Mistakes - John O'Donohue

One of the qualities that you can develop, particularly
in your older years, is a sense of great compassion for
yourself.  When you visit the wounds within the temple
of memory, you should not blame yourself for making
bad mistakes that you greatly regret.  Sometimes you
have grown unexpectedly through these mistakes.
Frequently, in a journey of the soul, the most precious
moments are the mistakes.  They have brought you to
a place that you would otherwise have always avoided.
You should bring a compassionate mindfulness to your
mistakes and wounds.  Endeavor to inhabit the
rhythm you were in at that time. If you visit this
configuration of your soul with forgiveness in your heart,
it will fall into place itself.  When you forgive yourself,
the inner wounds begin to heal. You come in out of the
exile of hurt into the joy of inner belonging.

John O'Donohue
from Anam Cara

with thanks to Whiskey River

~

Photo - mistake :)

 

Listen to the Wound...

In Deep Silence
In Deep Rest
In Deep Quiet
Deeply Listen

Sit in the depths
of the Sacred Silence
of Existence
and
breathe...

Touch and be touched by
this Sacred Space
that holds your
stories,
your wounding,
your brokenness.

From the depths of
your Being
Listen to the whisper
of the Wound...

From here all things
are made
clear...

Touch its depth
and
allow it
into the liquid flow
of Life

again...

Mystic Meandering
2024

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

a "wound" in a tree...
Can you see the weathered face
screaming?

 

The Longing of Our Wounds - Matt Licata

Healing can't just be conceptual.  It's not a matter of thinking
differently, more "positively", or even more "spiritually" -
orbiting around the wound with our favorite metaphysical
beliefs, ideas and fantasies.

It's not clear thinking, or even "awareness" that can reach into
the wound and reorganize it. These can all be supportive, of
course, but in the end, healing is experiential, somatic, and
embodied.

While the wound is open, while it's activated and online,
there's a way in that moment that it's weeping.

That weeping, those tears that emerge from inside the wound,
these are emanations of a vital process in alchemy called solutio.

There's a dissolving that must occur in order for transmutation
to unfold.

In that moment of open weeping, the wound presents itself to
be reorganized, to receive something which has been missing,
something the wound has been longing for.

Not just the wound in some abstract way, but the longing of the
little one, the lost orphan of the psyche and soma who has been
carrying that burden of trauma, of aloneness, of unbearable 
emotional pain on our behalf for so long.

That longing, that yearning in the heart is to receive what has
been unavailable..., and what was missing at the
time the trauma became embedded.  
What that is, is love...
The healing medicine is love...

Matt Licata

~

For those still traumatized by 

9-11-2001

Blessings of Love

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

The Wound - Maya Luna

Maybe you don't heal 

The wound

Maybe it becomes an

Opening

Where buried truths can finally

Speak

Maybe it's a portal into

An abandoned universe

Crying out to be

Known

Maybe the rip and tear is tilled

Ground

Where fresh creation

Blooms

Maybe it wasn't meant to be

Closed

Maybe its a secret

Well

A blackened vessel

Where power flows

Maybe the raw cut was meant to

Bleed

Vital Medicine into

Thirsty Hearts

Maya Luna

with thanks to No Mind's Land

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
2004

 

Dare To Be Imperfect - Fred LaMotte

A life-coach told me,
"you're perfect right now."
So I went home and tried it,
but found it boring.

Who would be Me
if I didn't keep

[messing] things up
in my own peculiar way?
Blemishes delight me,
define me, jagged edges,
the letters of my true name.
Call me Broken Buddha,
the Half-Awake.
This universe just wouldn't
be the same without
my sins.
I am more priceless uncut,
like a ruby in the mud
that looks like a fallen berry.
What is the sign of progress?
I'm even less
perfect than I was
yesterday.
I dedicate this poem
to you, dear, who discovered
the hot mess of your body
on the kitchen floor
slobbering tears
into the linoleum
with Good Morning
America bleeding out
in the living room.
I honor the unconditional
catastrophe of your hair,
your crow's feet, the
droop of udder destruction,
the spreading warmth
of your wounded
mysterious smile
in the compost of uprooted
plans and scattered
possibilities,
when you finally realize
that no matter
how deeply you fall,
you are caught,
you have plunged
into the hug
that was always
there.

