Crossing the Threshold - John O'Donohue - for Solstice...

The following piece is an excerpt from a book called 
To Bless the Space Between Us, by Irish poet, philosopher,
author and priest, John O'Donohue

Sara Smeaten shares his words about what it means to move
from one experience to another, to cross into new ways of being,
what it means to end one thing and begin another, and 
ultimately, what it means to trust in the possibility that each
new threshold offers.

He reminds us that change has its own rhythm, its own course...
That it is happening even when we can't see it, and that it
can also be sudden and absolute.  His words are magical
and yet deeply practical

Sara Smeaton

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Change arrives in nature when time has ripened.  There are no
jagged transitions or crude discontinuities.  This accounts for the
sureness with which one season succeeds another.  It is as though
they were moving forward in a rhythm set from within a continuum.

So often we opt to continue the old pattern, rather than risking the
danger of difference.  We are also often surprised by change that
seems to arrive out of nowhere.

We find ourselves crossing some new threshold we had never
anticipated.  Like Spring secretly at work within the heart of winter,
below the surface of our lives huge changes are in fermentation.
We never suspect a thing.  Then when the grip of some long-
enduring winter mentality begins to loosen, we find ourselves
vulnerable to a flourish of possibility and we are suddenly
negotiating the challenge of a threshold.

To acknowledge and cross a new threshold is always a challenge.
It demands courage and also a sense of trust in whatever is
emerging.  This becomes essential when a threshold opens suddenly
in front of you, one for which you had no preparation [or choice].
This could be illness, suffering or loss.  Because we are so engaged
with the world, we usually forget how fragile life can be and how
vulnerable we always are.  It takes only a couple of seconds for
a life to change irreversibly.  Suddenly you stand on completely
strange ground and a new course of life has to be embraced.

Especially at such times we desperately need blessing and
protection.  You look back at the life you have lived up to a few
hours before, and it suddenly seems to far away.  Think for a 
moment how, across the world, someone's life has just changed -
irrevocably, permanently, and not necessarily for the better -
and everything that was once so steady, so reliable, must now
find a new way of unfolding...

.....we never know what destiny shapes each life.  The script of
individual destiny is secret; it is hidden behind and beneath the
sequence of happenings that is continually unfolding for us.
Each life is a mystery that is never finally available to the
mind's light or questions. Acceptance of this can free us into
natural courage that casts out fear and opens up our lives to
become voyages of discovery, creativity, and compassion.
No threshold need be a threat, but rather an invitation and a
promise.

.....listen inward with complete attention until you hear the
inner voice calling your forward.  The time has come to cross.

John O'Donohue
via Sara Smeaten

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the Universe there are things that are
known and things that are unknown and
in between there are doors.

William Blake

~

Solstice Blessings
as we cross the threshold today

~

Photo - A panoramic view of the Gloucester coast in Mass
Taken by my brother.

It reminded me of a threshold, or an opening/door to 
something beyond...

 

Accepting reality - a meandering...

As I awoke one morning recently, it came to me in my
half sleep that I had to accept death...
That my current life experience may be the
beginning of my end -
and that I need to accept that...

My body and mind immediately relaxed...

I get that it's not about getting my life back, as I have been
wanting, but about accepting the impermanence of my life;
of everything basically, including this particular life
circumstance; my *ideas* about how life is supposed to be,
or recovering my life, restoring it to what it was before...

I've heard this all before,
through different spiritual traditions,
but this time it came from within
and was organic,,,

It's about accepting impermanence,
accepting death; death of ways of life,
death of beliefs, death of ways of being,
death of the body...

Not trying to recapture, or restore everything
to the way it was - so that I can "finish" my life...

But letting go of the idea that Life has to be/go
a certain way...

There was great *relief* in realizing this
- a profound acceptance of reality...

I felt freed of everything that has bound me:
ways of thinking, perspectives, feelings about life...

And also realized that I have been resisting the little
deaths in my life - the changes that create disruption.

*Everything* changes, *everything* dies,
that is - changes form; form transforms itself
continuously...

It is the natural way of life itself;

it *is* the reality.

I'm going to die (my body that is) at some point and
maybe this life circumstance is just the
precursor to that,
the doorway to that...

But I keep trying to make this current experience
change, to stop in some way - resisting it -
when in reality it is an opening.

