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Come meander with me on the pathless path of the Heart
in these anecdotal,
sometimes inspiring, sometimes personal meanderings of the Heart's opening in the every-day-ness of Life...

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Life Came Back...










Then when
it seems
we will never
smile again,
life comes back...









This photo and verse are on a blank greeting card that I found many years ago. (See copyright info below). I kept it for myself, to remind me that through the “dark” times, life does come back… Of course *Life* never goes away. It just changes form. Life morphs Itself.

During times of fever, through my recent experiences with illness, I was drawn into deep Stillness, similar to the space of aware Stillness in meditation – only deeper. I was surprised that illness could lead to such a deep space of Stillness. The mind and body - though laboring under illness - were less active, and I was able to find a deep inner space of rest - amazing. And yet, there were many times that it also felt as if “life” (the sense of aliveness, well-being, embodiment) had left and would not return – or at least was on hold somewhere in cyberspace maybe. Hello~o~o~o~o …. This is not to sound dramatic. I was not near death. It was just the way “I” experienced it. But of course “Life” hadn’t left – the body-mind was still here, still functioning… But it was experienced that *something* “left” – the felt sense of Presence. Inexplicable…

Monday night, however, “LIFE came back” – the healing rain came. There was a clear shift in body-mind. Energy returned to the body and clarity to the mind – a sense of wellness and well-BEing – a sense of being here, aware, alive; a sense of the spirit of LIFE embodying this body again. Although energy levels still seem to come and go.

“Life came back”, much as it had been before. There were no big revelations, no breakthroughs, no big shifts in perception. Life lived on – like nothing had happened at all. Even intentionally taking time out for “refuge” for a few days in Stillness last week, as part of my “recovery”, was not a life-changing “retreat.” My home did not suddenly become a monk’s (or is that monkess’s :) monastery filled with chants, meditation and enlightenment - darn. There was still – husband home 24/7 - again - conversing, engaging; meals to make, laundry to be done, sprinkler system to “help” fix; and mother continuing to call every day to see if I was “better” – no pressure there. :) My “refuge” was nothing more than taking refuge in inner Stillness – capturing moments of Silence as much as possible – listening inwardly as Life lived on.

Now I am experiencing a renewed curiosity in and re-commitment to this deep inner Stillness of Being, the Aliveness within, as a way of life. I take more time during the day to feel and listen to this inner Presence of Being, awareing IT, experiencing IT, breathing IT, absorbing IT - delighting in the wonderment of IT as it pulses through this body. However, I do feel the demands of ordinary life and requirements of daily living beginning to crowd it out - again. I understand why gurus, yogis, artists, writers, and contemplatives head for the hills, places unknown, caves and nature – to *live* in wondrous refuge and intimacy with the Stillness of Life within – listening deeply to Its Voice.

I am curious – What is your refuge? What allows you to experience the Aliveness of Being within on a daily basis?




~*~


Photo
copyright – Chris Jones
Card
copyright - The Borealis Press – 1997
Surry Maine




10 comments:

  1. Very much can identify with, and admire you quest & re-commitment to the deep inner stillness. My refuge is the Buddha's teachings. But I also find refuge in the everyday-ness of life--my morning yoga practice, art time in my studio in with I explore my inner truth, a walk in nature is always a good refuge too. ;o) We need time alone to hear the inner voice, we just need it. Here's to sweet refuge. Happy Days ((HUGS))

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  2. Beautiful Tracy! I love your refuges. I find such inner Stillness in art and nature too. And I love Buddhist teachings and wisdom, as well as others. Yes, may we all find such sweet refuge within!
    Heart Hugs - Christine

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  3. Oh. how i needed to read this as I wrestle with chemo. Thank you!

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  4. Cate ~ I think of you often as you go through these times, especially when I was recently flattened myself with illness. I thought - HOW does she do this and still enjoy LIFE the way you do! Your inner Light is splendiferous! :)
    In Splendor with you :) - Christine

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  5. Dearest...A deep and full acceptance of this plain, old THIS...right here, right Now...is the Refuge. AND Dearest Christine!! :)
    XOXO
    ♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥....................♥

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  6. Ah yes, Leslie - the here and NOW... Thank you for that reminder. And the Heart of course - refuge in the Heart of Love... ♥

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  7. Good Morning Christine....

    This may sound a bit odd but I find refuge in reading spiritual blogs...something about yours and others I visit always brings me back to center, moves me to my silent place of 'being in Life, Love, Light,' and brings joy in to experience. I've been sitting here reading this morning and am moved by each heartsong you share...
    So happy you are feeling better! Stay well my Sister of Light. :) Many Blessings on the Gentle Winds to You and Hubby!
    In Divine Love!
    xoxoxo

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  8. Thank you for your lovely comment and blessings Akasa! Blessings of Love and Health to you as well... C

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  9. Dear

    Life is wondrous. I came here via "Beyond the fields we know", which I follow. After a long summer of rain and storm here in Belgium, and feelings of depression, this morning, the sun is shining, I had a nice conversation on the train with a complete stranger... Listening to some Bach cantatas, I arrived on your blog, and read exactly what I feel today; 'life came back'... Beautiful blog btw., beautiful poems. Thanks

    Jan

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  10. Good Morning and Welcome Jan! Glad you found me :) Yes, Life *is* wondrous. Don't you just love Beyond the Fields We Know!? So inspiring.

    And thank you for your lovely comment about my blog and poems... I hope you will return and meander along with me again...

    Christine

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