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in these anecdotal,
sometimes inspiring, sometimes personal meanderings of the Heart's opening in the every-day-ness of life...

Saturday, January 20, 2024

self-abandonment - April Tierney


Anger is a teacher
so let her teach you.

Let her point out all of the places
where you abandoned your sincerity [integrity]
along the side of the road

simply to appease
someone else-

Where you stopped following
the great arch of your mythic life.

Let her show you where you have
held yourself silent when the world

needed you to speak:
where your fierce wisdom
was cut off at the knees.

Our shadows have grown so grotesque,
we've mistaken them for culture,

but now is the time to re-member
what has been deliberately suppressed;
to prepare a grand feast for all the 
ghosts who've been starved by neglect.

Do not apologize when feathers fall
like nighthawks from your fiery eyes.


April Tierney
from Memory Keeper
note: I could not find the original title to this poem

with thanks to The Beauty We Love

~

I found this poem on January 8th,
the second day of "The Pause."
I titled it "self-abandonment"
because that is what I've been doing
for the last 15 months - becoming a shadow
of myself - becoming angry about "the visitor"
living in my house...

The poem reminded me that I don't have to sacrifice myself,
that I need to reclaim my authentic self that has been lost
for over a year, and embrace my humanity as part of my wholeness.

It feels good to refocus - not sacrificing myself just to appease
"the visitor"

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering


 

3 comments:

  1. Nice to see you back. It's true. No one should be a doormat, especially in their own home. :)

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    Replies
    1. It's a family dynamic thing :) also part of the conditioning of my childhood and role I take on as "the responsible one", "the caregiver," and also my people pleaser/accomodater/self-sacrificing part of own personality etc.

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    2. PS - I have been fortunate to find a "spiritual teacher" who has experience with having an alcoholic/addict in the family. It has been quite helpful to have a "guide" who understands those dynamics, from a "spiritual" perspective, to shine a light on it all, and help me to see and "let go" of my roles within the dynamic. :) It's a work in progress. :)

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