I was almost euphoric,
because changing my perspective means the end of
suffering, struggle, trying to make things happen, trying
to have a "spiritual" perspective about it all,
trying to find a way *out* of my experience...

(although this shift is gradual, as I discovered)...

Everything is impermanent, transient...

I'm accepting (ongoing) that reality...

Mystic Meandering
Sept. 8, 2024

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Reveille - Ruth Bowen Hersey

When a new day wakes me, each
worry rises too, greets the morning,
rubbing the eyes and joining the others
that crowd around as we
all, the whole battalion of us, put
on our work boots and dress ourselves
and prepare to pretend we've got it all together.

Each morning we put ourselves together.

Ruth Bowen Hersey

 https://thereisnosuchthingasagodforsakentown.blogspot.com

posted with permission

~

Photo - taken by my brother
My Dad's Army boots

~

Personal Note:  I love this poem because sometimes now,
since I became a "caregiver", this is how I feel.  Every morning
boots on the ground, hit the ground running, feeling overwhelmed,
 like I'm always trying to "put myself together" meeting the challenges
of this "new" role... 

Things need to change...

I need to remember my Inner Being, my Inner Life...

Stay tuned...:)

 

Change - Frank Ostaseski

We don't grow and transform in our comfort zones.  We grow
when we realize we are no longer able to control all the
conditions of our lives, and are therefore challenged to
change...  When we release our clinging to what used to be
and our craving for what we think should be, we are free to
embrace the truth of what is in this moment.

No matter what we do or don't do, things will always change.
Change is constant and inevitable.  We need to trust ourselves
and persevere without despair...

Frank Ostaseski

The Five Invitations

 

Stirrings - Author Unknown

The Cosmic skies are stirring, there is change in the air
that may awaken us to some new truths.

How beautiful that we don't yet know the way.
How beautiful that there are elements of life
that still confuse us, make us feel deeper than
we could have imagined, and remind us of
what is real and pure in our hearts.

How beautiful, that even though we don't yet
know "the way", we can spread our wings,
shift our awareness, and trust that there is a
new unfolding that is destined to come.

It is the journey of metamorphosis that we
are being guided to walk...

Whatever comes, know that it is part of how we
move through our own cycles - into the dark
night of the soul, and then finally, into spiritual
wisdom...

Sometimes we need intensity to drive the
vehicle of transformation.

While we want to remain strong and centered,
we also don't want to limit or cut ourselves off
from allowing whatever comes to move us,
change us, and transform us.

We have to remember to keep shifting our
awareness of what life is and what role we are
here to play; to allow ourselves to keep questioning,
to keep allowing things to shock and surprise us, for
they are often the fuel for our continued unfolding.

Author Unknown
found on Facebook

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Everything Falls Away...

Everything is falling away.
Systems and internal conceptual structures
are fracturing; all around you - disintegration.
Only a shadow of what they were...

You cannot mend this -
People believe what they want to believe,
think what they want to think.

Hold fast...
Hold fast - do not be moved.
Lean into the intensity and hold fast.

Be brave - the storm is yet to come...

Mystic Meandering

_/\_

I found this written on some scratch paper
while decluttering on 7/28
Have no idea when it was written, but seems
appropriate to what we are facing now,
in this realm of existence...

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Reflecting on Time - Daria Bocicova

Time as we know it in our everyday lives is, essentially,
an idea based on a sensation based on an observation, which
in turn, is based on our knowledge and memory of the state
or condition before the measurement of that change.  Time is
the feeling that we experience when we see some kind of
change...

When people think that celestial changes are seasonal changes
associated with the Earth's position around the Sun are time,
it's like thinking that a fish swimming in an aquarium is water.
In fact, a tank is like space, and water is like time.  Water fills
the tank, and it's everywhere.  If it wasn't, the fish wouldn't be
able to move and would be dead, despite all the space in the
aquarium...

Time itself is neither linear nor circular.  It does not flow or
move but allows others to do so.  So the cycles we observe
have nothing to do with time, except that time will enable
them to exist.  Time is attached to each part of space, forming
a space-time continuum, and as everything moves, vibrates,
changes, it is related to the fact that time is a dimension
that allows all cycles to exist...

Daria Bocicova - physicist
excerpts from an article  in The Plant News

with thanks to Under My Umbrella and Beyond

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
The time was actually 2:32pm :)

 

A Solemn Journey...

