One of my favorite things to do is to sit with my elderly father
who has Alzheimers. It's a beautiful thing to just sit in a place
of profound not-knowing with him, a place where I do not
know what to say or do. I sit, without expectation, without
trying to 'fix' him, or manipulate his experience in any way.
I just listen, without trying to make things better in the moment,
without playing the role of 'the one who knows'.
I am simply available to him.
I don't need to 'know' anything in this place...
And here, I notice a deep and profound acceptance of any wave
of frustration or sadness that appears in the ocean of experience.
of profound not-knowing with him, a place where I do not
know what to say or do. I sit, without expectation, without
trying to 'fix' him, or manipulate his experience in any way.
I just listen, without trying to make things better in the moment,
without playing the role of 'the one who knows'.
I am simply available to him.
I don't need to 'know' anything in this place...
And here, I notice a deep and profound acceptance of any wave
of frustration or sadness that appears in the ocean of experience.
And this seems to be what true relationship is at its very core -
meeting, really meeting in the moment, without hope, without
a future, without expectation, without a story. Coming face
to face with - yourself.
meeting, really meeting in the moment, without hope, without
a future, without expectation, without a story. Coming face
to face with - yourself.
Nisargadatta Maharaj says:
"What remains is the great sadness of compassion"
It is not cold detachment and neo-Advaita
world-rejection, but the intimacy of the most unspeakable kind.
It is not cold detachment and neo-Advaita
world-rejection, but the intimacy of the most unspeakable kind.
Excerpt from The Beauty We Love
I really like this. Just being - is so hard, and then to be with another. Whow!
ReplyDeleteFor me, at this point of where I am, it depends on who I am "being" with. When we would visit my mother-in-law, who had Alzheimer's, it was easy for me to just sit with her, to just be, as Jeff describes. I'm finding that it's not so easy with my own mother. But am doing my best to just be with her, to let things be as they are, to let everything unfold the way it does, and find that place of inner Stillness. Have been listening to a guided meditation by Adyashanti on You Tube that has helped.
Delete