As I awoke one morning recently, it came to me in my
half sleep that I had to accept death...
That my current life experience may be the
beginning of my end -
and that I need to accept that...
half sleep that I had to accept death...
That my current life experience may be the
beginning of my end -
and that I need to accept that...
My body and mind immediately relaxed...
I get that it's not about getting my life back, as I have been
wanting, but about accepting the impermanence of my life;
of everything basically, including this particular life
circumstance; my *ideas* about how life is supposed to be,
or recovering my life, restoring it to what it was before...
wanting, but about accepting the impermanence of my life;
of everything basically, including this particular life
circumstance; my *ideas* about how life is supposed to be,
or recovering my life, restoring it to what it was before...
I've heard this all before,
through different spiritual traditions,
but this time it came from within
and was organic,,,
through different spiritual traditions,
but this time it came from within
and was organic,,,
It's about accepting impermanence,
accepting death; death of ways of life,
death of beliefs, death of ways of being,
death of the body...
accepting death; death of ways of life,
death of beliefs, death of ways of being,
death of the body...
Not trying to recapture, or restore everything
to the way it was - so that I can "finish" my life...
to the way it was - so that I can "finish" my life...
But letting go of the idea that Life has to be/go
a certain way...
a certain way...
There was great *relief* in realizing this
- a profound acceptance of reality...
- a profound acceptance of reality...
I felt freed of everything that has bound me:
ways of thinking, perspectives, feelings about life...
ways of thinking, perspectives, feelings about life...
And also realized that I have been resisting the little
deaths in my life - the changes that create disruption.
deaths in my life - the changes that create disruption.
*Everything* changes, *everything* dies,
that is - changes form; form transforms itself
continuously...
that is - changes form; form transforms itself
continuously...
It is the natural way of life itself;
it *is* the reality.
I'm going to die (my body that is) at some point and
maybe this life circumstance is just the
precursor to that,
the doorway to that...
maybe this life circumstance is just the
precursor to that,
the doorway to that...
But I keep trying to make this current experience
change, to stop in some way - resisting it -
when in reality it is an opening.
change, to stop in some way - resisting it -
when in reality it is an opening.
I was almost euphoric,
because changing my perspective means the end of
suffering, struggle, trying to make things happen, trying
to have a "spiritual" perspective about it all,
trying to find a way *out* of my experience...
because changing my perspective means the end of
suffering, struggle, trying to make things happen, trying
to have a "spiritual" perspective about it all,
trying to find a way *out* of my experience...
(although this shift is gradual, as I discovered)...
Everything is impermanent, transient...
I'm accepting (ongoing) that reality...
Mystic Meandering
Sept. 8, 2024
Sept. 8, 2024
~
Photo - Mystic Meandering
I'm also trying to straddle the letting go of things/my physical self and the connection with the all. I must spend way too much time daily taking care of the physical self, to the extent I get really tired and mad about it. And so each day I awaken and am grateful for all that is given to me, and do the best I can with what's available, and what I think is best to do next, and take the baby steps necessary to either remain at this stage of existence, or change as needed. I do know that wonderful letting go sigh, when there's a new way of looking at everything.
ReplyDeleteYes, I hear ya... the needs of the physical do seem to take over. Wishing you all the best as you navigate through this difficult time of life!
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ReplyDelete❤️ :)
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