Photo by Martin Stranka

I feel deeply for a world in pain...
I know others of you do too...
A world bound by insanity and ignorance,
hatred and greed;
holding onto racist ideologies,
beliefs of empires of the past,
tattered by time and flamed by delusion.
Volatile violence erupting from darkened minds;
the new "prophets" of a civilization in denial
- uncivil -

burdening others with their detritus; like
robots blindly playing their part in the universal
tick-tock - already dead - lost to false beliefs -
blinded by their own nightmare,
wanting to inflict their pain on others...
Children killing children...
Survivors traumatized for life...

And we - the collective "we" - carry on-
business as usual...

Nothing changes...
And yet - Everything changes...

Life is a solemn journey for many...

Prayers for a broken world...

Mystic Meandering
May 15, 2022
revised May 24, 2022

~

Photo from No Mind's Land

 

 

Reorientation - May Sarton

I am not ready to die.

But I am learning to trust death
As I have trusted life.
I am moving
Toward a new freedom
Born of detachment,
And a sweeter grace -
Learning to let go.

I am not ready to die.

But as I approach sixty (73 😊)
I turn my face toward the sea.
I shall go where tides replace time,
Where my world will open to a far horizon.

Over the floating, never-still flux and change.
I shall go with the changes,
I shall look far out over golden grasses
And blue waters...

There are no farewells.

[.....]

May Sarton

With thanks to Death Deconstructed

Photo from the Internet

 

Rest in the Gap - Frank Ostaseski

All things change...
The way we end one experience shapes the way the next one
arises.  Clinging to the old makes it difficult for something 
new to emerge...

Breathing is a microcosm of life itself.  Every breath goes
through a process of birth, growth, and death.  At the very
end of the exhale, there is a gap, a pause.  Breath has left
the body, and we don't know for certain if it will return.
Do you trust that the next in-breath will emerge on its own?
Can you rest your mind in the gap? Can you let the breath
breathe you?

Breath is the most intimate connection we humans have to
the realm of "God."  The breath is the vehicle for reaching
the transcendent.  The breath takes us to that experience that
is deeper than words, deeper than thought, deeper than form...

The breath invites us into the body.  We can learn to align
with the breath and move with it, to allow the breath its own
natural depth and flow.  Every breath takes us to where we 
belong.  As we relinquish command of it, we gradually feel
the breath breathing us.

The breath becomes a resting place...

Frank Ostaseski
From - The Five Invitations

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Living the Fantasy of Becoming - Jim Harrison

 Nowhere is it the same place as yesterday.
None of us is the same person as yesterday.
We finally die from the exhaustion of becoming.

This downward cellular jubilance is shared
by the winds, bugs, birds, bears and rivers,
and perhaps the black holes in galactic space
where our souls will all be gathered in an invisible
thimble of antimatter.  But we're getting ahead of ourselves.

We whirl with the earth, catching our breath
as someone else, our soft brains ill-trained
except to watch ourselves disappear into the distance.

Still, we love to make music of this puzzle.

Jim Harrison

from: Saving Daylight

with thanks to Death Deconstructed

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

~

"Only the rocks live forever."

James Michner
from - Centennial

 

Befriending Ourselves in Difficult Times - Matt Licata

 

Many of us are experiencing a deep restlessness and uncertainty,
not knowing what's coming next or how best to navigate this
transitional period.  But it is precisely in times such as these that
unique doorways to deep healing and transformation open,
often in unexpected ways.

It's so important right now to rest our nervous systems, to spend
time each day in activities that ground, center, and guide us
gently back into the experience of safety and connection.

In moments of fierce grace, when the rug is pulled out from
underneath us, our lenses of perception become ripe for
revisioning.

The alchemists, yogis, and mystics knew the importance of
dissolution and experienced it as initiatory.  It is the crumbling
of an old dream - my life and the way I was so sure it was going to
turn out - that can provide the rich soil for creative, embodied
transformation.

In order to be initiated in this way, we must slow down - and with
a passionate, alive and earthy compassion - attune to what is unfolding
and being illuminated right now.  To take some time to mourn
the reassembling of our world and to grieve all that we will
inevitably lose as we heal and awaken.

It is an act of kindness to remember that the transformational
process by its very nature is messy, glorious, and full spectrum...
not only an act of creation, but one of destruction as well.
It is an invitation into the temple of your own body, as a pathway
back into the depths of your own soul...

