Snow Dusting...

We had a dusting of snow over night,
along with the magic of Adobe Fireworks :)

"It's our illusions that dissipate *about* reality..."

Les Collins

"It doesn't really matter what role
the Infinite plays.
The Absolute and the Relative
are both true."

Ken Wilber

Winter Sky, Duality, and Danna Faulds...

This morning I woke up thinking – as usual - feeling discouraged that it is not the Vastness of the Infinite that I experience first thing, but the mind with its thoughts.  And then it occurred to me that thinking was not really the problem.  It was my perception.  Thinking arises in the Infinite.  It is a function of the Infinite Mind.  There is no separate “thinker.”   You can’t *stop* thinking.  If we attempt to get rid of “thinking” we create duality – the mind vs the Infinite.  But the mind and thought are not separate from the Infinite, as if one is better than the other.  It is all the Infinite living Itself – even through the mind…  Thinking is not a problem.  It’s just a matter of bringing our awareness to the Presence of the Infinite Vastness within that is aware of thinking happening…

 “I am everywhere present’”

said the Infinite.
Seek me in the stately trees
or the melodies of sparrows
and you will surely find me.

Look for me in the Buddha’s smile,
the countenance of Christ,
the words of the Koran and Sanskrit prayers.
I am always there.

Turn your attention to the sky
where the movements of moon and stars
trace my beauty…

Experience true emptiness
and my presence permeates the void.
Now bring your focus closer
to your heart.
Grow still and find me within you.

Separation dissolves like salt water
when you experience your true identity as me.

From knower and perceived,
seer and seen,
from two comes One.

Practice devotion and let go into the ocean
of my love,
or be the open space from which all things arise.

One and two,
duality and union,
are both true.

So I say to you be jubilant,
and be at peace,
for inside you is the seed and fruit,
the tree and root.

Choose to be in communion with me
and see the whole of this
creation unfused with one energy…”

Danna Faulds
From: Prayer to the Infinite

 “The ordinary and the unified field

don’t just co-exist,
they coincide in the same place,
at the same time.
Divine and human
can’t be teased apart -
there is no separate thread
to pull heart from mind and soul.

There is only the unbroken chain of wholeness
forged link by link in a continuum.
What is sacred and awake is
inextricably braided into the everyday,
but we forget that we can’t dissect
the mundane from the radiant.

We lose ourselves in the rush to get
things done.

Our memory grows dim
and there is such longing.
We desperately seek something,
anything,
to plug us back into what we’ve always been,
forgetting that the disconnect is only an illusion,
easily erased in the choice to see the truth…”

Danna Faulds
From: Prayer to the Infinite

 “I was born to bridge

the pairs of opposites
to span the apparent
distance between light
and dark,
joy
and sorrow.

I exist to see past differences,
to open my arms
so wide that all
I can see and know
and be
is inside my reach.

I am here to give and receive love;
so closely attuned to All That Is
that breathing is an act
of passionate attraction.

I am not caught,
but freed by the seeming
contradictions between
seer and seen,
knower
and
unknown…

In the tidal ebb and flow
between lover and beloved
I explore the rugged
coastline of surrender…”

Danna Faulds
From: Prayers to the Infinite

Danna Faulds is a poet, writer,
practitioner and teacher
of Kripalu Yoga

~

The other morning I imagined that “i”, this ‘me”, this “self”, that I have been conditioned to *believe* is separate from the Infinite, dissolved into the vast Ocean of the Infinite, like an ice cube melting into the vast expanse of the Ocean of Existence. They are the same Essence. And  I remembered, once again, that there is really no separateness between "me" and the Infinite, even though I often live that way…  “i” is a wave of the Ocean, moving with the Ocean, as the Ocean…  Everything dissolves back into the Infinite Ocean, into one continuous movement of Infinite Consciousness from where thinking and “i” arise…  

”Become the sky…
Take an axe to the prison wall…
Walk out like someone born into color.

You’re covered with a thick cloud.
Slide out the side…”

Rumi

~

You might also like to read my own meditative writings

on the subject:

Primordial Presence

Nature's Canvas...

I wish I could say this was my art, but no, they are Nature’s canvases, with a little help from Adobe Fireworks. J The Fall colors around here were not all that spectacular this year, and none of my photos came out all that well, so I used the “Invert” function to create these photos of nature that look like paintings!

  

“When your heart sees Reality
then every atom of creation
is a window…”

Llwellyn Vaughan-Lee
Sufi Mystic

“There is no distinction
between reality and unreality.
It’s all a perceived experience…

There is only Isness.
Everything just Is.

Everything is the Real.
There’s no distinction
between Real and Illusion…”

Author unknown

Photo: Tree trunk reflected in a pond…

“Oneness = Divine Nature and man’s human nature,
Spirit one with its own human nature,
God’s indivisible oneness with the
essence of mankind…”

Bernadette Roberts

Christian Contemplative

Photo: Tree fallen in a pond with its top branches
half in and half out of the water, reflecting themselves…

“All things are living,
even stones.

It has to be that way;
energy pulsates from their bodies,
since all are part
of the Omnipresent
Living Being.”

Hafiz
Sufi Poet

Photo: Tree and Bridge reflected in pond

“If there is light somewhere
there is darkness.
The brighter the light
the darker the darkeness,
inseparable twins…

Something holds them both equally,
light and darkness,
surrendering itself joyfully
to the play of duality…”

Ameeta
Non-Duality Teacher

Photo: Tree stump reflected in a pond.

“We are fingers of God’s Awareness.
We are all God’s perception.”

Ram Dass

Hindu

“It’s all the Self-existent
uncreated Absolute.”

Huang Po – Zen Master

Plumbing the Depths...

Do not be afraid to
plumb
the
depths
of your Being,
of Truth;
to question
everything
you
have
learned



Take the journey deeply inward
to your beginnings – and endings;
to the Silent hum
in the Heart
of all Life
that sings,
and
see
for
your
self.




There are many caravans to follow,
those aspiring to enlighten you
with their words,
left like firewood to light your way,
along the road…


But only in Sacred Silence can the journey be made
to the Heart of Being;
to discover the depths of Being ~
of That which you are;
That which wants to
live,
express,
and love
Here


Do not let fear stop your descent
into the inner Vastness:
the
deep Ocean
of the awakened
Heart…


Be still,
and open…


Follow the plumb line,
of your breath,
past the Furies and the Sirens
into the soft ebullience
of Love,
and quiet Joy,
waiting for you,
like ethereal
liquid pools
of Light,
drawing
you
in



Rest Here



In
the
depths
of
this
Alive
Silent
Spacious
Awareness

Listen to the endless
Rhythm already
holding
you
in the cradle
of the Heart…




Feel
the
pervasive
contentment
of Life
Here
in
the
depths of
Sacred
Silence,
that animates
every cell,
every atom,
every sound,
every thought,
every feeling ~
until you know
THIS
as
your
self


Simply Living…




Mystic Meandering
©April 17, 2012

Fun-Qi Art™
©2010

The Abode of Awareness...

Sitting in the effulgence of
Silent Awareness…

Returning
to the welcoming abode
of
“The Beloved”

The deep space of
A w a r e n e s s
keeps pulling me in

Enticing me
to be aware of Awareness:
to acknowledge Its Presence…

To
listen
d
e
e
p
l
y
.
.
.



I give it a capital “A” – Awareness
because it is the Aware Consciousness
out of which this “I” thought came;
that “I” has taken form from -
that “we” all have…

I sometimes call it “The Beloved”…
It has many names – this Awareness
that we are,
that we emerged from
as Life ItSelf;
and is no-name as well…


The Unknown…




Sitting in the abode of Awareness
I remember the feel of
ITs Presence;
feeling the transparency of
the boundaryless ”connection;”
the endless s p a c i o u s n e s s
that awares Life living;
that experiences everything
as its own
unlit light...

