I mean)

"I" am still somewhere
in the Great Cosmos
that fills the space I leave...

Mystic Meandering
Aug 24, 2022

"In my end is my beginning" - T.S. Eliot

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Ruptured Reality - Pema Khandro Rinpoche

We are always experiencing births and deaths [and other significant losses].  There is something radical about these changes in our reality.  There is a total rupture in our 'who-am-I-ness', and we are forced to undergo a great and difficult transformation.

In bereavement, we come to appreciate at the deepest, most felt level exactly what it means to die while we are still alive.  These are the moments when gaps [or in-between states] appear, interrupting the continuity that we otherwise project onto our lives.  These interruptions in our normal sense of certainty are that state in which we have lost our old reality and it is no longer available to us.

Anyone who has experienced this kind of loss knows what it means to be disrupted, to be entombed between death and rebirth.  We often label that a state of shock [or fracture].  In those moments, we lose our grip on the old reality and yet have no sense of what a new one might be like.  There is no ground, no certainty, and no reference point - there is, in a sense, no rest.  In that radical state of unreality we need - not just logic, but something beyond logic, something that speaks to us in a timeless, non-conceptual way.

The more we learn to recognize this sense of disruption, the more willing and able we will be to let go of this notion of an inherent reality and allow that precious pot to slip out of our hands.  Rupture is taking place all the time, day to day and moment to moment; in fact, as soon as we see our life in terms of successive changes, we dissolve the idea of a solid self grasping onto an inherently real life.  We start to see how conditional 'who-I-am-ness' really is, how even that does not provide reliable ground upon which to stand.

At times like this, if we can gain freedom from the eternal grasping onto who I am and how things are - our default mode - then we can get to the business of Being.  Until now, we have been holding on to the idea of an inherent continuity in our lives, creating a false sense of comfort for ourselves...  By doing so, we have been missing the very flavor of what we are.

The cause of suffering can be boiled down to grasping onto [or believing in] a fictional, contrived existence.  But what does that mean?  If we really come to understand, then there is no longer even a container to hold together our normal concepts, to make them coherent.

Reality as we thought we knew it is disrupted; the game of contriving an ideal self is suddenly irrelevant.  We experience a disrupted reality, a direct experience of disruption felt at the core of our being.

When we suffer disruption, we find we just can't play that game anymore.  It's really about recognizing the value of giving up the game, which we play without even giving it a second thought.  But when we are severely ill, and we have to cede control over our own body to strangers, holding it all together is not an option.

There are times like these in our lives - such as facing death [or other losses] - when we are no longer able to manage an outer image, no longer able to suspend ourselves in pursuit of the ideal self.  It's just how it is.  In these times of crisis we just don't have the energy to hold it all together.  When things fall apart, we can only be who we are.  Pretense and striving fall away, and life becomes starkly simple.

The value of such moments is this:  we are shown that the game can be given up and that when it is, the emptiness that we feared, emptiness of the void, is not what is there.  What is there is the bare fact of being.  Simple presence remains - breathing in and out, waking up and going to sleep.  The inevitability of the circumstances at hand is compelling enough that for the moment, our complexity ceases.  Our compulsive manufacturing of contrived existence stops.  We're forced into non-grasping of inherent reality.  The contrived self has been emptied out along with contrived existence and the tiring treadmill of image maintenance that goes along with it.  What remains is a new moment spontaneously meeting us again and again.  There is an incredible reality that opens up to us in those gaps if we just do not reject rupture.

But what's underneath our experience of rupture?  If here is no inherent existence to hold on to, then what is the ultimate reality?  This unanswered question drives a lot of us.  If we don't know the answer, then life becomes a primordial anxiety...  The extent to which we know [experience] what's underlying everything - is the extent to which life becomes bearable.

