"Inner Opening" - Ivan Granger

Most of us spend our entire lives avoiding an inner opening.
It is that quiet itch at the back of awareness that makes us
squirm and turn away.  And when it really presses on us,
it can arouse terror, as if we were facing down death.

...to approach it is to face death.  It is the death of our old
worldview, the death of patterned awareness, the death of
our limited notion of who we are.  All we thought ourselves
 to be stops - and so it is a sort of death.  To feel that grace
approaching , to welcome it, requires a wild sort of courage.

It requires courage and, yes, surrender.  We have this idea
that spiritual opening is a terrible effort.  No.  That unfolding
wants to occur within us.  The only effort is to let go of our
endless strategies to halt the process.  We all feel it, a gentle
prodding to let the heart open, to know ourselves truly, to be
present and radiate ourselves into the world.

That opening is insistent, trying to happen within us.  Call it
grace, if you like.  The question is before us: Do we
courageously accept the invitation?

For those of us who live in modern urban society, think how
hard it is to stop the ticking of the clock.  From an early age
we internalize the sense of time and progress and deadlines.
Yet, in doing so, we forget that these are all just concepts,
just one way to understand the unfolding of being and
experience.  That sense of time is a powerful tool for doing
and accomplishment, but it isn't inherently real.  It doesn't
have much to do with who or what we are.  There is a flow
of days and months, but they are the surface current of a
much deeper timelessness.

It is fascinating how we use the hyperactivity of thought to
define the world.  The other thing about thought: it creates time.
When thought settles down, we discover timelessness. ...the
mind comes to rest, not in the head, but in the heart.

Having come to rest, we remember.  It is not through intellection
but through stillness that we remember.  Remember.  Re-member.
To remember is to finally see how the apparent separation of
reality actually fits together in a single wholeness.  Discursive
thought can only ever examine pieces of the whole.  To re-member
is to have the full vision of Wholeness, as things actually are.
But this vision is found in timelessness and stillness, through the
quiet mind unfiltered.

Ivan Granger
Poetry Chaikhana

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Still - and still moving - T.S.Eliot

"Home" is where we start from.  As we grow older
The world becomes stranger, the pattern more complicated
Of dead and living.  Not the intense moment
Isolated, with no before and after, 
But a lifetime burning in every moment
And not the lifetime of one man only
But of old stones that cannot be deciphered.
There is a time for the evening under lamplight
(The evening with the photograph album.)
Love is most nearly itself
When here and now cease to matter.

Old men ought to be explorers
Here or there does not matter
We must be still and still moving
Into another intensity

....for a deeper communion.....

T. S. Eliot

from East Coker V, Four Quartets

With thanks to Love Is A Place

~

Still your mind in me, still yourself in me
and you shall be united with me,
the One Love, dwelling in your heart.

Bhagavad Gita

With thanks to Love Is A Place

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Without Stillness There Can Be No Knowing - Sigurd Olson

The sun was trembling now on the edge of the ridge.
It was alive, almost fluid and pulsating, and as I watched
it sink, I thought that I could feel the earth turning from it,
actually feel its rotation.  Overall was the silence of the
wilderness, that sense of oneness which comes only when
there are no distracting sights or sounds, when we listen
with inward ears and see with inward eyes, when we feel
and are aware with our entire beings rather than our senses.
I thought as I sat of the ancient admonition,
 "Be still and know that I am God," and knew that without
stillness there can be no knowing, without divorcement from
outside influences man cannot know what spirit means.

Sigurd Olson, The Singing Wilderness

with thanks to Heron Dance

~

I turn within...  I am not turning up to the sky - I am not turning
anywhere outside of my own being - I am not looking around for
holy temples or holy teachers or holy books.  I am turning within.

Here am I.  The very seat and source of God [The Divine, or
however one knows "God"] within me.  The abiding place
of God [The Divine].  God is within the inner sanctuary of
my own being.  I am not seeking for my life, what I shall eat or
what I shall drink.  I am not seeking for health, employment 
or opportunities.  I am seeking.....Grace.