Life living ItSelf
in
the vast
and
rhythmic
sound of Living…

Sounding every aspect of Itself,
as if getting a feel for its
own depth,
and its own surface landscape;
aware of it all as ItSelf…




I had forgotten – once again -
this inner Alive Awareness
that knows us intimately
as ItSelf…

Our pain, sorrow, grief;
our laughter and joy,
are inexplicably
ITs own


Inseparable


It knows our shadow
as ITs Light,
and embraces
all darkness
as ITs own -
because
IT is -
ITs own…

Light…

that knows
no darkness…


The grief, the loss,
the sadness, the suffering…
All ITs own;
feeling what we feel,
experiencing what we experience
as ItSelf…


Ever-present
Ever-aware
Ever-open
to all experience…


Not an empty, cold, conceptual
hollow barrel of nothingness…


But the Vastness of Life intimately living ItSelf…
OMing Existence into existence…
Breathing ItSelf into Life -
into the beauty that IT is…
Breathing ItSelf
into every wound of pain
and suffering
with ITs soft caress of
L o v e…

Loving Present Awareness
that knows our Hearts
as its own,
and dances with
Joy
in
the
delight
of
knowing
it
all
.
.
.





I had forgotten THIS…
The feel of this deep intimacy
in ITs complete and utter Embrace;
ITs total enfoldment;
ITs inclusiveness
of all that we are.
Forgotten the once known
innocence of
being
touched
by such a Vastness
of
Loving Awareness…



Opening to ITs touch…

“I” step back into the
awareness of
the
living, breathing
abode
of
A w a r e n e s s


Life


Mystic Meandering
April 4, 2012

Who Are You.....Really?

I found this beautifully inspiring video...

It was words I needed to hear,
to Remember…
May they inspire you too…

Video by: Kosi

The voice is Gangaji

Winter's Whimsies...

“Regard everything as transparent.
See through everything.

See that everything is in transition.

Liberate your concepts and beliefs.

Let go of the need for an “answer”,
a solution, a resolution…

Rest in the nature of Essence ~
The Primordial State of everything.

Be a child of fantasy.
Be curious instead of afraid…”


Quotes from Pema Chodron

When you can let yourself
really be
who and how
you are…
No one else
will have much
problem with it…

Practice letting yourself just BE!



Robyn Posin
For The Little Ones Inside

All life moves in cycles…

What has been
must often come apart
before what is to be
can come together…

Remember to honor
your courage
in the midst
of the
coming apart times.


Robyn Posin
For The Little Ones Inside

“What if we could really see the world
without a sense of separateness?

We must see what lies beyond
the perception of polarities…

Individuals are indivisible...
We are all “connected” through
our spacious Awareness…

Awareness is not about labeling different
”takes” on reality.
Awareness allows all ways of seeing to exist...
If you are rooted quietly in Awareness
you are fully aware of
the whole picture…”

Ram Dass
Be Love Now

“…..the deepest level of communication
is not communication, but communion.

It is wordless…

It is beyond words,
and it is beyond speech,
and it is beyond concept.

We discover we are already one.
But we imagine that we are not.

What we have to be
is what we already are…”


Thomas Merton

Prickly Personalities...

My sister has a prickly personality. She tends to be brash, disagreeable, black and white, right or wrong, self-righteous, judgmental, very angry and critical of everyone and everything, creating a very toxic environment. We have had a lot of prickly people in our family tree. In fact the whole family dynamic is rather prickly. We all end up walking on eggshells – except the prickly people. :)

