A Single Leaf Falls...

Leaning back on the soft, stuffed chair back cushion
I sink into myself, and rest there...

I hold my hands over my chest, as if holding 
a tiny infant against my heart.

I realize I am actually holding my self, my own
heart in my hands - cradling and nurturing
my "little heart". as of it were a child;
reassuring it that it's alright;

loving it...

All these burdens that it's been carrying for so 
long, lurking in the dark shadows, in need
of embrace and release.

A deep cry would be good - but the tears don't come.

I breathe deeply into the painful wounds of the heart -

feeling empathy and compassion for the "burden carrier",
as she has carried the angry, shadowy baggage of a 
painful family dynamic far too long.

I'm looking for IN-spiration that I can't seem to find.
Within I only find sadness and tears wanting to emerge,
to be felt - but are held back, as if dammed by a
learned facade -

waiting to explode - and be set free.
Like a river frozen in deep archaic woods,
embedded there for centuries; locked in time,
encoded in the body and mind - needing to flow
through and be released, not left hidden behind a
silent spirituality,
always "up", always "strong", holding it "together."

The facade starts to crumble, being replaced by authenticity,
and a different strength - a "speaker of truth" - her own truth,
that must be spoken,

not drowned in other people's words and ways...

A single leaf falls from a tree outside the window,
a poignant moment in her reflection.
Soon the tree will be bare, naked - and exposed...

Vulnerable without her covering...

Mystic Meandering
Sept. 15, 2023

~

With thanks to Sarah Carlson and her own healing process
for the inspiration for this poem...

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering