Come meander with me on the pathless path of the Heart
in these anecdotal,
sometimes inspiring, sometimes personal meanderings of the Heart's opening in the every-day-ness of life...

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Living "Sabbatically"...

Over the last several years I've lamented about wanting
to carve out a "sabbatical life" - you know, living a monk's
life :) - spending my days in Silence and Solitude, meditating,
continuously aware of the Divine Presence; living life from
the deep Inner Rhythm within; from the Silence of Being;
not *in* silence, necessarily, but living from the deep pool
of Stillness within and not be driven by the requirements
of daily living.

And yet, in reality, I am continually pulled outward into
the requirements of daily living with its ups and downs;
preoccupations with family and relationship, including
helping to care for my mother for 8 1/2 years, until her death
this March;  and then the practical aftermath of settling her
affairs, which still isn't over; many times not meditating at all
due to exhaustion, as well as dealing with my own health.
I am often weary of existence...

But - that's just how life is...  It's like that for a lot of us;
dealing with what we have to deal with...

Sometimes I think I must be delusional to think that it is
possible to live according to the Inner Rhythm, focusing on
the Inner Life.  I am just an ordinary person wanting to know
the Truth of Existence in the waning years of my existence here...

It's not so much that I want to "take" a "sabbatical" *from*
life - well maybe sometimes - :) as I want to find a way to *live*
"sabbatically" - living a quiet life, unencumbered, according to
my own natural rhythms, and the deeper Rhythm within.  I don't
see it as an escape from life, but a call to a way of being in the
world, and yet it eludes me most of the time...

When I ride the waves of this Inner Rhythm in meditative Silence,
I can feel the chaotic surface waves dissipate as I fall into
Sacred Silence - and rest.  At times it is easy to make the distinction
between life as it is and the *idea* of "sabbatical life" - creating a
separation between the two where there is none.  In fact, it is more
one's orientation to life and living that matters - one's relationship
with life as it is - and with "The Ineffable Mystery"...
I'm still working on that balance...

I know that ultimately it's not either/or, but both/and:
living in acceptance of life as it is - surrendering to where Life
wants to flow - reflecting the wholeness of Being that we are,
and living fully from a deep, abiding *awareness* of the Sacred
Silence that perpetually flows through us - and - the awareness
that it's really all "The Mystery" living ItSelf out here anyway...

So I may have romanticized the "sabbatical life", but it still
calls to me.  Silence and Solitude feel like a very deep and
vital need - like breathing.
The Silence is Home.

The "key" seems to be - to be willing to face into the realities
of living life as it is, the requirements of daily living - while
at the same time being deeply *aware* of the deeper Rhythm
within; not having any preconceived ideas of what "sabbatical
life" should look like, but being open to The Flow of the Inner
Life - while learning to ride the waves of daily life as they come.
They are not in opposition to each other, but flow together.


Mystics are people who quest for wisdom or for God,
[or for the Truth of Existence, etc.], not in the world of
externals but in the microcosm of their own soul.  There
they allow themselves to be fully present to the experiences
of a deep-felt joy or sorrow, or beauty or suffering, of gain
or loss, so that these opposing poles might in time reconcile
and grow and ripen into a harmonious whole - which wells
up as peace that defies all rational explanation...

Anne Mari Kidder, Editor of
Etty Hillesum: Essential Writings


Photo - Mystic Meandering

No comments:

Post a Comment

All comments are subject to moderation