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sometimes inspiring, sometimes personal meanderings of the Heart's opening in the every-day-ness of Life...

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Waking Up - again...

After what feels like *months* of contraction around “family tending”, family dysfunction, and the resurrection of unconscious emotional baggage, I woke up yesterday morning to Awareness again… Meaning – I became aware of that vast field of spacious Awareness that is the ground and function of our Being; a spacious stillness that is just there/here, aware-ing life, *being* life… It was like realizing something I already knew, as new – and my body-mind relaxed. Interesting. I felt the weight of the present circumstances lift. I felt lighter, fuller, taller, thinner (heh-heh) and Aware… The energy of Beingness hummed through my body like a familiar pulse. One could also call it Chi, the Life Force, Buddha Nature, Christ Consciousness, God-Consciousness, Supreme Intelligence, Inner Being, Nowness, Presence, Awareness, whatever your particular frame of reference is. The awareness of ‘This’ that we know as our Being is a very grounding feeling; a feeling of “connection” – of knowing that Life is being lived through the body.

When I physically woke up yesterday morning, I felt the usual angst about, and chaffing against, the day. I also had the thought – I’m tired of waking up like this, of going through life like this… I then remembered a breathing practice I used to do each morning before getting out of bed and started breathing into the Lower Dantien, (or Hara). As I did, my angst settled, and the internal Life energy started to move. Beingness “woke up” inside. Something inside was aware of every sound, feeling, sensation and thought, *without* immediately contracting around it in some kind of reactive response of judgment, or dislike. Even thoughts about family were just noticed to be thoughts. Awareness of this inner awake, aware Presence became my “goal” for the day. Part way through the day I lost “consciousness” :) (lost the felt sense of awareness of this ever-present field of Awareness) but - the awareness of un-awareness was just noticed too. I was just being/doing what was called for in each moment and being okay with whatever arose. It was a totally different orientation than the last several months – and totally welcome – finally…. Something so simple as awareness can seem so difficult when one is entrapped in the chaotic mind.

I also realized that this was probably one of the “gifts” of the Owl that had shown up for 3 days last month – the reminder to be still and aware – just being aware of the presence of Life flowing within, the presence of Presence, etc…

I recognized that my Inner Being/Spirit thrives through awareness of this field of Awareness that we all are: The awareness of our True Nature – the awareness of the Silent, Still, Awake, Aware Presence within - our Divinity, our Aliveness, however you know that to be. I rediscovered again that ‘This’ is where I really thrive – in the Breath and Pulse of Awareness.

~ ~ ~ ~

There are so many ways to wake up to and thrive in our Beingness. I so appreciate all of my blogger friends who shared how their Inner Being/Spirit thrives in the previous post. It helped bring me back to awareness of that Beingness, and how we nurture That. Here are highlights of the “thrivers” that I put together from everyone’s comments:


Time in places of Natural Beauty and quiet…
~
Listening to Dharma talks
(satsang/spiritual teachers)
~
Time to contemplate, be still and listen…
~
Connection with, and supporting others…
~
Love
~
Kindness and Compassion
~
Being authentic
~
Being in touch with ones wild nature
~
Paying attention to the senses
~
Lots of free time
~
Meditation
~
Exercise and Music
~
Cappuccinno - really? ;)
~
Creating/Creativity
~
Following the Breath
~
Awareness of Beingness
~


May we all sense our Inner Being thriving!

~ ~ ~

Photo: Last night’s Full Moon
as seen through a dirty skylight window
creating a “moon shadow.”

Nice effect – eh? :)





10 comments:

  1. The Full Moon Moment here is enchanting! And It's been wonderful to see Jupiter in the sky, so bright and shining, like a diamond next to the moon... I like how you expressed the sensations of being in touch with your vital life energy..."The energy of Beingness hummed through my body like a familiar pulse." Hum... that's how I often experience it as too, like a hum... almost a subtle buzzing sensation. It's pretty amazing when one is still and quiet enough to experience it! May the pulse be wit you, Christine... ;o) ((HUGS))

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  2. You must be an honorary Canadian, you said eh! Love the picture! And I want to study with the person that wakes up and thrives with cappuccino!

    I love your description of your state of "awareness", that intensity and focus reminds me a lot of post retreat states of being, that ability to just be.

    So pleased to hear of your return to this wonderful state you describe so we. I always remember my Zen teacher saying, "We do our training and we are not in control of what comes to us and when." "When all conditions ripen" is a phrase she used for the arrival of both pleasant and unpleasant experiences. Glad to hear your ripening was fruitful!

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  3. ZDS ~ Love your comment. Left me chuckling :) Actually I have Canadian ancestors (Nova Scotia). So yes, I am proudly an honorary Canadian! (not that I identify with any nationality - cough, cough :) I do get goose bumps when I hear the Canadian National Anthem. Must be in the DNA :) LOL

    Ah - the Capuccinno would be Kris. You'll need to talk to her about how that works :) I'm still not clear on that one.

    So true, we are not in control of what comes to us or when. So we remain open and receptive. I was glad to experience that place of "Awareness" again - to remember the felt sense. Today is a different day, but I continue to bring my awareness to Awareness and it helps to remember this *is* who we are... Many Bows and gratitude... C

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  4. OH!!! Glory BE!
    xoxo

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  5. Wow! Christine, thank you sharing your experience of that "waking". Your descriptions are such a gift! I want to read this many times over to help me put the brakes on my life. And as for coffee— I have no self-control, completely addicted. My son works for a coffee importer as a "quality" guy, so we are learning about the nuances of coffee all the time. I dream of the green-tea-life we used to live, and I know I have choices... but...

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  6. Kris ~ Thanks :) There have been many "awakenings" like this over the years. And each time it comes down to just remembering, or just being aware of what is Awake and Aware in us, our True Nature. And the coffee thing is hilarious! I mean If I could drink cappuccino's and "wake up" to my True Nature? - Wow! Am still wondering how that helps you remember who you are and to thrive in your Beingness :) LOL But if that works - go for it! I did have a teacher one time who was addicted to chocolate and she swore it helped her to connect with that place of spacious awareness more...

    Cheers and laughter! Thanks for your Presence here! C

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  7. Oh how wonderful - a gorgeous image of Lady Moon high and full. I've been floundering a bit too, also with family issues, and it was a joy to visit and read this profound and lovely post.

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  8. Dear Cate - Thank you for your visit :) My "Lady Moon" is kind of funky, compared to your wonderful photography, but She is mysterious looking. Thank you for coming over and leaving your lovely words... They are appreciated...

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