Joel S. Goldsmith
Contemplative Mystic

with thanks to Love Is A Place

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Still Waters - Tao Daily Meditation

If waters are placid, the moon will be mirrored perfectly.  If
we still ourselves, we can mirror the divine perfectly.  But if
we engage solely in the frenetic activities of our daily 
involvements, if we seek to impose our own schemes on the
natural order, and if we allow ourselves to become absorbed
in self-centered views, the surface of our waters becomes
turbulent.  Then we cannot be receptive to Tao.

There is no effort that we can make to still ourselves.  True
stillness comes naturally from moments of solitude where
we allow our minds to settle.  Just as water seeks its own
level, the mind will gravitate toward the holy.  Muddy water
will become clear if allowed to stand undisturbed, and so
too will the mind become clear if it is allowed to be still.

Deng Ming-Dao, from "365 Tao, Daily Meditations"

with thanks to Heron Dance

 

"Stilling" - Kathleen Knipp

Consider what would feel "stilling", calming, settling.
Many traditions teach "be still" and that stillness can be a
stilling of the body.  Finding a position in which the body
can remain still has the effect of stilling the mind to some
extent. Stilling has an effect on the body as well as the mental
and emotional faculties.  Just as emotions have an effect on
the physical body they can influence the experience of 
emotions and thoughts.  So becoming still is happening on
multiple levels simultaneously. As the process of stilling
ceases, you become more aware of the breath that's always
happening...

As we become more still, the more subtle aspects of our Being
are more evident.  In stillness we have a greater capacity to open
to listening, to pure listening, not with the ears, or listening for
something, or to something.  Just listening - availability.

In stilling the body and stilling the mind we become more
present to that which is - what's here - which can manifest in
an infinite variety of ways.  What's here is ever changing, ever
renewing.

Allowing the body to be as it is gives the emotions and thoughts
the freedom to move and change.

As we become more still, that which is essential becomes
more apparent, that which is most important, the sense of a
"greater purpose", the "feeling" of being drawn/called toward
that which may be beyond our comprehension, beyond explanation,
beyond words.  Yet in the stillness it is felt as a bodily experience.
Yield to it, trust, knowing that it takes care of itself.  Just fall into
the stream, as the flow of life flows through us.

As we become still there may be a sense of ease, softening,
equanimity.  Meet what arises with an attitude of openness and
curiosity.  It is constantly changing and ever evolving.  Sensing
beyond the habits of the mind and surface turbulence there is
great stillness, unfathomable stillness...

Stillness that just is....

Kathleen Knipp
excerpts from a Yoga Nidra Meditation

original title - "be still"

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Resting in the Womb of Creation - Kathleen Knipp

...The body is one radiant mass of Aliveness,
the Aliveness that just Is...  Feel the pulse of the Universe throb
through, giving up any struggle, any need to do or know; to 
figure out...  Just resting, being breathed...

The natural flow of thoughts and emotions will continue...
Slip behind or below the thoughts and emotions like an
ocean with waves and froth on the top - surface turbulence.
Sink down beneath, deep down, below all the movement
of the mind, resting in absolute stillness; the vast silence
of the Ocean of Pure Awareness, Pure Beingness...

There may be a sense of being pulled, drawing you deeper
and deeper into the silence, into a stillness beyond
comprehension and words, receding into the womb of
creation before time, deeply resting, being held in a feeling
of ease and well-being that is familiar...

Kathleen Knipp
Excerpt from a Yoga Nidra Meditation
Resting in the Womb of Creation

~

Photo from the Internet

 

A Quiet Spirit - Henry David Thoreau

 When I detect a beauty in any of the recesses of nature,
I am reminded by the serene and retired spirit in which it
requires to be contemplated, of the inexpressible privacy of life -
how silent and unambitious it is.
The beauty there in mosses will have to be considered from
the holiest, quietest nook.

My truest, serenest moments are too still for emotions...

~

To be calm, to be serene!
There is the calmness of the lake when there is not a breath
of wind; there is the calmness of a stagnant ditch.  So it is
with us.
Sometimes we are clarified and calmed healthily, as we never 
were before in our lives, not by an opiate, but by some 
unconscious obedience to the all-just laws,
so that we become like a still lake of purest crystal
and without an effort our depths are revealed to ourselves.

