Come meander with me on the pathless path of the Heart
in these anecdotal,
sometimes inspiring, sometimes personal meanderings of the Heart's opening in the every-day-ness of life...

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Life Breaks Through...

“There is a brokenness
out of which comes the unbroken,
a shatteredness
out of which blooms the unshatterable.
There is a sorrow
beyond all grief which leads to joy
and a fragility
out of whose depths emerges strength.

There is a hollow space
too vast for words
through which we pass with each loss,
out of whose darkness
we are sanctioned into being.

There is a cry deeper than all sound
whose serrated edges cut the heart
as we break open to the place inside
which is unbreakable and whole,
while learning to sing.”

Rashani Rae – 1991

Friday, April 19, 2013

Infinite Cosmic Waves Mandala...

The Silence of the Great Void
that appears as an empty chasm
connects us
to the Infinite Cosmic Waves of Love…

We are the face of
”The Divine”,
the face that lights our face,

The Infinite Cosmic Spirit
echoes our face
before we are born…

We are loved beyond measure

When we know this
we will heal…

Meditative Writings
Mystic Meandering
April 2013


“Face that lights my face,
you spin intelligence into
these particles [that] I am…”



This Mandala was made with compass and templates.
The profiles in the center circle were made from a bookmark
shaped like the crescent moon.
The waves in the larger circle were from a wave template.

Sunday, April 14, 2013


In meditation last week the word “sanctuary” arose in answer to a question of “what is needed?” with all the emotional chaos and over stimulation that I have been experiencing in life lately – like the last 3 years J.  And since I won’t be packing up and moving to a monastery any time soon, I wondered how I would “create” this emotional and physical sanctuary that was required for my well-being – not as an escape, but as respite.  As synchronicity would have it, dear hubby was going to be out of the house on Friday and Saturday for several hours each day.  At the time I thought I would use this time to catch up on some cleaning.  Instead, Life required “sanctuary” and I knew it as soon as he left.   As I shut the door behind him, I felt an immediate call to Sacred Silence – the refuge that truly nourishes my Heart. 

I went to my meditation space, lit a candle, burned incense, rang a bell and sat.  Breathed – and settled.  I relaxed into the inner Silence that enlivens this being – my true Sanctuary.

I began to notice body sensations – the remnants of anxiety and depression: heaviness and tightness in the gut, chest and throat; the foggyhead, the aching muscles from left over guardedness.  And vestiges of the mental gymnastics that keep me bound to living on the surface of life.  I felt sadness emerge from the depths again in waves, and acknowledged its presence.  It rose and dissipated with recognition.  In “Sanctuary” everything is allowed and embraced, seen and acknowledged:  fear, anxiety, anger, depression, sadness, even happiness and joy, as the Presence of Silence envelopes it.  In “Sanctuary” they are only waves upon the deeper Ocean of Being.

In the “Sanctuary” of inner Stillness I asked: What is the deeper need?

I listened deeply for the Voice of Silence that always whispers the Truth.

“Sanctuary" was the reply once again.
"Rest in the inner Sanctuary,
aware of everything:
thoughts, feelings, sensations, body;
the pulse of Silence, and
the Rhythm of Life running through it all."

I relaxed deeply, held in the unborn, pre-existent, ever flowing, ever fluid, ongoing Infinite Now - the ground of our being - that comsumes the past, present and future; experiencing the felt sense of Presence once again – “Sanctuary.”

“Sanctuary” is a place of deep nourishment, embraced by pure Presence.  It is a place to incubate, to open to the depths of Reality and and explore the Eternal Now.  It offers an invitation to turn around, to return to the inner cosmos of Being; to collapse the mind, the self, and let go of conceptual reality, experiencing what is Real – the Isness of Being ItSelf – Primoridial Existence  - simply Being.

“Sanctuary” is the internal Stillness of the peaceful contentment of a tranquil heart and mind in tune with the Cosmos.

“We must get back into relation,
vivid and nourishing relation to
the cosmos and the universe…
For the truth is,
we are perishing for lack of fulfillment
of our greater needs.
We are cut off from the great sources
of our inward nourishment and renewal,
sources which flow eternally in the universe.”

DH Lawrence

Indra's Net of Jewels Mandala
digitally radially blurred...
Magic! :)

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Small Nourishments for the Heart...


“Not the ones speaking the same language,
but the ones sharing the same feeling
understand each other…”


Saying YES to Feeling

“In the willingness to feel,
there is healing.
In the choice
not to closet,
cast aside
deny experience,
energy is freed,
and I dive deeper into life.

To be fully alive is saying
yes to a wide array of human feelings.
When I soften, release and breathe,
I discover I am more than
what I think, feel, reason,
or believe…”

Danna Faulds
Excerpt from “Willingness”
Go In and In

Listening To Your Heart Song

“Hiding in this cage
of visible matter
is the invisible

Pay attention
to her…

She is singing
your song.”



Photo #3
Taken from outside a
basket looking in
through the weave...

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Breakthrough - Acceptance and Awareness...