Matt Licata PhD

~

Matt Licata has written a new book called A Healing Space:
Befriending Ourselves in Difficult Times, using the images and
metaphors from rich and diverse traditions such as neuroscience,
alchemy, contemplative practice, and the poetic imagination.

It is written to be a loving companion to walk with you into the
mysteries of your own heart.  In the end, perhaps it is really only
love that matters now.  But just what that is must be discovered in
the fire of your own immediate experience, where there is unseen
wisdom and guidance for the way ahead.

Matt Licata, PhD
From his blogpost

I have not read it yet but will be ordering it on kindle :)

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

Rupture and Evolution - Arundhati Roy & Jeff Kober

What is this thing that has happened to us?
It's a virus, yes.  In and of itself it holds no moral brief.
But it is definitely more than a virus...
It has brought the world to a halt...  Our minds are still
racing..., longing to return to "normality", trying to stitch
our future to our past and refusing to acknowledge the rupture.
But the rupture exists.

Nothing could be worse than a return to normality.
Historically, pandemics have forced humans to break with the
past and imagine their world anew.  This one is no different.
It is a portal, a gateway between one world and the next.
[one way of life to the next].  We can choose to walk through
it, dragging the carcasses of our prejudice and hatred, our
avarice, our data banks and dead ideas... or we can walk
through lightly, with little luggage, ready to imagine
another world. [Another way of being in the world].

Arundhati Roy
Author - The God of Small Things

[brackets mine]

~

The Vedas tell us that change is constant, that the nature of
the relative world is continual change, always.  Like the weather...
But the Vedas also tell us that the changing nature of the
universe is always progressive.  Evolution is the only thing
that's ever happening here. Always.  Like rivers always flowing
downstream; regardless of how many curves and meanderings they
may take, they always reach the ocean.  Downstream flow is the
nature of water.  And evolution is the nature of consciousness.
Consciousness cannot help but evolve.  It cannot help but expand,
widen, deepen, grow.  This is its very nature.  Though we may
resist it or ignore it, pretend it isn't so, in fact it is so.  It always
has been, it always will be.

Jeff Kober
Meditator

~

Photo from the Internet

Cosmic Stirrings - Author Unknown

The Cosmic skies are stirring, there is a change in the air
that may awaken us to some new truths.

How beautiful that we don't yet know the way.
How beautiful that there are elements of life
that still confuse us, make us feel deeper than
we could have imagined, and remind us of
what is real and pure in our hearts.

How beautiful, that even though we don't yet
know "the way", we can spread our wings,
shift our awareness, and trust that there is a
new unfolding that is destined to come.

It is the journey of metamorphosis that we
are being guided to walk down.

Whatever comes, know that it is part of how we
move through our own cycle of ego into the
dark night of the soul, and then finally, into
spiritual wisdom.

Sometimes we need intensity to drive the
vehicle of transformation.

While we want to remain strong and centered,
we also don't want to limit or cut ourselves off
from allowing whatever comes to move us,
change us, and transform us.

We have to remember to keep shifting our
awareness of what life is and what role we are
here to play; to allow ourselves to keep dying
and being reborn.  Keep questioning, keep growing,
keep allowing things to shock and surprise us, for
they are often the fuel for our continued growth.

author unknown
found on Facebook

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
water droplets on a white background
color inverted and zoom blurred :)

Loss - Richard Wehrman

More and more he felt
that those things he thought
he controlled, those powers
he believed he once had, were
slipping away; his capacities
to do diminished, his thoughts
multiplied and went in their
own directions, his ability to
remain one-pointed, to
meditate, ended in sleep.  He
judged himself harshly, but
letting that go, he found he
ended up with less and less,
whereas when he was younger
his imagination told him, by
this time, he would be stronger,
more focused, accomplished
in wisdom and knowledge.
Yet here he was, a snowman
melting away.....
This black mood matched
the time of year, and that was
reassuring: to understand
that everything is stripped
away before anything new
can be born.

Richard Wehrman
from: Being Here

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
Snow Bunny - eventually
took shelter in the brush
near the tree. 

The Art of Living - Henry Miller

The art of living is based on rhythm -
on give and take,
ebb and flow,
light and dark,
life and death.

By acceptance of all aspects of life,
good and bad,
right and wrong,
yours and mine,
the static, defensive life
which is what most people
are cursed with,
is converted into a dance,
'the dance of life,'
metamorphosis.

