As I awoke one morning recently, it came to me in my
half sleep that I had to accept death...
That my current life experience may be the
beginning of my end -
and that I need to accept that...
My body and mind immediately relaxed...
I get that it's not about getting my life back, as I have been
wanting, but about accepting the impermanence of my life;
of everything basically, including this particular life
circumstance; my *ideas* about how life is supposed to be,
or recovering my life, restoring it to what it was before...
I've heard this all before,
through different spiritual traditions,
but this time it came from within
and was organic,,,
It's about accepting impermanence,
accepting death; death of ways of life,
death of beliefs, death of ways of being,
death of the body...
Not trying to recapture, or restore everything
to the way it was - so that I can "finish" my life...
But letting go of the idea that Life has to be/go
a certain way...
There was great *relief* in realizing this
- a profound acceptance of reality...
I felt freed of everything that has bound me:
ways of thinking, perspectives, feelings about life...
And also realized that I have been resisting the little
deaths in my life - the changes that create disruption.
*Everything* changes, *everything* dies,
that is - changes form; form transforms itself
continuously...
It is the natural way of life itself;
it *is* the reality.
I'm going to die (my body that is) at some point and
maybe this life circumstance is just the
precursor to that,
the doorway to that...
But I keep trying to make this current experience
change, to stop in some way - resisting it -
when in reality it is an opening.
I was almost euphoric,
because changing my perspective means the end of
suffering, struggle, trying to make things happen, trying
to have a "spiritual" perspective about it all,
trying to find a way *out* of my experience...
(although this shift is gradual, as I discovered)...
Everything is impermanent, transient...
I'm accepting (ongoing) that reality...
Mystic Meandering
Sept. 8, 2024
~
Photo - Mystic Meandering