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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Land of "I Don't Know..."

The land of “I Don’t Know” is a very humbling place to be. Everything I thought I knew is not available or accessible anymore. All programs have been dumped, including the one called “knowing.” This land is where one has seemingly “forgotten” all former “realizations”, “awakenings” and “knowings” - and questions everything one has realized about what it thought it knew about anything of a “spiritual” nature, or even the Nature of Reality Itself. You know, like, WHO you really are… Interesting…

It’s like having had the inner landscape wiped clean. You know you aren’t in Kansas anymore – but you don’t recognize where you are. You wonder where the “knowing” went, and if that too was all made up – just a projection of one’s imagination. This “I Don’t Know” space feels rather blank, like absolutely nothing – and I don’t mean the vibrant, alive spaciousness of Infinite Aware No-thing-ness. No, this is different. It’s challenging terrain to navigate and articulate.

Like the rabbit in the photo above, I find myself prostrating before “The Oracle” wanting answers, hoping for a “sign”, but there are no signposts along the way to assure me of my path – no definitive “answers” forthcoming. The Oracle is silent as well…

So all I “know” at the moment is that I really don’t know. And I am willing to not “know” – to be emptied out of all assumed knowing - but the mind doesn’t like it much. It wants to find something to “know” – a nice juicy spiritual concept to wrap itself around so it can say: Ahhhh, yes, I “know”, and I have the lovely words to prove it – so I can relax and rest in the certainty of my “self-knowing” again. The mind doesn’t seem to like word games either – like: Who is the one who doesn’t know, or is there any me here to know, or who is the one who knows, or is there anything to know? “I don’t know.”

So I’m learning to be in the Land of “I Don’t Know” – being open, keeping my gaze inward, listening, paying attention, remembering to turn to that space of Infinite Awareness, which doesn’t rely on what I thought I knew, or what I have experienced – or my thoughts, beliefs, and opinions about It - but is simply and always There, available in every moment.


~*~


5 comments:

  1. great post. that's the important, hard thing, being with the unknown. It goes against all the instincts of our little self. We ache to know. Reminds me of Ezra Bayda's "the uncomfortable quiver of being"

    I know this one a little bit and of course mostly only go there when I am pushed, kicking and screaming by the universe.

    I look forward to hearing more about the unknown. Thanks for reminding us to go there when we have a choice!

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  2. ZDS ~ believe me, no choice, just there :) letting Life unfold me the way it does...

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  3. Thank you Dearest Christine ♥

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  4. "Not knowing is the most intimate." Dogen

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  5. Genju ~ Thank you :) And feels more authentic...

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