One can dance to sorrow or joy;
one can even dance abstractly.
But the point is that
by the mere act of dancing,
the elements which compose it are
transformed;
the dance is an end in itself,
just like life.

The acceptance of the situation,
any situation,

brings about flow,
a rhythmic impulse towards
self-expression.
To relax is the first thing
a dancer has to learn...
It is the first thing any one has to learn
in order to live.

It is extremely difficult,
because it means surrender,
full surrender.

Henry Miller
The Wisdom of the Heart
(Mr. Miller's words, my format)

via: No Mind's Land

For Samhain - "A Morning Blessing"

“I bless the night that nourished my heart
to set the ghosts of longing free
into the flow and figure of dream
that went to harvest from the dark,
bread for the hunger that no one sees.

All that is eternal in me
welcome the wonder of this day,
the field of brightness it creates
offering time for each thing
to arise and illuminate.

I place on the altar of dawn:
The quiet loyalty of breath,
the tent of thought where I shelter,
wave of desire I am shore to,
and all beauty drawn to the eye.

May my mind come alive today
to the invisible geography
that invites me to new frontiers,
to break the dead shell of yesterdays,
to risk being disturbed and changed.

May I have the courage today
to live the life that I would love,
to postpone my dream no longer
but do at last what I came here for
and waste my time on fear no more…”

John O’Donohue
”A Morning Offering”
From: To Bless the Space Between Us

~

For those of the ancient Celtic and Druid traditions Samhain
 (Nov. 1) is the beginning of a new cycle in
 the Great Round of Time - recognizing the cyclical nature
 of manifest existence.

Warm Blessings to all no matter what your tradition…

Adaptability...

I had hoped I would have some good news to share tonight after DH’s job interview this week.  But it turns out that “the company has met its quota on the first wave”, according to the recruiter (a cattle call hiring 10 people at a time basically, and he didn’t make the first cut).  They evidently plan on doing a “second wave” – although we have no idea when that might be.   However, DH has other irons in the fire as they say, so we are still encouraged, as he is early in this job-hunting process, although it’s difficult not to recede into a fog of sadness and discouragement because we weren’t instantaneously relieved from this period of uncertainty.  Which is a segue into the subject of “adaptability.” J

A week ago DH was at the library perusing the shelves when he came across a CD series called “Adaptability” by a leading guru of change, MJ Ryan, targeted towards those in the business world.  Basically the premise is that those who adapt survive the changes that are inevitable, and so the point is to cooperate with the unavoidable, learning to take on new roles and shift with the changes that are coming more frequently in the business world.  DH has been doing this for years – adapting, shifting his career identities and roles to suit the current business environment, and still, jobs have been hard to come by and keep. We are grateful that he actually had a job that lasted a full year!  Most have been 3-6 month contracts.  He says the series on “Adaptability” is helping him with this current change, giving him a new perspective and some new skills for riding the wave.  If you’re interested, here is a You Tube link to watch her give a talk on “The Tortured Mind.” J  As always it comes down to what we *think about* what we are going through and how we interpret it.

What does this have to do with the photo of the Raccoon in the drive-way you ask? J  Well it showed up late yesterday afternoon, sniffing its way around.   I of course grabbed the camera and snapped the shot through the window.  As it disappeared out of sight to the right, I went outside to see if I could get a better shot.  I’m a sucker for wildlife – especially in the burbs.  Raccoons and Coyotes are about as wild as we get here.  The critter had climbed part way up the Spruce tree at the corner of our neighbor’s property by the driveway.  And of course I just had to try to get closer for a better shot…  But it went further up the tree – so no shot only big cute eyes looking back at me.  And what does a Raccoon have to do with adaptability?

Well... late last night I looked up the symbolic “meaning” of Raccoon in one of those animal symbolism books.  And the very first word that was underlined in the text was “adaptable.”  My eyes bugged out at the seeming synchronicity, and I went to share it with DH who was already in bed trying to sleep. J  Seems there’s a message here we’re supposed to be paying attention to!  So I read on:  Raccoons are known for their sense of curiosity about new realms, exploring what fascinates them, as well as their courage and ferociousness.  One of their most striking features is the mask.  Although the common interpretation is thievery, it actually becomes a very powerful symbolism for adapting.  When we wear a mask we create a doorway in the mind of who we believe ourselves to be.  It goes on: We can become anything we want to be by wearing different masks (identities) and learning to be dexterous in the masks that we wear, knowing when to use which mask for different purposes, knowing what circumstances requires what mask.  And in that respect, masks help us in the process of change.

