Love Floats...

~ Love ~

wafted through my being one night;
a simple, unassuming
gentle, tender, openness of love
that just
floated
t h r o u g h ~~~~

Don't know where it came from - or why...

It's imponderable...

It moved through
like a feather of light;
a moment of in-spiration
here and gone,
awakening the 
Heart.

It came without reason...

Just ~ Love ~ loving.

Somehow I knew
that our deepest purpose,
our deepest Truth
is this "Love"
that softly glided through,
unannounced...

We cannot contrive this
Love, this purpose...
grasp it, or hold onto it.
It is not a goal, or concept.
It is not "we" who love
but simply Love loving,

on its own,
without effort.

Love happening...

Unbidden
Unexpected

"We" merely remain open
and allow
Love
to come,
to move in us,
and through us.

Like a fragrant breeze
that drifts
through an open window,
softly kissing the air,
startling the senses
awake...

and before dissipating,
silently whispers...

All there is,

is
~ Love ~

~

And so it is...

Mystic Meandering
May 17, 2015

~

Photo -  Mystic Meandering

 

Allow yourself to be used - Thomas Merton

You are fed up with words, I don't blame you.
I am nauseated by them sometimes.  I am also,
to tell the truth, nauseated by ideals and with causes.
This sounds like heresy, but I think you will understand
what I mean.  It is so easy to get engrossed with ideas
and slogans and myths that in the end one is left holding
the bag, empty, with no trace of meaning left in it.  And
then the temptation is to yell louder than ever in order to
make the meaning be there again by magic.  Going through
this kind of reaction helps you to guard against this.
Your system is complaining of too much verbalizing,
and it is right.

...The big results are not in your hands or mine, but they
suddenly happen, and we can share in them, but there is
no point in building our lives on personal satisfaction,
which may be denied us and which after all is not that
important.

The next step in the process is for you to see that your
even thinking about what you are doing is crucially
important.  You are probably striving to build yourself
an identity in your work, out of your work...  You are
using it, so to speak, to protect yourself against
nothingness, annihilation.  That is not the right use of
your work.  All the good that you will do will come,
not from you but from the fact that you have allowed
yourself to be used by Love [Grace].  Think of this
more and more and gradually you will be free from
the need to prove yourself, and you can be more
open to the power that will work through you
without your knowing it.

Thomas Merton

~

"We are an instrument of Grace...
We are being played...
Keep the instrument tuned so
that Grace can play the music."

Mitch Rosacker
Self Discovery Studio

~

Photo - "The Mystery" playing :)

Found Notes - MM

"There are no shortcuts to what lies beyond."

"There is poetry in emotion that needs to be expressed -
allowing yourself to be raw and open to what arises..."

"letting life take care of itself,
being open to where life goes..."

~

I found this piece of paper that these notes were hand-
written on, on top of some papers that were in a stand-
alone plastic file holder - as shown in the photo - on a
table next to my desk - very noticeable from where I
sat, noticing something was out of place, as messy as
it is :) - as if they were left for me to see...

I have no idea who said them!, or where I got them
from...  But wanted to share them as they seem
relevant for life as we are experiencing it at the
moment...

Namaste

_/\_

A Room - Jane Hirshfield

A room does not turn its back on grief.
Anger does not excite it.
Before desire, it neither responds
nor draws back in fear.

Without changing expression,
it takes
and gives back;
not a tuft in the mattress alters.

Windowsills evenly welcome
both heat and cold.
Radiators speak or fall silent as they must.

Doors are not equivocal,
floorboards do not hesitate or startle.
Impatience does not stir the curtains,
a bed is neither irritable or rapacious.

Whatever disquiet we sense in a room
we have brought there.

And so I instruct my ribs each morning,
pointing to hinge and plaster and wood -

You are matter, as they are.
See how perfectly it can be done.
Hold, one day more, what is asked.

Jane Hirshfield
from The Lives of the Heart

via The Beauty We Love

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering
digitally altered

Happiness - Hermann Hesse

As long as you chase happiness,
you are not ready to be happy,
even if you owned everything.

As long as you lament a loss,
run after prizes in restless races,
you have not yet known peace.

But when you have moved beyond desire,
become a stranger to your goals and longings
and call no longer on happiness by name,

then your heart rises calmly
above the ebb and flow of action
and peace has reached your soul.

Hermann Hesse
translation by Ludwig Max Fischer

via: The Beauty We Love

An Unfinished Song - Mark Nepo

The more we surrender the more we are touched by
the life around us...

In our journey, when.....driven by experience
we spiral through a stripping of our will,
reduced to an unfinished song.....into
a place of increasing surrender
that always brings us closer
to the essence of
life.

It is often when in need -
when too sad to keep the mask in place,
too tired to keep the wall propped up,
too wounded to lift the sword -
often it is then that we glimpse
each other as we really are,
stripped of all things we think
we need to protect ourselves.