Anyway, she’s rather unpleasant to be around. I tend to unconsciously protect myself from her negative energy when I’m around her. I understand where she’s coming from because I too have had a “prickly personality.” I understand that her prickly personality means that she feels fearful, unloved, wounded, overwhelmed and victimized by life, not realizing that the world doesn’t revolve around her or for her, and that she keeps everyone at arms length with her constant need to be in control, using anger and criticism as a false sense of power. It has been humbling for me to see this reflection. Thankfully my “spiritual path” (and some good therapy :) has led me down a different road - a road of awareness; becoming more self-aware of my unconscious patterns, as well as more *Self* Aware. That is, more aware of my core Beingness – that still, silent place of Conscious Awareness within us all. But the tendencies are still there. I did not escape them, I only became aware of them, and over time I have softened and learned a different way of being in the world; which is not to say that I have perfected this “new” way of being. I can still get prickly at times.

I have been reading a very inspiring book by Oriah Mountain Dreamer called: The Call. While reading, the phrase: “Meet her in her wholeness” came to me. And with that, the sudden realization that I didn’t need to try to protect myself *from* my sister, but to meet her in her Beingness – that place of wholeness within her - from that same place within myself. Instead of shutting down and protecting myself against her negative energy I could consciously “sit back” into (internally become aware of) my own felt sense of Beingness/Wholeness and meet her, eye-to-eye, Being to Being.

I decided to experiment with this one day. As she railed on at what was wrong with the world, with that familiar blank look in her eyes, I just silently sat listening, while at the same time “connecting” with (becoming aware of) my own sense of silent Beigness within - looking right into her eyes. As I did, I noticed a slight softening in her eyes and demeanor, as if there was an inner recognition – Being to Being. It lasted for only a brief moment, and then that blank veil came back over her eyes, and she went on railing at the world. The difference was that I was aware that I could now meet her from a place of wholeness. By *remembering* my own Beingness, by consciously becoming aware of this space in me, I could meet her Wholeness, her Beingness behind the shield she constantly throws up to protect herself – and from behind my own unconscious shield.

This is not to sound magnanimous at all. This is not about ‘me’, but about awareness, and re-discovering a way of being and relating that I have forgotten in the chaos of family dynamics. Clearly I don’t always remember to meet my sister in this “new” way because her unconscious ways ruffle the feathers of my prickly personality. There is still a reactional instinct to push back, to get angry, and to respond in kind – to want to change her, fix her, make her behave. But I also see her suffering, and want to respond to that – if I can find a way in…

When I remember to remember the Wholeness of Being within myself and relate from there; trusting Beingness that *sees* through the prickly personality, something “magical” happens – sometimes; a recognition of Beingness in the "other." Isn’t that what we all want – a mirror of our Beingness; to be met in our Wholeness – Being to Being. I don’t think this is pie-in-the-sky idealism. Experiencing and living from our Essential Nature is not just a fantasy. It’s the Way of Being. Or is that a little too prickly... :)

~~


“Embracing your wholeness is the greatest gift you can give to others.”

Christine Wushke
Journey to Light

~~

“All things are made of the same sacred presence, stillness…”
”All things emanate from and return to and are never
separated from a vast and sacred wholeness.”

“This spaciousness that we are is not
indifferent to the suffering that we feel
when we have forgotten what we are.
It reaches out to us, calls to us.”

‘It is the Great Mystery.
It is what we are made of,
and what everything and everyone
is made of.
It is what we participate in
with every breath.”

“We will never be happy
or truly able to live and
love fully
until we find our way of living
from an awareness of the deep stillness
at the center of what we are
- our essential nature -
which is wakefulness, awareness,
love, peace, truth and beauty.”

“Look at your own life from within
that sense of quiet stillness
that you are.
You will see this inner essence,
this innocence, like a bright thread
woven throughout the center of your life.
Living it consciously is why you are here…”


Quotes from: The Call
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Silent Soundings...

