Turning of the Heart - Matt Licata

[You may be asking] Why, after years or even decades of working
on myself, meditating, praying, surrendering, and going to therapy
can it seem like nothing is changing! Why am I always feeling
disappointed?  When do I reach the end, become fully awakened,
enlightened, totally healed!  When will it change?  Will the
longing ever be fulfilled?

...true 'transformation'...does not always conform to the ways we
thought it would all turn out.  Many discover the 'great liberation'
in the realization that they are not who they thought they were..

...true 'transformation' isn't possible without tending to our
essential vulnerability and the entirety of unfelt feelings and
aspects of ourselves we have kept out of conscious awareness.

It is not possible for us to 'awaken' our live without befriending
all parts of ourselves, calling them all back home into the larger
field of what we are.  It is an attunement to the entirety of what
we are...

Many of us have quite a lot of insight into our embedded patterns
[samskaras and conditioning] and "know" what we need to do
to 'awaken'.  But - despite all the "knowing", fundamental change
can remain elusive.

At some point it might only be a turning of the heart that has the
power and beauty and poetic impact to soothe the cosmic exhaustion,
wounds and pain of an unlived life, where love is revealed to be
the ultimate medicine, which can penetrate the deepest layers of 
our conditioning and felt sense of separation.

We must tend to our turning of the heart through the fire of our 
own direct experience - opening to our pain, our grief, our longing,
honoring the psyche and the soul.  Mere [intellectual] insight
alone will not reveal the deepest layers... instead [they are revealed]
through awareness illumined from within by the heart, by warmth,
and by love.

Matt Licata
from: A Healing Space

~

Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all
the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

Rumi

~

Photo - Mysitc Meandering

 

The Cello - Stephen Mitchell

 It rests inside its close-fitting red-velvet-lined case
the way medieval monks slept inside their coffins.
But it doesn't meditate on death; it has already died,
and barely remembers sunlight, water, the wind among
the branches.
It lies there in the dark, feeling all through its graceful curves
the memory of a hundred years of music,
and sometimes dreaming of heaven: the Bach suites.

Taken out to be played, it knows that by itself it is nothing,
that it would be incapable of producing a single note
even it it were a Stradivarius.

So it gladly assents to having its strings tightened,
painful thought it is; it wants to be perfectly in tune,
stretched to its utmost but not straining.
When it feels ready, it leans back and waits
for the bow to be drawn across,
for the resonance to fill it completely.

Stephen Mitchell
from - Parables and Portraits

With thanks to The Beauty We Love

~

Photo - via The Beauty We Love

Inner Passageways - Matt Licata

 The path of opening the heart is not the same as becoming
 an unboundaried, leaky vessel for the unloading of another's
unlived life.  It is to the degree that we are attuned to our
own grief, sadness, shame, and rage that we will most
skillfully navigate within the we-space...

Most of us were not trained in the art of embodied

attunement as we live in an increasingly disembodied
world, where the capacity to hold unfolding emotional
experience was not encoded into a tender developing
nervous system.

The inner passageways, however, are luminous and ache
 for reorganization by way of the slower circuitries of
empathy, curiosity, wonder and awe. 

Inside something is stirring, a longing being awakened to
return home, for new circuitry to encode, for a new pathway

to light up and come alive.

Slowly, one moment at a time.
Safe. Connected. Open.

Embodied.

There is no urgency on the path of love.

Matt Licata

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

The Traveler - Alexandra David-Neel and Lama Yongden

The traveler who finds his road blocked by a river will use
a raft to reach the opposite shore, but, this shore, once
reached, he will not take the raft on his shoulders while
continuing his journey.  He will abandon it as something
which has become useless.

The raft represents the different kinds of methods, intellectual
training, or moral discipline, which are available as means to
bring the seeker of liberation to the "other shore."  On this shore,
both have lost their value; they bear no relation to the conditions
existing on the "other shore" and, like the raft in the parable,
they are only a useless burden...

To go beyond virtue and vice, opinions and beliefs, is to go
beyond the mental constructions which are built by the mind,
unceasingly, and to recognize, by transcendent insight, that
they are void of reality.  It is also to recognize, by transcendent
insight, that which has been imagined as practicing virtue,
surrendering to vice, as holding opinions and elaborating theories,
as traveling towards a goal and reaching a goal, is nothing but
an inconsistent phantom, devoid of reality.

Alexandra David-Neel and Lama Yongden
from - The Secret Oral Teachings in Tibetan Buddhists Sects

with thanks to  - The Beauty We Love

~

I have been a seeker and I still am,
but I stopped asking the books and the stars.
I started listening to the teaching of my soul...

Rumi

~

Photo - taken by my brother

Neither "Separate" nor "One" - Matt Licata

We are neither "separate" nor "one", but the erupting holding
field in which the energies of "separate" and "one" interpenetrate
and dance the relative into being.  Neither of these concepts
are majestic enough to contain the mystery of the soul.  While
we may have a preference over unity and oneness, over
multiplicity and differentiation, it would appear that Love
does not share this bias and is ready at all times to equally
employ either of its manifestations to be its envoy here.

Those visitors of raw, achy, lonely, broken openness are not
neuroses to be cured or mistakes to be remedied. The shaky
vulnerability is not pathology, it is path.  As our perception
is cleansed, we see that they are not obstacles, but passionate,
yearning requests, tending to the lost grief, joy, rage
and peace of the unlived life.

The freedom we long for will never be found in the eradication
of the unwanted, but only in deeper layers of attunement to the
love and information it carries.  At times the burning can seem
unbearable.  Such is the nature of the human heart.  We may
burn until we are translucent, but it is by way of this burning
that wholeness is revealed.

Matt Licata

Stone Balance...

“A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile
the moment a single man (woman) contemplates it,
bearing within him the image of a cathedral.”

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

On Friday afternoon I decided to try this "rock balancing" experiment inspired by the work of Michael Grab, as I mentioned in my previous post on Focus as a Gateway.  The first one was fairly easy, taking about 20 mins, and obviously a fairly simple stack, much less precarious than the ones that Michael builds (see this wonderful YouTube video of him working). 

The second one was more challenging, taking about 30 minutes, but I managed the balance, after several fall-outs.  And 2 days later they are still standing, even after a dusting of snow, that I was sure was going to change the balance and topple it over. I built it in one of my flower tubs.  I have 6 more tubs!   I think I have a rock garden starting... :)

And here’s another angle…

I am sufficiently hooked that I want to keep building them J  I just need to find more rocks! So now I will go on rock expeditions.  I may need a little red wagon. J

It is true what Michael says about rock balancing:  “It becomes a therapeutic ritual, a poetic dance of form and energy.”  See his full explanation of why he does this and the affect it has on him here.  It shifted my mind state and frame of reference.  Later in the day, basking in the internal shift, I found myself feeling a little stoked realizing that when one is attuned, when one is internally connected, and deeply *aware*, there *is* a click, you feel the alignment of the stones taking place, as well as within yourself, you feel the gravity kick in, you feel the stones settling in, finding their place with each other, aligning the “gravity threads” as Michael calls it.   It’s truly amazing.  And I imagine this feeling is true for artists as well as “rock balancers” and “cathedral makers” J – there *is* something meditative about the creative process that brings a deeper sense of awareness *to* life, and living, and awakens an Aliveness within that can’t be explained…