Come meander with me on the pathless path of the Heart
in these anecdotal,
sometimes inspiring, sometimes personal meanderings of the Heart's opening in the every-day-ness of life...

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

November's Swan Song - Edge of Glory

It seems I’ve been at a loss for words lately, and so I’ve borrowed from others for my posts. Not that I’m in deep contemplative Silence here; not that there aren’t stories still occurring in my life to write about, with family and my own life circumstances. I love stories, yours and mine, especially the ones that have insight and wisdom as a result of the awareness that arises from the stories we find ourselves in. But nothing has arisen that wants to be written – until this morning. And of course I had to go to my mother’s… Such is life these days. The muse shows up and I have to say – wait, please wait, don’t’ go, I’ll be back… :) And this being the last day of November, on the edge of Winter’s arctic arrival tonight with a 40 degree temperature drop and snow, I thought this would be a nice way to say goodbye – to November that is. I’m not going anywhere :)

When I awoke this morning there was the usual dread and anxiety… And then for some unknown reason I asked myself – Who do I want to be today? Why this question, I have no idea. It just rolled off the brain. And I don’t mean that I want to become somebody else. The question itself made no sense. But with the question my solar plexus suddenly opened up, like a giant Sea Anemone, relaxed and became fluid. The constriction of dread and anxiety viscerally released. Another question arose: What does this *Being* that I am want… (You know, our essential Nature, our Being). With this next question my Solar Plexus opened even more, revealing more fluid energies like that of an aurora borealis… There was just a wide open fluid energy where my solar plexus is. It was as if the recognition of, and attention to, what Beingness wanted opened up the space.

As I showered I began to realize (once again) that *everything* is infused with this fluid Life that I was experiencing. Everything *is* this liquid Life (call it God, Buddha Nature, Christ Consciousness, “The Real” – everything is alive with this beautiful fluid Life.) And I began to belt out a few lines from the song “Edge of Glory” by Lady Gaga. Why that song? - who knows. And as I did so, I laughed and cried uncontrollably. Something deep inside broke open *to* this *presence* of Life inside.

Some “awaken” and laugh uncontrollably when they discover that all is an “illusion.” But for me the opposite happens. When I look around sometimes, I see that *everything* is REAL, is ALIVE. (I’ve had many such “moments.”) And it is seen that “illusion” is just a label, a story. When I *see* this Life, *feel* this Life energy, *experience* the Realness of this LIFE that we are – I become like a madwoman dancing :) – or singing – infused with an unexplainable and unspeakable sense of LIFE – totally and completely free.

When I see life this way – infused with *Life* – I can let life in; in whatever form it takes, or shape it comes in, because I know I am experiencing Life (Being) ItSelf. And Life does not make distinctions about what is Real (ItSelf) and what is “illusion.” It’s all “The Real.” The delusion of “illusion” drops away because our essential Nature is seen as this Aliveness that is living life. IT is experienced. One (The One) cannot separate “illusion”/phenomena from Reality - from ItSelf. *That* is sheer illusion. It’s all One Life. There’s no distinction – no boundary. It’s all fluid, seamless Life - playing – taking on form that we call “phenomena.”

In this realization, on the way home from my mother’s, everything came alive, became more vibrant – the trees, the mountains, the sky, the clouds, the music on the radio – even dead leaves were not seen as “dead” – as “Life-less.” Even my husband – not a non-existent illusion – but Aliveness in form. :) Everything plays, dances and sings with Life – like an aurora borealis – sometimes seen, sometimes not – depending on the “atmospheric conditions.” The “illusion” (depending on the perspective) is seen through to what animates the so-called “illusion.” I know, I sound like a madwoman standing at the edge. :) But I like the View from here…

“I’m on the edge of glory,
…hanging on a moment of Truth.

…I’m on the edge of glory…..with you.”

Lady Gaga
(what can I say :)

Shall we leap?

Northern Lights over Yellow Knife, BC, Canada
Sent to us by an online friend.


  1. Comment eaten by blogger! How rude!

    Just wanted to say what a lovely reminder of the aliveness of the world your post is. So good to be reminded of the rewards of listening, inwardly and outwardly, to be quiet, to drop the busyness for a bit and savour it.

  2. ZDS ~ Oh dear - the blogger monster? Had no idea. Thanks for letting me know. Glad you were able to get through! And thank you for your kind words... They are always appreciated.

  3. YES!! YES!! YES!! Dear Christine...THIS is my favorite post. "And Life does not make distinctions about what is Real (ItSelf) and what is “illusion.” It’s all “The Real.”...YES!! A thousand times YES!. With a deep bow and ultimate honor to the question: "Who/What does this *Being* that I am want?..." -- ♥

  4. Thank you Dear Leslie! And many deep, loving bows to you!

  5. so good to hear you had this wonderful day and perspective. amazing photo too.

  6. Fluid Life... that's the most lovely way to describe it! Life is fluid, juicy, sacred, ALIVE... we should be dancing every day to say Thank You. Doing a happy dance now. Stay fluid, Christine. ;o) ((HUGS))

  7. Thank you Suki :) I'm still "gaga" over your pictures of the Alpaca's and those huge loving eyes!

  8. Tracy ~ Yes! The Happy dance! It is filled with awe and gratitude knowing that Life is dancing all the time! Even if we don't see it, or experience it all the time. Life is just one big fluid dance! :) So let's dance!

  9. Aah Christine... feeling wordless and mother-dealings... I for one, resonate. Love being reminded I can choose in every moment how to meet it. That freedom just opens everything up. Tho I wish I had remembered to pause and choose, during these last few weeks at my mother's home. We're moving her. She's down-sizing. It's been difficult.

  10. Hi Kris! Yes, I can imagine it must be challenging times! I empathize... What I noticed for myself in this whole experience was that I could just let things be the way they are. With the solar plexus opening up there was just a sense of freedom to allow mother and sister to be who they are, and do what I needed to do without the reactive response. There was more of a flow, more of a sense of presence without contracting around what was happening. Keeping awareness on this sense of openness and fluidity just allowed me to be - fluid with it all... Interesting...


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