~

I awoke into a music which no one by me heard.
Whom shall I thank for it?  I feel it a blessing.
To the sane man the world is a musical instrument.
The very touch affords an exquisite pleasure.

Henry David Thoreau

taken from a journal entry, June 22, 1851

with thanks to The Beauty We Love

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

Utter Stillness...

Utter Stillness,
within and without,
comforts, nurtures,
claims me as its own...

Sweet repose in Stillness...
beyond noise,
beyond feeling,
beyond thought,
beyond story.

Utter Stillness does not anticipate,
does not seek.
It just IS...
aware-ing,
seeing,
knowing.
To reside in Utter Stillness
is pure Being,
pure Awareness of Being,
pure Life...

From the Spaciousness of Utter Stillness
life is just experienced...

no conclusions,
no interpretations,
no judgments,

no reactions,
no labels...

Just Life being lived...

Utter Stillness...

Sweet Refuge...

Mystic Meandering
2010

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

Living "Sabbatically"...

Over the last several years I've lamented about wanting
to carve out a "sabbatical life" - you know, living a monk's
life :) - spending my days in Silence and Solitude, meditating,
continuously aware of the Divine Presence; living life from
the deep Inner Rhythm within; from the Silence of Being;
not *in* silence, necessarily, but living from the deep pool
of Stillness within and not be driven by the requirements
of daily living.

And yet, in reality, I am continually pulled outward into
the requirements of daily living with its ups and downs;
preoccupations with family and relationship, including
helping to care for my mother for 8 1/2 years, until her death
this March;  and then the practical aftermath of settling her
affairs, which still isn't over; many times not meditating at all
due to exhaustion, as well as dealing with my own health.
I am often weary of existence...

But - that's just how life is...  It's like that for a lot of us;
dealing with what we have to deal with...

Sometimes I think I must be delusional to think that it is
possible to live according to the Inner Rhythm, focusing on
the Inner Life.  I am just an ordinary person wanting to know
the Truth of Existence in the waning years of my existence here...

It's not so much that I want to "take" a "sabbatical" *from*

life - well maybe sometimes - :) as I want to find a way to *live*

"sabbatically" - living a quiet life, unencumbered, according to
my own natural rhythms, and the deeper Rhythm within.  I don't
see it as an escape from life, but a call to a way of being in the
world, and yet it eludes me most of the time...

When I ride the waves of this Inner Rhythm in meditative Silence,
I can feel the chaotic surface waves dissipate as I fall into
Sacred Silence - and rest.  At times it is easy to make the distinction
between life as it is and the *idea* of "sabbatical life" - creating a
separation between the two where there is none.  In fact, it is more
one's orientation to life and living that matters - one's relationship
with life as it is - and with "The Ineffable Mystery"...
I'm still working on that balance...

I know that ultimately it's not either/or, but both/and:
living in acceptance of life as it is - surrendering to where Life
wants to flow - reflecting the wholeness of Being that we are,
and living fully from a deep, abiding *awareness* of the Sacred
Silence that perpetually flows through us - and - the awareness
that it's really all "The Mystery" living ItSelf out here anyway...

So I may have romanticized the "sabbatical life", but it still
calls to me.  Silence and Solitude feel like a very deep and
vital need - like breathing.
The Silence is Home.

The "key" seems to be - to be willing to face into the realities
of living life as it is, the requirements of daily living - while
at the same time being deeply *aware* of the deeper Rhythm
within; not having any preconceived ideas of what "sabbatical
life" should look like, but being open to The Flow of the Inner
Life - while learning to ride the waves of daily life as they come.
They are not in opposition to each other, but flow together.

~

Mystics are people who quest for wisdom or for God,
[or for the Truth of Existence, etc.], not in the world of
externals but in the microcosm of their own soul.  There
they allow themselves to be fully present to the experiences
of a deep-felt joy or sorrow, or beauty or suffering, of gain
or loss, so that these opposing poles might in time reconcile
and grow and ripen into a harmonious whole - which wells
up as peace that defies all rational explanation...