Fred LaMotte

Uradiance

~

Photo from the Internet

 

Terrible/Beautiful - Fred LaMotte

Everyone carries a dark secret.
We do not know its name.
But it's the same secret in all of us.
Terrible. Beautiful.

Sometimes we smile to hide it
because we are each afraid
that this is our secret alone.

But I know that your smile
covers the darkness
because it is mine.

[.....]

It is better that you look into my tears.
It is better that I look into yours.
The night embraced
blossoms into dawn.
A strange grace, is it not?

[.....]

How the soft wound
of courage glows
through this not trying
to hide it.

And a deeper secret:
I gaze from your heart,
you gaze from mine.

Fred LaMotte

Uradiance

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Feel What You Feel - Fred LaMotte

I don't need you to change me.

Just help me Be
who I am.

It is good
and very good for me
to feel precisely what I feel,
this cloud of grief,
this downpour of despair,
without any names or notes
to self.

Only let me dissolve
in a healing rain
that penetrates all my shadows.
A liquid sliver of sun may arise
on the jagged edge of mourning.

Or not...

Now I can feel everything
because I have tasted
the night.

How a bud bursts, spilling
beauty from its wound.

How the chrysalis shatters,
frees the golden
moth from her season
of uncertainty.
How a single tear
becomes the sky.

Fred LaMotte

Uradiance

~

These are difficult times for the Earth and a lot of people 
on the Earth now are suffering. There's a density intensity
on the planet now.  I feel it.  It is difficult to be
"lighthearted" and celebratory when so many people are
suffering.  The Earth itself and the people on it are unsettled,
and many are in darkness within, affecting the whole Cosmos -
the whole order of life.

What brings you to your knees?
What causes you to suffer inside?

What happened to empathy for those who are suffering in our midst?

My neighbor hung himself in his garage over a month ago.  No one
knew he was suffering.  Now his wife suffers.

Those who suffer do not need "fixing."
They need our heart...

_/\_
Namaste

MM

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Turning of the Heart - Matt Licata

[You may be asking] Why, after years or even decades of working
on myself, meditating, praying, surrendering, and going to therapy
can it seem like nothing is changing! Why am I always feeling
disappointed?  When do I reach the end, become fully awakened,
enlightened, totally healed!  When will it change?  Will the
longing ever be fulfilled?

...true 'transformation'...does not always conform to the ways we
thought it would all turn out.  Many discover the 'great liberation'
in the realization that they are not who they thought they were..

...true 'transformation' isn't possible without tending to our
essential vulnerability and the entirety of unfelt feelings and
aspects of ourselves we have kept out of conscious awareness.

It is not possible for us to 'awaken' our live without befriending
all parts of ourselves, calling them all back home into the larger
field of what we are.  It is an attunement to the entirety of what
we are...

Many of us have quite a lot of insight into our embedded patterns
[samskaras and conditioning] and "know" what we need to do
to 'awaken'.  But - despite all the "knowing", fundamental change
can remain elusive.

At some point it might only be a turning of the heart that has the
power and beauty and poetic impact to soothe the cosmic exhaustion,
wounds and pain of an unlived life, where love is revealed to be
the ultimate medicine, which can penetrate the deepest layers of 
our conditioning and felt sense of separation.

We must tend to our turning of the heart through the fire of our 
own direct experience - opening to our pain, our grief, our longing,
honoring the psyche and the soul.  Mere [intellectual] insight
alone will not reveal the deepest layers... instead [they are revealed]
through awareness illumined from within by the heart, by warmth,
and by love.

