Dance with the Darkness - Author Unknown

The realization of wholeness is simply recognizing that
wholeness is the essential state of reality,
regardless of whether it is being experienced that way.

From: The Natural Contemplative

~

Everything is embraced/held by Pure Consciousness
including what we experience as "darkness."

Nothing is excluded, even the "darkness",
however that manifests in our minds.

You have to be willing to dance with the "darkness,"
which only means that you are willing to meet it,
to be with it, and not try to push it away;
not resist it as something absent of Light, but seeing
that the "darkness" is not the opposite of Light.

Just dance with whatever shows up...

The "darkness" is also part of the dance.

Nothing is excluded.

Everything is embraced.

It is Love dancing with ItSelf...

Author Unknown

~

Photo - artistic depiction of the earth via Uradiance

The "Essential" - Baret and Adams

At some point you no longer seek to be less this and more that,
to be without fear, to be without desire; you seek nothing.
This can be called a form of respect for The Essential.
The Essential is not something that is hidden behind the
appearance - these are beautiful Indian stories - the Essential
is what is Here. There is nothing else than that.  There is nothing
 to understand, there is simply nothing.  That's what is reflected
 as lightness that apparently arises when the situations suit
 your ideology and which apparently disappears when the
 situations do not correspond to your plan for humanity...
 [or yourself :) ]

Eric Baret
teaches from the Tantric Tradition

~

Silence is the ultimate reality.  Everything exists in this
world through silence.  True silence really means
 going deep within yourself to that place where nothing
 is happening, where you transcend time and space.
You go into a brand new dimension of nothingness.
That's your real home.
In deep silence there is not good or bad,
no one trying to achieve anything.
Just being, pure being...
[What Beret calls The Essential]

Robert Adams
of the Advaita tradition

Life is an Invitation - Misc.

To Love is to be vulnerably open
to everything as it is;
to chose to stay open
to life as it is...
to open to the Ineffable Love
that holds
existence...

Mystic Meandering
Journal Notes - 2012

Life is the art of drawing without an eraser;
erasing any of it would destroy
the total experience...

(a friend)

Every experience of life is an invitation
to awaken into an Awareness
of the
essential nature of Reality -
and who we really are...

Metta Zetty

(can you see the eyes in the window reflection
just under the leaves, looking down? :)

...you have forgotten
again and again
where you come from,
where you are meant to return...

Return...

Drop the distractions
and head home.
The door is open

Go in...

Deeper and deeper
inward...

...take refuge there...

This is not a time
of sorrow,
but of gratitude...

Mirabai Starr
excerpt from: Extravagant Stillness

The Purpose of the Journey - Joseph Campbell

The purpose of the journey is compassion.

When you have come past the pairs of opposites,
you have reached compassion.
The separateness apparent in the world is secondary.

Beyond that world of opposites is an unseen,
but experienced, unity and identity in us all.

Joseph Campbell
from The Hero's Journey

~*~

Compassion is knowing that
you are part of everyone,
and everyone is a part of you - is you.
When seeing this there is no longer judgment,
just a deeper understanding and respect
for our humanity -
a deeper compassion.

In the deep Stillness of Being
there is a deep compassion for everything that is.

There is compassion for the world
when seen as a whole - in context.
The nature of our Being is deep compassion.

Mystic Meandering
Meditative Writings
c. 2004-2006

~

Photo - from a friend of a friend...

The Infinite Sanctuary of Silence...

Being pulled inward
by the oceanic Sacred Silence within,

the Infinite Sanctuary of Silence,
you feel something deeply stirring,
 awakening

into
 awareness.

You know you must pay attention;

that you must be still and listen.

You sense the space of Essential Quietness
where everything just stops.
all mental agitation,
all emotional reactivism,

all verbalization of thought…

There is only the deepening language
of Silence;
a holy enclave of silent repose.
with no need for outward expression.