In the raw, broken-open state, this place where we let go of all the games, there is actually a great sense of relief, a knowledge that we don't have to do that anymore, to be that.  There can be a feeling of getting to the heart of things, a juxtaposition [a reorientation] of real and unreal.  That's the beauty of not grasping onto inherent reality.  If we can find ways to disrupt our own habit of clinging to our continuity story, to just strip it all down, then what we find in any bare moment is creative, instantaneous playfulness.

Emerging from the [in-between state], we re-enter the flow of life...  A new kind of openness becomes available to us.  We have lost our delusions of our contrived self image and a secure and solid state of reality and value the pause of the [in-between] as it makes apparent the Silence that underlies everything - that makes all sounds more vivid, and clarifies the end that we will now be beginning...

Pema Khandro Rinpoche
Excerpt from - "Breaking Open in the Bardo"
article in Lion's Roar

with thanks to The Beauty We Love

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
(color digitally inverted)

 

Keep Turning the Page...

Life is always as it is:
the tragedy, the heartbreak,
illness and death...
Joy and sorrow,
the politics, and the 
games that they play - oye...

I am like an old house now,
not yet abandoned
by its inhabitant,
but creaking and
falling apart...

Yet, I'm not ready to
pack up my life and
move out...
But I grieve the loss
of health and energy,
motivation and strength,
dexterity and nimbleness,
mental acuity, and emotional
bandwidth - and -
a sense of "Aliveness."
Fatigued by constant
distractions on the superficial surface
of life, creating chaos and agitation
that weigh heavy on my heart...

And so I pause
at the Inner Gate,
entrusting myself to,
and communing with the
deep Inner Silence of Being,
breathing me,
until my time here is up,
while life keeps turning its
pages, going from one chapter
to the next...

I bow to Grace...

Mystic Meandering

Aug 18, 2022

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

LIVE!

LIVE!

Let go...

Let it all go:
Hopes for the future.
Regret for the past.
Expectations for the present.

LIVE!

Embraced in the space of
your Aliveness,
at the still point of
your Being.

With no conceptual scaffolding of belief
to hold "you" together...

LIVE!

Disappear in the Excitement
of the Infinite Dancing Heart...

LIVE!

Without requiring yourself to be
different,
without wanting to change
who you ARE...

LIVE!

Authentically...  Genuinely...

Emptied out of the way your
conditioned mind tells you
what your life must be...

LIVE!

Free yourself from your facades
and the attachments to
your patterns of perspective
that keep you safe, but confined...

LIVE!

Let go into the Cosmic Stream

that already carries you...

LIVE!

Trust the unfolding of the Fire in your Soul...

Mystic Meandering
Aug. 13, 2022

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Honoring Uniqueness - Matt Licata

...honoring the reality that we are not only connected, 
but also separate, with our own interiority, subjectivity, and ways
of making sense of our experience.  In spirituality, we tend to
emphasize connection, unity, and oneness, which are essential

dimensions of the human heart.

Alongside this, however, it's essential that we also recognize
the reality (and holiness) of experiences - [that] we each perceive
reality, the divine, and this world in our own unique ways.
We each fall to the ground in a distinct way, and behold the
beauty of the stars and the planets and the trees uniquely.  No one
can perceive, fall, or behold for us, or on our behalf.

While from a transpersonal perspective, we can speak about unity
and oneness, within the relative we are also differentiated and
wildly unique, each with our own ways of organizing our
experience.  Each with our own fate and relationship with the
divine, and with our own path to travel.  To dissolve these
differences into some homogenized spiritual middle does not
honor the sacredness of form.

Matt Licata
Excerpt from an article entitled: The Yoga of Intimacy and 
Relationship

~

  Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Epiphany - 2013

It seems that my "spiritual path" has been laced with small
"epiphanies" and "divine flashes" of awareness, and "mini
awakenings" over the years.  I had one of those moments
back in 2013 when standing in my backyard.  I had stepped
outside to be in nature for a while, connecting with the stillness
and silence - taking it all in - noticing and feeling the connection.
I was in the process of taking some pictures of the shadows 
that the late afternoon sun in November was making on the fence,
when suddenly the words: "There is nothing but 'God'" ran
unbidden and unexpectedly through the silence of my being.
Say what!  There was an immediate sense of profound peace,
contentment, and joy in my heart.  I even started to giggle to
myself.  But I was also completely shocked by the word - 
"God" - and my very tangible felt experience of it.