Anne Mari Kidder, Editor of
Etty Hillesum: Essential Writings

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

A Unitive Place...

In these sometimes harsh, divisive times
one must dive deep and refocus
on the depths of the Stillness of Being within oneself,
moving inward beyond the polarities of existence
where nothing is disturbed, nothing harmed...

There we will find a deeper unitive place of Restful Presence,
knowing that externally it's just the duality of existence
playing itself out in the construct of time...

In the Primordial Womb of Stillness,
in which matter reality exists,
everything is allowed...

The world will go the way it goes -
life will continue to unfold as it unfolds -
the light and the dark will continue to dance together -
in time bound reality.

If we focus only on the divisive chaos we will
react out of the mind-created contractions of fear and ignorance...

If we are able to experience the depths of this True Silence,
the Silence of the Everlasting Depths of Existence,
we can experience what's beyond the outward mentations
of chaos and fear:
- the Silence that holds the Cosmos together -
- that is the Cosmos -

the enduring Silence of the Universe within all form;
the pure Stillness of Being...

The Unitive Place...

In this deep Silence that sustains Existence
we Rest...in the True Heart of That which animates Life...

The True Timeless Heartbeat of Reality...

_/\_

Namaste

Mystic Meandering
Jan. 5, 2018

~

Photo - Vortex Art
2011
Craypas Oils
done with fingers

In Turbulent Times...

In these turbulent times of upheaval
on the surface of life,
dive deep...
into the Stillness of Being within,
where nothing is disturbed, nothing is harmed...

Externally it's all "The Mystery" playing
itself out in the construct of time - the Unmanifest in form.

In the Greater Context in which life takes place,
everything is allowed...
The world will go the way it goes -
life will continue to unfold the way it unfolds -
the light and the dark will continue to dance together -
in time-bound reality.

Do not focus only on the chaos;
mind-created contractions of fear and ignorance.

Instead...  Turn within...

Experience the depths of True Stillness,
the Stillness of the Everlasting Deep,
experience what's beyond the chaos and fear
- what holds the Cosmos together -
the enduring hum of Aliveness within all form...

Held in The Rhythm of Stillness that sustains Existence,
that IS Existence, Rest...
in the Embrace of That which animates all Life...

_/\_

Namaste

Mystic Meandering
Meditative Writings
Nov. 2016

~

Come into Peace...

Even in the midst of chaos there is Peace...
Even in the midst of complexity there is Simplicity...
Even in the midst of confusion there is Stability...

In everything there is Love...

Mystic Meandering
2006

The Silence Calls...

Silence called me to the window again.
She beckoned me to come and be still,
to listen…

She waited for me to settle,
to be quiet…
Waited as I deepened
into her Stillness…

No agenda, She whispered…

I listened…

Put everything aside and just breathe, She said.
Be aware of My Breath, breathing you…
Experience my Presence,
Feel my Fullness,
Sense the Intimacy
in every cell…

From the depths of Stillness
I heard Her call again,
calling me back to HerSelf.
Like the Great Ocean pulling back
the waves on shore,
back to Itself…
The wave giving in to the pull…

The Great Silence called
again and again;
the silent rhythmic intimacy of wave and Ocean,
one and the same…

The Silence embracing ItSelf,
knowing only
ItSelf…

The Eternal Embrace…

Come – She whispered…
Follow the pull…
Give in…
Come Home…

Mystic Meandering

Aug/Sept. 2010

Photo: The inside of a seashell 

The Silent Flame...

Empty out everything except Silence,
the
still
hush
of

S
i
l
e
n
c
e

the
deep
Stillness
of the Heart…


Lay it all down – just breath the Silence,
the Stillness of Being.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve been taught,
what words you have heard,
what beliefs you have believed…

Lay it all down – just listen to the Silence,
the deep Rhythm of the Heart.

Unconcern yourself with words,
beliefs - concepts of the dreaming mind.
Fill yourself with the Rhythm of the Stillness…

Lay it all down – just *live* from the Silence;
the still space within the Heart.

