Come meander with me on the pathless path of the Heart
in these anecdotal,
sometimes inspiring, sometimes personal meanderings of the Heart's opening in the every-day-ness of life...

Saturday, December 31, 2011

A Heart Wish for the New Year...

May our hearts always be open
to hear
The Rhythm of Life’s Song.

May we see life through the eyes of wonder and curiosity…
May we dance with life intimately and creatively…
May we inspire each other to remember who we are in the core of our Being…
May we find contentment in just being who we are…
May we give voice to the song in our Hearts authentically…

And may we always
leave Love
in our wake…


This amazing photo was captured after our neighbor’s daughter
pulled away from the curb in front of her house and made a turn in the street -
leaving behind these 2 hearts…

I just *happened* to look out our living room window
and saw them. I grabbed the camera and ran upstairs
to get a better shot – just before they evaporated into the air…

I am grateful for all the traces of love that you all have left here…

Blessings of Love to you all in the New Year!

Friday, December 30, 2011

Winter Walk - "Hibernating Land..."

Frozen earth bound in time,
waiting for the thaw;
allowing flow and movement
to regain rhythm and rhyme…

Frozen streams of frosted glass,
crystallize the sun;
creating an opaque light

that illuminates the path...

The silence of the hibernating land,
speaks in loud whispers
through the firs,

as life still stirs -
while lying dormant…

Soul callers of the sky
fly in familiar formation,
following their
homing call;
unaffected by the
earth’s quiescent luminescence
of hibernation…

Mystic Meandering
From: “Hibernating Land”
originally written Jan. 1998
Revised Dec. 2011

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

"The Ineffable Mystery of Being"

Not much going on here, except a lot of family involvement with errands and doctor appointments this week; and trying to take my “twilight walks” each evening, which I hope to write about at some point. But nothing arises to be written, no inspiration visits. And yet there was the impulse to post this article by Rob Matthews, called, "The Ineffable Mystery of Being," that I read on Non-Duality Highlights more than two weeks ago. I so deeply resonate with what he articulately writes that really all I can say is: “what he said…”

What I have discovered through my spiritual practice is an
increasing self-intimacy...a sense of authenticity and real-ness,
that has become the cornerstone of my daily life. I cannot
imagine how I could have lived without this living presence
and sense of emerging fullness.

Our awareness is incredibly powerful at enabling the unveiling
of ourselves, revealing a fuller picture, illuminating our
experience, but only if we are willing and committed to
knowing the fullness of what we are.

I find as I continue noticing and encountering this awareness in
my life what comes into view is both particular and vast,
discordant yet harmonious, life sustaining yet challenging
and not necessarily easy. This active engagement demands
my courage and honesty, this is no walk in the park.

As I continue, the sense of congruence and authenticity begins to
sprout and this self-intimacy becomes the rule, in time. Although
it is not as though there is one mode of being, that of self-intimacy,
no, it is more like that a dance has begun.

This dance, fueled and enabled by the openness and desire of
wanting to know myself, is both exhilarating and liberating and,
as I develop trust in the unfolding, I soon begin to recognize that
any ideas or desires for Awakening need not concern me....it no
longer is of interest as my life has filled up with a delicious
fragrance of authenticity.

I no longer care for anything other than supporting what has taken
root within me…if the self concept or ego continues I don't care,
the teachers and teachings tell me this and that and I don't care,
life is its usual mix of struggle and strife, joy and love, and I no
longer care...why would I care when I know the golden key is within?

Why search for anything when the very fabric of experience is the
path of unfolding. Everyday experience reveals this once we get a
little more familiar with ourselves and stop trying to awaken, stop
meddling with our experience long enough to notice what is.

At some stage there was a key realization, one among many, when
I realized I can let go of all concepts about the teaching and just
feel comfortable in everyday experience without any framework
or concepts about how it ought to be. Is their a doer? Is there an
ego? Is there an awakening? Are we perfect? None of these
conceptual frames of reference are important. Instead I relax
and notice that all that stuff is just ideas about...
about the ineffable mystery of being.”

