Hiding The Shadows - Toko-pa Turner

 What if [negative emotions] have something essential
to communicate to us and each other, and the real problem
is the misguided attitude that negative feelings make us less
evolved and need fixing?

In the same way that we hold others at arm's length when they
are too different from us, we avoid the inner encounter with
otherness, excluding anything that doesn't fit the image we've
been building of ourselves.

'Negative emotions' don't cease to exist because we ignore
them.  They just find other ways to express themselves.
Sometimes inappropriately, having confusing crying fits, or
feeling protractedly numb.  Most commonly we slip into 
depression and anxiety...

If not addressed in a person's life, these issues can harden into
ideologies which are then passed through the generations.
When you add to this equation a loud or charismatic leader,
movements like Nazism will be born from the corroborative
fear of otherness.

Most of us have been raised to be moral, good, and agreeable,
putting all of our 'unacceptable' qualities in what Robert Bly
calls "The Long Black Bag" we drag behind us, or what Jung
termed the personal "Shadow."  The Shadow is the place
where everything we have forgotten, denied, rejected, or not
yet discovered goes to live.

When we try to live up to the impossible image of a spiritually
enlightened, knowledgeable, selfless, forgiving, easy-going,
supportive, generous superhuman, the dark side of our nature
just gains in power...

You always have a choice to turn away or to look for redemption
in the shadows.  Sometimes turning away is exactly what you
need in the moment, especially if you're tired from toiling there.
Trust that whatever you decide is the right decision.  Also
know that if the issue being presented has roots, it will still
be there when you're ready to look at it...

We cannot simply remove the Shadow all at once.  It takes
wisdom, courage and forbearance for our shadows to reveal
themselves to us so they can be faced and dealt with gently,
compassionately, and firmly.

Toko-pa Turner
from: Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home

with thanks to The Beauty We Love

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

This shadowy, sunglass-wearing figure revealed itself in
the grains of the cutting board I recently acquired - wearing
his silly little hat - as if hiding in the shadows behind a
curtain... :)

On Being Authentic - Elizabeth Lesser

The irony of hiding the dark side of our humanness is that our
secret is not really a secret at all.  How can it be when we're all
safeguarding the very same story?  That's why Rumi calls it an
Open Secret.  It's almost a joke - a laughable admission that each
one of us has a shadow self - a bumbling, bad-tempered twin.
 Big surprise!  Just like you, I can be a jerk sometimes.  I do
 unkind, cowardly things, harbor unmerciful thoughts, and
mope around when I should be doing something constructive. 
Just like you, I wonder if life has meaning; I worry and fret
 over things that I can't control; and I often feel overcome
 with a longing for something I cannot even name.  For all of
 my strengths and gifts, I am also a vulnerable and insecure
 person, in need of connection and reassurance.  This is
the secret I try to keep from you, and you from me, and in
doing so, we do each other a grave disservice.

Rumi tells us that the moment we accept what troubles we've
 been given, the door will open.  Sounds easy, sounds attractive,
but it is difficult, and most of us pound on the door to freedom
 and happiness with every manipulative ploy save the one that
actually works.  If you're interested in the door to the heavens
opening, start with the  door to your own secret self.  See what
 happens when you offer to another a glimpse of yourself.  Start
slowly. Without getting dramatic, share the simple dignity of 

yourself  in each moment - your triumphs and your failures, your
 satisfaction and your sorrow. Face your embarrassment at being
human, and you'll uncover a deep well of passion and compassion.
  It's a great power, your Open Secret.  When you heart is undefended
you make it safe for whomever you meet to put down his/her
burden  of hiding, and then you both can walk through the
 open door.

Elizabeth Lesser

from: Broken Open

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

Being Authentic - Elizabeth Lesser

The irony of hiding the dark side of our humanness is that our
secret is not really a secret at all.  How can it be when we're all
safeguarding the very same story?  That's why Rumi calls it an
Open Secret.  It's almost a joke - a laughable admission that each
one of us has a shadow self - a bumbling, bad-tempered twin.
Big surprise!  Just like you, I can be a jerk sometimes.  I do unkind,
cowardly things, harbor unmerciful thoughts, and mope around
when I should be doing something constructive.  Just like you,
I wonder if life has meaning;  I worry and fret over things that I
can't control; and I often feel overcome with a longing for
something that I cannot even name.  For all of my strengths and
gifts, I am also a vulnerable and insecure person, in need of
connection and reassurance.  This is the secret I try to keep from
you, and you from me, and in doing so, we do each other a grave
disservice.

Rumi tells us that the moment we accept what troubles we've been
given, the door will open.  Sounds easy, sounds attractive, but it is
difficult, and most of us pound on the door to freedom and happiness
with every manipulative ploy save the one that actually works.  If
you're interested in the door to the heavens opening, start with the
door to your own secret self.  See what happens when you offer to
another a glimpse of who you really are.  Start slowly.  Without
getting dramatic, share the simple dignity of yourself in each moment -
your triumphs and your failures, your satisfaction and your sorrow.
Face your embarrassment at being human, and you'll uncover a deep
well of passion and compassion.  It's a great power, your Open Secret.
When you heart is undefended you make it safe for whomever you
meet to put down his/her burden of hiding, and then you both can
walk through the open door.

Elizabeth Lesser
from: Broken Open

~

...the person you think of as "yourself" exists only in you, and
even you don't really know who that is.  Every person you meet,
have a relationship with, or make eye contact on the street with,
creates a version of "you" in their heads.  You're not the same
person to your mom, your dad, your siblings, [that] you are to
your coworkers, your neighbors, or your friends.  There are a
thousand different versions of yourself out there, in people's minds.
A "you" exists in each version, and your "you", "yourself", isn't really
"someone" at all.

Commentary on a chapter in a book called
One, No One, and One Hundred Thousand
by Luigi Pirandello