Wandering Without a Trail...

Wandering without a trail,
my focus on finding The Truth
is realized as a self-made illusion.

Not needing to find yet another belief system;
no longer a need for a specific path
cut by others; not the illusion of 
future "enlightenment" through practices,
disciplines, or self-control...

Finding comfort in loosening the
constraints of  the "spiritual cocoon"
that I wrapped myself in for so long;
even the mantel of meditation
has become too heavy and is unraveling -
becoming frayed - like an old prayer shawl.

Reborn from the Chrysalis of my comforting beliefs,
finding freedom in Just BEing ME,
without suffocating concepts of dogma or doctrine,
or a defined "spiritual image"; instead, 
rediscovering myself...

Breaking free from the "spiritual" constructs;
the scaffolding of beliefs and ideas about
"spirituality" that propped "me" up;
caught in spiritual ideals and identities,
unable to fly...

Freed now from the cage of my own making
I can breathe, I can LIVE
intuitively, being moved from within,
listening for what calls to me...
discovering freedom in being open to where life goes,
as I wander without a trail...

Mystic Meandering
Nov. 18, 2019

~

Photo - taken by my father 1952/53

~

"our grasp of truth.....may not last forever.

Hermann Hesse

 

What is your Script? - Adyashanti

 You [have to be willing] to ask "Who am I" or "What am I"

without any script or role, without the story, about who or what
you are, releasing the script of what you think your life is about.
Every sense of identity has its script.

...what am I, and who am I without my story, without my
demands upon the moment, without any hope of this
moment, without my script?

The mind would answer, "I don't know", because the mind
does not know when it is disarmed, it doesn't know who or what
it is without its role or its character to play.

The actor who is acting this all out is named "me."
The actor keeps maintaining itself. It will do whatever it takes
to keep the ball called "me" rolling.

When this disarming happens you are allowing the wordless
experience to present itself.  This is the wordless experience of
being.  You realize it's not a script or role, it carries no agenda,
and has no demand upon the moment.  It's also not  the actor.
What you are is prior to your idea of you.

What you are without your role [identity] is often assumed to
be hidden somewhere.  And so when you let go of your role
[identity], when you look past the character called "me" for the
truth of your being, you may look for the Self, the Truth, the
"enlightened me."  Looking for the "enlightened self" is just
another role, another script.  It's part of the spiritual seekers
script.  If you drop the script - now what are you?

Of course the reason I ask you to inquire into what you are is
because, at this moment, you are living the answer.  Nothing I
would tell you is a substitute for that Aliveness, for that living 
of the answer.  That is why it has been said many times that
only the people who don't know who they are, are "awake."
Everyone else knows who they are - because they are their
script, whatever their script is, [which includes their  "spiritual"
script], or "I'm not awake" script.  Awakeness is to have no
script, to know that ultimately a script is just a script, and a
story just a story.

There is a state of mind in which the mind says, "I have no
idea who I am," because it can't find the right script. 
Awakening is the realization that happens after the mind says,

"I give up.  I just have no idea who I am."  When you start to
understand this, you realize that if you put down your script of
being someone listening, and if you put down your script of
someone saying something, [or being a "spiritual" someone]
and you just drop these roles for a moment, you realize you are
not who you have taken yourself to be; this idea of a "me" that
thinks it's going to get its happiness through changing the script,
its role, its identity - even if its identity is to have no identity
[no-self]....

Adyashanti
From: Emptiness Dancing

~

Play life intuitively
not pre-scripted

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

If You Seek Reality - Nisargadatta & Adyashanti

If you seek Reality you must set yourself free of all
backgrounds, of all cultures, of all patterns of thinking
and feeling.

Even the idea of being a man or a woman, or even human,
should be discarded.  The Ocean of Life contains all,
not only humans.

So first abandon all self-identification, stop thinking of
yourself as such-and-such, so-and-so, this or that.  Abandon
all self-concern, worry not about your welfare, material or
spiritual, abandon every desire, gross or subtle, stop thinking of
achievement of every kind.

You are complete, as you are...

Nisargadatta

~

You have to be willing to ask, "Who am I?" or "What am I?"
without any script or role, without the story about who you
are and what you are, releasing the script of what you think
your life is about.  Every sense of identity has its script - like,
"I'm a spiritual seeker."  We each have a specific role and our
stories about that role.  But our roles and stories are not
what we are...

When you start to realize what the truth is, you wake up from
the story of you.  You recognize that truth is not an abstraction,
it is not something to learn.  You discover that truth is who you
are without a script or role...

There is a state in which mind says, "I have no idea who I am",
because it can't find the right script.  Awakening is the
realization that happens after the mind says,"I give up.  I just
have no idea who I am."  When you start to understand this,
you realize that if you put down your script and just drop the
roles for a moment, you are not what you have taken yourself
to be.

What you are without your role is often assumed to be hidden.
So when you look past your character called "me" for the truth
of your being, you may think there's someone to find who is
somewhere hidden.  Looking for the "enlightened Self" is just
another role, another script.  If you drop the script, what are you?
Enlightenment is to have no script...

Give up the script, the role, the identity -
even if it is to have no identity..