When we are humbled to surrender
our claims of control and mastery,
we are invited into a space where
we are both completely ourselves
and completely beyond ourselves.

In moments of total surrender
we become the song
that brings us and others alive.

Surrendering control, letting go
and accepting,
opens a small
doorway
back
to life;
to being present
and staying open...
to the mystery of Being,
living in Wholeness...


Mark Nepo
From: The Exquisite Risk:
Daring To Live An Authentic Life

(Mark's words, my compilation)

Photo - Mandala Art digitally altered

Let Life Open You - Mark Nepo & MM

As you enter the day,
try not to reach for life...
Try to let life enter you.
Allow what touches you to
change your path...

Drop all reachings and simply open...
We have to settle into the wait
until we discover that there's
nowhere to go...

If we can survive the pain of being emptied,
a deeper place is cleared
in which the mystery can sing through us...
Each soul is a living flute
being carved by life to
a deeper and deeper song...

Uncover the mystery of strength by bringing
into focus a deeper sense of truth,
and your ability to step quite naturally,
with your heart...

Excerpts from Mark Nepo's book:
The Book of Awakening
(Mark's words, my format)

~

Trusting in the simplicity of Life,
let Life come to you...
Resting in simplicity,
Life will find you...

The more you trust Love
the more Life will
open up to you...

Mystic Meandering
Meditative Writings
2004

~

Top Photo - digitally altered

Be Where Love Is...

"My heart, sit only with those

who know and understand you.

Sit only under a tree

that is full of blossoms.

In the bazaar of herbs and potions

don't wander aimlessly,

find the shop with a potion that is sweet.

If you don't have a measure

people will rob you in no time.

You will take counterfeit coins

thinking they are real.

Don't fill your bowl with food from

every boiling pot you see.

Not every joke is humorous, so don't search

for meaning where there isn't one.

Not every eye can see,

not every sea is full of pearls.

My heart, sing the song of longing

like nightingale.

The sound of your voice casts a spell

on every stone, on every thorn.

First, lay down your head,

then one by one

let go of all distractions.

Embrace the light and let it guide you

beyond the winds of desire.

There you will find a spring and

nourished by its sweet waters

like a tree you will bear fruit forever."

 –Rumi

Via: Love Is A Place

I was lamenting to a friend recently about the dynamics of my family of origin and how challenging it is to be around an angry alcoholic who hates the world and acts with disgust toward everyone, making faces at both my mother and me...  TMI?  J  Maybe, but this is the reality of facing into life as it is…  I sometimes want to recoil, and find my heart contracting in the face of such disdain - not wanting to be wounded again, vowing that *I* do *not* have to endure this behavior - clearly failing in the "unconditional love" department. :)  And yet, I return and try to keep the Heart open once again...  But I also made this comment to my friend: “I need to be where Love is…” – as Rumi points to in his poem – to be in the unprotected ease and openness of people who *know* LOVE.  But do any of us really *know* Love - the pure Essence of Love…  Sometimes our families of origin are not where we find Love – the unconditional kind of Love that nurtures, and allows us to flourish.  I'm sure some of you have already experienced this…   And so, where do I find this Heart of Love, how do I come to know this Love more deeply myself, so that I may be present in and to a family who doesn’t *know* real Love, but is caught up in the matrix of their madness?   

It is in the deep Silence during meditative times that I experience this expansive Love the most.  We are immersed in this vast open *space* of Love that holds us and embraces us without condition - from within...  The Heart of Love is within. 

“And so the journey continues…  Your Heart takes you…..to an endless landscape of love that knows no boundaries.  And the wind is real and the snow continues to fall and the love continues, and will always continue.  So you can leave behind those old worn clothes that you called your existence, those ways you used to walk when you thought you were alive.  Because here in this place that is like no other there is the freedom you always knew, a freedom that belongs to love.

Do not be discouraged…..when the wheels of existence carry you always along roads you would rather not travel.  There is this other land, this landscape that belongs to love.  This is the place where the two seas meet [meaning where human and Divine meet], where existence reveals its secrets, where time uncovers what always was, even if you have never seen it before.

 You *are* the place where the two seas meet, where love is uncovered…  There is always this place, the vastness [of love] that calls to us.  Remember, it is always here.  It cannot be anywhere else."

 Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee
Sufi Mystic

From: Fragments of a Love Story


You might also be interested in reading the post:
Prickly Personalities 
about how I met this prickly situation two years ago...

Photo:  My new Amaryllis in full bloom!

Evoking Love J

Learning about Love...

“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves,
and not to twist them to fit our image.
Otherwise we love only the reflection of
ourselves we find in them…”

Thomas Merton

“You have to learn to get up from the table
when love is no longer being served…”

Nina Simone

“Love arises when you die into
the Unknown Mystery of Being -
when you realize that Love
has no intention to change you,
it has no agenda…”

Adyashanti

The Hard Kind of Love...