I too feel this sense of “self-intimacy, authenticity and realness” stirring, simmering deeply within, calling to me *from* within. And I am committed to listening to and following the call - *living* the call of deeper intimacy with Self – Beingness – “The Beloved” - Life, which I think is part of what my “twilight walks” are all about – allowing myself to experience this ineffable mystery of Being…

Note: I emailed the editor of Non Duality Highlights who posted this particular piece to see if there was a link for Rob Matthews. There was no response. Whoever he is, I thank him for putting into words what I feel in this heart…


I also found what I consider to be one of the simplest and clearest “definitions” of “non-duality.” It was spoken by Joan Ruvinsky in reference to the question “what is a non-dual retreat” – but her answer spoke to me in the broader sense of the word “non-dual”, and thus life itself. She says:

“Ultimately a non-dual retreat is where it is all welcome,
the fragmentation and the wholeness,
the confusion and the clarity.
It is a place where it is no longer necessary
to be spiritually correct…”

“Life has always been a spiritual practice
in its ordinariness – just happening -
just living it.
A simple silence underlies life happening -
the simple silence of the perfection
of things as they are…”

Joan Ruvinsky

Sunday, December 25, 2011

The Heart of Christmas...

We are the grace of Love fulfilled,
the shimmer of Sacred Light,
lustrous uniqueness in a field of
mutlitudinal Divine Shimmers
- autonomous, yet in glittering Oneness.

We are the twinkle of liberated luminosity
radiating from the Heart of Love,
within the Stream of Life,
in continuous unfoldment.
We are created, and create, from the glowing embers
of the magical furnace of Love’s Fire…

Receive the molten flow of golden translucence
that forms you in the fire of Divine Love.
Let Love infuse you in every micron of consciousness
- Golden Love turned fluid,
flowing incessantly from the Primordial Heart.

Recognize Love’s Presence, and Love’s presents:
Grace, Freedom, Truth, Wisdom,
Light and Love ~~~~~
Love of Love…
Love experiencing Itself as Love
in every breath,
in every form…

December 21, 2001
Mystic Meandering


Love and Gratitude

to all my blogger friends
who have meandered with me;
and to those readers
whom I have not met yet.
Your Presence and comments
are always appreciated here.


May we all remember the Light
that lives in our Hearts
beyond this Christmas night…

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Winter Walks...

I wanted to share these photos from some of my walks at twilight after our first Winter morning snow; plus some taken from out the windows… The words under the photos are excerpts from a poem called Silent Retreat© by Jamie Reaser. They are used here with her permission. You can read the entire poem in context and view her poetry at Talking Waters.


Sometimes you have to go
into the thick quietude

Because no one
can meet the curve
of your words…..

……only the snow knows
the story that is hidden
from the closed eyes
of the world.

This is a silent retreat

Go then, this way…

Far within the bear’s den
where you will
hear your beating heart…

Speak nothing of the Beloved

until the Beloved has

your name

Then you’ll know
is the only possibility.


Winter Blessings to all...

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Heart-Light Solstice


The eternal Light that has always been…
Light beyond light,


The unfathomable Light,
with the Luminosity
of innumerable suns,
and the Glow
of countless stars
coursing through you.


Living Light


in the
of your


Remember the Heart-Light
Listen to the Heart-Light

Winter Solstice 2011
Mystic Meandering


“Be a light unto yourself”
is reportedly part of the last words uttered
by Buddha before he died.
The words came to me while meditating
several times this week,
and the poem began to emerge.
I also noticed the candle
was in the shape of a heart.

I attempted to make each stanza of the poem
look like a candle, or candle holder, with a flame,
formed by the words, creating poetry art…
(use your imagination :)


Enjoy the Season of Light…

Sunday, December 18, 2011

What Lies at the Bottom of the Barrel...

I’ve been experiencing more of the “Winter Blues” lately. Have been feeling a bit melancholy, especially at twilight. I thought I hit the bottom of the barrel a week ago, but no, there was more, and it’s been very intense. So I had to look into the bottom of the barrel. There was something unexpected waiting.

Her visit wasn’t convenient; this being the Holiday Season and all where one is not supposed to be melancholy, dark, and sad – but joyous and cheerful. It’s not a switch one can just turn on, or off. Ho-Ho-Ho. I didn’t intend to feel this way. She just showed up unexpected one evening and stayed 5 days.

