These are strange times, sitting in this liminal space between
what was and what will be, a crossroads within both the mircro-
and macrocosms. I have been feeling a deep internal shakeup in
a way that I always do when met with something much greater
than me, bringing lessons of my insignificance and an opportunity
to shape-shift. There's been less than glamorous insights into self;
meeting places of deep tension between my compassion and
intolerance, my flexibility and rigid worldview, my humility and
my desire to be right, my longing for and resistance to change,
[to what is], where I remain open and where I shut down... so
much friction between what feels like split personalities living
in this body. And, in the way that friction does, it's making many
little fires in me that need tending, so as not to be snuffed out, or
burn me right down to the ground.
what was and what will be, a crossroads within both the mircro-
and macrocosms. I have been feeling a deep internal shakeup in
a way that I always do when met with something much greater
than me, bringing lessons of my insignificance and an opportunity
to shape-shift. There's been less than glamorous insights into self;
meeting places of deep tension between my compassion and
intolerance, my flexibility and rigid worldview, my humility and
my desire to be right, my longing for and resistance to change,
[to what is], where I remain open and where I shut down... so
much friction between what feels like split personalities living
in this body. And, in the way that friction does, it's making many
little fires in me that need tending, so as not to be snuffed out, or
burn me right down to the ground.
I hear the call of many wise teachers and elders singing similar
instructions; slow down, get quiet, be still, listen.
instructions; slow down, get quiet, be still, listen.
What if slowing down and finding stillness has nothing to do with
movement or speed and has everything to do with being completely
broken and not trying to pick up the pieces too quickly. Rather
than striving for a greater capacity to hold more, aiming for total
incapacitation, surrender instead. Perhaps it's a good time to
venerate Akhilandeshvari, Goddess of Never Not Broken; I hear
her asking us to sit with the wreckage and feel the sharp pangs of
loss and grief. No expectation of the future, no instructions for
how to move forward. A time to hospice ourselves through a good
death, and a long slow process of composting our former selves.
movement or speed and has everything to do with being completely
broken and not trying to pick up the pieces too quickly. Rather
than striving for a greater capacity to hold more, aiming for total
incapacitation, surrender instead. Perhaps it's a good time to
venerate Akhilandeshvari, Goddess of Never Not Broken; I hear
her asking us to sit with the wreckage and feel the sharp pangs of
loss and grief. No expectation of the future, no instructions for
how to move forward. A time to hospice ourselves through a good
death, and a long slow process of composting our former selves.
What if getting quiet has nothing to do with turning down the volume,
and more to do with a subtle attunement towards finding the sacred
amidst the noise and chaos...
and more to do with a subtle attunement towards finding the sacred
amidst the noise and chaos...
Invite the power of disruption that shakes us up and disorients us,
that opens portals, seducing us towards the in-between spaces and
to dance in the wild unknown. To see creation and destruction as
necessary to each other's survival, and the inherent violence in what
we have named nature. Let us be students of alchemy and mischief,
and to think and act in unorthodox ways as the wise fool.
that opens portals, seducing us towards the in-between spaces and
to dance in the wild unknown. To see creation and destruction as
necessary to each other's survival, and the inherent violence in what
we have named nature. Let us be students of alchemy and mischief,
and to think and act in unorthodox ways as the wise fool.
Perhaps it is time for deep remembering and reclamation. To sit
with the many troubles of being alive, to let go of reaching towards
any sort of arrival, victory, or stability, and meet each other in our
differences, [in our shared brokenness]. Let's stay shattered a while,
and let ourselves spill up and out of the many containers we have
confined ourselves to; never certain, never permanent, never alone,
never not broken.
with the many troubles of being alive, to let go of reaching towards
any sort of arrival, victory, or stability, and meet each other in our
differences, [in our shared brokenness]. Let's stay shattered a while,
and let ourselves spill up and out of the many containers we have
confined ourselves to; never certain, never permanent, never alone,
never not broken.
For any of you dealing with a deep sense of brokenness you
may find this essay from The Sutra Journal about Akhilandeshwari
an interesting read. I had not heard of this Hindu Tantric Goddess
before and found the article quite relevant to my own experience,
although I am not Hindu...
may find this essay from The Sutra Journal about Akhilandeshwari
an interesting read. I had not heard of this Hindu Tantric Goddess
before and found the article quite relevant to my own experience,
although I am not Hindu...
The essay is called - Akhilandeshwari: The Power of Brokenness
by Laura Amazzone
by Laura Amazzone
~
Photo - Mystic Meandering
~
I have no spiritual platitudes to offer,
no "answers" - no "fixes."
no "answers" - no "fixes."
All I have to share with you today
is my brokenness.
is my brokenness.
MM
Sept 12, 2022
Sept 12, 2022
I'll never forget when I first met Akhilandeshvari, and learned how to sit in her Never not Broken stillness. The immense relaxation of no fighting to keep anything together was so amazing. Thanks for reminding me of her sitting on her crocodile.
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful... Yes, "no fighting to keep anything together" - just what I'm Iearning to do now :) She is one I am not familiar with, so had to look it up after reading Gina's post...
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