The Decline of My So-called life - a meandering...

The other day I got up as usual and did the usual morning routine
with my sister - I'm her caregiver...

I went upstairs to post a blog post - and needed to prepare
several photos for posting.

I sat in front of the computer, just staring at the screen,
not knowing what to do...

I had totally forgotten how to prepare a photo -
what the steps were.

I sat several minutes, blank, until I started to *try* to
 figure it out again...

I couldn't make my mind work!

I tried different things on the computer
until I began to recognize the steps...

It was a shock to me that my mind could do this! -
could go totally blank on something I've done
for 15 years!

I'll be honest, no amount of "spiritual practice" can

prepare you for the sudden, startling awareness of
your mind's (and body's ) decline -
"spirituality" will not save you
from the natural order of life and death...

It starts off slowly - forgetting this or that,
a memory here, a word or name there;
where you put this or that thing, finding it
eventually, but not in its usual place...

Nothing can prepare you for the frustration of
your decline...

When your legs don't want to work-
and you stumble and bumble across the floor;
Thoughts of wheelchair enter your mind -
or having to move to a one level home -
even worse - assisted living...

My once "got it all together", 
"I'm on top of things" life
is falling apart,
a little at a time -
has been for several years.

Then suddenly there's a cliff - and
Humpty Dumpty starts falling off the wall.
What's worse is I'm aware of it - and know

that: all the king's horses and all the king's men
will not be able to put "me" together again...

And so I breathe,
and try to remember 
that there is a Deeper Reality
beyond my experience,
and try to rest there...

But I wonder if I will forget that too...

Mystic Meandering
Dec. 8, 2024

At least I can still write -
writing is my "therapy"
when falling apart :)
although the poetry
doesn't emerge 
like it used to...

 

A Single Leaf Falls...

Leaning back on the soft, stuffed chair back cushion
I sink into myself, and rest there...

I hold my hands over my chest, as if holding 
a tiny infant against my heart.

I realize I am actually holding my self, my own
heart in my hands - cradling and nurturing
my "little heart". as of it were a child;
reassuring it that it's alright;

loving it...

All these burdens that it's been carrying for so 
long, lurking in the dark shadows, in need
of embrace and release.

A deep cry would be good - but the tears don't come.

I breathe deeply into the painful wounds of the heart -

feeling empathy and compassion for the "burden carrier",
as she has carried the angry, shadowy baggage of a 
painful family dynamic far too long.

I'm looking for IN-spiration that I can't seem to find.
Within I only find sadness and tears wanting to emerge,
to be felt - but are held back, as if dammed by a
learned facade -

waiting to explode - and be set free.
Like a river frozen in deep archaic woods,
embedded there for centuries; locked in time,
encoded in the body and mind - needing to flow
through and be released, not left hidden behind a
silent spirituality,
always "up", always "strong", holding it "together."

The facade starts to crumble, being replaced by authenticity,
and a different strength - a "speaker of truth" - her own truth,
that must be spoken,

not drowned in other people's words and ways...

A single leaf falls from a tree outside the window,
a poignant moment in her reflection.
Soon the tree will be bare, naked - and exposed...

Vulnerable without her covering...

Mystic Meandering
Sept. 15, 2023

~

With thanks to Sarah Carlson and her own healing process
for the inspiration for this poem...

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Trust...

Religion is a vehicle;
Spirituality is a vehicle;
Metaphysics is a vehicle;
A Guru/Teacher is a vehicle;
Quantum Physics is a vehicle;
Creativity and Art is a vehicle;
Yoga and Meditation is a vehicle;
and maybe Psychology is a vehicle;
tending to our traumas and wounds;
Maybe telling our stories of challenge
and difficulty is also a vehicle for us to
discover what is true for ourselves...

We don't have to follow a prescribed path,
or one teacher, or one way, or one story, but
use all "ways" to access the truth of existence;
the truth of your Being...

Life itself is the vehicle...

Trust your own way...
Trust your own experience...

Sometimes that means we have to go to the
darker places within for the truth to be revealed...