There is actually a purpose for the persona of course – adapting to life situations, which seems to be a natural process.  I had somehow lost sight of that...

So – it spawned a few questions for myself like:  What masks am I wearing…  And are they serving me…  Are they helping me to adapt and change to life circumstances or am I just hiding under a mask of “spirituality”…  Do my masks keep my True Self hiding under a disguise, or are they are true expression of the Being that I am…   Do I need to change my idea of who I am, my self-identity as a “spiritual” person – ahhh – now *there’s* a courageous question…   Will have to explore that one a little more…

In any case, we are learning to adapt once again to the perpetual changes of life, accepting the reality of what is at the moment.

You might also like this humorous post
that I wrote last May on the subject of masks and identities:

Who Would You Be If You Weren't Who You Think You Are...?

Omen of Change...

This ominous looking winged creature showed up at the back door on July 11th. Its wing span was at least 4 inches tip to tip – probably more. Its head still encased in its chrysalis. I had no idea what it was, so I contacted Cate Kerr from Beyond The Fields We Know. She is an aficionado of Flora, Fauna and Bugs, :) as well as a great photographer! She kindly went on a “diagnostic expedition” and returned a couple of days later with her findings. It was, she said, a Big Poplar Sphinx Moth. Looked like a stealth bomber to me! Being a mystic, I went on my own expedition to see what its symbolism might be. Mystics are like that. :) We like to explore and directly experience all aspects of Truth and the wisdom that shows up at the door.

As it turns out there are multiple meanings, but in general “moths” are ancient symbols of change – new directions – and revealing that which has been hidden. Good Omen I thought… And Sphinx – well there are multiple cultural meanings as well – but a Sphinx is kind of like a Chimera, a creation of the imagination - symbolizing a merging, or union, of many aspects - mind and body, intellect and spirit, Divine and human. Whatever cultural myths are believed become embodied in its symbols and spirituality – like separation.

On the same day that the Sphinx Moth landed, I had written in my journal: “There is definitely the *feel* of a shift in my life – a change of direction – but I have no idea what that is to be.” For a couple of months I’ve been experiencing this shift, getting these little hits, these feelings that life was being turned in another direction; that I have reached some kind of “turning point”, or what the Buddhists call a “turning of the wheel”, but was experienced as being stopped dead in my tracks, unable to move, to turn, to navigate – like being ground to a halt. My navigational system – my compass – is changing.

Direction: Unknown.

There was also a sense that all the scaffoldings that had held “me” in place needed to collapse – particularly the “spiritual scaffoldings” of “non-duality.” Meaning the framework, the conceptual structure of “non-duality” – not the actual *experience* of Beingness as It is. And with this there was a sense that there would be “new directions”, “new meanderings” along life’s path – unfettered, unencumbered, unbounded – out of the box. In a sense a move toward a freer, more authentic way of being in the world.

I am currently experiencing a great deal of unrest, unsettledness, and yes, even a sense of separation with all this – as if shaken to the core – which emerged this last week as another bout with “illness” that flattened me for several days. More scaffoldings collapsing…

What I seem to understand at this point in the shift - what I have always known, but have felt constrained by these mental “frameworks” - is that Life/Awareness/The Beloved/Existence *delights* in expressing ItSelf, and *how* It expresses ItSelf really doesn’t matter to It. Awareness has no concept of non-dual awareness, of non-dual language, of non-duality. It *sees* everything as ItSelf, and therefore as not separate from ItSelf. The idea that it is “non-dual” or “dual” does not even occur to It. It does not concern ItSelf with “non-duality” – or duality for that matter. It doesn’t *see* duality, the self, the me, as a problem to overcome, or be seen through, or merged with, as other than non-dual. The whole me/no-me, self/no-self concept, often discussed in non-dual circles, doesn’t matter anymore. I somehow had constrained mySelf by subtly making those very linear delineations, splitting Existence in two – creating duality; becoming more *self* conscious - trying to fit this expression of Being into a “non-dual” conceptual framework, instead of just Being what I already knew myself to be. My SELF!