Matt Licata
from: A Healing Space

~

Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all
the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

Rumi

~

Photo - Mysitc Meandering

 

Wounds are the Windows - Fred LaMotte

 A broken heart lets light in.  If it breaks wide open, the
beam has no end: it flows through to other hearts.

Wounds are our windows into each other.
Don't be hasty to heal and close.  Don't be a knower.
Be an opening.

Fred LaMotte
Uradiance

~

Open to a deeper part/layer of yourself, as if
your Soul is about to speak to you.

Matt Licata

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

This beautiful creature was on our patio Thursday night.
One of its wings was "wounded" and it couldn't fly.
If anyone knows what it is please let me know...

The Great Transition - Matt Licata

 In the current global environment.....as we navigate this
period of great transition, while we don't know exactly where
we're headed, we can slow down and prepare for what is 
coming next by deepening our wisdom and compassion,
both for ourselves and others.

By turning toward the Soul, the Heart, the Self, and attuning
to its intelligence and guidance, we can recommit to our
unique path of transformation, and remember what is
most important.

Each of us is called in our own way towards a life of
wholeness, purpose, and meaning, and we each have our
own hurt, pain, grief and wounding to tend to.

We affect, and are affected by, those around us.  We are
affected by life everywhere.  We come to this life with
unique gifts, and ways of engaging The Mystery.

We have all been wounded and the path of seeing our
wounds as initiation is one that is as old as recorded
history.  It is not an easy path, but one that is imbued
with mercy, grace, and a certain poetic beauty.  It is a
path of courage and kindness...

It is essential that we honor our unique sensitivities and
eccentricities and open to the possibility that even our
deepest wounding may be filled with guidance,
medicine and meaning.  [It is essential] to recommit
to the path of [the Soul], to embodied transformation
and healing, to participate consciously and access the
alchemical gold  at the core of our wounds as a gateway
to a life of deeper meaning, connection and aliveness.

Matt Licata, PhD

~

Photo from the internet

Grace Comes...

 Grace comes unbidden...
Her soft Presence comforts in the
coldest dawn and darkest night,
and sits with us when we are broken,
beaten down by the "life game"...

She is the antidote for an aching heart
and struggling body...

She hears your silent tears...
and walks with you...

Grace brings you love and kindness
to endure the crosswinds that bite...

It's all Grace -
come to bind the wounds from those
who tried to suffocate your voice,
who tried to kill your spirit...

She softens the heart
and clears the pain from your vision...

She is always with us,
even in the death of the body.
She is "the beautiful woman sitting on
the fence," come to take you "home,"
or to your next "journey" -
wherever that may be...

Grace has come, Grace has come!

She is singing her love song!

There is nothing to do but surrender
and let Grace sing her song of Love
to the weary heart...

Listen...

Mystic Meandering
April 8, 2021

The reference to "the beautiful woman on the fence"
is something my mother experienced during her
dying process 2 years ago...

Hospice said she was hallucinating, but we knew she was *seeing.*
She saw a beautiful woman sitting on the fence out her window,
at the top of a small incline, on many occasions.
She said: "the beautiful woman on the fence
has come to take me on my next journey."

Grace Comes...

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

Feel Your Feelings - Fred LaMotte

[.....]

It is good, it is very good
to feel precisely
what I am feeling,
even grief, and despair.
For when I am completely
what I feel,
there is transformation
and healing.

No darkness left

to penetrate,
for I am all night.
This is how light is born.
This is how the bud
breaks open, spilling
beauty from a wound.
This is how the chrysalis
frees a golden moth
from its season
of uncertainty.
This is how your tear
becomes the sky.

Fred LaMotte
Uradiance

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

In The Garden of Time - Chuck Surface

[.....]

Some of our deepest wounds,
Are judgments, self-inflicted,
Endless paper cuts upon our spirit,
Made by an inherently imperfect 'self',
Despising its imperfection.