Mystic Meandering
Jan. 21, 2023

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

The Scandal - Eric Baret

The scandal is to make people believe that through some
exercises they will be better and their deep questioning will
be satisfied.  It is to make people believe that by following
this therapy, by adopting that concept, by wearing a particular
color of clothes, by hanging on their wall or to their neck a
picture of a popular guru, it will bring about a profound
questioning.  That is charlatanry.

Real life is facing the moment.  The different possibilities
of conflict express themselves in the world: you face them,
you look at what is touched in you, you look at what is
death, destruction.  In this way, you realize what you are.
When your house is destroyed, when your body is broken,
when your family is wiped out, you realize to what extent
you are free or not from yourself.  But to sit in a room to
do yoga, to chew hundred times a mouthful of brown rice...
of course, you feel good, but there is no questioning. 

...it is the cataclysms that deeply question the human being,
they make him ask the real questions.  Everything else
makes him sleep.  So, it should be very clear that the state
of the world is its chance.  Unfortunately, there are times
when a cataclysm is the only way to bring about a
questioning.  All this romanticism of yoga, of the East,
of spirituality, all these spiritual techniques of progression,
of purification, they really are a waste of money and energy.
One day they will completely disappear, and maybe that day
we won't need cataclysms to wake up.

Eric Baret

Excerpt from an article in science and nonduality

with thanks to No Mind's Land

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

What's Real? - a meandering...

Tired of the weariness of existence 
and the "games" that people play...

Lost all longing for, or any sense of devotion to 
any "spiritual" entity. All "spiritualities" seem to be just
explanations and theories about existence; all the many
theologies, dogmas, doctrines, disciplines, traditions,
religions & practices; Karma, reincarnation, and
anything else humans have come up with to try to "explain"
how it all is - "The Truth of Existence..."

Are we just another species replicating itself...
Are we a dream...
Or - Are we Source morphing ItSelf into human form...

Is it really true that our True Nature is
 kindness & compassion & love...
There seems to be an inherent ignorance of that Nature...

What makes humans believe that a "God" - any one
"God" - is "right", or "in control..." It's all the same
 "God-energy" anyway - in essence - prior to manifestations

 of a personal "God" that we choose to name...

Is it true that there is only Pure Consciousness
manifesting ItSelf in all expressions so that "IT"
can experience humanity and all the experiences 
here in this realm -
over and over and over again...

My meanderings lead me to ask: Why - why after
billions of experiences in billions of manifestations
would "IT" (Consciousness) want more of the same
experience...Why does "IT want to keep manifesting
ItSelf just to experience limited human life in its
vulnerability...  Hasn't "IT" learned enough already...

It is a belief to help explain this existence, but you have
to believe it is true...

And am tired of all beliefs and theories and explanations
that leave me empty, disconnected - spiritually disoriented...

What is there that actually reveals the "Truth of Existence..."
"Direct Experience" you say...

But we all have different experiences of that too...

And who came up with all these concepts, theories and
conjectures, that we are supposed to just believe in...
Some ancient "sage" meditating in a cave?

I do miss not having an "explanation story" to believe in,
or a "God" to believe in, but - still want to know what
the Truth really is...

Is there something in us called Essence, Pure Being, Pure
Consciousness?  And if so, why don't we know this
Beingness, this Essence that we are...

Some say we have supposedly "forgotten" - concealing
the "Truth" of who we are from ourselves...
Why would we do that...

Why do we spend a lifetime seeking for what we already are...
Like looking for your cat, thinking it might me under the chair,
when all along it's been sitting in your chair watching you
search for "it"...

You have to be invested in what you believe in;
that it's true.  Even if it isn't...

And we all believe something different...

Having hope for a "better" reality, or a "better" you -
"enlightenment"- is the universal manipulation...

On the other hand, I don't believe that there is only
this reality - "just this..."
What of mystical experiences...

And believing in God/Guru only gives us a feeling of
worthiness, rightness - or unworthiness and "wrongness";
of being loved, special - or even condemned...

It's still all about "you" -
not what's Real...

So - what is "Real..."

The proverbial existential question...

Mystic Meandering
Meditative Meanderings
June 27, 2021

P.S. - All that is required to "know" the "Truth"
is to enter the deep "inner space" and discover
the Heart of our own Being for ourselves...