Live from the Silent Flame
that burns in your Heart;
brighter than any words,
any teachings, any beliefs,
revealing everything.

…

Live
in
the
Still
Point
of

S
i
l
e
n
c
e
.
.
.



©Mystic Meandering
December 19, 2010

The Silence of which I speak is a
meditative Silence, a sacred Silence
in which we are aware of what is Aware
within us; where we are in communion with
that Eternal Being – that which is
our Essence…

From Fear To Stillness...

Yesterday I was perusing the internet with its plethora of “spiritual teachers” looking for YouTube videos that might give me insight on this deep-seated anxiety that I’ve been experiencing…  I don’t know what made me look up Mooji, as I sometimes do– a big gentle Jamaican (www.mooji.org).  There were several videos with the word “fear” in the title.  I picked two.  I found Truth in his words, bringing me back to the Truth in myself.  Sometimes that’s all it takes, someone to point you back to the Truth of your Self – your True Nature.

The following words are excerpts from the two videos.  I have put Mooji's words in poetic form, but they are not meant to be a poem.

“The mind fears…

What is the message in the fear?

Find the message in the fear…

Fear empties itself as soon as there is revelation…

YOU (the True Self) *are* before the movement of fear that arises…
Realize your Self that is before time, before phenomenon…

Wake up to the recognition of your Eternal Self.

[That is] the Awareness in which fear occurs.

Just keep quiet.

Don’t identify the reactions and interactions,

just *feel* your Existence

and

let the fear burn off…

Identify the Presence that sees,
and stay with this Presence,
and you’ll come to a place of
complete [internal] Stillness…

There is Stillness in that space of fear…

When fear is met
what expands is a sense of spaciousness…

There is an intuitive sense that you and the spaciousness
of Stillness are one.
There *is* no separation…

In this place your mind of fear will not have much power
because you’re in your

Natural State of Awareness…”
Mooji

I have a long way to go on this adventure of meeting this life-long anxiety and its message, but I am committed to the journey.  As Mooji has also said – “Stay in the Heart.  Only keep your eyes on ‘The Beloved’” – meaning the inner spaciousness of Stillness, Awareness, Self, or Buddha Nature, or Christ Consciousness – however you know that to be.  Home…

These are the links for Mooji’s videos.

From Fear To Stillness
Attacks of Fear

There are of course many other “teachers” with videos and books who address such issues.
It just happened that I found these…

Resting in the Depths...

"…make the final leap into awareness
without the slightest basis for determining
what is spiritual or not -
this bare state with no reference point
is beyond the cage of philosophy.

…rest in infinite evenness –
…experience the true nature of
phenomena, as their equalness.

There are no gods to worship,
no demons to exorcise,
nothing to cultivate in meditation.
This is the completely ordinary state.

With the single state of evenness
there is openness,
a relaxed and unstructured openness.

How delightful -
things are timelessly
ensured without having to be done,
and being free of effort
and achievement,
you are
content."

Longchenpa
Dzogchen

"Silence is the deepest teaching.
It gives you access to the deeper
dimension of Being..."

Adyashanti

"Go within yourself
and probe the depths
from which your life springs,
and there at its source
you’ll find
the answer..."


Rainer Maria Rilke
A Year With Rilke

Enter deeply into the depths of Being.
Allow yourself to sink more fully,
more completely into Being ~
into intimacy with
internal Stillness…

Allow your body and mind
to experience
the Fullness,
the Spaciousness,
the Presence,
the Knowingness,
the Awareness
of Silence…

Go into the very core
of Being ~
the all encompassing,
all embracing
Rest of Being…



Mystic Meandering
Meditative writings
2004-2006

November Sky...

“He who can hear Love
can hear Silence.
He who can hear Silence
can hear Love.

All the words of the world bow
and pay homage to Silence’s song."


Kabir

“Let peace work on you
and enable you to gather your
scattered mind into
the mindfulness of Calm Abiding.”

“Above all, be at ease,
be as natural and spacious as possible.
Slip quietly out of the noose
of your habitual anxious self,
and relax into your true nature.”