When in fact, the green-stemmed fruit,
The infant petals in a sheltering bud,
Are as they should be, in their time,
On schedule to arrive, in their time,
In this Dream of passing seasons.

For here, in The Garden of Time,
What is not yet, becomes what is,
And what is, becomes what was,
And our manifest Being, ever ripening,
Is not yet, now, as it will be, then.

On this Path of Love and Surrender,
Tend gently the seedling of the Heart,
Doing the needful, as you are able,
But then Surrender, giving yourself over,
Sweet unripened...

To The Beloved Gardner.

Chuck Surface
In The Garden of The Beloved Facebook

Holy Wounds - Pesha Joyce Gertler

Finally on my way to [saying] yes [to life]
I bump into
all the places
where I said no...

all the untended wounds
the red and purple scars
those hieroglyphs of pain
carved into my skin, my bones,
those coded messages
that send me down
the wrong street
again and again
where I find them
the old wounds

the old misdirections
and I lift them
one by one
close to my heart
and say - holy
holy...

Pesha Joyce Gertler

"The Healing Time"

via: Beyond the Fields We know

Sorry the photo is not clear
it was taken many years ago
with a very old camera,
but I like the colored water :)

"Simple Minded"

My mother is becoming more “simple minded” – meaning – she is showing clearer signs of dementia. She has been “showing signs” for several years, but it is more pronounced now. Within 5 mins she has forgotten what you have said, especially if it is detailed, has to be reminded over and over again, and is learning to write things down. The other day she said to me – after having to repeat myself several times – “I am beginning to forget things.” She has been “beginning” to forget for years now, but is only now just noticing the forgetting – or let’s say – is now accepting and admitting it. I think she’s known for a while, but could hide it. Well, she *thought* she could, but the rest of us knew. But she can’t hide it from herself anymore. And gets frustrated when we pick up on it, and doesn’t like being questioned in order to seek clarity.

In many ways her strong-willed, head strong personality has changed. That’s what personalities do, they change and in some cases dissolve… She seems more “simple” now – not asserting her power, her will, her motherly authority, her need to control; instead getting lost in herself, and lost in simple things, in simpleness. And I wonder if “she” is getting lost. I’m sure the fact that she can’t see well, or hear well has only added to her “simpleness.” And I wonder if this is such a bad thing – this simple mindedness that allows us to come out from hiding – and just be… But I also wonder to myself if one loses the awareness that we are more than our self, our personhood, (if one has ever realized that, if you know what I mean). And if we do lose that sense of inner Beingness - what then...

In some ways she is easier to be around because there are fewer “personality struggles”, as if this simple mindedness has allowed the veil of personality to drop somewhat – but not by volition. I see her vulnerability and fragility of mind and body – and I soften. I feel compassion for her, and yet frustration arises because her cognitive abilities and comprehension are slipping. She is less and less able to understand. She gets information wrong, and therefore passes on incorrect information, which tends to get everybody else’s wires crossed.

I feel compassion as well as anger and irritation when she can’t “get it”, or gets confused, or can’t get the words out. On the one hand I want to try to explain things to her so she can understand, and be understood, but realize it doesn’t do any good. She is incapable of understanding complexity, and her mind forgets. Her brain isn’t working like it used to. I understand that but it is hard to experience. Neither is mine for that matter. I am losing my words… I can describe what the word I’m groping for does, but sometimes just can’t come up with the word, which boggles my mind even more. How could I *remember* how to describe what a word does, but *forget* the word…. Strange brain… It is disconcerting to lose the ability to articulate… So we laugh about the fact that we are both losing our words, both forgetting. But the reality of it is, well, scary - this untimely “simple-mindedness” that creeps in over time as we age.