Or is that just a belief too :)

~

Photo from the Internet
"Time Tunnel"

 

Precipice - Fred LaMotte

The bold become themselves.  There is a point in meditation,
if it is true meditation, when you fall off the precipice of practice
into groundlessness...  You can no longer resist the subtle sorrow
in your flesh, that which the Buddha called Dukkha...

You've been carrying it for years, for centuries, the stuff made of
stories about a suffering 'me.'  It is buried deep in the rind of your
body, but neatly packaged in the sterile cellophane called 'spirituality.'

Now the time has come to let the wrapping go.  Be vulnerable to
yourself.  Allow your every distant ache, the brittle anguish of a
 trillion nerves, the  secrets of grief, the worms of rage, the clogging
 undigested waste of blame, this whole discomfort you are, to erupt
 in one magnificent purple blossom of pain, fragrant with the gift
 of tears. Let it flower from the subtle into the gross, gushing
 without name, and without distinction between good and bad,
beautiful or ugly.

It is just Dark Energy, percolating wordlessly out of your molecules,
yet pulsing with photons of fire and swirling suns.  It is holy
destruction and healing, cosmic in scale yet intimate with every
cell of your body.  It is the chaos of possibility.  It is the cleansing
smile of...No Secret Me Any More...
It is pure love, the stuff of your bones.

Be bold.  Let your edges dissolve.  There is no one else in all
the universe for you to become.

Fred LaMotte

Uradiance

Wild Medicine - Summer Solstice - Brigit McNeill

I see your hurts, your fears and your sorrow.

I see them like crumpled black lumps,
and brittle edged bits that feel heavy
and uncomfortable in your flesh.
But I also see your immense bravery,
your wisdom and your courage.
It grows from you like tendrils of
medicine plants; wild and wise.
It's bigger than you realize.

You are so very courageous and you
can do big things, hard things,
beautiful things and
monumental things.

I wish you could see what shines from you.
I wish you could wrap those wild vines
of courage around you.
The ones of wisdom and truth,
of power and bravery.
Wearing them like a cloak, a dress or a
second skin; absorbing and feeling the
wild medicine it brings you, for you have
grown it from within, they are seeds of your
knowing and they can't be taken from you.

You have made it through everything
and now it's time to see yourself as the
warrior and tender lover of your own being.
The one who grows medicine weeds and
sweet flowers from the concrete cracks of
their life.

Brigit Anna McNeill

Art - Tomasz Alen Kopera

via No Mind's Land

Wishing everyone a renewed sense of strength and courage
on this Solstice...

I celebrate 10 years of posting on this blog today!
It's been a wonderful experience.
Thank you all for reading!

~

When you take off your clothes remember
to be thankful for your body underneath,
whatever shape it is.  It's your most tender
lover.  It's doing its best to swim upstream
against the current of all this entropy.
One day it will give up, exhausted,
and slip from you like those clothes,
and again you'll be thankful
for what's underneath.

Elias Amidon

Beyond "Spirituality" - MM & A.H. Almaas

Beyond the "cloak of spirituality" that we wear,
in its many guises, is the unconditioned Nature
of our own Being - the "Genuine Self",
the "Authentic Self", the "Precious Pearl"
at the depths of Beingness;
not the super-imposed conditioning of belief systems,
but the pure state of Being from deep within the
Quietness of Consciousness
that has no "belief", no conditioned *idea* of
"spirituality" - just pure Being,
living as we are...

Mystic Meandering
May 27, 2019

~

The non-dual realization is only a step toward
greater mysteries and forms of freedom
leading to the deepening realization
of the fullness of being human,
expressing the totality of the
cosmos in all its physical and
spiritual dimensions -
living the simplicity
of
ordinary life.

A.H. Almaas

~

Photo - Pikes Peak
taken from Greenland, CO

Your Original Depth - Eckhart Tolle

Partly as a result of the spiritual teachings that have arisen outside
the established religions, but also due to an influx of the ancient
Eastern wisdom teachings, a growing number of followers of
traditional religions are able to let go of identification with form,
dogma, and rigid belief systems and discover the original depth
that is hidden within themselves.  They realize that how 'spiritual'
you are has nothing to do with what you believe but everything to
do with your state of consciousness.  This, in turn, determines how
you act in the world and interact with others.