You recognize the spacious Stillness of pure Beingness.
You hear Its silent call…

The deep abode of inherent silent Awareness

invites you deeper,
 where Life just IS;

a deeper Reality,
out of which “daily reality” arises.

You experience an all pervasive Silence here,
 absorbing you in its quintessence;
the Sanctuary of the Sacred Rhythm of Life,
 the Primordial Womb

Pure Silence...
Pure Peace...

At rest...

Home

©Mystic Meandering

3-24-2013

Photo: Snow against window pain from the inside
photo flipped upside down…

Snow Melt...

I am maybe one of the only ones I know that is sad to see winter leave. I am a winter lover.  In a mere 10 days it will be Spring *on the calendar.* J  Fortunately here in Colorado we continue to get snow through the month of March, and if we’re lucky into April; this year to make up for the severe drought we have been in.  We got a snow fall Saturday that was magical. I wish I had gotten pictures.  The pictures below are of the snow melt today.  Sigh…  Reminders that all things pass away; all things transition, transform into their essential nature, and the never ending cycles of life continue. J

 “I would like to live like the river flows,

carried by the surprise of my own unfolding.”

John O’Donohue

 “The same stream of life that runs through the world

runs through my veins night and day

in rhythmic measure.

It is the same life that shoots in joy

through the dust of the earth
into numberless waves…”

Rabindranath Tagore

There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness,
but of power.

They speak more eloquently than
ten thousand tongues.

They are messengers….
inseparable from love…”

Washington Irving

Snow Confections...

For me Snow is a sweet medicine for the soul.  I know some of you in Canada, the Northeast, and the MidWest are tired of seeing so much snow this year, but we have been in severe drought conditions here in Colorado, so to get 8-10 inches in one storm is sweet medicine.  And even sweeter was this beautiful imprint of a bird in the snow (above photo) which I just happened to see as I looked nearly straight down from our eating nook window this morning.  The dark shadow is where its body left a hole, with the imprint of its wing feathers surrounding it.  With the play of light it looks like an actual white bird sitting there with wings outspread.  This is the magic of snow, of life really, if we only look for it, if we are open to seeing; something that I need to be more aware of.  Three hours later the image was nearly gone from the heat of the sun – melted back into the snow, evaporated into thin air.  Another metaphor of the impermanence of everything, the illusion of everything we take to be real; that things aren't always what they seem.   That which is on the surface of life dissipates and we must look deeper into the True Nature of things, to find the Essence of Life and Being…

In the meantime, while we ponder those existential questions of life J here are few more delectable snow confections for you to enjoy with your cup-o-life :)

 Muffin anyone?

 Or a Cupcake?

With dragonfly swizzel.
You can see I’ve been nibbling already J

 Some snow-capped yarrow gumdrops maybe?

(although they don’t look too delectable do they :)

 Or how about some Powdered Sugar Icing! J

Alegria!

Enjoy the sweetness of Life…

Wonders From the Depths of Being...

Bask in the passion of Truth – of Life;
the passionate Truth of Being.
Let yourself deepen into the
Depths

of the
Nameless Ocean of Being,
and become aware
of the
Truth of Being
that you are…

Mystic Meandering
Meditative Writings
July 2012

Wonder of wonders, I may have discovered my reason to get up in the morning. J  It seems it is to *experience* the Adventure of Being – whether one calls it Being, Awareness, Consciousness, Existence, Essential Nature, True Nature, Buddha Nature, Christ Consciousness, The Beloved, The Great Msytery, Emptiness, Love, etc.  Any name we give it is merely a description, a characteristic, a quality, an attribute.  But what is this Presence – this Ubiquitous Presence that just IS, that we *feel* as the very basis of our being, of life, of living?  I recently experienced it as the primal passion of Being, the Passion of Being for living ItSelf - here… There’s an Aliveness that wells up, that wants to know ItSelf and be known – intimately - to be acknowledged, experienced, and to be expressed.  Beingness Itself, beyond the mask of “me”, wanting to experience and express ItSelf – as life – as us.  Have you felt it…

