Waking Up - again...

After what feels like *months* of contraction around “family tending”, family dysfunction, and the resurrection of unconscious emotional baggage, I woke up yesterday morning to Awareness again… Meaning – I became aware of that vast field of spacious Awareness that is the ground and function of our Being; a spacious stillness that is just there/here, aware-ing life, *being* life… It was like realizing something I already knew, as new – and my body-mind relaxed. Interesting. I felt the weight of the present circumstances lift. I felt lighter, fuller, taller, thinner (heh-heh) and Aware… The energy of Beingness hummed through my body like a familiar pulse. One could also call it Chi, the Life Force, Buddha Nature, Christ Consciousness, God-Consciousness, Supreme Intelligence, Inner Being, Nowness, Presence, Awareness, whatever your particular frame of reference is. The awareness of ‘This’ that we know as our Being is a very grounding feeling; a feeling of “connection” – of knowing that Life is being lived through the body.

When I physically woke up yesterday morning, I felt the usual angst about, and chaffing against, the day. I also had the thought – I’m tired of waking up like this, of going through life like this… I then remembered a breathing practice I used to do each morning before getting out of bed and started breathing into the Lower Dantien, (or Hara). As I did, my angst settled, and the internal Life energy started to move. Beingness “woke up” inside. Something inside was aware of every sound, feeling, sensation and thought, *without* immediately contracting around it in some kind of reactive response of judgment, or dislike. Even thoughts about family were just noticed to be thoughts. Awareness of this inner awake, aware Presence became my “goal” for the day. Part way through the day I lost “consciousness” :) (lost the felt sense of awareness of this ever-present field of Awareness) but - the awareness of un-awareness was just noticed too. I was just being/doing what was called for in each moment and being okay with whatever arose. It was a totally different orientation than the last several months – and totally welcome – finally…. Something so simple as awareness can seem so difficult when one is entrapped in the chaotic mind.

I also realized that this was probably one of the “gifts” of the Owl that had shown up for 3 days last month – the reminder to be still and aware – just being aware of the presence of Life flowing within, the presence of Presence, etc…

I recognized that my Inner Being/Spirit thrives through awareness of this field of Awareness that we all are: The awareness of our True Nature – the awareness of the Silent, Still, Awake, Aware Presence within - our Divinity, our Aliveness, however you know that to be. I rediscovered again that ‘This’ is where I really thrive – in the Breath and Pulse of Awareness.

~ ~ ~ ~

There are so many ways to wake up to and thrive in our Beingness. I so appreciate all of my blogger friends who shared how their Inner Being/Spirit thrives in the previous post. It helped bring me back to awareness of that Beingness, and how we nurture That. Here are highlights of the “thrivers” that I put together from everyone’s comments:

Time in places of Natural Beauty and quiet…
~
Listening to Dharma talks
(satsang/spiritual teachers)
~
Time to contemplate, be still and listen…
~
Connection with, and supporting others…
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Love
~
Kindness and Compassion
~
Being authentic
~
Being in touch with ones wild nature
~
Paying attention to the senses
~
Lots of free time
~
Meditation
~
Exercise and Music
~
Cappuccinno - really? ;)
~
Creating/Creativity
~
Following the Breath
~
Awareness of Beingness
~


May we all sense our Inner Being thriving!

~ ~ ~

Photo: Last night’s Full Moon
as seen through a dirty skylight window
creating a “moon shadow.”

Nice effect – eh? :)

Tell me who "I" am...

“In the secret recesses of the heart
beyond the teachings of this world
calls a still, small voice
singing a song unchanged
from the foundation of the world.

Speak to me in sunsets and in starlight.
Speak to me in the eyes of a child.
You Who call to me from a smile.
My cosmic beloved…

Tell me who I am
And who I always will be.
Help me to remember.”