Many people are already aware of the difference between spirituality
and religion.  They realize that having a belief system - a set of
thoughts that you regard as absolute truth - does not make you
spiritual no matter what the nature of those beliefs is.  In fact,
the more you make your thoughts [beliefs] into your identity,
the more cut off you are from the spiritual dimension within yourself. 
Many 'religious' people are stuck at that level.  They equate truth
with  thought, and as they are completely identified with thought
 [their mind], they claim to be in sole possession of the truth in an
unconscious attempt to protect their identity.

What is arising now is not a new belief system, a new religion,
spiritual ideology, or mythology.  We are coming to an end,
not only of mythologies but also ideologies and belief systems.
The change goes deeper than the content of your mind,
deeper than your thoughts... to your Original Depth...

Eckhart Tolle
From - A New Earth
2005

~

Photo - from the internet

Who Are You Without Your Spiritual Story? - Jeff Foster

Please don't talk to me of "Pure Awareness" or
"Dwelling in the Absolute."  I want to see how you treat
your partner, your kids, your parents, your body.
Please don't lecture me about "the illusion of the separate
self" or how you achieved permanent bliss in just 7 days.
I want to feel a genuine warmth radiating from your heart.
I want to hear how well you listen, take information that
doesn't fit your personal philosophy [belief].  I want to see
how you deal with people who disagree with you.  Don't tell
me how awakened you are, how free you are from ego.  I want
to know you beneath the words.  I want to know what you're like
when troubles befall you. If you can fully allow your pain and
not pretend to be invulnerable.  If you can feel your anger yet not
step into violence.  If you can grant safe passage to your sorrow
yet not be its slave.  If you can feel your shame and not shame others.
If you can f**k up, and admit it. If you can say "sorry", and really
mean it.  If you can be fully human in your glorious divinity.
Don't talk to me about your spirituality, friend.  I only want to meet
you.  Know your precious heart.  Know your beautiful human
struggling for the light.  Before all clever words...

Jeff Foster

I will not hear my mother's voice again...

I will not hear my mother's voice again - or see the recognition
in her eyes when she was surprised to see me at her bedside;
or see her lift her head up from the pillow, her index finger
pointed into the air, as I was on my way out her bedroom door,
saying "I love you" - as if to remind me for the last time.
And my reply: "I love you too!" - pausing to look back...

I will not "know" my mother anymore - in form - although her
Spirit Essence lives on somewhere now; a comforting feeling,
no matter what one's beliefs are about what happens after death.

That's the thing I learned through my mother's 3 month "death
experience" - only Love remains - not your spiritual beliefs, or
ideologies, or philosophies about life; your pain or childhood
wounds.  Only Love...  All the left-over parent/child issues
dissolved as I watched her lay vulnerable and weak, speaking in
whispers as her body declined; eventually unable to speak, or
eat, or drink...  Only compassion and sorrow arose as her body
struggled to let go of, or hang on to, life - and she became fearful.
It was not an easy death the last few days.  It became more like
hard labor, giving birth to something unseen...

In the weeks before her passing, as she deteriorated, she saw
things in the invisible world: elves outside her window in the
trees, and people from the spirit world she did not know standing
near her bed.  And what she called a "beautiful woman" whom
she said had come to "help her on her journey."  I surely hope so...

There were no "religious" or "spiritual" overtones to any of it.
No talk of "God", which surprised me from what I knew of my
mother; a sometimes very pious Christian.  There was only this
idea of a playful fantasy of going on a "journey" with "spirit
people" to help her.  Maybe life isn't as serious as we think,
maybe life is a playful journey.

Mom, you are safe now.
May you feel the Love on the other side of the veil...
For there is only Love and Grace at the end of the "journey."

I love you again and again - we all do...

~

Mom breathed her last breath this morning
March 21, 2019
at 10:21 am

6 days before her 91st birthday

~

Written March 10, 2019

A Collective "Spirituality" - Matt Licata

At some point we will be invited to revision the concepts
which have guided us along the way.....dissolving what has
come before, and starting over, as if it were the first day.  To
illuminate the lenses through which we are seeing self, others,
and world...