I listen to and experience the depths of Being through sitting meditation, through becoming intimately *aware* of Beingness at the depths of Silence, aware of what is Aware of every experience, every thought, every feeling.  Aware of the fluidity, the movement and the tangible depth of Being.  It is Being, expressing ItSelf *as* life.  There is a subtle tingling, a “vibration” of “livingness” going on continuously – unendingly – at the depths of Being… It’s wondrously amazing. The “Emptiness” of Existence is alive and constantly generating Itself in the vibration called life.  There is a deep resonance within the depths of Being – a deep primordial hum of “livingness” – the silent hum of the Universe that vibrates all life into Existence – OM.  It is a deep Aliveness that cannot be interpreted or labeled.  It is not even really “Joy.”  It’s not even “Awareness”.  I can only describe it as a natural, ongoing, all pervasive “Knowingness” – Omniscience – “Omness” (is that a word?) J  But that’s just my experience…  How do you experience the depths of Being – if you care to share…

And in truth, what wants to *be* and just *is* cannot be put into words! Even though we try :) Being has to be experienced – felt – known internally.  It requires complete openness to and immersion in the depths of Being, without agenda - untethered; a willingness to dive deep, to be still, to be aware, to ask to know the Truth of Existence, to listen at the depths of Being and go beyond everything that we *think* we know conceptually - and just know intuitively with the Heart…

Are we willing to *know* with child-like wonder that we *are* the living, breathing Om of the Universe, that we *are* Beingness itself – reverberating through time and timelessness…

Now that’s a reason to get up in the morning! J

Photo
Cloud cover tinted blue
and “radial blurred.”

"The Beloved's" Romance...

Absorbed in Nature,
the natural world,
we remember
that we are
embraced by
”The Beloved.”

Experiencing Nature
*is* experiencing “The Beloved”
experiencing ItSelf *as* Life.

Experiencing Nature
is experiencing the Formless
becoming form, taking shape,
*as* Formlessness;
the ineffable Nature of Being…

…the Beloved morphing Itself
into “mere” form…

Saying ~ here, look, see ~
*See* ME…

Offering the invitation to open to
the Nature of Being…

Offering the gift of
*seeing*
*hearing*
*awareing*
*experiencing*
~ Beingness ~
experiencing ItSelf
as an owl,
as a tree,
as the sunset,
as me,
as
‘B’

…all conduits of “The Beloved’s” Love
romancing life…

And who is “The Beloved”?

The Form and the Formless…
The Every-thing-ness of Existence,
calling to us to play in
”The Beloved’s”
Divine Play…

Calling to us to remember “The Beloved’s”
embrace
and be absorbed
by
”The Beloved’s”
Love…

Reminding us
through
Nature
everyday
that
we
*are*
”The Beloved’s”
Love…

The
True
Romance


And what is “The Beloved’s” Romance?
To be in love with Life
To feel ALIVE *to* Life
To play *with* Life
To Dance *with* Life
in the
Dance of Existence…


Look beyond the surface of “things”
as they seem;
this “mere” humanness,
this “mere” existence,
to the Essence
of
”The Beloved…”

Life in love with ItSelf…


*See* into the *Nature* of “things,”
and Romance with “The Beloved”
will blossom…




Mystic Meandering
copyright
January 24, 2012


“B” is my husband :)

"The Beloved" - as I use it here, is the luminous,
ever-present Presence that animates
all life;
that *is* Life,
not a separate entity of being...

Twilight Walks - December

In December I started taking walks at twilight through the neighborhood. Something I haven’t done in the 15 years we have lived here; finally getting to know where I live… ‘Bout time, don’t you think :) Walking in this liminal light, life seems more alive to me. In this in-between space something awakens in me. The spirit of Life becomes more apparent as life goes through its daily transition from light to dark. I seem to become more *aware* of the Mystery behind it all, driving it all, compelling me to seek it out. Twilight becomes a threshold of heightened awareness of Life being lived: the sounds of birds bedding down in the pines and spruces; the sight of a flock of geese flying; the crunching of snow and ice beneath my feet; the smell of dinners being prepared; the sound of a man chipping ice from the gutter so the snow melt can flow; the sun splaying its light out in a final flare of color in the clouds just before the light disappears completely.

