It's ending... and as TS Eliot said: "in my end is my beginning."
It's ending, the meandering - not because I have reached a "goal"
or the "end" of wondering what is True, or achieved "fulfillment"
of Being - quite the contrary...
It's ending, the meandering - not because I have reached a "goal"
or the "end" of wondering what is True, or achieved "fulfillment"
of Being - quite the contrary...
What has been needs to end -
the disillusionment,
of years on the "spiritual treadmill" -
caught in the futility of trying to understand, to get somewhere,
to be other than "me", a "better" me, or no-me at all...
Going in circles,
rewinding myself through the same conundrums
over and over again,
trying to believe what others say is True...
the disillusionment,
of years on the "spiritual treadmill" -
caught in the futility of trying to understand, to get somewhere,
to be other than "me", a "better" me, or no-me at all...
Going in circles,
rewinding myself through the same conundrums
over and over again,
trying to believe what others say is True...
Acceptance has set in...
Acceptance of myself as "I" am - the whole of "me"
without the need for a "spiritual identity" - another facade;
just "me" - living, breathing, being -
without the need for a "spiritual identity" - another facade;
just "me" - living, breathing, being -
without the comforting certainties of "knowing" the answer
to the questions.
to the questions.
Feels freeing - actually,
letting go of old identities,
old masks, old myths about
how it's all sposed to be;
whether "this" is just a dream of duality,
or - if there's really a non-dual existence of the Divine
and "me"...
letting go of old identities,
old masks, old myths about
how it's all sposed to be;
whether "this" is just a dream of duality,
or - if there's really a non-dual existence of the Divine
and "me"...
But can't do that mind trip anymore...
I can only see what I can see
and let the rest go...
I can only see what I can see
and let the rest go...
The pursuit has ended...
No more trying to "become"
"enlightened", "illumined", "liberated"
"enlightened", "illumined", "liberated"
to appease the mind's fantasies
about "spirituality."
about "spirituality."
No more rose colored glasses,
no more "Lucy in the sky with diamonds",
no more Yellow Brick Road,
with the "Wizards" of an illusionary Oz pulling the strings...
Subtly, I fell into the same mind traps
no more "Lucy in the sky with diamonds",
no more Yellow Brick Road,
with the "Wizards" of an illusionary Oz pulling the strings...
Subtly, I fell into the same mind traps
over and over again -
wanting, longing, searching,
waiting
for that elusive final epiphany -
the dissolving of the "me" in Ecstasy...
wanting, longing, searching,
waiting
for that elusive final epiphany -
the dissolving of the "me" in Ecstasy...
But there was nothing;
no rainbow,
or pot of gold;
no "radiance of Being" shining...
Just "me" - still "me"...
no rainbow,
or pot of gold;
no "radiance of Being" shining...
Just "me" - still "me"...
So -
Good-bye Yellow Brick Road...
I'm laying down the burden of "spirituality"...
and simply allowing myself to Be...
Good-bye Yellow Brick Road...
I'm laying down the burden of "spirituality"...
and simply allowing myself to Be...
Now...
at last
I am...
at last
I am...
finally free...
Mystic Meandering
April 16, 2018
Namaste
_/\_
April 16, 2018
Namaste
_/\_
~*~
"If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again,
I won't look any further than my own back yard,
because if it isn't there, I never really lost it
to begin with." :)
I won't look any further than my own back yard,
because if it isn't there, I never really lost it
to begin with." :)
Dorothy
From the Wizard of Oz
From the Wizard of Oz
Thank you for sharing. And if you continue to post great poetry and thoughts here, I'd still love it. But if you are off this yellow brick road as well, bon voyage!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind words, Barbara...
DeleteNo plans yet to stop posting. Still have a few in the que that are interesting posts, I think. Will just see how it all unfolds after that... :)
Don't give it up. Slow down perhaps. You may have reached your goal, but many others need further inspiration.
ReplyDeleteIf you do decide to stop, keep your website active. That will allow people to read your previous posts.
Thanks Ron - I appreciate your kind and encouraging words. Just to clarify I haven't reached any "goal." It's more of an internal shift of some kind, a "letting go" of the mental and emotional struggle to "find" or reach a "goal." It's a letting go of the disillusionment with the so-called "spiritual path." As a friend said to me: "The mind continues to Wonder, but without the struggle or need."
DeleteA couple of other blogger friends have also privately encouraged me to keep the blog going. There are no plans to stop blogging - yet, as I still have a few interesting posts in mind. Just don't know how it will all unfold, but then again, I never did :) Just staying open to where it will take me.:)
Thanks - Christine
Hi Christine,
ReplyDeleteYou might start re-posting previous entries which current followers may have forgotten or had never previously read.
Consider writing an ebook with a compendium of your posts. If it is free many websites will pick it up and distribute it for you.
I can help you with the latter. You have my email address.
Best wishes, Ron
Thanks Ron! Hadn't even thought about it... I'll let you know :)
Delete