In Mom’s simple-mindedness I notice that she relies on things being as they always have been, how things used to be, on things being consistent, reliable, and gets confused when they are not. Don’t we all! And yet, she seems adaptable as well – able to move with life as it is, through her simpleness. Not a bad quality actually. Isn’t that what I’ve been trying to do all these years on a “spiritual path” – find the simpleness and simplicity of just living – just being. But I am *aware* that this is what I’ve been doing. And I know it’s not really the same. When the brain-mind starts to go it’s really a forced simpleness through a loss of connection somewhere in the brain, which means *her* reality of things doesn’t always coincide with actual reality. Well, neither does mine actually! :) And I don’t see that as “bad” either! :) It’s just what’s happening now…

My sister, you remember - the prickly personality, lives with her, and is having a hard time with Mom’s simple-mindedness. Her own brain being short-circuited through years of drug abuse and alcohol - is also forgetting; although insists her memory is accurate, which creates unnecessary conflict. She cannot adjust to my mother’s growing simpleness, and is short-fused. Mom is no longer able to be who she was, or the image of who we want her to be – the “mother.” That role is dropping as well. My mother was never really “mothering” in the sense of being the nurturer, the encourager, the emotional supporter. There really wasn’t much of a “heart connection.” The baggage and the woundings from all that are still there of course. But it’s really time to put that baggage down. In fact I think I already have, although I don’t remember when. It must have slipped out of my hands when I wasn’t looking. I realize there is no point in holding onto the baggage and trying to hold her accountable for old wounds that she can now neither understand nor do anything about. The time for discussion and trying to get her to understand, without creating more wounds, has passed. There is only what is…

I see that more and more. And I see that I am going to have to meet her in her simpleness - *her* reality – to accept her simple-mindedness – to allow her to simply be the way she is, without struggling against it, without closing my heart… I’m sure that will be a challenge for all of us - as we all slip down that rabbit hole of “simple-mindedness” together…

Fracture

The desolate place of woundings
is like a stark canyon of deeply creviced walls
and fractured fissures;
a fracture of the heart almost unbearable.

But within the fragmentation is Life.
Hidden deep within these canyoned walls
is an eternal
Light
glowing, throbbing, pulsating -
nestled and protected in a stony enclave,
formed from ages and ages of exposure to the
”elements” of separation…

But the enclave cracks open,
and the Heart Light is exposed
through the quaking of intense pain.
The tremors of trauma loosen and unwall
the hidden
Life
within
revealing a pureness
of innocent vulnerability…

Like the awakening of first light,
gentle, full and graceful,
this shimmering brilliance emerges from
the fissure of fragmentation,
releasing its full expression,
pulsing the message of Love:

“Embrace it all.”


~♥~

Mystic Meandering
copyright
June 17, 2001

~

The Light finds an opening for ItSelf
*through* our shadows,
our fractures,
our woundings,
which allows us
to experience Its Fullness,
Its Grace…

May all who have felt fractured
by life’s woundings come to a
place of embrace
and rest…

Welcome The Heart Arrows

For several weeks now I’ve been feeling a very intense emotional kind of “heartpain”… No particular event, trauma, or wound comes to mind – just a generic kind of universal human experience wound of the heart. Arrow arriving in the fence nearly two weeks ago was a timely metaphor for looking at this pain, and seeing through the wound into the womb of the Heart…

In the exuberance of opening to the Heart, as has been happening here, there is now an opening and “outpouring” of the wounds that have been held here – the wounds of this life experience that have been hidden in the heart. This does not mean that I am “suffering” with any kind of victimization, or wallowing in old wounds, lost in the memories of old betrayals, and arrows. None of the wounds needs to be identified or rehashed. It’s more of a natural process of release of the accumulated “pain of life” as a whole. As I acknowledge this deep pain, these wounds and their subsequent armoring are being relieved of their duty to guard and protect this heart… But I didn’t realize the process would be so “painful” – requiring such mindfulness not to fall off the edge into story again – to not fall into the unconscious pit of pain…

