Drumming the Fear...

Several days ago I was inspired watching a man play a “Hang Drum” on a You Tube Video posted on Simply This. It reminded me that I could *drum* the fear I have been experiencing – that I could feel it and drum the feeling. So I got out my old Buffalo drum from way back when, sat in my “Cave” and started drumming. Initially I was banging on the drum with my hand, banging out the feeling like you would expect a drum to be drummed by a two year old. Bang, bang, bang… Beating it loud and hectic – matching the intensity of the fear that I felt inside – each beat crescendoing (is this even a word?:) into the other - louder and faster. And then the banging stopped – not the fear. I found myself actually *playing* the drum with my fingers – resting it on its side in my lap up against my chest, holding it with one hand and playing it with the other – hearing tones in each subtle movement.

The harsh banging sounds spiraled into soft sounds of my fingers tapping out inner rhythms as the fingers spontaneously moved. Surprisingly they weren’t “fearful” sounds. They were comforting sounds; sometimes single little taps, sometimes rhythmic taps, sometimes little scratching sounds with my finger nails, and sometimes a blend of them all producing a somewhat lyrical expression. As I leaned in to the drum, listening more deeply, I heard faint echoey distant “music” emerging as the drum gave voice. I was mesmerized by it, caught up in the sound of the tones – losing my “self.” Listening to the song of the drum, the mind and its fear disappeared into a softer hum in the background. A moment of sweet repose…

The drumming sounds became the opening, the doorway into the deep Silence beyond the fear. Drumming opened the door to meeting the fear and just Being. I know this is not new – indigenous people use drumming as a doorway to Consciousness all the time. The drum and its song transported “me” (my awareness) to the depths of Stillness within – where fear does not dwell. Drumming became the Rhythm of the Deep – gently playing to my fearful heart. I leaned into it…

The waves of fear on the surface became less and less. It wasn’t that the fear was totally gone. It was that the Singing Silence within was greater…

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You can view another Hanging Drum Music Video
at Akasa Wolf Song's Blog
Heart Songs...

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Photo – scrapbooking paper