[Spirituality] is not a state where we become liberated from
feeling, but freer to experience it more fully..... Not transcending
 our vulnerability, fleeing into a state of power and untouchability,
safely hidden away in some protected spiritual cocoon.

We will never be fully alive by embracing only those feelings and
those dreams that our families, societies, and teacher claim are
worthy and valid.  But only through the courage and mercy
required to touch it all.

To partake of the entirety of the spectrum of this human experience,
with as much curiosity, soul, and kindness that we can discover.
To give ourselves permission to care, to take a risk in allowing
another to matter, and tend to the heart it inevitably breaks in
response to suffering, disappointment and despair.

To see for ourselves to what degree the unconscious quest for
power, mastery, certainty,and invulnerability may be an
expression of fear, not love.

To realize how little we know in the face of the mystery [of life].

~

A collective spirituality is not going to be subtle, nuanced, or
creative enough to meet the longing within.  The way to direct
revelation and embodied experiential discovery is not the easy way.
It's not the path of five-steps to empowerment, manifestation, or
thinking our way into permanent happiness, abundance and bliss.
It is a humble journey, heart wrenching at times, as we compassionately
[embrace] the disowned parts of ourselves that surge for re-union.

It is unlikely we'll fully understand or resolve the mystery of self and
other, of separation and union...  But we can break open into the
questions as beginners, as amateurs, and as servants of the mystery.

Matt Licata

Inquire Into Truth - Adyashanti

By inquiring into truth, we are led ever deeper into the
unknown, beyond beliefs and ideas, to the very core of
who and what we are...  This inquiry challenges us by
taking us out of our heads and into the heart of our deepest
experience of being, which is beyond limitations of body,
mind and conditioning.  Telling the truth is the secret of
all true spirituality, and in order to tell the truth you must
find out what truth is.

We are in need of a practical mysticism that reveals not only
the deepest core of being, but also addresses how to relate
from that core in the event called "life."  We do not need
another set of how-to instructions, which are so popular
within our modern consumer culture of quick fixes.  What
we need is an ever-deepening inquiry into how spirit
dances *as* this very life, for what we call life is but an
expression of spirit and therefore fully spirit itself...
manifesting as *all* of life and beyond.

Adyashanti

"Spirituality" is a Concept - Eric Baret

Spirituality is a concept.  What people project on so-called
spirituality, they used to project on their Boy Scout team when
they were six, on their football team when they were ten, on
politics at twenty and on marriage at thirty...  The void that we try
to fill with a doll, an electric train, a good grade at school, a
career, a child, we then try to project onto spirituality...

True spirituality is gratitude.

True spirituality is a stillness that makes one available for
 every moment.

Wanting to set ourselves free from all our problems to become
"spiritual", to become "awakened", all comes from fear.

There comes a time when you don't feel the need to look for
yourself in the different currents of life.  Then there isn't any
 word, any direction, any knowledge, any school, any lineage,
 any teaching, and, above all, any spiritual person.

What remains is non-separateness.

[You] understand that there is nothing to understand, nothing to
 acquire. [You] don't need to invent tools to face life, to create ways
 to defend or affirm yourself to deal with situations. 
[You] look honestly at what is, what triggers fear, anxiety,
pretense, defense in yourself.  [You] clearly accept
your pretense, your limits.  These limits will reflect the Limitless.

Your clarity shines light on all that...
You are shining light into spirituality, not the other way around.

...when [you] project a superior/inferior [projection on life] - spiritual
 things that ought to set [you] free from ordinary life - then [you]
are in [your] imagination.

Let's function in day to day life: eat, sleep, love, see, feel, look.
Let all the emotions live inside us. Nothing to defend, to affirm,
to know. We do not need anything to get a feeling for the
 Primordial.
No need to change anything in ourselves.

Eric Baret

Teacher of the Tantric Tradition

Excerpt from an excerpt from his new book:
De L'abandon.
Full excerpt posted on Stillness Speaks

via: No Mind's Land

[brackets] mine

~

Photo - Shadow of a stained glass angel
on the ceiling...

I'm still here... :)

There have been several people who thought that my last post,
"Good-bye Yellow Brick Road" was about, among other things,
saying goodbye to this blog...

There are no plans to quit the blog...
or take it down...

