It's ending... and as TS Eliot said: "in my end is my beginning."
It's ending, the meandering - not because I have reached a "goal"
or the "end" of wondering what is True, or achieved "fulfillment"
of Being - quite the contrary...
It's ending, the meandering - not because I have reached a "goal"
or the "end" of wondering what is True, or achieved "fulfillment"
of Being - quite the contrary...
What has been needs to end -
the disillusionment,
of years on the "spiritual treadmill" -
caught in the futility of trying to understand, to get somewhere,
to be other than "me", a "better" me, or no-me at all...
Going in circles,
rewinding myself through the same conundrums
over and over again,
trying to believe what others say is True...
the disillusionment,
of years on the "spiritual treadmill" -
caught in the futility of trying to understand, to get somewhere,
to be other than "me", a "better" me, or no-me at all...
Going in circles,
rewinding myself through the same conundrums
over and over again,
trying to believe what others say is True...
Acceptance has set in...
Acceptance of myself as "I" am - the whole of "me"
without the need for a "spiritual identity" - another facade;
just "me" - living, breathing, being -
without the need for a "spiritual identity" - another facade;
just "me" - living, breathing, being -
without the comforting certainties of "knowing" the answer
to the questions.
to the questions.
Feels freeing - actually,
letting go of old identities,
old masks, old myths about
how it's all sposed to be;
whether "this" is just a dream of duality,
or - if there's really a non-dual existence of the Divine
and "me"...
letting go of old identities,
old masks, old myths about
how it's all sposed to be;
whether "this" is just a dream of duality,
or - if there's really a non-dual existence of the Divine
and "me"...
But can't do that mind trip anymore...
I can only see what I can see
and let the rest go...
I can only see what I can see
and let the rest go...
The pursuit has ended...
No more trying to "become"
"enlightened", "illumined", "liberated"
"enlightened", "illumined", "liberated"
to appease the mind's fantasies
about "spirituality."
about "spirituality."
No more rose colored glasses,
no more "Lucy in the sky with diamonds",
no more Yellow Brick Road,
with the "Wizards" of an illusionary Oz pulling the strings...
Subtly, I fell into the same mind traps
no more "Lucy in the sky with diamonds",
no more Yellow Brick Road,
with the "Wizards" of an illusionary Oz pulling the strings...
Subtly, I fell into the same mind traps
over and over again -
wanting, longing, searching,
waiting
for that elusive final epiphany -
the dissolving of the "me" in Ecstasy...
wanting, longing, searching,
waiting
for that elusive final epiphany -
the dissolving of the "me" in Ecstasy...
But there was nothing;
no rainbow,
or pot of gold;
no "radiance of Being" shining...
Just "me" - still "me"...
no rainbow,
or pot of gold;
no "radiance of Being" shining...
Just "me" - still "me"...
So -
Good-bye Yellow Brick Road...
I'm laying down the burden of "spirituality"...
and simply allowing myself to Be...
Good-bye Yellow Brick Road...
I'm laying down the burden of "spirituality"...
and simply allowing myself to Be...
Now...
at last
I am...
at last
I am...
finally free...
Mystic Meandering
April 16, 2018
Namaste
_/\_
April 16, 2018
Namaste
_/\_
~*~
"If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again,
I won't look any further than my own back yard,
because if it isn't there, I never really lost it
to begin with." :)
I won't look any further than my own back yard,
because if it isn't there, I never really lost it
to begin with." :)
Dorothy
From the Wizard of Oz
From the Wizard of Oz
