Come meander with me on the pathless path of the Heart
in these anecdotal,
sometimes inspiring, sometimes personal meanderings of the Heart's opening in the every-day-ness of life...

Sunday, June 30, 2013

How Big Is Reality?...

“There once was a beautiful white swan
 that came from the great ocean to the North.
After being in the South for the winter,
 it was ready for the return journey home.
So it took off and with its big wing span
 and shining white feathers,
it soared effortlessly through the blue sky.
After a long while, and far along the journey,
 the swan began to tire and came down to land for a rest.
  It landed right on the edge of a water well
and let out a deep sigh.

In the bottom of this well there lived a frog.
The frog said,
’Well, who are you and where do you come from?’

‘I am a swan,
 and my home is on the water
 of the great northern ocean,’
answered the swan.
‘Ocean? How big is this ocean?’ asked the frog.

‘Very big’, said Swan.

‘Is it this big?’ Frog asked, taking two hops backward.

‘No, much bigger,’ said Swan.

So the frog took five huge hops backward, saying,
’Is the ocean this big?’

Swan said, ‘No, it’s much bigger than that.’

And so the frog went around the entire well -
his whole reality, as he knew it -
and asked the swan,
’Now, is the ocean as big as this?’

And the swan said,
’No, it’s much, much bigger!’

Thereupon the frog said,
’Well, you’re a fool and a liar!’
because he knew there could be nothing
bigger than his world and his well.”

Author Unknown…


How big is your Reality? J
I’m slowly climbing out of that well!


Photo: The inside of a large earthenware flower pot

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

We're All One Symphony...

This video is so inspiring!!!

We truly are all One in Essence...


Star Symphony

The Cosmos plays a continuous
Symphony of Silence
that only Stillness can hear.
We have forgotten the music of the
Celestial Songs,
the sound of the stellar Light language
of Love…

Our remembrance lies hidden deep in
the cave of the Heart ~ untouched.
Our unspoken language of the Heart
longs to be opened ~ awakened.

The dormant vibration calls for us to resonate
with the tones of Creation in the
Space of Silence,
in unified expression with
All That Is…

Listen deeply and hear
the Celestial Symphony
within the Stillness.
Follow the pulsing sound
into the vastness,
into Silence.

Find your resonance with the Rhythm
in your Heart ~ and know
we are all a tone of Love
playing our uniqueness in the
Chord of Life,
reverberating with the
Sound of Source…

Mystic Meandering
© August 1, 2001

Sunday, June 23, 2013

From "The Hood"

Yes, here is yours truly conked out for a couple of hours this morning after a day of yard work and cleaning yesterday - and not much sleep last night.  Thought I’d give you just a little peek into my world.  See my little fat foot sticking out… J   And yes, that is Eeyore, my guru, at my head, eyeing me, waiting for me to “awaken.”  Eeyore’s not the only one! J    It was a delightfully cool morning in the 60’s – a nice break from the 90’s that we’ve been having here.  A cool breeze wafted through the window along with the smell of wet earth (after watering the lawn the night before); and birds chirped and sang.  Snow White’s delight J  Apparently so wonderful that she slipped into Never Land… Or maybe that was deep Samadhi… A moment in time of pure Oneness - resting in/as Awareness…J

Shortly after hubby snapped the shot with a flash, she "awakened," as she - “saw the light!” J  lol

I took this one from “under the hood” through the fabric - from beyond "the veil"…

 Now for my afternoon nap…

I hope wherever you are
 this moment of Divine comedy
brings a smile to your Heart...

Friday, June 21, 2013

Let Yourself Dissolve...

“You are pure…

Nothing touches you.

Let it all go,
the body and the mind.

Let yourself dissolve…
 Like bubbles in the sea.

All the world arises in you.

Know you are the Self.
Know you are one.

Let yourself dissolve…

You are one and the same
In joy and sorrow,
hope and despair,
life and death…

You are already full

Let yourself dissolve…”

From the Ashtavakra Gita
Translation: Thomas Byrom

The Ashtavakra Gita
is a classical Advaita Vedanta Text

"Supreme  Reality alone exists,
the Pure Consciousness within
and beyond all finite forms of
the primordial,
Divine Energy...
They are not two."