I had not used the "God" language in years, after leaving the
religion of my childhood some 26 years before this, as it holds
imagery of my Christian upbringing of a person in the clouds
with white beard, meting out judgment.  It has so many old
paradigms, somewhat fundamentalist "religious" connotations
from my past, which made it all the more surprising that this
was the word that floated through.  If the inner "voice" had said:
 "All there is, is "Awareness," or "Consciousness, " or "Pure Being,"
 I would have gone, of course! - as those are the words that I often

use, abstract as they are. I also have used words like Buddha Nature,
The Divine,The Self, Brahman, The Ineffable, The Eternal, or
The Infinite. But I was jolted awake by the clear use of the word
"God." As this phrase ran through me I had the image of a deep
golden light, like a sunset, that ran across the screen of my mind,
as if to show me the depth and vastness of the word.  As it wasn't
 the persona "God" image of my childhood.  No, it was an
 incomprehensible sense of vast, expansive, all-inclusive, infinite,
 ubiquitous, Alive Presence, with which I felt an immediate sense of
  inherent communion - not one which needed to be sought after,
 but that was already actively happening...  And with that
realization came profound sense of Grace...

It was also realized that it doesn't matter if there is a sense of
a "me" or "no-me"; if one "concentrates" or not, or meditates,
or not.  It is inconsequential.  It was just realized that all there is,
is Infinite Existence that just IS - no matter what name or
qualities we give It...  or how we discover it for ourselves.

_/\_

Mystic Meandering
2013

~

Art: Mystic Meandering
Ethereal Vortex
Done with fingers and Craypas oils
2010

 

The Dancing Cry of the Soul - Rumi

Come to me, and I shall dance with you
In the temples, on the beaches, through the crowded streets
Be you man or woman, plant or animal, slave or free
I shall show you the brilliant crystal fires, shining within
I shall show you the beauty deep within your Soul
I shall show you the path beyond Heaven.

Only dance, and your illusions will blow in the wind
Dance, and make joyous the love around you
Dance, and your veils which hide the Light
Shall swirl in a heap at your feet.

Rumi
Excerpt from: "The Dancing Cry of the Soul"

~

Photo from the internet

 

Inner Gate...

Dreading the entry into another day
I turn my attention to
The Great Mother once again
hoping She will companion me
through the veils that block my sight...

She didn't come last night in a dream,
nor leave me a message at the door of dawn.

Where did She go...
The elusive Companion of the Unseen;
the Comforter from the inner world...

The ease of living evades me...
Weariness fills my Soul...

I must enter through another gate - unknown...

I ask the Great Mother to meet me there...

But will She show...

I patiently wait...

at the Inner Gate...

For Her familiar Fragrance
to waft me through...

and I enter the day...

Mystic Meandering
Aug 13, 2022

~

Photo from Unsplash
Color digitally inverted

 

Sail Away - Fred LaMotte

No writing on your sail.
No affirmations, not even "I."
Just let it ripple
in the cool steady breeze,
this breath.

The sail itself is the name of the Goddess.
You can stop rowing now.
Let the current carry you.
Throw the map away, the chart
of nadis and chi lines,
chakras and postures.
Who knows where you're going?
Destinations don't matter anymore.
Just sailing is grace.
Merely breathing in this body
is adventure.
And the sparkling sun on living water?
The beauty that shines
from your heart.

Fred LaMotte
Uradiance
and photo of art too...