BEingness being ItSelf…

What a relief! Such freedom! I can just be ME! - living from the Heart and not the framework, the scaffolding. In a sense I muted this Aliveness that wants to express here *through* constraining myself to the frameworks and scaffoldings of *conceptual* “non-dual” ideas, interpretations, language and beliefs – trying to fit myself into a nice neat “spiritual” box. And evidently this “new direction” is about coming Alive again, rekindling the Life that already lives here -“outside the box.”

Our Eternal Beingness only expresses “Livingness.” It’s only purpose, evidently, is to express Life, in all of its forms. “Livingness” expressing ItSelf as Life – all life, not just “non-dual” life – whatever that might mean…

Cue moth…

Body Wisdom and Obsession...

After a strenuous week I decided to put the hammock up on Saturday and spend some relaxing time out in the back yard, listening to the birds, the breeze, the highway traffic, the lawn mowers, the dogs barking, and the little water fountain on our back patio. Heh, heh, heh… Oh yeah, sweet swinging relaxation…

I sat my butt in it, noticing that 20 pounds extra makes a difference in agility getting in the thing – feeling more like a small, eldering (my new word for aging :), beached whale floundering around on the sand. I was adjusting myself in it, when I heard this rip sound as all the ropes across the top gave way, and felt myself start to fall. My legs were already in the air, and I had started to sit up, which meant that my lumbar spine took the brunt of the fall – thud. Oh-oh… sH_t!!! Amazing how a short fall can feel like it’s taking forever. And yet I was surprised when I hit the ground with a jolt. It couldn’t have been more than a foot, foot and a half at the most. And it happened so quickly! I landed on dirt with rocks in it – no soft, fluffy grass. “We” :) had set it up near the end of the patio so I could hear the water fountain.

Immediately there was a twinge of fear, as I was born with a form of spina bifida between Lumbar 5, the last lumbar vertebrae, and the Sacrum. That left an opening in the spinal column, leaving the spinal cord vulnerable. In a split second this body could have been paralyzed. Whoa. There’s a fearful thought. But legs were working. I could stand up, walk, no sharp shooting pains, although I knew my spine took the hit pretty hard, so I grabbed the soft ice gel pack out of the freezer and headed for the couch. Who knew that a hammock mishap could potentially ruin your day – maybe even your life. How easily life could have drastically changed in one instant. You know this somewhere inside, that life changes, that it *will*change, no state is permanent, including the physical state, but when you experience first hand the possibility of how quickly life can change, it hits with a sense of shock – and, for me, fear. Oh the joys of being in a body.

And then you see that Who/What “you” are is still being you, “you” are still functioning –or is it that your body is being functioned. You see that “you” are still being animated by that which animates life. The trick is not to *think* you are your body, to not identify yourself as *my* body, to not let your body define you… Although when the body gets hit with a jolt, you tend to focus on *my* body!

Despite this insight, I spent the next 3 days obsessing about “my” spine, as tingling sensations went down both legs – clearly there was identification going on here. I told my-self not to panic – but body-mind didn’t want to listen – and body-mind crescendoed into intense anxiety. I debated whether to go to the doctor, which would mean CT scan and possible referral to a specialist, but didn’t want to make that decision out of fear, knowing that I could set things in motion that I didn’t want to set in motion – causing more anxiety. I wasn’t quite ready to join the medical circus. So I listened to the voice of Intuition, barely able to get through all that mind noise, which said - strong spine, no worries - and decided to give it more time. The spine is better, tingling gone, although still a little sore on a couple of spinous processes. And driving this morning was interesting – eeuu! Spent a couple of stops readjusting the seat in an attempt to adapt to body as is…

And the metaphor here doesn’t escape me either – the lumbar spine being the major supporting part of the spine, and a hammock that didn’t support me…. Gee, do you think maybe I’m not feeling supported!? That conditioned, fearful little me feeling like it has to carry the weight all by itself!? Oh yes – an old victim mind-set. And what about those old vulnerability and trust issues too? Trusting that I am and will be supported; that it is okay to be vulnerable, without getting hurt – more conditioning… I also know that a lot of fear is held in this area of the body from birth, so it was not surprising that fear and anxiety were released when this “fearful” spot received this huge jolt.

So hammock days are over. Not worth the risk. Don’t want to create any more life changes than is necessary. Good grief I’ve had enough of those already! I know – it’s inevitable… Who knew a hammock could be dangerous – or bring such body wisdom!

~ ♥ ~

The photo is from 2 years ago