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Friday, June 11, 2010

The Space of Silence

Today while cleaning I became acutely aware of this inner, fluid space of Silence. It was so palpable. It is similar to that inward “sensing of Being” that I felt last week – yet slightly different in quality. I stopped what I was doing, and paused to listen, to *feel* it - to acknowledge the Quiet Presence within. I felt as if I was being drawn in by the Absolute Stillness of a reflecting pool. I wanted to wade in, to experience it, to immerse in it – to bathe in the clarity of this fluid Silence. I acknowledged Silence’s Presence, as one does in a moment of silence for those passed on, and continued with my cleaning, checking in from time to time to see if it was still there, hoping it would wait for me to finish and be still - which never happened. A lost moment. And yet, it was still there, offering its invitation in muffled tones – come be with me, come and be still.

It’s the feel of the Eternal Pull of Presence within… This “pull” or “longing”, I realized, is really just an invitation to what is already there – waiting; what Colleen Loehr over at A Window is Where the Wall is Absent calls being “reeled in by the attraction of the invisible heart.” Yes, that’s it! It is the invitation of the Eternal Silence, like a homing call.

It’s the feeling of something unborn, yet making Itself known - in little whispers – letting me know It’s there... This whisper of this still, silent Beingness within - calls for our attention even in the midst of “noise”. This space of Silence is not the *lack* of sound, but the absence of external stimulation - or “noise:” thought, emotional agitation, mental restlessness, as well as the interruptions of external influences that bind my mind to them and redirect the flow… It wants to be met. It wants to express, to feel, to BE… But “I” have become entangled in the externals of life - the surface clutter – and find excuses to avoid surrendering completely into the space of Silent reverie of complete and utter Stillness.

In this invitation today I was reminded once again that this space of awake, aware, enlivened Silence is the Primordial Womb of Being from which all things are birthed. It is what everything rests in, what everything is made of: the song of the bird, the noise of the traffic, the buzz of the weed-whacker, the hum of the plane, the rustling of the leaves, the rippling of water. It’s where everything rises from and falls back into. It is the ground of Being ItSelf… It is Pure Awareness that just IS. The boxcar named “Emptiness.” The No-thing-ness. And the “train” to “nowhere.” It is the felt experience of our very Beingness. The Silence that isn’t silent. And yet, even with this knowing, this seeing, it seems – well, unavailable at times – like a child playing hide and seek, hiding behind trees and rocks, yet you know they’re right there in front of your face… And maybe it’s me who’s hiding, playing hard to find! Ah-HA! :) I also realized that this longing of the Heart doesn’t mean that there’s anything really missing. It’s just the Silence revealing ItSelf, reminding me of Its Presence, like an old friend that shows up and says – hey, I’m still here. Come sit with me, come and be still. Or, wanna go to lunch? How bout’ weeding the garden? What about organizing that closet, painting that picture… You get the idea… It’s always there - inviting.

So this longing for “Home” – the longing of the Heart that I’ve been experiencing – is really an invitation from this primordial space of Silence to follow Its whisper back to ItSelf - the Silence of the Heart…


“…all moving is from the mover. Every pull draws us to the ocean.”

Rumi


“There is the Pure Awareness that is with you all the time,
just waiting for your recognition.
The Self will pull your ego into the Heart.”

Robert Adams – Silence of the Heart


~*~


photo - Christine

9 comments:

  1. I love, love, love this Christine...thank you! This part..."The Self will pull your ego into the Heart"...does this really happen??? We may as well lay down on the earth...sink in to the pull...like mercury in the palm of your hand...only still.
    God help me to see these thoughts as 'I'-'I'.
    XOXO
    -Leslie

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  2. Hi Leslie ~
    It's all the Self - "pulling" ItSelf to ItSelf...Just *allow* it.(How easily "I" forget this! :) "We" are THAT - already. We just need to relax into it, have a felt experience of it.

    And yes! I love your words! - "lay down - sink into the pull - only still" - over and over and over again until complete surrender happens. (I may put these words on a sticky note!) I know this to be true, but as I said, I get caught in the surface clutter and get distracted, avoiding the pull... But "IT" waits patiently, always inviting, is endlessly, openly patient :)

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  3. Hi Christine,

    This post is so vivid, and the words clearly arose from a profound place of consciousness, that just in reading the words the magnetic pull towards the ineffable stirs within me.

