Sunday I got to spend some time out in the backyard in the hammock. In the morning I went out to the back garden to take a picture of a Megellan Zinnia for Sunday’s blog post. When I stepped out the back door I realized that I hadn’t been spending much time outside this year, for one reason or another, and realized I missed it. The hammock had been up since Memorial Day, the last weekend in May. I remember being in it only once since then. The smell of wet earth was deliciously inviting. We’ve had a really wet Spring and early Summer, which is unusual for the Denver area. We’ve been in a 10 year drought until this year. The weather has also been unusually cool, which has been delightful, as the normally hot, arid southwestern climate has been a little harsh for this body. The smell reminded me of New England, where I grew up. Anxious to be outside I finished the blog post and made lunch. After lunch I grabbed a pillow and headed for the hammock – my serenity sanctuary – for a couple hours of blissful stillness.
I have been on a low level hum of anxiety for the last several weeks now, for one reason or another. Life living itself as it does sometimes creates anxiety in me. It has been difficult for me to find the inner space of Stillness lately, probably why I write about it on my website and here. :) (I write what I need to know type thing.) But Sunday I could hear it calling to me to come, to rest… I plugged in the little water fountain we have on the back patio for some soothing background sound and settled into the hammock under the silver maple tree and its lush canopy of leaves. I could hear the two children playing in the yard next door. The neighbor on the other side just sold their home and they were busy moving out, so a few helpers were in and out of their backyard moving stuff… There was the noise of a lawn mower somewhere in the distance. A wonderful song bird was lyrically singing its song, and then a Blue Jay chimed in with its call. A squirrel scurried along the top of the fence at the back of the yard, and a bunny rabbit grazed in the grass just about 20 feet away. The trees are especially full and lush green this year because of all the rain. The air was thick with moisture and I breathed it in – along with the smells of nature that wafted past my nose: the spruce tree, the juniper bush, the thyme, lavender and basil from the garden. And my eyes took in the beauty of the oranges, yellows and reds of the blooms in the garden just off to my left…
Ahhhh…. Finally, an automatic deep breath taken in and the body began to relax. Not only did I feel held by the rope hammock I was laying on, but I also had a felt sense of Presence, as if the thick, moist air was Presence itself holding me, embracing me. It felt good – like I was Home again. More deep breaths and the muscles began to let go of their long-held tension. My racing heart slowed as I connected with the pulse of Stillness (Beingness) in nature, and realized it was the same pulse moving through me. The anxiety muted a bit as I refocused my awareness on the Awareness behind the anxiety.
And so, no big metaphor or wisdom here, just a moment of resting in this wonderful Stillness, the ever-present, alive, dynamic Stillness of Being; allowing myself to take it all in, body, mind and spirit; feeling its rhythm lull me; sinking into the sweet, spacious serenity of nature’s sanctuary, and resting in the inner sanctuary of still aware Presence; resonating with the Rhythm of Life once again – the Rhythm that runs through us all.
Can you feel it?
For a little taste of serenity I invite you to view my “Serenity” video montage.
Heart Smiles – MeANderi
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