Divine Discontent - a meandering...

Something is arising in me - calling to me through the veils
of "spirituality" - that cannot be ignored...  The Call of the
Soul - the Passion of the Soul...  The call to a deeper
authenticity...

It's as if my Being, my Soul, is trying to free Itself from its
confines and constraints - A Divine Discontent.  There's a
sense of needing to break out of those limiting constraints,
to break out of a "role", a "spiritual identity", a "spiritual"
self-image that has kept me dancing to a tune that I now feel
out of sync with - out of sync with my Soul; needing to
find my own unique rhythm with life.

"Spirituality" has, in ways that I don't fully understand,
 suffocated my authentic expression of "The Mystery." 
And now I need to emancipate myself and live that
unique expression.  I must discover my own way, and
navigate my unique path.  It cannot be prescribed by others;
conforming to someone else's maps of Reality, but 
emancipating the true expression of the Soul, whatever
that may look like; listening to the authentic Voice within.

As I write these words, I feel myself settling back into
myself again - my Natural self - not an abstract 
"spiritualized" Self - hiding behind the
veils of "spirituality."

So what is my Soul calling me to?
What is my "unique path" - my unique expression?
What is the Fire in my Soul?

They are yet to be discovered...

But there is a kind of Alchemical transformation
arising within...  I feel its Fire...

_/\_

Mystic Meandering

July 1, 2022

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Domesticity - The Mundance - Part 2

"Inside this new love,

die.

Your way begins on the
other side.

Become the sky.
Take an axe to the
prison wall.
Escape.
Walk out like someone
suddenly born into color.
Do it now.
Your old life was a
frantic running
from silence."

~ Rumi

I have a friend with whom I used to share tea and talk with over a period of several months last year. We would discuss “spiritual stuff.” He has a wonderful art studio/sanctuary where we’d meet. He goes to his studio nearly every day to do art that is not for sale – just art for arts sake, read, sit in meditation for hours, talk with friends, or otherwise live his Heart’s desires, following the creative muse, and, in my mind anyway, the “spiritual life.” (Gee - I wonder what his wife does!? Keeps the home fires burning no doubt!) I raised the issue of the “Mundance” with him one time. He very nicely “invited” me to see that the mundane was just as “sacred” as what we determine to be the more “spiritual” activities. He assumed the role of a “teacher” and gave an example of when he stayed at an ashram and was required to scrub the floors of one of the buildings every day. He wanted a job in the “temple” itself – but was relegated to the more mundane areas and activities – for which he was rather bummed and irritated. (Isn’t that my point?!) He had to scrub the toilets and floors until he learned the lesson that the “mundane” activity is just as “sacred” as working in the temple. And then he was allowed a job in the temple. Hmmmm – sounds rather patriarchal to me, perpetuating old paradigms of efforting and working hard to *earn* the reward of “enlightenment” – domesticating the sacred fire that burns within. Isn’t this just more conditioning? And – doesn’t *he* get to retreat to his studio (temple) when life gets a little too mundane?! (I am not a feminist by any stretch of the imagination.):)

While I understand that everything is sacred, that there is no separation between the mundane and the “spiritual”, that only thought makes them separate and unequal, to me it feels deeper than just this division of the mind. It’s as if my Being is trying to free Itself from the confines and constraints that IT is experiencing – like a Divine Discontent. It’s like “I” am trying to break out of a “role”, an “identity”, the conditioning that constrains my Being, that has kept me dancing to a tune that I feel out of sync with – and soar to the Heart of Being. (I'm a "Mystic" remember...) I experience the mundane dance as a complete waste of life affirming energy. But once again that’s my mind - a mind-made story that I tell myself about how deadening domesticity is. I know, after awakening – chop wood, carry water… But somehow that doesn’t feed my Heart…

Men – in general – it seems, are able to follow a “spiritual path” more easily. (Or maybe this is just another delusion.) Jesus, Buddha, Ramana Maharshi, Nisargadatta come to mind. I have not studied the lives of these teachers so I may be mistaken here, but it seems they pretty much followed the “call” of their Heart, if you will. Jesus left his parents at age 12 to seek the wisdom of “God”, Buddha left his young wife and child to discover the Truth of Existence, Ramana left home at age 16 to live at the base of Mt. Arunachala to become “Enlightened.” Nisargadatta left his family for 5 years to study with a teacher (although he also worked to support his family during that time). These men devoted their lives to “enlightenment”, awakening, spirituality, “the path”, Self-realization, Truth, in whatever ways they could. I wonder what the modern day enlightened women do, like Gangaji, Neelam, Pamela Wilson, Mukti and many others. Do they spend their days in meditation – living monastically - writing words of wisdom, teaching others “Truth”? Do they do their own domestic duties, or do they have a cadre of people (other women?) surrounding them, willing to cook, clean and otherwise do the duties of the mundane… And does it really matter? – No… I realize this is *my* issue…

So it would seem a little time sitting with this is in order. Maybe it’s as simple as time management, discipline, shedding some bad habits, and an attitude adjustment. That’s probably part of it – and something I’ve started working on – bringing awareness to those areas. Asking: What is this *really*? And, what is needed here? But it feels much deeper than the surface solutions – as beneficial and practical as they are… But what’s underneath this?

It *feels* like the call of the Heart once again: the Self calling the Self to itSelf again and again *through* the veils of the mundane. It’s as if there’s an “entrainment” with a deeper dance that is needed here; a birthing into a new rhythm with life… Not shunning the mundane, not sacrificing my Self, but honoring the call of the Heart –the homing call; dancing the Rhythm of the true Self; *abiding* in the Heart of Being where everything is congruent…

May we all abide in the Song of the Heart -

intimately dancing “The Dance.”

~*~