Come meander with me on the pathless path of the Heart
in these anecdotal,
sometimes inspiring, sometimes personal meanderings of the Heart's opening in the every-day-ness of life...

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Musical Interlude - Just for Fun!

I found this delightful music video filmed in the “Ice Castles” in Silverthorne, Colorado,
just 2 hours from Denver in ski country.

It’s whimsical and magical.
A Celtic pixie violinist
named Lindsey Stirling.
Thought it would a great way
to end leap day…

Pardon the pop-up ads
and the promo at the end.
It’s delightful anyway,
especially if you’re a snow lover. :)

May your Heart dance!

In case the video doesn't play here
this is the link:

click here

Monday, February 27, 2012


To *be* Love is to be vulnerably open
to everything as it is;
to chose to stay open
to life as it is…
to open to this eternal Love
that holds

…which is totally scary
to this fledgling lover of Life
that I am…

Mystic Meandering
Journal Notes - Sunday

Life is the art of drawing without an eraser...
Erasing any of it would destroy the
total experience…

a friend…

Every experience in life is an invitation
to awaken into an Awareness
of the
essential nature of Reality -
and who we really are…

Metta Zetty

“…you have forgotten
again and again
where you come from,
where you are meant to return…


Drop the distractions
and head home.
The door is open

Go in…

Deeper and deeper

…take refuge there…

This is not a time
of sorrow,
but of gratitude…”

Mirabai Starr
excerpt from
Extravagant Stillness

Friday, February 24, 2012

Back to the Bare Bones...

Lately I’ve been feeling a need to get back to the basics in my “spiritual practice” – back to the bare bones. There is a sense of needing to clear the plate of old paradigms to make way for a clearer way of seeing and being. And - I’ve also been experiencing what I have been calling “depression” off and on for the last few weeks, or as the “Advaitin and contemporary non-dualists” say – depressing is happening… Probably as part of this clearing away…

“Depression” is a strange bedfellow, it can be many things. And I don’t treat this lightly. Sometimes I know her as melancholy, sometimes as heartache, and sometimes an overwhelming oppressive wave of molasses that pulls me under. I never know when she’s going to arrive, or in what costume, or when she’ll leave, nor specifically what it is about. Mostly it’s just kind of this nebulous feeling of deep sadness and longing in the heart. It shows up unexpectedly and stays a while, much like the other feelings that just show up – but I don’t notice them so much when it’s joy or happiness – only the “troubling” ones stand out and grab my attention. When I feel joy or happiness, or peace, I don’t think. Gee this is odd, I must do something about this! No, I am delighted that they came to call and think all must be right with the world or with myself *because* I *feel* “happy”… They reinforce the illusion that this personal “me” has done something “right” and is therefore happy – and therefore I feel the pressure to always be “happy“, to be optimistic – to get rid of “depression” so I can live up to my “happiness” , and start to believe I *deserve* to be “happy” all the time. When the Buddha said that the goal of life is to be “happy” I don’t believe he was talking about head over heels in love kind of happy, but internal “contentment” with life, which is a state of Being that never changes – that doesn’t come and go…

But – depression - well, it comes and goes – like all the other feelings do. It makes “me” (this little me) feel all wrong with the world and myself – unhappy, alone, sad. It’s quite dense actually – like a heavy hand gripping the heart with a pressing pressure – causing a heartache. But what is this heart aching *for*? You’d think with my husband’s new job there would be a sense of peace, optimism, even happiness. But no, a heaviness of heart pulls me deeply inward like a weight… I suspect it has something more to do with an internal orientation to life and being, than the externals of life circumstances – although that’s some of it too - clearing the underbrush of some heavy emotional burdens and beliefs that I’ve been unconsciously carrying for so many years around our life circumstances… And just maybe my husband’s recent return to work allowed all this to emerge…