Nyashul Khenppo

“Here is where the adventure begins,
the adventure of not knowing…
but simply standing still.
The task turns out to be ceding to stillness,
and in that stillness the recognition of
just this…”

“Stop pretending
you don’t know
the fundamental nature
of your being…”

Joan Ruvinsky
Pathless Yoga

“…over time wonders were revealed,
chief among them the light
of conscious awareness…”

”The light turned out to be
my truest home -
what was most abiding.”

Tracy Cochran
Finding a Path

The Flame of Stillness...

Move
into
the
depths
of
Stillness

~ Internal Stillness ~

as
Stillness
draws
you
in
d
e
e
p
e
r
.
.
.



Touch the depths of Stillness within…
The Dynamic Stillness that is the core of all Life…

Feel the movement of It.
the subtlety,
the fluidity,
the rhythm ~


~ Just suspend in the embrace of Stillness ~


~ Just Being ~


Do not come seeking solutions,
remedies, or answers…
Just settle
into
the
deep
Stillness
that is
Life
ItSelf,
and let It
nourish
you.


Breathe
into
S
t
i
l
l
n
e
s
s
~
~
~


When movement comes from
deep Stillness within,
from Silence,
it has no fore-thought,
no thinking,
no planning,
no deciding.

It just
flows
from
the
depths
of
Life
ItSelf,

for the simple delight
of Being ItSelf ~
the delight of Life ~
animating ItSelf…

~

There is only the deep Stillness;
the deep, impenetrable, enfolding,
Light of Stillness,
shining Its brilliance
unendingly,
inextinguishable;
an eternal Flame,
Ever-Present

S
t
i
l
l
n
e
s
s
.
.
.

~

Mystic Meandering
copyright
August 2011


Art: The Flame of Stillness

Taking Refuge...

I realized through this ‘bout with illness the last few weeks that I have just been dancing on the surface of life, leaping from wave to wave, being driven by life events, life circumstances, family needs, focused only on what’s happening at the surface, trying not to be overwhelmed by other waves crashing around me. But of course, there it was, overwhelm that lead to illness. And most recently discovering that when one is “ill” one tends to fixate on the body and what’s wrong with the body – losing sight of the *depth* of Being that underlies it all.

It was also realized that what is needed here is deep rest and taking refuge in this deep Stillness of Being that is the Ocean of Life; sensing – again - what it feels like to live life from and as this deep place of Stillness – from the awareness and *knowing* of this Stillness that is Life.

So I am diving deep these days, taking refuge and resting in the deep Stillness of Being that is Home – experiencing what it feels like to BE well again in the core of my Being…

“I” shall return to blogging as the Ocean moves me, as the Inner Voice leads, as Stillness speaks, etc. In the mean time I’ll enjoy being inspired by all your wonderful blogs!

~ ♥ ~

Tea with Ang Ziety

Maybe you know Ang Ziety? She hangs out a lot with me. She’s like an undercurrent hum of an electrical buzz – the neurons on overload and over-stimulation, misfiring, creating havoc in this body… She’s been with me all my life actually, you’d think we’d be in better relationship by now. But, she’s unpredictable and neurotic so I never know what to expect. And I tend to try to keep a lid on her, relegating her to the underground so she won’t spiral out of control. But she refuses to stay there, which actually is a good thing.

I have had tea with her many times before, befriending her. I danced with her in the shower, and met her in “The Cave.” I have used a variety of techniques to address her throughout the years: Byron Katie –Loving What Is - the 4 questions work (read it 3 times); Tara Brach’s wonderful book – Radical Acceptance; Pema Chodron – The Places That Scare You; Richard Moss – The Mandala of Being – love this book; Debbie Ford – The Dark Side of the Light Chasers is a particularly good book for understanding and working with shadow aspects. And then there’s always the “inner child work” books, and so forth. And, I’ve had lots of “therapy.” :) I know there is much debate out there on the efficacy of “the psychological approach” for what ails mankind – I found it helpful. All the teachings, techniques and therapies seemed to help when I was working with them – easing the angst of anxiety for a while, but never really “curing” it. What I mean by “cure” is a deep abiding shift in perception and a re-identification with our authentic Being. Anxiety, despite all my insights and practices has not significantly shifted. The anxious mind still wreaks havoc like a child with ADHD, constantly needing re-direction and re-focus. So there must be something deeper that needs to be addressed.