Sometimes she was felt as heartache – a longing for love; sometimes a wrenching gut feeling of the pain and grief of an undefined loss that felt like a crushing pressure. She was every memory of sadness as a child – that usually occurred at twilight - and losses of loved ones over the years – remembered at twilight. It was as if I was being emptied out of every painful feeling and experience from the past. As uncomfortable as it was, I stayed open to her. I knew deep inside she was a “guide from beyond”, as Rumi calls it, and so I welcomed her in each day, sat with her and listened.

It was revealed that “Melancholy” – this Divine Miss M - was really a deep longing for *living;* for engaging fully with Life!; for connecting with and experiencing love for life, communing with life *in* the living of it, and allowing myself to be *absorbed* by Life living me.

I reflected that life has primarily been a series of events, people, drama, crises that I have reacted to, struggled with, and against, and felt threatened by over the years – consequently missing opportunities to love; withdrawing sometimes instead from the harshness and difficulties of living, thinking there was something “better” in being on a “spiritual path.” But I recognized that I never fully engaged with Life! And now there is this impulse to fully engage – to creatively engage. There is a sense of urgency to *feel* life happening, to pay attention to life – in the waning years of life… The “how” has yet to be revealed.

After these insights, in sitting meditation, I relaxed and dropped into the Silence within, as I usually do. And in a fleeting moment I became inwardly aware of what lies at the bottom of the barrel. It was/ is “love.” I know that sounds trite. It’s not “love” as we have come to know it. It’s not the “in love” kind of love that oscillates and changes; or the sweet ooey-gooey kind of love that is just words that drop from the tongue and onto the floor, missing the heart. It’s “The Beloved’s Love” – a steady, equanimous, sustaining love that is always present, never wavering. This “love” that lies at the bottom of every experience, thought, feeling, emotion, physical function etc., can only be described as a spacious openness in which everything occurs. Love enfolds life within Itself; is in a sense, “in love” with ItSelf – how could it not be. And we are the animation of that Love - loving. It turns out that “melancholy” (as with any feeling) is a portal, a gateway to - Love.

I only touched on this love briefly, fleetingly. In trying to capture it with my mind it escaped from view. But for a brief moment I was aware that Love resides in the depths of living – feelings and all. And what a surprise it was one morning to cut into a tomatoe and find this heart deep inside! The “gift” from beyond. :)

Melancholy stayed 4 more days – emptying me out and opening me up. And Love merely *allowed* melancholy to be here, embracing her - until she melted away into the twilight - the space between the light and the dark…

The twilight keeps calling to me to open to the space where Love abides – to keep recognizing it. Now I go outside and walk at twilight - not with melancholy – but *feeling* life living. And in experiencing life intimately, I experience the spaciousness of Love that lies at the bottom of everything!

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival…

A joy, a depression, a meanness.
Some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all,
even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture.

Still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.


“the longing you feel for this love
comes from inside you…”

“Love is the cure.
For your pain will keep giving birth
to more pain
until your eyes constantly exhale love
as effortlessly as you body
yields to its scent.”


“Rumi tells us that the supreme secret of
the inner journey is the path of love.
If we can possess our whole heart
with contemplation of ‘The Beloved’
we will experience the wonders
and beauty of the universe.”

(I don’t remember where I got this :)

Monday, December 12, 2011

Twilight Moon...

Stand still.
The trees ahead and bushes beside you
are not lost.
Wherever you are is called Here…

…The forest breathes.
It answers…

I have made this place around you.
If you leave it,
you may come back again,
saying Here…

Stand still.
The forest knows where you are.
You must let it find you…

David Wagoner
Excerpt From: “Lost”
To read the complete poem click here

I walk the maze of moments,
and everywhere I turn to
begins a new beginning
and never finds a finish.

I walk to the horizon,
and there I find another.
It all seems so surprising,
and then I find I know –

Anywhere Is…

Lyrics from: Anywhere Is

Your great mistake is to act the drama
as if you were alone…

…To feel abandoned is to deny the intimacy
of your surroundings.

Surely…you have felt the grand array;
the swelling presence…crowding out your solo voice…

Put down the weight of your aloneness…
The kettle is singing
even as it pours you a drink,
the cooking pots
have left their arrogant aloofness
and seen the good in you at last.
All birds and creatures of the world
are unutterably themselves.