“Non-dualisms” didn’t work - like: “There is no one here to be depressed.” Okay - so then why am “i” depressing, “i” asked my Self. Or - “i” do not exist – according to non-dualists - so how could “i” be depressed? So “*who* is depressed” then, who is depressing? Non-dual conundrums that keep me in my mind. Ahhh - maybe it is the mind, I thought… So I tried to convince the mind that it was only its thoughts, its beliefs, it stories that were causing this depressing feeling. The mind bought it for a while and then went back to its job – “depressing” – pulling me more deeply in… Even though I *know* intellectually that it is the *personality* of the mind that depresses, and that behind the little me-self personality that feels empty, full of insecurities, doubts, and depression is the Truth – the bare bones Truth of authentic Beingness that we are at the core… But the intellectual knowing didn’t help either… It has to be deeply *known* at the core…

So I sat, journal in hand, as is my style, and said – okay – here I am – show me who you are, show me where you want to go. I followed her inwardly, to see what she would reveal. I saw that she was a thread that ran all the way through my life that I hadn’t seen before– well more that I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge before. She was a golden river that ran through every phase and chapter of my life that held a familiar deep longing in the heart at every turn and bend – a longing for the Truth, somehow misconstrued as “depression”... Interesting that it was golden, not something dark and sinister…. There was no monster lurking under the surface. She took me down the rabbit hole, in a good way, allowing me to come face to face with my delusions… She helped me to see that my life has been a fantasy of distorted characters, stories and feelings that I have become attached to, and have gotten lost in, confused between what is Real and what is fantasy. I recognized that I had identified with the *feeling*, with the *personality* who *feels* depressed, empty, lost, wounded, separate from ones true identity.

Following the thread, I realized that “depression” was really my Heart calling. It was an invitation to follow the lifeline of the feeling all the way back to the Truth that lies beyond the feeling - all the way back to the bare bones Truth at the Heart of Being; which does not mean that by seeing this that “depression” left. Oh no. She’s still a companion, shadowing me on the road here. But it was seen that she’s not who I am. I had mis-identified myself *as* the shadow. In truth, she is a thread of love clearing an opening in my heart, calling me back to a direct encounter with the bare bones Truth…

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Who Are You.....Really?

I found this beautifully inspiring video...

It was words I needed to hear,
to Remember…
May they inspire you too…

Video by: Kosi
The voice is Gangaji

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Oh Deer! Oh Deer!

Last night we were at my Mother’s and Sister’s for late dinner and a movie… I went prepared for the unexpected – meaning I took my camera hoping that we would see the herd of deer that have been showing up almost every night since last Summer. We have never been there to witness this beautiful spectacle showing up in the small backyard. They evidently stroll through this densely packed residential neighborhood looking for food – eating whatever is available – usually birdseed, if my sister has forgotten to bring the bird feeder in, or at times carrots or bread that have been left out for them. They enter the backyard through one side yard, and exit through the other.

Last night we were gifted with a visit by these skittish, gentle beings at about 7:10pm. They were only about 10 feet away. They have been known to also show up at all hours of the night in herds of 3-7.

I am sorry that the photos aren’t clearer. I took them through the sliding glass door that had the screen in it – with only the back flood light on. Plus they move their heads so quickly, and my little Kodak doesn’t have one of those rapid shutter functions. But I wanted to share this magical moment with you, so I sharpened them up as much as possible. There were only 3 in this herd; a mother and her 2 little ones, who managed to stay out of camera range. So these are photos of the mother. As they passed out of the back yard, around the side, I went out on the front porch to watch them pass by, talking to them gently as the two fawns stood behind the bare branches of a lilac bush watching me, while the mother continued on, briefly pausing and looking over her shoulder…


Who me?!

You want what?

I'm all ears...

Really? Are you sure?

Could you repeat that...


Thursday, February 16, 2012

Winter's Whimsies...

“Regard everything as transparent.
See through everything.

See that everything is in transition.

Liberate your concepts and beliefs.

Let go of the need for an “answer”,
a solution, a resolution…

Rest in the nature of Essence ~
The Primordial State of everything.

Be a child of fantasy.
Be curious instead of afraid…”

Quotes from Pema Chodron

When you can let yourself
really be
who and how
you are…
No one else
will have much
problem with it…

Practice letting yourself just BE!

Robyn Posin
For The Little Ones Inside

All life moves in cycles…

What has been
must often come apart
before what is to be
can come together…

Remember to honor
your courage
in the midst
of the
coming apart times.