Soundings from Silence


~~~

Existence “exists” in a field
of Silent Awareness
Everything is “held” in this space –
suspended in deep Silence…

~~~

I feel myself slipping deeper into the Silence,
slipping off the shore of the mind,
into the deep internal Silence -
the depths of the Ocean of Aware Knowing,
in which *everything* is suspended…

~~~

This Silent Awareness *wants* to be found,
recognized, acknowledged, known…

Who really *lives* here?
What animates this human self?
What animates this body-mind?
What functions the cells?
Who *lives* this body?

Who is it that *wants* to be recognized as *living* here?

~

A recognition of Self occurs – of Being-Self,
of Deep Awareness, of the Who/What that
lives this body, animates and functions this body...

I am being lived...

~~~

Inspiration arises from this deep Silence.
Creativity arises spontaneously.
Words arise from here without thinking them…

~~~

Resting deeply with no agenda, no seeking

just experiencing the deep rest of Silence,
I feel the pull of the depths of unavoidable,
irresistible Silence...

I recognize this space ~~~

I am being freshly bathed
in the waters of Silence ~


I am being breathed
by Silence ~~~

~*~



“To be aware of the embrace in which
Existence holds us
is the greatest gift…”

Deva Premal
From her CD - “Embrace”

~

"Only when you drink from the river
of Silence
shall you sing…"

Kahlil Gibran

~


Photos–
Top - Vortex Art
#2 – Inside of Earthenware Pot
#3 – Shadow Ripples on Counter
#4 – Shadow on Wall
#5 – Heart Shape Water Droplet


~

You might also like these past posts;
Silent Window
Symphony of Silence - Poem
A Prayer of Silence

Family Vortex - Victims and Vampires

It seems I get right to the edge of losing my self and falling into the spaciousness of the Vortex of Light, about to fully surrender into the vast pool of Love, when “life as it is” calls me back from the edge every time; sucking me back into dreamland again… How does this happen, I continue to ask myself…

In this case, as in most other cases, it’s the requirements of family needs, of an aging mother and a sibling with chronic back problems. Both have legitimate physical disabilities, one with failing memory and cognitive abilities as well. But the emotional dynamics of our family dysfunction feels like a play of Victims and Vampires.

With my own aging process and physical ailments I’m finding it more and more difficult to be of assistance to them without completely draining my own life force energy and physical body of its stamina. And I wonder sometimes *how* am I going to continue to do this – to be available to them on a daily basis - as was the case this week. I know there are many of you out there who are, or who have taken care of aging parents, and disabled family members, and so this may come across as a little whiney as I feel my victim-self arise. She wants to know who will take care of her, who will be there for her when this body gives out. I feel trapped by the family vortex and resentment arises - afraid that I’ll be devoured by the vortex of vampire energies needing me – lost in their vortex forever. Sounds *self*-centered, I know.

I will spare you the details of the current situation, but the family dynamic involves a kind of do things only just in time, and just as needed, where those in need don’t take care of themselves in a timely fashion, but wait for crisis point and hope that somehow “The Universe”/God will “take care of everything” – believing “there is a reason for everything.” This keeps everyone involved on an emotional edge – waiting for something to happen, for someone to rescue, for someone *else* to make a decision and take responsibility.

One of the “victims” in this play feels victimized and angered by life circumstances – feels life is happening *to* them, not seeing that the choices they have made in life have created the issues they now face. Neither do they see the impact that their choices are having on others – how they have actually turned into energy vampires. This “victim” *thinks* they are the center of the universe and everything is supposed to happen *for* them… The Universe evidently is supposed to move solely on their behalf. But that doesn’t happen and they end up trying to control everything, to lessen their fear of powerlessness and helplessness - grabbing a false sense of power wherever they can – usually through anger and control. I know, I’ve been there done that… :) And more often than I like to admit I re-visit that space of resentment, anger and control because of my own fear that I will not get what I need... Another *self*-centered fear...