In all this noticing I become aware of the vast spaciousness of the sky. And in that noticing - the awareness that I am really *not* on solid ground – but suspended on a small spinning globe that looks like a marble *within* this vastness of space. It is not Earth *and* Sky – as if two separate entities meeting at the horizon - but Earth enveloped by Sky – enveloped by the vast eternal spaciousness of Being. Ironically, the twilight walks help me to *see*…

One evening in particular I felt a deep heart ache, a deep longing in my heart. Maybe you have felt it too sometimes - that deep longing or ache in your being for that felt sense of the Sacred, that sense of Presence; that felt “connection” with the Essence of all Life; for the Truth of Existence; a longing for a deeper intimacy with the Nature of Being. A *deep* unexplainable gratitude arose from this longing, for the experience of this vastness and intimacy with the Nature of all things, through nature. It was a gratitude that was beyond comprehension. This gratitude for Existence and the vastness of Being opened up a larger context of awareness that cannot be fully described, or grasped, allowing me to *see* the *beauty* and *aliveness* of the natural world, and our essential Nature - *as* all one Beingness, one Aliveness. Beingness ItSelf living ItSelf here, intimately alive – as this – as us… What a wonderful alive Mystery!

As I walked in the crispness of the winter air, feeling a deeper kinship with the Nature of all things, I began to feel as if I was really *meeting* Life for the first time. And I liked it. I liked this new exploration of my environment, the new felt connection to the natural world, and my new re-discovery of the vastness of Being - and what it stirred inside.

As the sun moved further down behind the mountains, house lights began to give off their warm glow. My focus went to wondering about the people who live in them. Neighbors, yet strangers – and all Beingness too. I noticed a cat viewing the sunset in one window, and a dog barking at me from another as I passed by. Beingness being too…

Enthralled by my inner discoveries and the dimming light of twilight, I startled when a neighbor greeted me from her driveway. We don’t know each other well, except the exchanged pleasantries of neighbor-strangers over the years. We had a brief encounter as she thanked me for the card I sent her over a year ago when she was first diagnosed with cancer, and tells me that her cancer has come back, even though treated for a year. She seems undisturbed by the news. I, on the other hand, in my vulnerable, open state, felt saddened by the awareness of another threshold occurring right across the street; another in-between space as life continues its natural cycles. None of us is immune. We’re always at a threshold of the unknown. And I’m beginning to allow myself to be there and deeply *feel* that in-between space; to be deeply touched by the unknown spaces of Life. I crossed the street, comforted by the sight of the familiar light of home at twilight – feeling a new openness to the vastness and essence of Life as I crossed the threshold…

November's Swan Song - Edge of Glory

It seems I’ve been at a loss for words lately, and so I’ve borrowed from others for my posts. Not that I’m in deep contemplative Silence here; not that there aren’t stories still occurring in my life to write about, with family and my own life circumstances. I love stories, yours and mine, especially the ones that have insight and wisdom as a result of the awareness that arises from the stories we find ourselves in. But nothing has arisen that wants to be written – until this morning. And of course I had to go to my mother’s… Such is life these days. The muse shows up and I have to say – wait, please wait, don’t’ go, I’ll be back… :) And this being the last day of November, on the edge of Winter’s arctic arrival tonight with a 40 degree temperature drop and snow, I thought this would be a nice way to say goodbye – to November that is. I’m not going anywhere :)

When I awoke this morning there was the usual dread and anxiety… And then for some unknown reason I asked myself – Who do I want to be today? Why this question, I have no idea. It just rolled off the brain. And I don’t mean that I want to become somebody else. The question itself made no sense. But with the question my solar plexus suddenly opened up, like a giant Sea Anemone, relaxed and became fluid. The constriction of dread and anxiety viscerally released. Another question arose: What does this *Being* that I am want… (You know, our essential Nature, our Being). With this next question my Solar Plexus opened even more, revealing more fluid energies like that of an aurora borealis… There was just a wide open fluid energy where my solar plexus is. It was as if the recognition of, and attention to, what Beingness wanted opened up the space.

