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Thursday, May 1, 2014

Gearing Up to Gear Down...

My inner Spirit calls me to a quiet life, to long periods of Silence, wants hibernation and repose.  Evidently it doesn’t know that it is “Spring” on the calendar and I must “gear up.”  My “surface life” requires me to “gear up.”  And I am having trouble reconciling the two; being faithful to one and responsible to the other.  Sounds dualistic I know, but it is the way of things here, trying to find the balance and flow, the Yin and Yang of life – the harmony between doing and being…

There is “Spring” cleaning and repairs that have been long needed on the house – like roof and soffit repairs, requiring researching roofers on line, making phone calls, leaving messages for call backs that keep me tethered to the phone, and being available for on-sight estimates.  And then there’s yard work - repainting garden chairs and planter tubs.  I think a nice Red Salmon color, or Cinnamon, or Terra Cotta would be a nice change. J   And then weeding out winter’s waste – and pruning trees – and….. and….. and….





And yet, the chamomile is blooming already


 and the tarragon and catnip are rising, despite the fact that the tubs have not been painted.
 But there is no thyme growing this year – interesting play on words, don’t you think… J


The lovage replanted itself over here by the fence in the rocks.

But “Spring” is not the only reason we are “gearing up.”  We are “gearing up” because we want to “gear down” – to simplify our lives, to rid ourselves of the physical clutter that has accumulated over 35+ years of marriage and 17+ years of living in this house.   And so I have to start somewhere!  And this seems like the best place – in the basement - often likened to the sub-conscious where our inner clutter lies… J  This should be fun…

There is a neighborhood garage sale mid-May where we will try to sell a lot of this “clutter” stuff, which means cleaning out the garage.  Then we will start an e-bay store to try to sell the more “valuable” clutter. J  In the mean time it means several rounds of decluttering - deciding what to throw out, what to give away, what goes to garage sale, and what goes to ebay. It’s a daunting task – at least from my current perspective.  When I *think* about it all I start to feel overwhelmed.  So much for meeting life events as they come – they are coming too fast, and I am feeling a little out of control. J  So as you may have gathered I am resisting.  Like writing this blog post instead of digging into the rubble of my life J 

I discovered that the mind loves the “busyness,” finds it soothing, because it has a focus, “to do” lists, going from one thing to the next on the list, which doesn’t leave much time for meditative Silence and time for just Being – which I need a lot of.  I’ve not had a quiet day yet this week – and I can feel a case of the crankies coming on. J  But I took some time perusing what needs to be done in the back “garden” today, snapping photos, and felt the Presence of Silence in the solitude there.  I’m thinking this is where I’ll start – scraping planter tubs and chairs, and weeding out the detritus…  Very therapeutic… J

Part of the reason I want to gear down is to have more time for living what truly matters, not burdened with house and chores, which means letting go of the clutter that tends to take up the time - and dam the Life Flow... This requires listening to a deeper Flow - the deeper internal, intuitive Flow of Inner Being that runs through me, and through life; paying attention to the Spirit of Life within – to what *feels* right and what doesn’t; getting the priorities straight – waiting for the “yes” – putting the Inner Flow first.  Letting myself sink into those Silent depths within for only a few minutes a day reminds me of the deeper Flow that remains undisturbed by the chaos of life events, the Flow that actually carries me through the day…

~


“We are all innately aware that
 a deeper truth exists within us
than our day-to-day existence
and mundane concerns…
We must live life from
this more encompassing
state of Being -
and understand our
divine nature -
giving us
a means
to
enliven
a
truer identification
with
 the
 stunning
 beauty
 of our
    Being.”

Dennis Holtje


10 comments:

  1. Christine - nice of you to let us in for a visit. I can relate to seeking out busyness and missing out on the silence. Hope your effort will be a great success and that you post 'after' pictures too!

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    1. LOL :) Oh dear,,, I was not "seeking out" busyness - rather complaining about how busyness at this time of year seems to take over - bringing me out of my silent hibernation :) Yes, I hope to post "after" pictures - but it may take a while!