Art: Leonid Afremov

 

Time is Limited - Steve Jobs

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living
someone else's life. Don't be trapped by
dogma. which is living the results of other
people's thinking.  Don't let the noise of others'
opinions drown out your inner voice.  And 
most importantly, have the courage to follow
your heart and intuition.  They somehow
already know what you truly want...

Steve Jobs

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

Choice - Jeff Foster

Friend, please, do not try to decide now.  Do not shut
any possibility out of your heart.  Honour this place
of not-knowing.  Bow before this bubbly  mess of
creativity.  Slow down. Breathe. Sink into wonderment.
Befriend the very place where you stand.  Any decision
will make itself, in time.  Any choice will happen when 
your defences are down.  Answers will appear only
when they are ready.  When the questions have been
fully honoured and loved.  Do not label this place
indecision.  It is more alive than that.  It is a place
where possibilities grow.  It is a place where uncertainty
is sacred.  There is courage in staying close.  There is
strength in not knowing.

Friend, please know there is simply no choice now.
Except to breathe, and breathe again, and
trust this Intelligence beyond mind.

Jeff Foster

with thanks to No Mind's Land

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

A Sliver of Reality - Kim Manly Ort

Our experiences and consequently our perceptions, gives us
a limited view of the world, a sliver of reality, if you will.
It's a valid sliver, but only a sliver.  Thought of in this way,
It's a wonder any of us can find similarities of experience
and understanding with others...

I'm all about seeing clearly, but each of us sees clearly differently,
depending on our identity (selected experience) and worldview.
For the past couple of years, I've been noticing what others
choose to believe and asking why.  I'm not exactly sure what to do
with some of the differences I have have difficulty understanding
or even how to talk to someone with a completely different
worldview.  I certainly have my own way of seeing and I find
some worldviews mind-boggling.  However, it's always a good
idea to question your own sliver of reality.

The Role of "Chance"

The musician and composer, John Cage, thought of "chance" as
something that happened to us, but also as something you could
invite into your life.  Why would you do that?  Because, if you
operate according to your own will or our story of how things are
or should be, you eliminate possibilities.

Cage invited "chance" into his life and [art].  The idea was to give
his will, his wants, his desired outcome a break and let "chance"
make a decision.  By using what he called "chance operations", he
could destroy his narrative, his particular point of view.  It's not that
his point of view wasn't worthy, just that it was limited and there
were a multiplicity of points of view he many not have considered.
It's a mindset where he let things be as they are without imposing
his own judgments on them.

Life is a dance with "chance"; always uncertain, often out of our
control, and this is scary.  We can embrace it, as John Cage did.
Whenever we feel our ego or rigid story is in charge, or we're
resisting reality and forming judgments, it's time to get curious
and ask questions like: "How else can I look at this?" or "What
other choice could I make?"  Why not let things be, invite "chance"
in, and explore the many possibilities that arise.

Kim Manly Ort
Writer, Photographer, Workshop Facilitator

~

"Life is like a box of chocolates,
you never know what you're going to get."

Forrest Gump

~

Personal Note:  What John Cage and Kim refer to as "Chance" I call
"The Mystery."  Some call it "Spirit", or even Intuition; tapping
into something greater than my self for Inspiration...  My husband
sees each day as a new life experience that offers a portal to Eternity,
if we let it, even the mundane, like mowing the lawn.  Sometimes he
will randomly choose from a list of possibilities for the day, or do
what he feels drawn to do that day.  Is that "chance" or opening to
the Field of "The Mystery" - or his own Intuition?  He says:
Intuition is the mainline to "The Universe."  It's how "The Universe"
communicates.  It's the flow of awareness that comes from
"The  Universe."

~

John Cage (1912-1992) was an American composer, music theorist,
writer, philosopher, and artist.  Cage studied Indian philosophy and
Zen Buddhism in the late 1940's, and the I Ching was a source of
reference for him, using it as a "random chance generator", as well
as a philosophical reference.