As I showered I began to realize (once again) that *everything* is infused with this fluid Life that I was experiencing. Everything *is* this liquid Life (call it God, Buddha Nature, Christ Consciousness, “The Real” – everything is alive with this beautiful fluid Life.) And I began to belt out a few lines from the song “Edge of Glory” by Lady Gaga. Why that song? - who knows. And as I did so, I laughed and cried uncontrollably. Something deep inside broke open *to* this *presence* of Life inside.

Some “awaken” and laugh uncontrollably when they discover that all is an “illusion.” But for me the opposite happens. When I look around sometimes, I see that *everything* is REAL, is ALIVE. (I’ve had many such “moments.”) And it is seen that “illusion” is just a label, a story. When I *see* this Life, *feel* this Life energy, *experience* the Realness of this LIFE that we are – I become like a madwoman dancing :) – or singing – infused with an unexplainable and unspeakable sense of LIFE – totally and completely free.

When I see life this way – infused with *Life* – I can let life in; in whatever form it takes, or shape it comes in, because I know I am experiencing Life (Being) ItSelf. And Life does not make distinctions about what is Real (ItSelf) and what is “illusion.” It’s all “The Real.” The delusion of “illusion” drops away because our essential Nature is seen as this Aliveness that is living life. IT is experienced. One (The One) cannot separate “illusion”/phenomena from Reality - from ItSelf. *That* is sheer illusion. It’s all One Life. There’s no distinction – no boundary. It’s all fluid, seamless Life - playing – taking on form that we call “phenomena.”

In this realization, on the way home from my mother’s, everything came alive, became more vibrant – the trees, the mountains, the sky, the clouds, the music on the radio – even dead leaves were not seen as “dead” – as “Life-less.” Even my husband – not a non-existent illusion – but Aliveness in form. :) Everything plays, dances and sings with Life – like an aurora borealis – sometimes seen, sometimes not – depending on the “atmospheric conditions.” The “illusion” (depending on the perspective) is seen through to what animates the so-called “illusion.” I know, I sound like a madwoman standing at the edge. :) But I like the View from here…

“I’m on the edge of glory,
…hanging on a moment of Truth.

…I’m on the edge of glory…..with you.”

Lady Gaga
(what can I say :)



Shall we leap?

Northern Lights over Yellow Knife, BC, Canada
Sent to us by an online friend.

The Joy of Spontaneity

Last Friday I was surprised by unexpected joy – aliveness – an inner dance of Light and lightheartedness. Unfortunately I haven’t had time to write about it until Now :). I felt an inner excitement that I know all too well comes and goes, just like the sad feelings, or any other for that matter – but I was delighted and amused by this feeling of spontaneous joy rising. Honestly, sad to say, it doesn’t happen that often. I do not have what might be considered a “joyful” outlook on life. :) In fact my mother called me “the dark cloud” most of my childhood. So an effusion of “joy” is not normally expressed here – we were not a band of “joyful souls.” There was a darker cloud that loomed over us, and it wasn’t mine. But I’ll spare you that story. Suffice it to say, there wasn’t an environment that nurtured joy. So when it arose within me I *knew* it had to come from a place of pure Being deep within.