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  2. the harmony between doing & being… being faith & responsible... Oh, but I think we all feel that way sometimes, Christine. I know I do! :o) The energy of the season does call to us. I remember last year, when I was having some health issues, and how the seasonal energies seemed to conflict very much with my body--strange stuff! But it is lovely to see all that's growing in your garden! I empathize and sympathize very much with what you're doing at home. Having been making big efforts in the downsizing department here too, it's not easy. And those corners of the house that we don't really pay attention to or see--out of sight, out of mind--often house things that can trip us up. We found out downszing to be very much a physical as well as emotional journey. We identify too much with our possession. And you're so right, the mind loves being busy with it all--all the thinking, the remembering, the emotions,the resisting, the reshuffling of stuff during the resisting--it's all fodder for keeping that cycling going. ;o) Something I found helpful, while we were downsizing, and literally picking through every piece & item we've accumlated over the year--in the deciding what stays, what goes--in the deciding what goes... gently releasing it. Both physically and in the mind. Saying goodbye can help! Less we have the more space we have to welcome what truly matter and hold it more tenderly. The less we have to deal with the more space and time we have for that great relationship with the Divine. And that's what life is really all about, I think. Cultivating that Diving relationship, not cataloging and rearranging our possession. Do wish you well on this journey. Because it can feel like a journey... LOL! We're "done", but you know, there's still pockets of things we could do without. Such a process! Sorry so long this, but I can so relate! ((HEART-HUGS)) P.S. Salmon-pink for garden chairs--yes! ;o) You know me and pink... LOL! And yes, some "after" photos would be fun!

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    1. Thank you Tracy for the lovely words of encouragement. I will certainly need them as I travel down *this* road :) as it is hard to stay motivated. And my internal energies are not always in tune with the seasons - which is why I'm finding it difficult to "gear up." :)

      Definitely part of the reason to do all this is to have more time and a little less space for living what matters, for me anyway... And so true, it is a process. Fortunately I'm not feeling really attached the things in the basement, as we have known for a long time that we want to get rid of it. But am sure there will be layers of de-cluttering and letting go :) and maybe even a sense of relief.

      As for the color, was thinking more of a red salmon, or even a terra cotta... :)

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  3. hello old friend.

    getting the hands into soil is a treasured way of reconnecting. busy-work that is yet stillness too.

    i wish i could be there with you in your basement, lending a hand. i adore de-cluttering. the energy this time of year lends it's own helping hand.

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    1. Hey Monica - Thanks for coming over and leaving your lovely comment. Yes, I felt that yesterday in the garden - a connection with stillness - even if I'll be scraping paint and weeding. :) And thanks for the offer to help with the de-cluttering... :) I'm sure I will find a rhythm with that too. For me it's a matter of getting started... But now that I've made it public - lol - I'll *have* to get started and keep going!

      And you know how it is with Adrenal Fatigue - some days the energy just isn't there...

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  4. OOOH, yes to Monica wanting to help you Mystic. So much more fun to declutter with someone. All those choices as to what to do with things. Exhausting. I am still doing it with my Dad's stuff and my brother's stuff mainly. It seems to go on and on and I swear the stuff reproduces in the night.

    I agree that doing the garden would be therapeutic and fun. lovely herbs you have there. Guess all mine died last year (except for chives) as I let the garden grow over last year.

    A neighborhood yard sale though. Wish we had that here as I'd theoretically like to have a yd sale although generally I think they are more work than what one brings in. Esp out here on the boondock road. Good luck with all you are doing. I agree that spring seems to bring that do it energy. Hugs, Suki

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    1. Yeah, we could have a de-clutter party! LOL It does seem endless, exhausting and hard to stay motivated. I'm already overwhelmed! How do you keep your motivation up?!

      Yes, I think starting in the garden will be therapeutic - because I have to look at it everyday. :) I will add more herbs too - like the Thyme that didn't come up, and Dill, and Marjoram, if I can find it this year. Maybe some Basil too. There is a row of 4 front tubs that didn't show in any of the photos above, that I will put flowers in.

      We are having second thoughts about the garage sale idea already. We've done them before and it *is* a lot of work for what you get, plus, B needs to focus on his job right now as there is a new manager coming in. It means I would be doing it myself - and you know how that is... So am rethinking that one. Maybe put it off until Fall...

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  5. Ah, the flurry of Spring time chores. I too have felt compelled to get it all done before I leave on my trip to Ireland and Scotland. I hope I don't carry the urgency with me across the pond! There is a time to rake and a time to reflect...a time to paint and a time to ponder...first the one and then the other.

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    1. Thanks Patricia :) Oh, I hope you don't carry it with you, for sure! :) I'm finding at my age, and with chronic health conditions, I have to do a little at a time, which means everything always looks unfinished. The wabi-sabi look :) Gives me a chance to work on my perfectionism. :) LOL

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