Befriending Ourselves - Matt Licata

At some point along the way, each of us will be asked
to revision the ideas that have accompanied us to this
moment in our lives.  Although at times the call arrives
quietly and slowly, as a whisper guiding us into new
territory, for many it comes as an unexpected visitor,
erupting in the night as we find ourselves in transition,
confused, angry, heartbroken, uncertain, or depressed.
However it arrives, it is a reminder that even our most
sacred identities and beliefs tend to become encrusted
over time, worn-out symbols of a living reality no longer
so alive.  Somehow what was clear only days or even
moments ago lost its meaning and is no longer able to
accompany us into the next phase.

[.....]

To see our pain, confusion and struggle as an intelligent
communication from the deepest parts of ourselves is a
radical approach... To suffer consciously is an ancient,
sacred art lost in our time, replaced by a well-intentioned
solar self-help industry designed to take us out of the 
darkness and complexity and into consistent joy, flow,
happiness, and bliss...

[.....]

True healing is not a state in which we become liberated from
feeling, but freer and flexible to experience more fully the
deeper, more complex, and more nuanced dimensions of the
psyche... to touch the fullness of what it means to have taken
birth here....in the universal human experience.

[.....]

This exploration [of befriending ourselves] is not oriented in
transcending our vulnerability - fleeing into a state of power,
untouchability, and control - or safely hiding in some protected
spiritual cocoon where we've risen above it all.  It is not taking
refuge in spiritual concepts.  It is in knowing that in any moment
life will reorganize and rearrange all our constructed spiritual
identities and fantasies...

[.....]

We will never feel fully alive through embracing only those
feelings, images, and parts of ourselves that our families,
societies and [religious] authorities claim are worthy and
valid, but only through the courage required to embrace the
entire display, to befriend it all, and to transform the raw
material of our lives into the luminous expression of
wisdom and love in all its forms...

Matt Licata

Excerpts from the Introduction to his book:
A Healing Space:
Befriending Ourselves in Difficult Times

~

Photo - from the Internet

 

The Guest House - Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Rumi

 

The Guest - Rumi

 This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes as an
unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Rumi

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

The Beyonce Bounce

I’m assuming that most of you have seen enough TV to know who Beyonce is… (I can’t get the little mark on the e – sorry). I am not a fan, but I have seen clips of her music videos on TV from time to time, especially the video of her doing that funny little bent over bounce movement in her leotards and high heels that became so popular when Pres. Obama was running. Anyway. What does this have to do with awareness, spirituality, Beingness you might ask… :)

Well, Sunday – still in the dumpster mind you, having awakened for the umpteenth day in a row with sadness waiting at the bedside – “we” – sadness and I – decorated the Holiday Tree. We have an artificial tree – no groans please. It is a tree that has been in my husband’s family for 42 years! We have had it for the last 15. So head elf assembled the tree as he normally does. We hung the lights together. Elf brought the decoration boxes up from the basement and I began the task of decorating – feeling a little lack-luster for the occasion.

I put a little mood music on. In this case it was Manheim Steamroller’s version of instrumental Christmas Carols. We like the non-traditional stuff. There are several songs on there that are upbeat and bouncy. I started rummaging through the larger boxes, pulling out the smaller ornament boxes, making the HUGE decision of where they should go on the tree… I noticed that “sadness” became a little less clingy, less needing my attention. Don’t know exactly where she went, but she wasn’t harping at me like she had been. So I went about the rather automatic task of pulling ornaments out of boxes, stepping back, looking at the tree, deciding where the next one should go, and then placing the ornament. No mind engagement needed here – just choose, look and place, ornament by ornament. A rhythm began to be established. Along with each ornament came the memories of who had given it and when. Sadness’ cousin grief nuzzled in with the memories of those passed on. And I thought – oh boy – here we go…

However, the next thing I knew I was – here it comes – bent over a box, deciding on the next ornament, bouncing to the beat of the music – the Beyonce Bounce! Oh my! Now you’d have to picture me. No high cut leotards and shapely legs here. No, too much dumpster diving chocolate over the last couple of months has packed on a few too many pounds – so it is sweat pants and turtle necks for me! But that’s not the point :)

In the instant of discovering that I was bouncing to the music – feeling JOY – I also became experientially aware that “I” was still also feeling sadness – in the background. I became acutely aware of the fact that “I” was capable of holding both joy and sadness at the same time! The awareness and experience of this was so incredulous that it cracked open my heart like a nutcracker cracking open a walnut, and tears and laughter flooded the living room. As I continued to bounce and emote, Elf emerged from the basement with another arm load of boxes. The look of concern on his face brought on more laughter and tears, as I’m sure that he thought that maybe tree decorating had been too challenging and sent me over the edge. Instead it brought me back to Reality: *Everything* is held in Absolute Presence – Awareness - Consciousness - at all times! Of course! Everything *is* Absolute Consciousness. Some brain cell somewhere knew this - I think – ;) But I had to experience it anew, in the moment, to *feel* it viscerally for the light of awareness to go on.

And it’s not so much that “I” was “holding” them, as that I realized that they co-exist *in* the space of Awareness/Consciousness! “They”, along with everything else we experience, co-exist there, appear there, rise and fall there from moment to moment, from experience to experience. I don’t know why this realization was such a shock to me, but it was a de-lightful “shock” of awareness that awakened the truth again in that moment – and for some reason sadness bowed her head and began to let go of her grip, like a mist lifting off the pavement after the rain. And if she returns, which I’m sure she will, I will welcome her visit again, realizing there’s nothing “wrong” in her being here. She is always free to come and go, along with all my other “visitors” that consistently show up at my door wearing different disguises. There’s always room for *all* the feelings and experiences that Life brings…

Maybe this was the “gift” waiting for me in the dumpster…