Joan Borysenko


~


Self is what you are

Fathomless

Self is the Heart

It shines to ItSelf by ItSelf
in ItSelf…

Self is what gives breath to life…

Only Self is…

Self is the indwelling of all beings

It is always here

And you are always That

It is your Heart

…all comes back to the Heart…

Papaji

Excerpts from:
The Truth Is


~*~

Wide Awake Fluidity

Over the last 10 years I have experienced many “awakenings” or “openings,” glimpses beyond the veil. For the last couple of months I’ve been experiencing a “call”, if you will, to “deepen”, although I have not understood what this means – deepen into what? Then last Saturday I experienced what Meg Hitchcock calls a “reality peel” – where you see beyond this reality into Reality. (See her posts: Brick Wall, William James & the Reality Peel, Further Musings on Enlightenment). And yet, it’s hard to put into words. So I’ve been waiting for the words to arise. At the very least it will make for an interesting blog post. :)

Internally I have been feeling as if I am in suspended animation, despite all the outward chaos going on in my life. In this suspended “state” it has felt as if I have been “waiting” for something, although that’s not quite the right word either. It’s a feeling of dynamic, restful suspension, as if I am waiting, but not like a person waiting for a bus to arrive, just an inward sense of waiting in Stillness, with no expectation, no anticipation, no *needing* for anything to happen, just feeling this pull into something deeper internally, while the surface chaos around me continues.

This past weekend there was an understanding that this “call” is a call to “return”, if you will, although it’s not really a “return” in the sense of two separate entities, one returning to the other, but more like something falling back in on itself, coming back around to itself, like coming full circle, being seen by itself. I remembered a phrase I’ve heard several times: “Enlightenment is really just the Self calling the Self back to Self” (or Itself). I resonate deeply with this. “We” are being called back to That which we inherently are! The Self becoming aware of Itself. Awareness aware of Awareness. It feels like the movement of the Self, waking up to Itself – the wave “returning” to the Ocean, and realizing that it *is* the Ocean. It’s a movement that just happens. It cannot be summoned, or created. It’s like all that is being lived outwardly is being called back to Itself – the in-breath after the pause after the out-breath. And in this there is deep rest. In this suspended “state” all the issues that my mind wraps around don’t really matter anymore: Mother issues, basement issues, Duality/Non-Duality, Enlightenment. They all become transparent, fluidly rising and falling within this spacious awake awareness. I have felt this before and yet the conceptual scaffolding always comes back into play – as it did this time.

For the past couple of weeks when I *look* at things they don’t seem like what they are. A window doesn’t *seem* like a window – although it is. It’s just an opening in a wall that is called “window.” As I sat in the living room Saturday I looked over at the couch, and that’s when the “reality peel” happened. I didn’t seek it, wasn’t meditating on it, was just sitting there and everything looked a little “different.” I realized that the couch *appears* as a couch, but it’s not really – a couch. The couch didn’t actually morph into something else, but there was a *sense* that it exists within a larger context of Existence; that there is a greater energy existing there/here. There was the sense that the things that we *see* are really a reality within Reality – within this Greater Context – not separate from It, but as *appearances of* It - appearances in/of the field of Awareness that *contains* everything that It is. It’s as if this field of Awareness, this Mystery, sees Itself *through* the seeing of this, through the awareness of this…

Every *thing* (including us) is really fluidly suspended in this Greater Context. From this perspective “things” are no longer seen as just objects, or just things – but appearances of Reality. Everything is surreal. Nothing is what it seems. It’s as if a sensory shift has taken place. It is a recognition of the fluidity of Being. It’s right here, behind what we *believe* in our minds to be real. Thought, feeling, emotion, objects, people all exist in a fluid dynamic of Oneness. And, it’s as if this Self/Being/Oneness *wants* to reveal Itself, wants to be *seen*, wants to be known – intimately – through the scaffolding.

Sweet Serenity ~~~~~

"What has been calling you throughout time.....is the flame of Consciousness

that is the essence of your being. When you meet yourSelf...

you are fulfilled, you are home.... to be home is simply to be here....

....discover directly for yourself this jewel that is alive within you."

Gangaji

The Diamond in Your Pocket

Funky Art :) - Christine