It seemed to me that by honoring and giving space for the sadness to express the day before, it freed the space up for joy to spontaneously arise. I think the same is true with all our shadow aspects – our “darker” feelings. When they are acknowledged and recognized, it frees them, releases their hold on us, and opens the door for the heart to play - spontaneously…

Everything became spontaneous; every action, every idea, thought, movement – eliciting a sense of joy. I spontaneously went for a 2 hour walk at 12 noon, which I never do; didn’t think about it, just did it, and rediscovered a new place to walk and take pictures. I had driven over to my “regular” walking path, but there were two huge dump trucks blocking the road to the parking area, and many cars were already trapped there, waiting for the trucks to move, so I decided not to chance it. Feeling a little bummed that my moment of joy was about to wane, I spontaneously remembered there was a little park right near our house. So I went there, with anticipation and curiosity.

This inner joy thrived in my new surroundings as I walked down winding concrete walking paths through a small, tree-filled park with a small pond, manicured gardens still in bloom. As I strolled along with my new friend, Joy, taking it in, I spotted a big yellow and black butterfly fluttering around one of the round gardens that happened to be quite fragrant. I have no idea what those little pink flowers are, but they were potent. I tried to get a picture, but the butterfly’s wings just kept fluttering and “he/she” wouldn’t sit still – of course. She was just doing what a butterfly does – thoroughly enjoying herself. She moved from flower to flower and I’d chase after it trying to capture “the moment”, leaning into the flowers as far as I could, camera extended, to get the right shot, and she’d move on to the next blossom, and me with her - trying to keep up with her joyful dance. I was in the moment *with* her – completely focused, although having trouble keeping the camera focused on her. Somehow magically I managed a couple of fairly good shots! The dragonfly was more cooperative, as I caught him resting on a stem.

I thought of how contemplative photographers must be soooo patient, so mindful, so still, just waiting for just the right moment to snap the shutter; skills I have yet to learn – particularly patience and contemplative photography. I was having too much fun playing with Joy to be patient! I completely lost myself in the experience, in the fun of it, in the presence of nature’s joy. Life should be like this everyday – a nurtured sense of natural Joy! For some I know it is… It is our natural state of Being after all… But it seems to come more naturally for some…

Even in this new Now today - new day, new feelings - I remember how I *in*-joyed the experience whole-heartedly – spontaneously. Spontaneously knew when it was time to leave, and spontaneously went about the rest of my day – in an uncontrived, natural state of joy... I could say my entire being was purely joy-ing that day. :) Yes, I know, it’s called enjoying… I did that too…

Remember Joy!

All We Are, we are...

All this week the phrases: "All We Are, we are" and “just be as you are,” have been running through my head. The first phrase is the chorus line of a song by the same name that caught my attention a year ago while at the grocery store. The second is the title of one of Ramana Maharshi’s books (Be As You Are). And after my "Life is Everything" moment in the previous post, I once again became aware that ALL we are, we are. All of who we are is Consciousness expressing ItSelf here. We are the Self – expressed. However you label that: - Beingness, Life, God-Consciousness, the Vastness, Awareness, the Space of Emptiness/Stillness - is living ItSelf *as* us in every moment. You probably heard this theme in my last post. It’s a reoccurring theme that keeps driving itself home here. So I write about it. Interesting phrase – “driving ItSelf home.” :)

We can’t be anything other than what/who we are. We are who we are… All of it – not just the parts we like, but even our hidden parts, the “darker” parts; the depression, the anger, the anxiety, the restlessness, the doubts, the uncertainties, the insecurities, the resistances, and the seeker in us… All of it is the Face of the Self – Being – expressing ItSelf as us – authentically.....Life as it is – me exactly as I am. There is nothing that needs to be changed! Nothing wrong with this expression called “me.” There is nothing that needs to be done away with, practiced into perfection, improved on, polished to make it look shiny and “enlightened.” The “awakening” is the *seeing* that we are all an expression and the experience of Beingness.

