The path of reality - Nathalie Delay

The path of reality is a non-path, because it is above all
an exploration of life int its wholeness... without falling
back on our models and our repetitive, comfortable
pat-terns.  It's a non-path.....because we recognize in
real time how we negotiate with reality, how we 
cling to a belief or to our need for control, and how this
outlook keeps us from being in tune with the moment 
and creates our suffering...

The path of reality does not require us to conform to any
model, because it is not attached to what we do, think or
feel.  It invites us to see how we behave with our opinions,
our emotions, and with living beings.

The path of reality is more than anything a path of self-
knowledge, not in the psychological sense but in the
most essential and profound sense there is.  It helps
us rediscover our absolute aspect while incorporating
the most human part of us. It brings us back to the
roots of our being, making a complete humanity
possible...

Nathalie Delay

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Problems - Rigel Dawson

 Sometimes a problem is only a problem because you keep
trying to solve it.  Once you accept what can't be fixed,
it ceases to be a problem and simply becomes a reality
that exists...

Rigel Dawson
from pinterest

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

The Matrix of the Practical - A Plumbing Story

No, these are not my new “prayer flags”, although I probably need to get some and string them around the house. These towels are a sign that I’ve been caught in the matrix of the practical the past 2 weeks. And it wasn’t pretty. :) And you thought I had disappeared into the Forest, living a contemplative life. Needless to say, I have not stepped over that threshold yet…

The story begins with a plumbing back up in the kitchen sink on the afternoon of Nov. 5th, a Saturday. Dear Hubby tried to ream out the pipes to no avail, which meant we were without a functioning sink until the plumber came that Monday. So I washed dishes in the shower. :) The plumber successfully reamed out the kitchen pipe that runs under the basement floor, but it took 4 times – as we stood there with visions of having to dig up the basement. There was a clump of roots attached to the end of his reamer. Oh-oh. THEN, he discovered a leak coming down the basement wall at the site of the kitchen drain pipe. Oh dear. Not being “financially stable” at this point (as the Cricket job ended as quickly as it began because certain crickets couldn’t harmonize with each other – chirp) we opted to not have the plumber fix that, as DH said that *he* could fix that. Wifey :) didn’t believe it, but what can one do but to humor DH, and stay out of the way… So for two days DH tackled the job of finding and repairing the leaky pipe.
The dishwasher stood in the middle of the kitchen floor for two days. DH found a crack in the main kitchen drain pipe, right at floor level. And of course the pipe was not a straight line down to the basement. There was a 3 foot section of pipe that had elbows and turns in it to navigate the foundation. He cut out that section and took it to the local HD store. The handy men there told him to use a certain type of plumber’s “glue” – a thick, black, sticky substance – t0 seal up the crack. It worked! I amazingly maintained equanimity most of the time, with a few moments here and there of – what if you can’t fix it! He assured me he could. Oh me of little faith.

Six days later the sewer drain in the basement backed up at 11pm on Sunday night. Photo not available – you wouldn’t want to see it anyway. During the night the furnace went out and we woke up cold. Great – one more thing. My husband said the two were not related. By now I am turning into Eeyore, the poor-me little donkey in Winnie-the-Pooh, with more oh-dears, oh-no’s and what ifs, and how are going to ppppppaaayyyyy for th-th-this... Brain went into stress mode – biologically. The old neural pathways kicked in and I started functioning on automatic mode, the body contracted into a hard ball of anxiety and numbness. I would have liked to have made a different choice here, but I was unable to turn into the laughing Buddha – to see that it was my mind that was contracting around the event, creating stories. DH reminded me that I had become trapped in “the matrix of the practical” – as he coined it – only focusing on the practical problems and not the bigger picture. I had become trapped by my own mental matrix, and sitting in Silence in “The Forest” was the furthest thing from my mind – because – my mind had become entangled. And somewhere in the mental matrix there is still a belief in a separate sense of self that still feels threatened by life’s happenings – blocking the flow of Life through my “pipes.”

So – to continue - furnace guy and plumber guy arrive late Monday morning – fortunately not together. Furnace guy fixes furnace. Thankfully it is under warranty. Plumber guy, not so lucky. This time he reams out the outside access to the main sewer line to the house and can’t find the problem. So he calls the manager plumber with the special fiberoptic camera that looks into pipes. But *he* could not come until Tues at 11am, which turned into Noon. Meantime – no flushing the toilets and no running the water. Campers we are not. Maybe I need to rethink this sojourn into the Forest.

Tuesday camera guy finds the problem: tree roots in a 25 foot section of the main line in five different places. (We have two huge Cottonwoods, and a Walnut tree just a few feet from the house whose roots have infringed on the line.) So he ordered a “Jetter;” a plumber’s version of the “big guns” – a rooter with a cone shaped tip that shoots out forceful streams of water that cut through the roots. “Jetter” guy arrived an hour and a half late. (As Eeyore woud say – “of course” :) But, within a half an hour we are root free and back in business. Ah – life as it is… Never a dull moment. :)

I’ve always thought the “Forest Life” – the life of a contemplative - would be “easier”. Maybe that’s just my fantasy. I’m sure The Forest has its practical problems as well. You can’t escape the matrix of the practical. It’s just life happening the way it does – she says after the fact. :)

Late in the evening, as I prepared for bed, I noticed how wonderfully silent and peaceful the house was after all the chaos. And then I realized that it wasn’t the house that had been chaotic, it was my mind. And it wasn’t the house that was silent, it was the Silence within me being noticed again. The Silence had been underneath the mental matrix all along. I just couldn’t access it because of my narrow focus on the practical problems… I couldn’t see the Forest for the deeply entangled roots… I think I need a “Jetter.” :)

And that's the end of the plumbing tale - hopefully...