Last week I just happened to pull Pema Chodron down off the shelf. I like to keep her handy. :) As I scanned through her pages my eyes fell on a few sentences here and there. One phrase in particular was rather timely I thought. She said: “Get in touch with the arrow in your heart and *relate to the wound.* Feel the wounded heart… If someone comes along and shoots an arrow in your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person (or situation). It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that there’s an arrow in your heart and *relate to that wound.*” Wow – okay – heart begins to twitter… She says that by coming face to face with our wounds and relating to them, actually allowing ourselves to *feel* the rawness of them, the heart actually opens more, and we find the spacious tender heart of bodhichitta – the awakened Heart - underneath the pain. She says that every arrow, every wound is an opportunity to open to this deeper space of the Heart – and relate to That… She does not say to suppress them, or deny that we have them, but to face the wound directly and *it* will lead you to the tender Heart of Hearts underneath… Okay, sign me up for another Heart excursion… I’ll bring the bandages and tape…

However, it appears I’m already on one – and have been for a long time… It is not something I remember consciously choosing to do, or planning to do; it is just happening. Life circumstances have provided the opportunities - the arrows… Maybe ultimately this “outpouring” is happening now because many years ago my desire was to live with an open heart, and I think I thought it was going to happen easily and automatically – maybe even create a by-pass around those clogged arteries. You know, just put in your wish and the magic happens – you awaken and pour out gobs of love and bliss. My life hasn’t worked that way… I didn’t know what “heart opening” would entail, or feel like, and I don’t think I brought along the right gear… No matter, this heart is apparently opening anyway, whether I’m prepared or not, revealing its accumulated contents, and the tender Heart Womb beyond the wounds. I’m in labor here - birthing into the womb of the Heart… Geeze this birth canal is long and dark and there’s no air!

Interestingly, at the end of January I experienced a rather intense period of “heartpain.” So I went to “The Cave” and sat with this “heartache.” I breathed *into* the “pain”, deeply and consciously attending to it. I faced into it internally and took a good look… There was the sense that this “deep pain” was some kind of encasement around the heart, protecting a deeper more vulnerable space. Within the encasement of pain there was a deep light, although I could only see its faint glow. Through the encasement, which was transparent, I could feel beyond the solidity of the pain to a tenderness, a gentle space – the soft heart as Pema calls it. There was also a sense that the pain was also a “gate”, an opening into something unguarded and untouched. I realized that the experience of pain, no matter what the cause, is really an invitation, not an obstacle or barrier. It’s an invitation to open more to the Deep Heart. It’s not enough to just meet the pain, one must follow the pain all the way through into the Womb of the Heart…

It turns out that Arrow in the fence was a messenger of sorts, not only to relate differently to my neighbor, but to welcome the arrows of the heart, to deeply attend the wounds, and allow the light to come through them – the openings that life’s arrows have left behind…

~*~

Check out this piece of prose from Ameeta at Self discovery self

Serenity's Sanctuary - Allowing

All old paradigms, perceptions, perspectives and judgments

don’t matter anymore.

It is time to see things new – through Innocence and Love –

despite the pains and frustrations, wounds and traumas that are

emerging through the physical body and the collective body.

Embrace it all in Innocence.

This is the lesson:

To see Love in everything.

It is the Divine Truth of all things.

~

Compassion is the embrace of what is;

seeing what is, clearly and cleanly, without a need to fix.

Just embrace. Just hold.

Just suspend in what is.

See what is and embrace it without changing it.

That is compassion.

~

Accept the “wounds” as arising in the field of Being,

as part of your fabric, your dance of Life.

Just move with it.

Don’t try to figure it out, or analyze it.

Just let it all be what it is.

~

All that is required is allowing.

Allow Being to Be.

Just allow whatever moves to move, to be.

It’s just Isness Be-ing.

Let the “me” function rest.

What happens when you let the “me” function rest

and just allow?

~

Being breaks through the confusion, the illusion, the mind.

Being breaks through for union with Itself…

Being wants to break through, to come Alive,

to Express.

Sweet Serenity...

~

From: Postcards from the Heart

compilations of insights from the Heart of Being

Photo by Bill Kennedy