Sensing Being

Monday I found myself at different times of the day being aware of Being – internally – the inner fluid flow of Being (Buddha Nature, Self, Awareness, Spaciousness, Stillness). It was as if I was being pulled inward, as I was *doing* things – like preparing a meal, doing the dishes, working outside. I would feel this inward turning to inner stillness. I have experienced this before – this turning of awareness inward and feeling this still Presence in the middle of “doing” – not just in the stillness of meditating.

As I sat reading that evening, I couldn’t focus on the words, so I put the book down and just allowed Awareness to take me where it wanted to go – seeing life through my eyes. As I looked around the room, and the things in the room, I realized that “things” aren’t just “things” in this field of Awareness. I experienced that *everything* is Being taking form. “Awakening” is the *seeing* of this; seeing the still, alive fluidness of Being in and as everything – even the inanimate car across the street! :) And - “Awakening” is seeing what is seeing; that innate awareness that sees, knows and revels in the seeing of it all. Consciousness revealing ItSelf to ItSelf.

I also sensed that this Being that we are is inherently *aware* – aware of Itself *as* “things”, as “us.” Only it sees no distinction as things, us, etc. It sees only ItSelf. As I saw that, I also experienced that everything has awareness - is Awareness. It’s in the molecules. It’s the stuff of space – of life. Everything sings with innate aliveness. I’ve known this all along, but it seems to be waking up again. “I” seem to keep falling back into the trance of separation – of not seeing – but Self keeps calling me back to ItSelf – if I’m listening. And apparently even when I’m not particularly listening It calls to me…

And so this has been my practice this week: this sensing of Being, this recognition of inner Being, inner Awareness, as well as awareness of Being in the surrounding environment, and in the ordinary “doings” of life. Awareness awaring ItSelf…

I have also found this week, so far, that it is relatively “easy” to experience this sense of inner Being inwardly, relatively “easy” to *see* it in Nature, the environment, but where I seem to get hung up is *seeing* Being *in* people. I have noticed on several occasions that there *seems* to be a veil there between us human beings that *seems* to obscure the view, unless one is *really* looking – really *seeing.* I have tried to *sense* Being in the people I have met this week, but usually all I see is the “trance of separation” in their eyes… I know that people see that veil here too at times – hopefully not all the time. It’s a veil that we hide behind, that keeps “us" from deeply recognizing Being in ourselves and one another. It’s the wound of separation. It’s hard seeing through this veil at times, into what’s *really* there – the inner space of Beingness behind the trance. No wonder “peace” is so illusive… We’re not really *seeing* through the veil into Being – into the Spaciousness that we all are…

Thursday morning at the hair shop, while waiting my turn, I watched the people to see what I could see. There was a lot of chatter but no connection - no sensing of Being. Everyone was going through the motions of pretend connection – without the *awareness* of inner Being. And then one woman brought her white-haired elderly mother in for a hair-do. The woman left to do an errand, while her mother waited, and returned before it was my turn. She was flipping through a hair fashion magazine, showing me the pictures, humorously commenting on these rather unrealistic, extreme hair fashions that only models can wear – not women in their 60’s. In her eyes I sensed a sparkle of light, not the dull veneer of trance…

After my haircut she was still seated in a chair by the door. As I stood up she kindly commented on my new “do.” I paid the hairdresser and turned to walk out the door. As I did, I felt the fleetingness of the moment and wanted to say something to her, so I paused, bent down, and said: “Bye – nice to meet you.” She looked at me with a sparkle of surprise in her eyes, smiled and said: “Nice to meet you too!” Seeing beyond the veil opened another crack in my Heart. Yes, Virginia – there is a radiant Being in there - in everyone. You can sense it, feel it and see it - beyond the veil… Look deeply…

~*~

istock photo