Another victim in this play can also be “self-sacrificing,” giving in to “the victim,” sacrificing their own needs, taking the brunt of the other victim’s wrath. Unable to enjoy life if someone is in pain or suffering (another role I know well), they feel it is their obligation to suffer with those who suffer, but their “caring” is often a mask for a detached piety, and need to be in control. It amazes me the false sense of power that is wielded in this play!

When I am in the family vortex, I am in the moment with them, but I am just trying to get through that sucking energy. I cannot step out of the vortex. And I wish I could just open that aperture and fall into that pure Light and expanded space of Awareness – but I get lost in the vortex with them - feeling sucked in – oops victim language. But I am not “victim” here, I just haven’t seen all the way through this vortex, and I continue to buy into the story of victim and vampires, getting caught in a self-centered dream…

So that’s my little dream drama this week. Not one I really want to participate in, and yet, here I am – participating… It does however show me where I am still attached to the *self*-centered dream of me… And I realize that living in the dream of me is really only living at the edge of Life, always waiting, waiting to fall off the edge, but never really letting go and fully surrendering to the pull of Light; never really taking the plunge – and be devoured by Love…

~*~

We all survived the week and things have settled.
The story has changed, as it always does…

~*~

Art: this piece was done when I first started playing with Pastels,
probably sometime in 2005/2006

0-60

I don’t understand how this happens really, how I can go from O-6O so quickly. I had 3 wonderful days of Liquid Life, “Nirvana”, profound Peace, Bliss – Zero point – suspended in the Womb of the Heart last week. The tangible, expansive, felt sense of “The Beloved” was so deep and undeniable that I thought, wow, *this* is what all the spiritual teachers are talking about – the deep, incredible profound space of Absolute Awareness and the Peace that passes understanding. And now I’m steeping in anxiety again… Go figure.

I could feel it begin to rev up again uncontrollably a couple of days ago – life stuff you know – the usual stories – the mind latching onto them. And before I knew it my mind was like a race car speeding around that same old track – fixating on form once again – and everything blurred. Darn. I thought once one had slipped into that nirvanic womb all the old patterns just magically washed away. That happens to some I hear, everything just drops away – depression, fear, anxiety – whatever has ailed them dissolves into the liquid womb, and “they” are forever changed. That does not seem to be the case here – at least not permanently - which always leaves me feeling lacking, adding to the pain of separation – that strange mind malady; the pool of separateness that the mind likes to bathe in – the mud bath, which makes that speedway thought track a little messy…

So it’s back to “the chair” for extended R&R at the pool of Awareness again. Actually I’ve been sneaking away to “the chair” more lately – resting, deeply relaxing, turning my awareness to “The Beloved” as much as possible, basking in the deep Womb of the Heart – until Ms. Anxiety arrived. So now I will invite Ms. Anxiety to join me – she’s here anyway – idling her engines, raring to go. So I’ll take a look under the hood and see what her issues are this time. It’s always somethin’…

In the mean time I have my little reminders posted on the kitchen cabinet door for the forgetting times like these; reminders that underneath the blur of anxiety is still a peaceful depth of pure Silence that flows...

~*~

Top Photo - Blown glass ball radially blurred

The Womb of the Beloved

Every sound is Your vibration…
Every heart is Yours beating…
Every experience is Your experience,

felt in the Womb of Your Heart…

Every heartache is Your heartache…
Every pain is Your pain,

felt intimately in the Womb of Your Heart…

Every gesture of kindness and compassion
is Yours as well…

Every awareness is Your Awareing
from the Womb of Your Heart…

The Womb of Your Heart
is the liquid pool of Life
from which you
morph YourSelf
into form…

Liquid
Life



Mystic Meandering
copyright
Feb. 17, 2011


~*~

Photo – a clear glass sphere
sitting in a bed of glass pebbles


~*~

“The Beloved” that I speak of is not an “It”,
not an object, a persona, or
some-thing to be objectified,
achieved, grasped or owned.
It could also be called:
The Unknown, The Mystery, Emptiness,
Isness, Beingness, Formlessness,
True Nature, True Mind, Deep Mind,
Awareness,
The Heart,
Life ItSelf,
That which lives this body,
the Nameless “I”


~*~