    It's like the words gently wake up a sleeping baby within me that opens its eyes and sees the wonder of being.

    Generally the noise of the mind distracts awareness from this inner pull towards the silence. Yet when I allow myself to be at ease, to stop hunting for anything, and to sink into a blissful sense of effortlessness...then the magnetic pull towards presence is felt.

    Thank you for sharing your inner experiences Christine, I feel uplifted out of mind chatter and into a space of clarity from reading this post. Thank you also for your kind reference to my blog.

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  4. Hi Colleen! And thank you for your lovely words that also help me to *see* this more clearly. I love the imagery of the sleeping baby waking and seeing the wonder of being... Goose bumps. That's exactly how it feels sometimes, as if "I" am seeing with new eyes.

    Yes, it is my experience as well that when "I" *allow* myself to be at ease...to sink into...the pull...Presence is felt. And so my "practice" is to be *aware* of this Stillness of Silence that invites, that pulls "me" to ItSelf... and just *allow.* Sweet Serenity...

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  5. Hi Christine and Colleen,
    Had to 'allow' for a bit of gardening. Now I can't move and this computer keeps freezing up.
    There is an off-again-on-again feeling of being cut off from care, safety and belonging where I have a hard time opening into that presence and deeply allowing. I have no idea of how to get out of that loop. Have listened to Tara Brach but I don't know if I can go through those meditations.
    Both of your posts have been an enormous help. If you ask me :) you've BOTH been hired by God. :):):)
    XOXO
    -Leslie

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  6. Leslie ~ My sense is you are trying too hard.(?) And - your *mind* is afraid of losing its control in the whole thing, thus your fears for safety. So sit with that feeling, meet it. Don't try to *make* anything happen, but just become *aware* of the Presence that is right there underneath it all - even the feeling of being unsafe. *You* don't have to "give up" or "get rid" of anything to "get there." You don't "lose" anything! Just feel it within you energetically - because IT is already there *supporting* your sense of "you." It's very subtle... No big drama...

    It's kind of like visualizing yourself laying on the vast Ocean, supported by the Ocean ItSelf, allowing yourself to rest there, floating on the rhythmic swells - and just relax into that. *Feel* the internal Rhythm of the Ocean, follow the rhythm of your breath and just *be* with the inner Rhythm - *naturally.* It's a *natural* internal Rhythm that supports "you." Don't go into it with expectations about "liberation", outcomes, results, but just be with whatever your experience is; and it may not be what you think it will be. :) And don't try to "get rid" of the "ego" - won't work :) Just keep coming back to the felt sense of this inner "energy"/presence - or however you feel it...

    Don't worry - just BE - naturally...

    Heart Hugs - Christine

    PS - Have you read "The Truth Is" by Papaji? You might like it...

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  7. Hi Christine,
    Welllll...that sounds perfectly beautiful. Thank you. It was kind of feeling that way this afternoon. So peaceful...with no concern. Not that shimmering quality of spacious aliveness, that one essence, but peace none-the-less.
    There's no question that I try too hard. Almost can't help it. There have been some unusual set-backs that I'm sure I try to overcompensate for in addition to being by myself and blah-blah.
    I haven't read 'The Truth Is'...the truth is I have so many books it's gotten ridicul;ous. I love all the expressions of the One. Some resonate more than others but they are all beautiful. I will look it up...Thanks for the recommendation.
    Also for that exquisite answer. Right after I wrote the last comment the image came into mind of my Teacher sweeping his arm across some imaginary surface as if to indicate that nothing needs to be done with any of it.
    XOXO
    -Leslie

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  8. Hey Lelsie ~
    Phew - I was concerned after I hit the "post comment" button that I would sound to pedantic, too prescriptive, which was not my intent... Was just trying to interpret what your message was, and you *sounded* a bit "troubled"? :)

    Anyway... I hear you about "so many books, not enough time" :)

    Great image! yes, nothing needs to be done about any of it :)

    Play well! :)

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  9. LOL..."Phew - I was concerned after I hit the "post comment"...I can relate!!
    Anyway...are you kidding?!?! Your comments are beautiful and helpful.
    It's weird...even in the midst of peace I can start talking about some 'problem' as if to bring it back to life.
    XOXO
    -L.

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