The waves of the Ocean rising and falling back into ItSelf are still the Ocean – in movement with ItSelf. We are the ripples on the pond - all ripples being the movement of the pond. Not separate. Not separating out the good and bad waves, as I tend to do – still – *believing* that “enlightenment”/”awakening”/perfection/True Nature is something to attain or achieve somewhere down the road, something to grow into – that IT somehow should *look* different than the way it looks now. In believing this way I “complexify” ("I" loves to make up words:) what is really very simple - the simplicity of simply becoming *aware* of the space of Awareness – aka: True Nature/The Nature of Reality/Buddha Nature/Christ Consciousness - that expresses ItSelf as this “me.” THAT is who “we” are. THAT is who lives this life.

You’ll have to pardon my enthusiasm as I rediscover this for myself. :)

Everything is THAT. I know this, and I forget this. I become aware and then unaware… And so the still small Voice continues to use the ordinary to softly whisper ITs music through my head:

All We Are, we are...

Just BE as you are…

~*~

"...the heart of all practices is simply sustaining the
luminous nature of present awareness...."

Dzogchen Master

Jamgon Kongtrul Rinpoche
The Great Perfection

~*~

Photo - "The Face of Self"

Shadow of Bamboo leaves
with rainbow reflected on a wall...

Hibernating Land...

Frozen Earth bound in time,
preparing for the thaw,
allowing flow and movement
to regain rhythm and rhyme…

Frozen streams of frosted glass
crystallize the sun;
forming lances of light to illuminate
the path,
through this natural prism,
opaquely wrapped.

The silence of the hibernating land
speaks in loud whispers
through the trees;
crying soul-callers of the sky
fly in comfortable bands,
sounding the homing call,
kindredly clanned.

Come Home
Be Free...



Mystic Meandering
copyright
January 1998


photo - sun through frost on window
Feb. 2010

Egoless Window

The past couple of nights the neighbor’s house has been dark and quiet – thankfully. Only the bright moon light lit the yards. On these nights the theme of “me” arose… I scratched some notes out on the windowsill in the moonlight:

“Window sitting”, like meditation, takes the focus off the “me” and puts the focus on awareness and what is Aware… Awareness unwinds the “me” – slows it down – gives it space.

Worrying about whether there’s a “me” or no-me is tedious and keeps one focused on the “me” as if the “me” is arguing its own existence. The thought arises that the tree does not argue whether it is a tree or not… It just “bes” the tree. (Yes, that is what I wrote :)

The so-called “me” is like a lens through which “I” (the Essential Nature of Being) sees the world, sees life, how the “I” engages with life…

It seems “we” have to lose focus through the lens of “me”, in a sense. We have to let go of our narrow focus of “me” and open the aperture. We need to allow the “me” to blur – to not *know* - to not focus so much, to take in the larger view, to not fixate on *things*, thoughts, ideas, feelings, circumstances, people, etc. We have to soften our gaze… And realize that there really is only the soft gaze of the Eternal – Seeing through the “me.”

“I” became aware in this moment, sitting at the window, that “I” really am not a “me.” There is no clear sense of a “me.” There is just a fluid sense of “Selfness”/Isness/Beingness (the only way I know to describe it) – but no clear cut definable “me” that can be painted in with numbers. There is no sense of identification as a “me”, as a label, a title – no clear cut focal point. And the question arises: Is it true that there is no solid me? What arises is that in allowing our focus to blur, to widen, the *attachment* to ego/me becomes less and less. There is a blurring of the “me” that actually allows for greater vision.

The sense arises that the “me” is a *function* of “I”-ness, of Awareness; a practical function. Like thought function, or body function, there is a “me” function, but there is no definable, distinction of a “me” from this “I”-ness (Beingness/Awareness).

If this is true, then the “me” cannot be free! The “me” is not ME! It is only a function of this egoless “I”-ness. The “me” can never be free because “I” is already free and the “me” is just a function of that “I”, like a trained function, a trained dog – habituated to perform in certain ways. The “me” gets used to this function and believes it alone exists, because it appears to have a primary function in the system. But the “me” is just a phantom – a shadow of the “I.” All there really is, is I–Awareness – the Essential Nature of Being…

~*~