Over the years I have developed my own ways of addressing her. I do not presume to tell anyone how to work with their demons. We each have to find our own way. I am just sharing my experience here. When I’m not frightened by my little gremlins of fear, I see them as little orphans who just want to be acknowledged, embraced, fed and loved. Their underlying issues have been disowned, roaming out on the streets, homeless. They need to be brought home to the Womb of the Heart again. So I welcome them by recognizing their presence, dialoging with them in my journal, holding an energetic space for them to be here, and introduce them to the Heart of Being once again.

Anyway, Ang and I sat last Wednesday.

Initially I ask a few general questions like: What is the truth of this anxiety? What is needed here? Or, more specifically - what does Anxiety want/need – sometimes giving her a name. I mindfully ask questions until the “right” one resonates from within. And then I sit, waiting for the “answer” from within. It became clear that the “answer” this time was that she needed a sense of security and stability. I could not offer her those biscuits at the moment. Life just isn’t that way right now.

In sitting with Ang, acknowledging her fear, feeling her in my body, moving with her, the image of a hyper child, or a hyper puppy, experiencing separation anxiety emerged. Over the years I have discovered that Ang needs lots and lots of reassurance to *not* feel separate, abandoned, or threatened by life’s changes. She needs to learn to trust that she is in fact not separate from Source at all, and that she will be supported by That… Convincing her is not easy however. Life is pretty groundless at the moment.

Each time I sit with Ang and look into anxiety I discover the same root cause of Ang’s angst: a deep sense of separateness from that which I *know* myself to be – the True Self – Being – pure Awareness. Ang somehow feels “disconnected” from this felt sense of the deep Stillness of the Inner Being – our True Nature - and can’t seem to find her way back Home. She is like a frightened child that, once separated from the womb, did not develop a sense of security, stability and trust in her inner Knowing Awareness. It also became quite clear that “I” had identified with Ang, with anxiety. “I” became her. “I” bought into the identity of being an anxious, separate person, developing a kind of attachment to anxiety. And when “I” *believes* her thought streams “I” feels separate. I can’t explain it, it just happens this way – despite *knowing* that we are never separate from Source. Separation is evidently a very deeply engrained neural pattern in mankind.

Tara Brach says something to the effect that it is harder for people who have experienced serious trauma early in life to trust their inner Being, to trust that “The Beloved”, is there for them. That is - seeing “The Beloved” inside themselves - *as* themselves – knowing That is who they are, and trusting That. I understand this…

I end by asking: How does Being want to relate to this anxiety? The answer is always – with compassion, gentleness and love – not trying to get rid of her, or make her behave, but seeing what the deeper need is and addressing that – the wound of separation. And evidently what Ang needs is some experiential re-programming from within. Ah-ha!

Ultimately, what I understand over and over again is that it all comes down to – “entrainment” – entrainment with Being. By that I mean experiencing a *felt sense* of Inner Beingness – beyond training the mind in methods and techniques – an actual, felt experience of the Stillness of Being that we are. This comes through a willingness to sit with That which we are – our Beingness/Source – until we are fully established in That; re-identifying *as* That which we are. The only way I have found to do that is to actually get a felt sense experience of what “That” feels like. So the more I relax into Being, meditate on what this BEingness that I am feels like - becoming aware of the Spaciousness of pure Awareness - the more I entrain *experientially* with that which “I” is – eventually *re-cognizing* a seamless intimacy with That.

So Ang and ”I” meet in “the chair”, at the Pool of Awareness, bask in the beautiful Stillness beyond stillness, and relax into Beingness. It is the true Elixer for what ails the wound of separation…

~*~


Meditating is not the only way to experience our True Nature – Being.
There are many ways to relax into this Space.
Massage, Music, Nature, Contemplative Dance,
Contemplative Art and Photography…
Qi Gong, Tai Chi,
Energy work – given and received,
Mindfulness in daily living,
awareness of what in us is Awake and Aware – Being.