Self-Compassion - Matt Licata

It is important to realize that the path of opening the heart
is not the same as becoming a receptacle for the unloading
of others' unconscious. unresolved beliefs, unprocessed
feelings, and unintegrated behaviors.  While "appearing"
compassionate on the outside, being an emotional doormat
involves the re-enacting of early unconscious dynamics.
We learned that devaluing ourselves, often in very subtle
ways, was the best route to get out needs met, to fit in,
to receive attention and affection, and to maintain a
precarious tie to an unavailable attachment figure
[parent]...to work through overwhelming states of
survival-level anxiety.

But the pathways within are luminous - neither solid
nor fixed - and can be reorganized around empathy,
kindness, and presence...  ...this possibility occurs
only by way of self-compassion and the unconditional
commitment to no longer abandon yourself...which
will require immense courage, care, curiosity and
embodiment.

Look carefully and see the ways you habitually
place others' needs over your own...not out of
true compassion for them, but a re-enactment of
an early environment of shame and unworthiness...
...lay down a new pathway [through self-compassion].
The pathway is grounded in self-care, which wisely
expresses itself in the skillful care of others, and
opens the doorway into the unfolding dance of self
and other and the eternal mysteries...

Matt Licata