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Come meander with me on the pathless path of the Heart
in these anecdotal,
sometimes inspiring, sometimes personal meanderings of the Heart's opening in the every-day-ness of Life...

Thursday, February 14, 2013

The Hard Kind of Love...



“Love never dies a natural death.
It dies because we don’t know how
to replenish its source.

It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds;
it dies of weariness,
or witherings,
or tarnishings.”

Anais Nin
 

This may seem like an odd quote to post on the global day for celebrating “love.”  But when I read it a week or so ago on Love Is A Place it struck me as being true in so many ways – not just about romantic love, but in our day to day relationships with lovers, spouses, partners and companions; our dysfunctional families who are hard to love, friendships that die because of betrayal or wounds; or when the love for life within dies when we grow tired of the pain of life and living; when despair comes to visit and platitudes of love no longer “work” to soothe the weary heart.  We need to find a way to nourish Love – not being quick to correct and criticize, but eager to empathize and encourage – to hold the Heart open – as hard as that is.  We need to find Love’s Source and bathe in it to know the enduring kind of love that sustains – that understands the weariness, the witherings and tarnishings of love over time, embracing them.  It’s a hard kind of love that willingly leans into life when it doesn’t turn out as we planned, that willingly lets go of betrayals, and errors, and wounds; that willingly stands in the face of hatred - unmoved.  I am not good at this kind of love…   It’s the hard kind of love that no one tells you that you will need for the journey of Love.  It must be discovered, and rediscovered, as it calls us to open our hearts again and again and again – to Love…


Photo: a heart shaped stone
laid in an old weathered wound of a tree…
Do you see that incredible weathered face there?




10 comments:

  1. I do see the withered face here, the same as I feel I understand what you are saying, it is with a grateful heart that I say thank you for posting this way on this day because true rounded out understanding of love is not always available when we need it, as you say " It’s the hard kind of love that no one tells you that you will need for the journey". x

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    1. Heart Hugs Dear Sue as I know you know what the "hard kind of love" is! You have lived it!

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  2. The weathered face looks to me a little like the famous Munsch painting, The Scream. I think that corny movie line "Love is never having to say you're sorry" got it backwards. When it comes to loving someone, we should always be willing to admit when we are "wrong" and to forgive the other for their perceived wrong-doings. Sometimes, though, the best path is to forgive and move on. Love is sometimes letting go. Your words are thought-provoking and a welcome antidote for all the forced sweetness so prevalent on this Hallmark card day. May you find sweetness at the bottom of the cup.

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    1. You're right it does look like "The Scream!" I also saw an owl. And so true, love is always having to say you're sorry - at least in this household :) Being mindful of one's impact on the other, being aware of the dynamics of love and how it isn't *usually* hearts and roses, but living the nitty-gritty of life... All my friends here are the sweetness in my cup :)

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  3. Beautifully expressed, Christine! This is the flip-side of Valentine's Day, and equally as important. Love nurtured--beyond the bunch of roses and chocolates on day a year--is something we ought to make a daily practice. The practice of love. :o) LOVE to you, my friend ((HUGS))

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    1. Thank you Dear Tracy :) Yes, I like your words, "love nurtured" - exactly, not only with our spouses, but all those ugly places that are harder to love... And I know you make everyday a practice of love! :) Heart Hugs...

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  4. Yes, a mature love beyond pink and red and roses and chocolates...it's harder to "market" isn't it? Not always very pretty, but so essential! I love this post!

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    1. Thanks Uma :) Yeah, the hangin' in there kind of love - especially with family :)

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  5. Love is an everyday affair of, as you say, opening the heart, forgiving, listening with love, cherishing and revering the other. Reverence for life, people, animals, minerals and all.

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    1. Absolutely! :) Our orientation and relationship to life in general. Perfectly said - thank you!

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