I’ve been hidden behind a cloud of depression the last couple of weeks.  Dealing with an aging body that doesn’t allow me to do the things I once did with ease; dealing with family dysfunction that tends to keep life in constant chaos, like an undertow of unconsciousness pulling me under; and just the challenges of everyday life with its distractions that keep pulling at me – resisting the pull…

Last week I returned to a regular sitting meditation practice that became part of the breakthrough.  Sitting in meditative Silence without agenda, bringing awareness to what is Aware within, is healing.  Not needing life to *go* a certain way, or needing to *do* something about the way life is going; not needing to *react* to life, but resting in the inner space of Silent Awareness.  Unless one has experienced this deep Awareness of Being, it is hard to explain, and sounds rather boring, maybe even anxiety provoking to sit in the space of Silence.  But it does make a difference.  You become aware of an aliveness in the Silence that speaks, that has rhythm, that is aware.  A recognition arises that you are that Silence, that Awareness.  And you realize that it is this Pure Awareness/Consciousness – the One Reality - that is living us and what we call “my life.”  I must be reminded of this all the time.  It is the mind that keeps dragging me into the shadows of unawareness and non-acceptance, where I beat myself up.

This morning, as I was waking, the words “accept life” came to me.  Really!? J Where have I heard that before! J  Another breakthrough.  Yes, of course!  I was excited as I began to feel “acceptance” for life welling up within.  The cloud started to lift.   I had in mind that I would get up and do my “normal” routine, then meditate, start a mandala, read, do laundry, and maybe do the budget – with acceptance of course - maybe.  Instead, I was distracted by a rather lengthy conversation with my husband, reading inspiring blogs, and unexpectedly wrote this blog post!  I did eventually sit in silent meditation late in the afternoon. J But the day unfolded completely different than I had anticipated.  The mind said: “I should have done such and such…”  Acceptance said, all is as it should be.   

Acceptance is not new, of course.  This is what most great Spiritualities teach – Acceptance and Awareness – the keys to living freely and peacefully…   In seeing life as a distraction, or only seeing the distractions in life that keep *me* from what I *think* I really want, anger and frustration arise - daily, which led to depression (anger turned inwards).  I was identifying with the small disgruntled, unhappy “me”, unaware of the Spacious Awareness of Being that accepts life as it is in a fluid dance of living.  I had forgotten how to dance with life.  It seems for me to be an ongoing process of revelation.

In becoming aware and accepting there was a sense of release and freedom, a sense of anticipation, not expectation, about life without dread of what the day would bring. In Meditative Silence one begins to see life more holistically; that life just is the way it is.  From the space of meditative Awareness there is acceptance and allowing for everything – including depression – that needs to be brought into daily living.  And, I am once again reminded that it’s how we *see* life that makes the difference - the perception.  That too is a key to staying open and aware to what life offers us.

“Think in ways you never thought before.
If the phone rings, think of it as
carrying a message,
larger than anything you’ve ever heard…

When someone knocks on the door,
think that he’s about to give you
something large:
tell you you’re forgiven,
or that it’s not necessary to work all the time,
or that it’s been decided that
if you lie down
no one will die…”

Robert Bly
excerpt from Morning Poems

Who’s knocking at your door?
What message is life bringing you
disguised as a distraction, as depression,
as frustration?
You might be surprised!
Knock, Knock…

Monday, April 1, 2013

Indra's Net of Jewels Mandala...

Why I am drawn to drawing mandalas, I don’t know.  I especially like the precision and symmetry of sacred geometry; how the language of symbols and patterns come together.  It’s a mystery, like the Cosmos itself… I have started working on black paper, and I think I like it. :)

As I was working with this mandala, a net-like image started to evolve.  It brought to mind Indra’s Net of Jewels.  Although I had heard the term before, I really didn’t know what it meant, so I had to look it up.  An article on Indra’s Net has a good explanation for those who aren’t familiar with it. 

Essentially it is a metaphorical symbol attributed to Buddhism and Hinduism/Advaita Vedanta about the interdependence and intereconnectedness of the infinite cosmic matrix of life itself.  Each jewel at an intersection point on the net reflects the essence of all the other jewels, reflecting the same basic nature, mirroring how we each intrinsically reflect and affect each other in a ripple effect in the cosmic network all the time.  

The symbol in the circle in the middle is a variation of the Sanskrit symbol for Aum (OM), which is the primordial sound of the Universe that emanates from an infinite cosmic vibration out of the Void, or Emptiness.  It is basically represents the Absolute, or “God”, or the originating Life Force – however we each call that inherent essence of Being…


“You must be ready to accept
the possibility that there is a limitless
range of awareness for which we now
have no words;
that awareness can expand beyond
range of your ego, your self,
your familiar identity,
beyond your notions of
space and time,
beyond the differences
which usually separate people
from each other and
from the world around them.”

The Tibetan Book of the Dead


“Ultimately there is light and love and intelligence
in this Universe.
And we are it.
We carry that within us.
It’s not just something ‘out there.’
It is within us
and this is what
we are trying to
re-connect with -
our original light,
love and intelligence,
which is who we are.


(A Tibetan Buddhist nun)