Just opening another chapter...

It may take on a different flavor,
challenging my own fantasies about "spirituality."

I still have things I want to post which reflect where I am
in my "evolution of awareness", which may be of interest.
I will still post what inspires me and hopefully you as well...
I may re-post some of my earlier writings if it reflects where
I am now.

I humbly thank you for reading here,
and thank the handful of those who have encouraged me
to keep posting, both in private and in public.  I am glad that
you find what is posted here inspiring and thought provoking...

Namaste

_/\_

As a friend recently wrote to me:

"The mind continues to Wonder.
but without struggle or need."

And another wonderful quote from a blogger friend - by Rumi

"I have been a seeker, and I still am.
But I stopped asking the books and the stars,
I started listening to the teachings of my soul."

goosebumps!

Good-bye Yellow Brick Road...

It's ending... and as TS Eliot said: "in my end is my beginning."

It's ending, the meandering - not because I have reached a "goal"
or the "end" of wondering what is True, or achieved "fulfillment"
of Being - quite the contrary...

What has been needs to end -
the disillusionment,
of years on the "spiritual treadmill" -
caught in the futility of trying to understand, to get somewhere,
to be other than "me", a "better" me, or no-me at all...
Going in circles,
rewinding myself through the same conundrums
over and over again,
trying to believe what others say is True...

Acceptance has set in...

Acceptance of myself as "I" am - the whole of "me"
without the need for a "spiritual identity" - another facade;
just "me" - living, breathing, being -

without the comforting certainties of "knowing" the answer
to the questions.

Feels freeing - actually,
letting go of old identities,
old masks, old myths about
how it's all sposed to be;
whether "this" is just a dream of duality,
or - if there's really a non-dual existence of the Divine
and "me"...

But can't do that mind trip anymore...
I can only see what I can see
and let the rest go...

The pursuit has ended...

No more trying to "become"
"enlightened", "illumined", "liberated"

to appease the mind's fantasies
about "spirituality."

No more rose colored glasses,
no more "Lucy in the sky with diamonds",
no more Yellow Brick Road,
with the "Wizards" of an illusionary Oz pulling the strings...

Subtly, I fell into the same mind traps

over and over again -
wanting, longing, searching,
waiting
for that elusive final epiphany -
the dissolving of the "me" in Ecstasy...

But there was nothing;
no rainbow,
or pot of gold;
no "radiance of Being" shining...

Just "me" - still "me"...

So -
Good-bye Yellow Brick Road...
I'm laying down the burden of "spirituality"...
and simply allowing myself to Be...

Now...

at last

I am...

finally free...

Mystic Meandering
April 16, 2018

Namaste
_/\_

~*~

"If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again,
I won't look any further than  my own back yard,
because if it isn't there, I never really lost it
to begin with." :)

Dorothy
From the Wizard of Oz

What is Seeking? - Eric Baret

Seeking is an expression of truth, it's not a Way.
All the yoga practices are an expression of truth.
Yoga does not bring [us] to truth but truth expresses itself
through yoga.  Sadhana [spiritual practice] is an expression.
It is because you fore-feel Silence that your life becomes sadhana.
But to do sadhana, to reach Silence is the wrong way of thinking.
The very fact that you look for something is a proof you already feel it.
The very fact that you asked the question proves you know the answer
The answer is before the question.  You only ask a question because
you fore-feel the answer, or else you cannot ask the question.
So when you look for God, this looking comes from God directly.
It's [seeking] just an expression.  But the looking does not bring you to
 what you look for.  What you look for is behind you...
...you are not the finder of anything - the truth is in back of us,
not in front of us.  That's why it can never be reached, it can never
be understood...

Only listen towards Life itself...  Open yourself to what is really here...
Life is experienced in the body, viscerally, palpably, as vibration,
as energy...  The mind only functions with words...  But the thoughts
that come from the deep Silence, with words that come out from the
Depths, are also expressions of Life...
They come from the Silence to bring you back to Silence...

Open to experiencing without words...

Listen with your whole being...


Excerpted from a published interview with Eric Baret 2014
Eric Baret is a teacher of the Tantric Tradition

via: No Mind's Land

~

And so I dove Within,
Back... behind... before, ever deeper,
seeking the experience of Pure Being,
Before I knew anything of "myself."