A cut glass of water with the light of a candle
shining through behind it.
In a sense symbolizing the Infinite
within the finite...

I also saw that it created
a beautiful sunset reflected on water...
Can you see it? :)

A warm tribute to solstice,
and the radiance of Light that we are,
no matter what ocean
and which solstice
you celebrate :)

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

All Paths Lead "hOMe"...

“…our lives only make sense when understood as a sacred quest for the True Self.”
“…all human beings are born with the seed of Awake, Conscious mind.
“…this inborn seed of Consciousness will call to us, and, finally will
compel us on our pilgrimage to Awakening…”
”…the True Self for which we are searching
is also searching for us.”

Stephen Cope
Yoga and the Quest for the True Self
(caps are mine)
See an excerpt from his book here…

“The Self is like a powerful magnet within us.
It draws us gradually to ItSelf…
It is the [Divine] magnet
that is pulling us towards ItSelf.
Thus the process of finding the Self
is a form of Divine Magnetism.”

Ramana Maharshi


Contemplative Art:
All Paths Lead “hOMe”

(Unfortunately the photo
is not a good representation.
It flattens the textured look.)

I woke up Monday morning knowing I wanted to get back to painting again, not just the mandala art, but painting on canvas. I pulled out an old canvas that I had been working on last Fall, that I could not redeem.  It had the most awful bright orange color right in the middle of it (wish I had gotten a photo J) – you can still see specks.  WHAT was I thinking! Lol…   So I painted over everything with Green and Cobalt Turqoise – the orginal base colors.  The only form remaining was this cross-like form in the middle (formerly painted orange J).  My painting experience tends to be very visceral. So for whatever reason I started using my finger nail on the layer that I had just painted after it was partially dry, scratching at areas of paint, revealing an almost black layer below – giving the painting a textured, worn Patina-like look. (The top photo gives it more of a blue look, and doesn't really show the detail.) You can see it better in the close-up below.  I then painted the Gold OM/Aum in the middle - ancient symbol of the Infinite - as to what we are constantly being drawn to.

In contemplating this piece, it reminds me that we’re all oxidizing, we’re all returning to our original state of Being, not only physically, but even our sense of self/me is oxidizing - if we are on a path of "awakening."  The sense of "me" gradually wears away as we move into a greater awareness of Being.  No matter how many paths we’ve taken, or how well-worn our path may be, all paths still lead “hOMe” – to the Awakened Self, the Divine within that draws us to ItSelf…

Friday, June 14, 2013

Musical Interlude - Shadow Dancing...

With all this intensity this week I thought for those who are still hanging in there with me we could use a little playful pause. J  The video is Lindsey Stirling playing upbeat violin and dancing.  It is called “Shadows.”  

Enjoy your weekend!

Here’s a link to her most popular video that I posted back in Feb. 2012
It's called "Crystal" and was filmed in an outdoor ice castle in Colorado.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

So Hum Meditation...

This week I have attempted to “do what I need to do” to gain perspective and clarity and refocus my life - which btw does *not* mean I am abandoning my family, it just means I am choosing to relate to them in healthier, less dysfunctional ways, not succumbing to the family dysfunction.  I have said this every year, and here I am saying it again. J

I’ve started doing a contemplative meditation called So Hum.  I first heard of this Mantra years ago, but I recently saw the words again on Uma’s blog in a photo of her Ayurveda teacher, Dr. Vasant Lad, as he was teaching about energy flow and the breath.  So I explored it.  I started repeating it silently to myself during meditation times, and throughout the day.  “So” on the in-breath, “Hum” on the exhale – rhythmically – relaxing and surrendering.  It has had quite a profound effect on my sense of well-being and perspective.  My family no longer feels like a looming dark shadow suffocating me, but merely people playing out their roles and dramas in life that I can choose not to get entangled in.  And of course this perspective changes from day to day depending on my level of awareness. J  This does not mean that I do not feel compassion for my family, I just don’t want to be swallowed up by the shadow of their unconscious behavior.  I do not want to continue to be stuck in my own unconscious patterns with them, year after year after year.  Spiritually speaking - the way out of that is to become grounded in an *awareness* of the True Self, or Divine Nature.

So Hum is a Sanskrit phrase meaning, “I am That” – meaning we are Unified Consciousness, One with Divine Spirit.  Many of you who practice Yoga may be familiar with this, as many yogis use it in their practice.  According to the sources I checked on line, it is a meditation that focuses the thinking mind on the Mystery of Being and the *interdependent* (which is different than “co-dependent”) nature of all things, including each other.  It is said that in repeating the mantra you naturally begin to settle into a state of unified consciousness, communion with Divine Spirit and all life – opening up to life, rather than relating to life, and others, from a contracted place of unconsciousness.  It brings about the realization that you are the True Self, your Divine Nature, and that you are never separate from That, no matter what your “dysfunction.” J  In your unconsciousness you have just forgotten who you are because you have become entangled in life’s dramas.   In seeing that, experiencing that, you are able to open, stop the unconscious madness, and meet life and others in a more balanced and healthy way – with a sense of profound awareness, peace and love – reclaiming and living the innate Rhythm of Life…  That is my goal.

So Hum…


“Self is what you are…
You are That

Self is the Heart…
It shines to ItSelf,
by ItSelf,
in ItSelf.

Self is what gives breath to life,
you need not search for It.
It is Here.

Only Self is…

Knowledge of the Self is that which is worth
sacrificing anything for…

Identify as Consciousness ItSelf…
…do not forget who you are…”

excerpts from: The Truth Is


Photo: Star Mandala Zoom Blurred

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Do What You Need To Do...

“One day you finally knew
what you had to do,
and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice;
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles…

“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.

It was already late enough,
and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.

But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do -
determined to save
the only life you could save.”

The Journey
by Mary Oliver

Photo: Shadow of knive handles in a knife block holder.
To me it gives the appearance of an outstretched hand,
as if inviting me to follow…
PS: I am not suggesting anything morbid here!
Just thought the shadow was interesting...


I love this poem, and am letting it speak for me.
I know I have posted it before,
in fact in August of last year
when faced with family drama.
I’m apparently going in circles. :)

It seems appropriate to post it again
 for where I am now
and the pull I feel on my life -
as I go through another cycle of letting go
of the ego-centric dramas of my life
and fully awaken to the True Self…
Maybe this year… :)

Sunday, June 9, 2013

"Co-Dependency" Revisited...

It was pointed out to me recently that I have slipped back into an old pattern of co-dependency.  Oh dear…  What a realization that was! As much as I don’t like psychological labels and identities, it was still worth looking at. Many of you are old enough to remember that word from the 80’s when the “in” word was “co-dependent.” :)  Some of you may have been in elementary school :) and may be asking – what is “co-dependency”?  There’s a helpful book by Melody Beattie called Co-Dependent No More, written 26 years ago.  I dug my well-worn, highlighted and underlined copy out of the basement archives.

The realization came that it has been an insidious process of falling back into the realm of unconscious behavior in the family dynamic, being drawn into the Family Shadow.  It has been a gradual slide into unawareness, and unconscious patterns and roles again - trying to affect change in a family system that is unwilling and seemingly unable to change – at least unwilling to be aware that change is needed.  I had a strong sense of responsibility that *I* needed to *do something* about this dysfunctional person, this dysfunctional family system, to once and for all get “us” to “work,” to “heal”, to at least “communicate honestly.”  I had forgotten that it is not about trying to control or change the “other” person, or their behavior, but it is always about taking responsibility for oneself…  It didn’t occurr to me that I could just let go and let it be what it is – and be okay with that.

In this insidious slide I became emotionally entangled – trying to “help”, to “rescue” – code words for control.  The more “helpless” I felt the more reactive I became, trying to control that which was totally out of my control – my family, and our dysfunctional behavior.  In the process I became chronically reactive, frustrated and angry because I couldn’t rescue or fix “them.”  I felt more entangled in the drama of their emotional needs – with phone calls that became one-sided venting sessions.   I became resentful of the emotional enmeshment, of accommodating, of feeling helpless and controlled by the dysfunctional system.  It was a feeling of being at the end of someone else’s emotional leash all the time - a big warning sign that something was amiss.  In all of this I had clearly lost a sense of awareness of the Infinite Being within, and became even more identified as the little “me” person – struggling to find resolution, grasping at straws to see which one might work.