Adyashanti
from - Emptiness Dancing

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

Your Original Depth - Eckhart Tolle

Partly as a result of the spiritual teachings that have arisen outside
the established religions, but also due to an influx of the ancient
Eastern wisdom teachings, a growing number of followers of
traditional religions are able to let go of identification with form,
dogma, and rigid belief systems and discover the original depth
that is hidden within themselves.  They realize that how 'spiritual'
you are has nothing to do with what you believe but everything to
do with your state of consciousness.  This, in turn, determines how
you act in the world and interact with others.

Many people are already aware of the difference between spirituality
and religion.  They realize that having a belief system - a set of
thoughts that you regard as absolute truth - does not make you
spiritual no matter what the nature of those beliefs is.  In fact,
the more you make your thoughts [beliefs] into your identity,
the more cut off you are from the spiritual dimension within yourself. 
Many 'religious' people are stuck at that level.  They equate truth
with  thought, and as they are completely identified with thought
 [their mind], they claim to be in sole possession of the truth in an
unconscious attempt to protect their identity.

What is arising now is not a new belief system, a new religion,
spiritual ideology, or mythology.  We are coming to an end,
not only of mythologies but also ideologies and belief systems.
The change goes deeper than the content of your mind,
deeper than your thoughts... to your Original Depth...

Eckhart Tolle
From - A New Earth
2005

~

Photo - from the internet

An Infinite Number of New Beginnings - Jeff Foster

In your attempt to be an 'adult',
you lose touch with your inner child.
In your rush to b the 'expert',
you disconnect from the amateur you,
the inner lover, innocent and wild.

In your quest for security,
your run from insecurity,
bury your anxiety, crush your doubts,
until one day they explode all over the place,
and make a mess of your nice, 'ordered' life.

Don't confuse the role you play
with who you truly are.
Don't confuse the adaptation with the actor,
the changing weather with the vastness of sky.

Your true identity lies in Presence...
And wonder.
And creativity.
And an infinite number of new beginnings.

Each moment.
Each canvas.
Each Now.

Jeff Foster

~

Jupiter, Venus, Moon - June 2015

I'm still here... :)

There have been several people who thought that my last post,
"Good-bye Yellow Brick Road" was about, among other things,
saying goodbye to this blog...

There are no plans to quit the blog...
or take it down...

Just opening another chapter...

It may take on a different flavor,
challenging my own fantasies about "spirituality."

I still have things I want to post which reflect where I am
in my "evolution of awareness", which may be of interest.
I will still post what inspires me and hopefully you as well...
I may re-post some of my earlier writings if it reflects where
I am now.

I humbly thank you for reading here,
and thank the handful of those who have encouraged me
to keep posting, both in private and in public.  I am glad that
you find what is posted here inspiring and thought provoking...

Namaste

_/\_

As a friend recently wrote to me:

"The mind continues to Wonder.
but without struggle or need."

And another wonderful quote from a blogger friend - by Rumi

"I have been a seeker, and I still am.
But I stopped asking the books and the stars,
I started listening to the teachings of my soul."

goosebumps!

Good-bye Yellow Brick Road...

It's ending... and as TS Eliot said: "in my end is my beginning."

It's ending, the meandering - not because I have reached a "goal"
or the "end" of wondering what is True, or achieved "fulfillment"
of Being - quite the contrary...

What has been needs to end -
the disillusionment,
of years on the "spiritual treadmill" -
caught in the futility of trying to understand, to get somewhere,
to be other than "me", a "better" me, or no-me at all...
Going in circles,
rewinding myself through the same conundrums
over and over again,
trying to believe what others say is True...

Acceptance has set in...

Acceptance of myself as "I" am - the whole of "me"
without the need for a "spiritual identity" - another facade;
just "me" - living, breathing, being -

without the comforting certainties of "knowing" the answer
to the questions.

Feels freeing - actually,
letting go of old identities,
old masks, old myths about
how it's all sposed to be;
whether "this" is just a dream of duality,
or - if there's really a non-dual existence of the Divine
and "me"...

But can't do that mind trip anymore...
I can only see what I can see
and let the rest go...

The pursuit has ended...

No more trying to "become"
"enlightened", "illumined", "liberated"

to appease the mind's fantasies
about "spirituality."

No more rose colored glasses,
no more "Lucy in the sky with diamonds",
no more Yellow Brick Road,
with the "Wizards" of an illusionary Oz pulling the strings...

Subtly, I fell into the same mind traps

over and over again -
wanting, longing, searching,
waiting
for that elusive final epiphany -
the dissolving of the "me" in Ecstasy...

But there was nothing;
no rainbow,
or pot of gold;
no "radiance of Being" shining...

Just "me" - still "me"...

So -
Good-bye Yellow Brick Road...
I'm laying down the burden of "spirituality"...
and simply allowing myself to Be...

Now...

at last

I am...

finally free...

Mystic Meandering
April 16, 2018

Namaste
_/\_

~*~

"If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again,
I won't look any further than  my own back yard,
because if it isn't there, I never really lost it
to begin with." :)

Dorothy
From the Wizard of Oz