Chuck Surface

Excerpt from: "Impossibly"

In The Garden of The Beloved

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The Golden Chain of "Spirituality" - Chogyam Trungpa

As long as we follow a spiritual approach promising salvation,
miracles, liberation, then we are bound by the
'golden chain of spirituality.'  Such a chain might be
beautiful to wear, with its inlaid jewels and intricate carvings,
but nevertheless, it imprisons us.

As long as one's approach to spirituality is based upon
enriching the ego, then it is spiritual materialism...

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

Buddhist Meditation Master

Personal Note: Chogyam was evidently a controversial figure, as one can see with this provocative piece, which may seem a little harsh to some...  My personal experience is that "spirituality", in its many forms, can actually constrain and contain the natural expression of our True Beingness, because with any *form* of "spirituality", or religion, there is a certain conformity to that ideology/belief.  The expression of our Pure Beingness then, often becomes stifled by that ideology/belief, which then becomes an obstruction, or constriction, to the freedom of the Pure Being that is within; that wants to express ItSelf through this mechanism we call "me", because we try to fit into a conceptual mold of a particular form of "spirituality" that we have identified with.  The point, IMHO, is to remain open to how Pure Beingness, (aka The Mystery, Life) beyond belief, beyond form, wants to come alive in us and express ItSelf in, through and as us, which may not be what we *think*... :)  _/\_

True Center - Ivan Granger

Sages of all lands keep reminding us that the spiritual journey
is a journey of awareness, and specifically Self-awareness.
It is not a journey of acquisition.
Or intellect.
Or adherence to rules.

It is not a matter of how many books we're read.
Or how many times we've read them.
The only question of any value is whether we've yet
recognized their truths... within ourselves.

It is not a matter of how often we pray.
Or how perfectly we enunciate each prescribed word.
The question is, have we discovered how true prayer
wells up within us of its own accord.

We may not approach the spiritual path as a matter of
superficial actions or brittle creeds,
but we also can become swept up in endless new ideas,
new flashes of insight, new pathways, new teachers.
This can lead to a culture of lifelong seeking that becomes
our comfort zone;
a culture that takes on the form of religion (or spirituality)
without actually discovering the true center...
What we seek is found only and always
in the Heart of the heart...

Ivan Granger
Poetry Chaikhana

(Ivan's words, my format)

~

Photo - Mandala Art digitally altered

There Is Always An Open Doorway - Licata

Perhaps Life has no interest in us living up to some image.
It doesn't need or want us to be "perfect", or "divine",
 or "awakened", or "healed."  Or manifesting all the things
 we think we want...
It is only ever offering its invitation to fall heart-first
into an immense field of not-knowing - not knowing how to live,
not knowing how to accept, not knowing how to "get awakened",
not knowing how to "heal," and not knowing how to resolve
the ways of love...
And in this not-knowing,
life is there waiting for us,
 revealing its mysteries...

You are so exhausted, so tired of chasing around some fantasy
of a "spiritual" life that you were told was the right one
by some teacher, author, or expert who has figured it out
and come to some fundamental resolution to love
and its untamed creative wildness.

You are longing for rest.
To rest in your True Being.

In the very center of your heart,
there is always an open doorway.

It has nothing to do with wiggling into some conditioned
state of consciousness, other than the pure one that is here,
or with seeking some mythical sustained transcendent experience,
or with any sort of movement beyond the messy world of intimacy,
confusing unresolvable love, and human vulnerability.
It wants so badly for you to walk through, to meet for the first time,
this unbearable longing to go home,
to behold for the first time the
miracle of this precious human body,
of *these* thoughts,
of *these* feelings,
of *these* passing states of consciousness,
exactly as they have been given by an unseen grace.

For in just one moment of caring enough -
of somehow resisting the call to exit this experience for another -
what you see is that it is all made of love,
crafted out of the substance of love,
all the way through,
from inside-out and outside-in.
And no matter what the details,
love has somehow configured itself
as your unique life,
and has offered itself as a gift...
waiting for you to enter inside and hold it,
exactly as it is...

Matt Licata

(Matt's words, my format)