Everything is waiting for you…

David Whyte
Excerpt From: Everything Is Waiting For You…
To read the complete poem click here

“At some point there has to be a direct apprehension.
It’s about a visceral taste of this living event…

This is what “being in the Now” is all about.
When the focus on thought stories subsides,
the living happening reveals itself.
There’s just a happening happening -
shifting modulations of a great event.

Clear seeing…..simply reveals what is always
already the case.
It soon dawns that whatever is occurring
in whatever state
is nothing other than a modulation of Life’s creative play.”

Radical Tao

Friday, December 9, 2011

A Heart Opener...

These photos are so precious! We recently received them from an online friend, and I was so moved by them that I had to share them with you.

This is the short story that came with these pictures: Lily is a Great Dane that has been blind since a bizarre medical condition required that she have both eyes removed. For the last 5 years, Maddison, another Great Dane, has been her sight. The two are, of course, inseparable.

This was the caption at the bottom of the photos…

"People will forget what you said; People will forget what you did.
But people will never forget how you made them feel."


“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives
the most to us, we often find that it is those who,
instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures,
have chosen rather to share our pain
and touch our wounds
with a gentle hand.

The friend who can be silent with us
in a moment of despair or confusion,
who can stay with us in an hour of grief & bereavement,
who can tolerate not knowing,
not curing,
not healing,
and face with us the reality of our powerlessness,
that is a friend who cares…”

Henri Nouwen


You might also like to view
this wonderful
Heart warming video

click here.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Winter Blues...

I may have to rethink this “contemplative life” I *thought* I wanted to live. I like the *idea* of “contemplative living.” And yet, being housebound for 5 days with 3 snowfalls and arctic temps (unusual for here this early), left me anything *but* contemplative. The first 2 days were wonderfully restful and peaceful. I read, journaled, conversed with hubby - enjoying the quiet and companionship; and simply sat – in contemplative Silence. But by Saturday night I was restless, agitated, irritable, discombobulated, and down-right cranky. The “new” realizations of the fluidity of Life, from “the edge” last Wednesday, just flitted on through, and I was left empty; as if gutted by the cold. Frozen in this time bound reality again I found it hard to sit in the sacred Silence that used to be so comforting.

I wandered – unmotivated - a vagabond within my own mind – feeling out of place and out of sorts. I used to enjoy this snowy visitor. The older I get, the more I feel its icy edges permeating the “soul”, instead of illuminating it, as it used to do. I don’t recall experiencing the “winter blues” before. It was a different kind of visitor – a darkness from the dungeoned mind. Unable to settle, I searched for a spark of inspiration to light the embers that had cooled so quickly from standing on the edge of glory.

I scanned the book shelves for something inspirational – nothing appealed. I pulled Rilke’s Book of Hours down, reading the preface and introduction again. One line stood out: “Through the empty branches the sky remains.” Yes, I acknowledged - that is true – except it was snowy and dark, therefore I could not see the sky… But the meaning did not elude me – beyond the contraction of my perceptions, the expansiveness of Life is always there – waiting to be experienced.

Each day I took photos from the windows – none of them came out that well. One has to be out *in* life – experiencing it for a clearer view. My vision had become snowed in and frosted over.

Sunday afternoon I finally took the plunge and wandered out into the cold to take more photos… The cold hit my face crisply and felt good, exhilarating. There was my spark of inspiration – immersed in the experience. A simple movement on my part had changed the brain and the patterns of thinking, shifting the entire mental perspective - lightening the color.

“What happens in your mind
changes your brain.
And what happens in your brain
changes your mind…”

Buddha’s Brain

I’m reassessing what it means to be a “contemplative” – not that I need that label. In fact, I think I have romanticized it – imaging myself in monk’s robes – days in solitude – communing with “The Divine.” :) However, it evidently does not mean being cloistered somewhere between walls – especially the canyoned walls of the mind. Living contemplatively, it seems, is simply being immersed in and absorbed by the play of Life.

May Your Heart Fly Unburdened…

Monday, December 5, 2011

Snowy Visitor...

“Put a chair in the middle of a room.
Sit in the chair.
See who comes to visit…”

Ajahn Chah

In order to know Wisdom,
you must sit with Wisdom…

In order to know the Truth,
you must sit with the Truth…

In order to know the Heart,
you must sit with the Heart…

Mystic Meandering

Simply Sit…