~*~

You might find this article in Parabola interesting…

Life is a Sand Fantasy...

For a woman, me, who is learning to surrender daily to “life as it is” – to face reality as it is – just this – just Now, I found this particular video fascinating and unexpectedly profound on many levels. Although probably not intended, there is a lot of Dharma in it about impermanence, change, facing reality, and living life as it is; obviously just what I needed. The Truth often comes through unexpected vehicles!

The video is of a woman named Ilana Yahav creating sand art. She calls it “Fantasy Sand Art.” The video is called “One Man’s Dream.” (It’s about 5 mins long, and you’ll need to close the pop-up boxes). He is dreaming of other realities, other places he’d rather be than the one he is in (only you don’t know this until the end). I find myself doing the same thing lately.

I am coming face to face with “life as it is” vs. my ideal of what I thought my life would be like at this stage of life, and am having a hard time adjusting to the reality of it – the reality of needing to be more involved and engaged with my elderly mother showing signs of dementia, who is trying to take care of my sister who has been bedridden the last two weeks with back and hip pain; possibly requiring more surgery. I see the writing on the wall here, and wonder how I will be able to keep pace physically – and emotionally, tending to their needs, as well as my own long term physical issues. We are all contending with the reality of our own situations, and each others. At this point the future seems daunting. But “the future” is sand fantasy too.

The challenge for me (besides the physical) is to not get caught in the re-play of family dysfunction and story - but to remember the Essence of Life that we all are. I can’t say that I’ve succeeded.

I show up and do what needs to be done in practical ways, while attempting to throw the sand around to create different realities *for them* - as if that were possible. Sand fantasy.

I experienced a rather intense melt down on Saturday (in private), coming to terms with life as it is, and my futile attempts to control it – allowing the anger, frustration and resentment to flow – which ultimately was a death knell for the "little me" who didn’t want to give up its false sense of control over “what is.” But the “me” with its need to control is sand fantasy too.

Byron Katie writes: “…when I listened within myself, I saw that the world is what it is, nothing more, nothing less. There is only what is, just the way it is, right now. Reality is what is true, whatever is in front of you, whatever is really happening, whether you like it or not…”

So this is my reality – just showing up for life and living it – the way it is.

Life is a sand fantasy – reality changes from moment to moment.

Enjoy the video!


For more cool sand art videos see Ilana Yahav's website:

http://sandfantasy.com

Life Happens - but this is ridiculous!

In the past week we have had several major mundane issues that needed tending to. The “serpentine belt” on the “good” car needed replacing. Sunday morning the garage door failed to open, despite my open-says-me, requiring a repairman. Monday evening the sewer line backed up into the basement. The plumber was here today reaming out the lines. It appears tree roots had grown into the pipe and clogged it like a little nest. These are issues that can happen to anyone, but all at once!? And although I know this is part of life just being what it is, I’m calling for a time out!

Today was also our 31st wedding anniversary. Not a celebration of wedded bliss, but marriage as “awakener” – the continuous nitty-gritty challenges of relationship and learning how to maneuver through them. And, along with that it seems, the continuous challenge of the mundane. We had intended to spend the day out on a small adventure, but here we were spending more time in the sludge of life, waiting on the plumber to get the flow going again. Come to think of it, this *is* a metaphor for our marriage. We’ve been so clogged up with the challenges of living that we’ve lost a lot of our flow. But that’s another blog…

During these trying times of practical reality I found the old emotional reactive patterns were awakened – like sleeping giants. There they were – Phee, Phi, Pho, and Phum – emerging from their caves. No lofty platitudes running through my head of “resting in awareness”, or stepping back for the bigger perspective. Oh no, it was the nitty-gritty dirt band of trolls under the bridge that started playing their tune, and I bought into it – knowingly – if that’s possible. Not unconsciously, but willingly dancing with the music.

I can tell myself: It is what it is, rest in awareness, let life unfold. They all sound so good, but we’re rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic here and the water is already up to our necks. I wonder how much longer we will be able to tread water and if there will be an air pocket left. Does “The Universe” want us to drown?! Maybe so… Yet, life goes on, things get fixed, I’m still breathing - so far. I *want* to “rest in awareness” like all the “gurus” say – to just let it be what it is – but… Yes, I’m still attached to the buts. But - I want life to flow, to be able to relax into life, trusting life. Yes, I admit it, I *want* life to be different than what it is at the moment, at this moment, in this NOW. The many “now” moments of chaos and upheaval that we have endured for years it seems have worn me down. Maybe that’s the point of it – wearing the “me” out until it gives up with its wants, and buts.

But - there’s another but - is it really resistance to want life to be different that what it is? Is it really the ego that wants life to be different, or is it Life Itself saying that things need to change… Is accepting “what is” mere resignation. I am questioning everything these days… Is there really a light at the end of the tunnel or is it just a freight train barreling down the track…

No matter how many questions I ask, or how many different ways I try to look at it, it seems it still comes back to “awareness” – just seeing what is playing out *without* the emotional engagement in it, if at all possible – AND making the necessary changes; accepting what is happening - as my husband reminds me - it *is* what’s happening, AND adapting to the situation – moving with it as much as possible. I *know* this is true. No matter how I look at it, it’s really just a story playing itself out in form. So - do I *believe* the story, or see beyond the story… Hmmm…

I’d like to have another story please! Could we change the channel? Can I buy a vowel? Pardon me while I whine… I’m so ready to awaken from this dream I’m dreaming!