Missed Moment - a meandering...

I stepped outside one morning in May recently
to put cracker crumbs under the bird feeder,
for the birds, squirrels or whatever would eat them.

Upon stepping out the door,
I immediately felt the cool morning breeze
on my face...

I stopped in my tracks,
lifted my face to the breeze in silence,

and was stunned by the aliveness of the greenery
of everything, through the dappled light of
the morning sun;
like a blind person seeing for the first time...

Everything went still - for about 5 seconds.
I didn't take it in, didn't linger longer to feel
the moment, but stepped out of the moment to
finish my task and went back inside to continue
my care-giver routine.

I had missed an opportunity, and I knew it,
to be in the quietness of Nature, my backyard
version of Nature, with its beautiful trees,
gentle breezes. and filtered sunlight;
recently seen only through windows - until this
one moment.  I had just one moment - and I 
missed it.

I realized how much I have missed the quiet connection
with Nature over the past couple of years, not even
going out into my backyard; a prisoner in my own home,
missing the quietness of Nature, the comfort of Nature.

I actually miss quietness in my life! BC
Before Caregiving- the role I took on nearly 20 months ago.
So many losses of quiet moments and personal freedoms
over that time.

That's a story I need to explore...

So what does *this* story that I tell myself
 about feeling imprisoned,
and missing moments
 trying to tell me...

That I need to find and savor quiet alone moments
like these - and stay there - allowing myself to connect
with a much needed deeper Quiet within...

Mystic Meandering

May 2024

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
watching for the mailman :)