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
Moon and reflection in skylight 
a portal to eternity? :)

 

The "Spiritual Journey" Is Unique - Matt Licata

The "spiritual journey" is by its very nature unique...
It must be explored by way of primary, first-person experience.

Contemporary spirituality is filled with all sorts of ideas and
concepts about what it means to be "spiritual" and we must
find the courage to question even the most sacred of these ideas,
trusting the path of direct revelation as we come to have more
and more confidence in our own unique experience.  There
are infinite number of ways to open to, touch and enter the
mystery, and the right way for us might look quite different
from others, even our "spiritual teachers."

At some point on our journey, we might hear a call to set aside
the beliefs, teachings and practices we've gathered throughout
our lives and rest.  This "rest" is not passive, cold or resigned
but lit up from within...  we open to a more paradoxical 
invitation that comes roaring out of thundering silence.  Just
what this is must be discovered by each of us in the fire of
our own direct experience.  We cannot take anyone's word
for it.

In this "rest" we are taken inside a dimension of experience
where we honor the entirety of what we are - [we are] drawn
to bring more awareness to this dimension of experience.
Something mysterious, magical, alive and sacred is wired into
this moment by its very nature and carries the fragrance of the
holy.

...something is granted permission and space to emerge - exactly
as it is.  We are invited into a deeper, richer exploration of the
dimension of the soul; re-entering the state of pure wonderment.

Matt Licata

From: A Healing Space:
Befriending Ourselves In Difficult Times

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Lessons of Life - Philip Jacobs

There are several lessons that I have learnt from my observations
of life, that I wished I had known from the very start.  The first
is that you can trust the process of life and it's unfolding.
So many times in my life journey, I have experienced deeply
traumatic events that I could not see the purpose of at the time.
These events have ranged from chronic illness and the loss of
those I love, and loss of home. Yet when I look back on the
events from a fuller perspective, I always see how they led to
deeper insight and creativity that I could not foresee at the time
and they also pushed me into where I needed to be in life.  It
was as if I had been seeing the world just through a letter box
and could not see the whole picture.  I have observed this so
often in life, which is why I now trust life's unfolding, even if
I cannot see or understand it at the time.

That leads to my second insight, which is that things never 
turned out the way I anticipate them.  When the future prospects
have looked very grim, at a certain point there has always been
an unforeseen intervention that makes the outcome quite
different from what I would have expected.

The third and most important of my life lessons, is quite
simply that I'm not who I think I am.  It's as if there are two
of me.  One identity I call "Philip." [my identity in time.]
  Philip is a man and an artist and does Philip things, like
designing textiles and looking for dinosaurs and Hiroshige
paintings. But behind Philip there is another identity that
quietly observes the ever changing drama of life, all without
comment. It was there when I was five and it's exactly
the same when I'm sixty five.  Compared to Philip,
this other identity is like the still depths of the ocean.  Like
the ocean it is totally still, even when a life storm rages on the
surface.  This other identity is also always unconditionally
happy.  Almost like happiness just shines out of it, and it takes
great delight in everything it encounters: people, nature, art,
animals, etc.  The art of life I've discovered is knowing that
your true identity is this much deeper unchanging sense of self.
It is necessary in life to play the "Philip" role, but at the same
time to have the background awareness that what you really
are is this great ocean of stillness, which in a strange way also
includes everybody and everything.

Sometimes when life is very difficult it is as if the curtain of
time parts and we become aware of the underlying mystery
that has been there all along.  This can also happen with great
beauty, such as when we look up at the night sky at the
vastness of the night sky.  It is as if the boundary between
"self" and "other" dissolves and we see that we are the whole
universe.

So when you are in the middle of the life dance and it seems
overwhelming, remember your real identity that is always
present as your safe place and true home and that is always
beyond trauma and illness.  It is even beyond birth and death.

Philip Jacobs
Sufi

with thanks to No Mind's Land

and photo too...