Robyn Posin
For The Little Ones Inside

“What if we could really see the world
without a sense of separateness?

We must see what lies beyond
the perception of polarities…

Individuals are indivisible...
We are all “connected” through
our spacious Awareness…

Awareness is not about labeling different
”takes” on reality.
Awareness allows all ways of seeing to exist...
If you are rooted quietly in Awareness
you are fully aware of
the whole picture…”

Ram Dass
Be Love Now

“…..the deepest level of communication
is not communication, but communion.

It is wordless…

It is beyond words,
and it is beyond speech,
and it is beyond concept.

We discover we are already one.
But we imagine that we are not.

What we have to be
is what we already are…”

Thomas Merton

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Love is a Bowl...

“This is Love…

Simple, bare awareness
that is already open,

An honest,
to be
the whole
tidal cycle
of our

moment by moment…

Allowing the entirety
of our experience to sit
in a bowl

…a spacious
of all
that is…”


With gratitude to Genju at 108zenbooks
for these beautiful words that I used from
her post “Love”
to create this poem…

Please see her post
for the full context
and a wonderful practice
in awareness…

We are all held in the bowl of the Heart!
Love to all my wonderfully wise
companions on the Road…

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Embrace The Sky...

The longing of your Heart is there to draw you in…
It’s the longing of the Heart for that which is true,
pure, innocent, whole,
and alive within you -
The Beloved…

It is the longing for the embrace
The Beloved,
Pure Awareness

It’s the call of The Beloved,
the pull of the Heart…

Follow the call
the Vastness
of Being…

Embrace the Sky…

Mystic Meandering
Meditative writings

When the Heart opens
nothing else matters:
”duality, non-duality,”
distinctions between
Maya and The Real…

When the Heart opens,
there is just the simplicity of
seeing that there is only Love
that lives beyond the veil of “me.”

Mystic Meadnering
Meditative writings

Let peace work on you
and enable you to gather
your scattered mind
into the mindfulness
of Calm Abiding.

You will find
that disturbs
like a mist
into the vast

Nyoshul Khenpo Rinpoche
Tibetan Lama

To be at complete rest
within the Awareness of One’s True Self
is silent Joy…

Mystic Meandering
Meditative writings

Effortlessly Love flows…

Like a bird
Who rivers the air
without moving
her wings…

Thus we move in the world.
One in body and soul
though outwardly
separate in form…

As Source strikes the notes
Humanity sings…

Spirit is our harpist…

And all strings which are touched
in Love
must sound…

Mechtild of Magdeburg
Medieval Mystic

You are Love, and loved beyond measure.
When you know this you will heal.

Feel Love’s Embrace…
Feel Love’s Joy…
and play
in the

Mystic Meandering
Meditative writings

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Ice Prisms...

There is innocent wonder
in the


what keeps you

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Light Movement...

I thought it would be interesting to post this sequence of a sunset that I took last week to show the changes in the light and color as the sun slipped behind the mountains…

To be witness to the movement of Light as it crosses an imaginary threshold is amazing. I never noticed before that the light becomes more brilliant *before* it diffuses; changing color and hue as the light bounces off the clouds. I know there is a scientific explanation for why this happens :) But I am a mystic – I see things poetically and metaphorically - so bear with me…

In watching the light wane into its brilliance before twilight, (interesting paradox) I begin to understand that the Light never *really* leaves. The Light is always there – lighting someone else’s day. My evening becomes someone else’s morning; returning again to make a new day… But actually everything is one continuous movement of Light - always… And I’m not talking about the sun here…

This wondrous movement of Light reminds me that “Reality” and “phenomena” are never separate. You cannot separate phenomena, such as a sun setting, *from* the movement of Reality ItSelf. It is an illusion to say that one is an illusion and the other is not. There are no illusory objects appearing separately from Reality. There is no line between light and dark, formless and form, day and night. In fact, it is the separation that is illusory. There is nothing that *isn’t* Light. Everything is one and the same Light, or you could say, one and the same Life. The Absolute and the Relative are the same. It’s all the breath and movement of Light/Life, in and as everything. We are the brilliance of unlit Light… What matters is what opens us to the awareness of that unlit Light in the Heart that is always there…