I ask myself, how could I have become so unconscious, so lost in all of it!  Why could I not just have opened my heart and be a presence of Love?  Wouldn’t that solve everything?   I had confused “love” and “spirituality” with always being available, accommodating and “helpful” – also called enabling :) - trying to control the situation by offering unwanted advice and suggestions in my attempt to be “responsible” – ultimately to soothe my own sense of helplessness.  I allowed myself to be put in the middle, creating a triangle - feeling like a ping pong ball emotionally, not wanting to take anybody’s side, but wanting to be “supportive.”  Or so I told myself, unaware of my own dysfunction!   As Byron Katie has said in Loving What Is, I was getting into their business, focused on how they *should* be.  Her book really addresses this issue although she doesn’t call it “co-dependencey.”

I have known, conceptually, for a long time that you cannot save someone from their life experience; you cannot change someone else’s behavior, minbd-set, or view of reality.   And you can’t ever make the dysfunctional person/s happy.  But neither should you have to walk on egg shells around that person, in fear of making them mad.  Now I have to put this renewed awareness into practice and learn all over again to step back, to detach, to take myself out of the middle and let each one take responsibility for themselves and let them experience the impact of their own consequences; setting internal boundaries again, not allowing myself to get entangled in the family drama.  I think this is why it bothered me when The Fence came down between our neighbor, as it symbolized that I was still attached to a sense of self that felt vulnerable, needing protection.  It reflected an internal process that was being played out in my daily life.  “The Universe” was giving me signals that it was time to awaken, to see what was happening…  So I’ve been listening - trying to stay grounded in the Inner Being through meditation, continually coming back to what is truly Awake and Aware within me that could see beyond all this dysfunction, that was totally unaffected by all this, even as my ego-self suffered on the surface.

As has been said many times by many a “spiritual person/teacher” – there are no “spiritual by-passes.”  One must look at themselves honestly, and do the emotional work they need to do to be free.  The “spiritual path” seems to be a catalyst for raising these issues that need to be addressed so that we may be free from our psychological and emotional entanglements; free from our identification with the ego-self – the root issue.  Actually I think that is ultimately what “enlightenment” is:  Being free from the entanglements and identifications that keep us from being awake and seeing the Truth of who we really are underneath all the patterns and roles that keep us from living freely, from realizing our True Nature.

Stay tuned.  I will be writing more on this journey of awakening and unfolding - the journey of opening the True Heart…  It is time…

Photo: Reflected light on the TV screen

Friday, June 7, 2013

Medieval Mandala...

When I started creating the design for this mandala the *idea* was for something that looked like Cathedral Windows, but I had no idea it would turn out like this! - looking like something from a Renaissance Festival! lol  I wanted a warm glow and the old fashioned tudor style window, which actually looks more like a medieval castle window – hmmmm.  I wonder where in the psyche this one emerged from! lol…

I’m not sure I like this one, although in a strange way it appeals to me. And the process of creating it reminded me that life, like art, doesn’t always turn out the way we had envisioned – it unfolds the way it needs to.  There are sometimes dark places that one must traverse that transform us.   Light gets through as we learn to embrace the dark…   As we open, and become receptive to life as it is, something lets go, the form transforms – and...

Zoom Blur - radiant light and fluid energy emerge that was there all along – a true Renaissance!
Notice what appears to be candle flames and chalices… :)

pours light
into every cup,
quenching darkness.

The proudly pious
stuff their cups with parchment
and critique the taste of ink

while God pours light

and trees lift their limbs
without worry of redemption,
every blossom a chalice.

Hafiz, seduce those withered souls
with words that wet their parched lips

as light
pours like rain
into every empty cup...”



Top Photo: The right side came out darker
and a little blurry because the
light was uneven.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Existence Unfolding...

“…Existence is just unfolding out of Itself
 spontaneously, naturally, unplanned.
Similarly, your true life unfolds in the same way…
start enjoying the cosmic play…”

“And I, infinitesimal being,
drunk with the great starry void,
image of mystery,
felt myself a pure part of the abyss.
I wheeled with the stars.
My heart broke loose on the wind…”

Pablo Neruda

“…the timeless dimension of our Being
is awaiting realization.”

Photo: Windows Into Infinity Mandala
Rotated and Zoom Blurred