Accepting reality - a meandering...

As I awoke one morning recently, it came to me in my
half sleep that I had to accept death...
That my current life experience may be the
beginning of my end -
and that I need to accept that...

My body and mind immediately relaxed...

I get that it's not about getting my life back, as I have been
wanting, but about accepting the impermanence of my life;
of everything basically, including this particular life
circumstance; my *ideas* about how life is supposed to be,
or recovering my life, restoring it to what it was before...

I've heard this all before,
through different spiritual traditions,
but this time it came from within
and was organic,,,

It's about accepting impermanence,
accepting death; death of ways of life,
death of beliefs, death of ways of being,
death of the body...

Not trying to recapture, or restore everything
to the way it was - so that I can "finish" my life...

But letting go of the idea that Life has to be/go
a certain way...

There was great *relief* in realizing this
- a profound acceptance of reality...

I felt freed of everything that has bound me:
ways of thinking, perspectives, feelings about life...

And also realized that I have been resisting the little
deaths in my life - the changes that create disruption.

*Everything* changes, *everything* dies,
that is - changes form; form transforms itself
continuously...

It is the natural way of life itself;

it *is* the reality.

I'm going to die (my body that is) at some point and
maybe this life circumstance is just the
precursor to that,
the doorway to that...

But I keep trying to make this current experience
change, to stop in some way - resisting it -
when in reality it is an opening.

I was almost euphoric,
because changing my perspective means the end of
suffering, struggle, trying to make things happen, trying
to have a "spiritual" perspective about it all,
trying to find a way *out* of my experience...

(although this shift is gradual, as I discovered)...

Everything is impermanent, transient...

I'm accepting (ongoing) that reality...

Mystic Meandering
Sept. 8, 2024

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Dissolving Illusions - Ivan Granger

We are going through a collective process of disillusionment,
whether we like it or not.  We are being required to drop
our illusions and witness unpleasant truths, about ourselves
[individually and as a nation], and about the world around us.
We may ask: What have we ignored that has allowed such
fear and hatred to fester?  How have our political and social
systems become so damaged that they are unresponsive to
the needs of society?  What cruelties are encoded in society
that I have ignored or made excuses for?  How did we
imagine things were solid, when they are so fragile?  How
can my neighbor [or family members] believe such things,
and what is their hurt that I was blind to?  These are the
questions we are forced to ask now.

Painful though it may be, we can only be strengthened by
the process of disillusionment.  We want to drop our
illusions.  We want to see things as they are..

As a meditative exercise we can look at the reality we see,
the terrible and the beautiful together, and just sit with it;
[just be with it internally, meditatively].  It may break our
hearts, but we can just sit with it.  It may overwhelm us with
its immensity, but we don't run, we don't seek to merely feel
good.  Instead we just sit [be] with it.  We allow ourselves to
see and feel fully.  We watch our reactions to it, but are not
hooked by them.  In this way, we begin to inhabit a bigger 
reality.  Our personal sense of reality becomes more 
integrated and a truer reflection of what actually is.  As we do
this, we become more capable of fashioning healthier
 lives and healthier societies.

When I stop trying to assert some idea of how reality should work,
and just really notice what is.....everything just opens up.  The
heart opens in unexpected ways, making healing possible where
only walls seemed to stand.  It's easy to think that reality is
somehow broken, but when we really look, we discover that we
inhabit an improbable wholeness instead.  It's not entirely logical
amidst the world's fear and suffering, but look for yourself and see.
Really see.  Seeing the full picture, our actions become more 
effective and lasting.  Looking honestly, we become capable of
compassion and connection, where there was only anger and hatred....

Ivan Granger
Excerpt from a commentary on a poem by May Sarton
at Poetry Chaikhana

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Photo - Mystic Meandering
taken from inside, reflecting objects in the room in the window -
giving the illusion of another reality...

 

"Homecoming" - Mirabai Starr

I don't know about you, but I have grown weary of the 
endless quest to uncover and slay the host of inner demons
who have been messing up my plans for enlightenment,
which I have imagined as some pure land of perfect
equanimity in which I hover over my worldly concerns
like a cartoon yogi, forever free from narcissism and other
embarrassing inclinations, reliably dispensing compassion
to the vulnerable....to anyone who comes into proximity
with my purified and perfected (no)self [image]...

[.....]

But the "homecoming" is probably not what we thought it
would be when we signed up for the "enlightenment track."
We have been conditioned by our spiritual communities -
whether traditional religious institutions or alternative
practice spaces - to conquer certain feeling states in favor
of some idealized realm where we are unmoved by these
"lower vibrations", free to claim our birthright of peace,
love, and bliss...

[.....]

What if, instead of rushing to our meditation cushion or
asana practice....ready to vanquish the ego once and for all,
we take our ego into our arms and lean close and hear the
wisdom at the core of its insistent lament?

[.....]

The ancient alchemists did not view the base material [ego]
as merely something to be transcended or gotten rid of, but
as the "substance of the gods."  What if we were to love
reality however it is appearing in this moment, with its
heartbreak, our sadness, our confusion, our depression, or
[rage], our shame?  Rather than muscle our way through
spiritual disciplines and therapeutic interventions, we fall
in love with our brokenness at last and welcome the orphaned
parts of ourselves home.

Mirabai Starr
Contemporary Mystic
Writer, Author

Excerpts from the Forward
in Matt Licata's book:

A Healing Space:
Befriending Ourselves in Difficult Times

~

Photo from the Internet