“Love never dies a natural death.
It dies because we don’t know how
to replenish its source.

It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds;
it dies of weariness,
or witherings,
or tarnishings.”

Anais Nin

 

This may seem like an odd quote to post on the global day for celebrating “love.”  But when I read it a week or so ago on Love Is A Place it struck me as being true in so many ways – not just about romantic love, but in our day to day relationships with lovers, spouses, partners and companions; our dysfunctional families who are hard to love, friendships that die because of betrayal or wounds; or when the love for life within dies when we grow tired of the pain of life and living; when despair comes to visit and platitudes of love no longer “work” to soothe the weary heart.  We need to find a way to nourish Love – not being quick to correct and criticize, but eager to empathize and encourage – to hold the Heart open – as hard as that is.  We need to find Love’s Source and bathe in it to know the enduring kind of love that sustains – that understands the weariness, the witherings and tarnishings of love over time, embracing them.  It’s a hard kind of love that willingly leans into life when it doesn’t turn out as we planned, that willingly lets go of betrayals, and errors, and wounds; that willingly stands in the face of hatred - unmoved.  I am not good at this kind of love…   It’s the hard kind of love that no one tells you that you will need for the journey of Love.  It must be discovered, and rediscovered, as it calls us to open our hearts again and again and again – to Love…

Photo: a heart shaped stone
laid in an old weathered wound of a tree…

Do you see that incredible weathered face there?

Interlude...

To *be* Love is to be vulnerably open
to everything as it is;
to chose to stay open
to life as it is…
to open to this eternal Love
that holds
everything…

…which is totally scary
to this fledgling lover of Life
that I am…


Mystic Meandering
Journal Notes - Sunday

Life is the art of drawing without an eraser...
Erasing any of it would destroy the
total experience…

a friend…

Every experience in life is an invitation
to awaken into an Awareness
of the
essential nature of Reality -
and who we really are…

Metta Zetty

“…you have forgotten
again and again
where you come from,
where you are meant to return…

Return…

Drop the distractions
and head home.
The door is open

Go in…

Deeper and deeper
inward…

…take refuge there…

This is not a time
of sorrow,
but of gratitude…”


Mirabai Starr
excerpt from
Extravagant Stillness

A Heart Wish for the New Year...

May our hearts always be open
to hear
The Rhythm of Life’s Song.

May we see life through the eyes of wonder and curiosity…
May we dance with life intimately and creatively…
May we inspire each other to remember who we are in the core of our Being…
May we find contentment in just being who we are…
May we give voice to the song in our Hearts authentically…

And may we always
leave Love
in our wake…


~♥~


This amazing photo was captured after our neighbor’s daughter
pulled away from the curb in front of her house and made a turn in the street -
leaving behind these 2 hearts…

I just *happened* to look out our living room window
and saw them. I grabbed the camera and ran upstairs
to get a better shot – just before they evaporated into the air…


I am grateful for all the traces of love that you all have left here…

♥

Blessings of Love to you all in the New Year!

A Heart Opener...

These photos are so precious! We recently received them from an online friend, and I was so moved by them that I had to share them with you.

This is the short story that came with these pictures: Lily is a Great Dane that has been blind since a bizarre medical condition required that she have both eyes removed. For the last 5 years, Maddison, another Great Dane, has been her sight. The two are, of course, inseparable.

This was the caption at the bottom of the photos…

"People will forget what you said; People will forget what you did.
But people will never forget how you made them feel."

~~

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives
means the most to us, we often find that it is those who,
instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures,
have chosen rather to share our pain
and touch our wounds
with a gentle hand.

The friend who can be silent with us
in a moment of despair or confusion,
who can stay with us in an hour of grief & bereavement,
who can tolerate not knowing,
not curing,
not healing,
and face with us the reality of our powerlessness,
that is a friend who cares…”

Henri Nouwen

~

You might also like to view
this wonderful
Heart warming video
click here.

Simply Sad-ing...

There is a sense that “the path” is changing once again – opening up – carrying me like a river to “places” unknown. And I don’t mean physical places, but those internal places of Spirit/Soul/Being ~ Heart. I’ve had these feelings before. Maybe it’s just that melancholy feeling I get when Fall comes round again – although it is my favorite season. Or maybe it’s a culmination of things coming together – and “falling” apart – the normal cycles of time, season, life - allowing the things that need to die in me to die.

Whatever it is, there is a deep sadness that sings in my heart these days – reasons not necessary. It emerges, subsides and re-emerges – like the seasons. So I listen to its song. She is really the Heart’s whispers disguised in the language of “sadness.” She has been waiting for me to open this window and listen – without agenda - not needing to *define* it in any particular way – only listening and letting her sing her song in my heart - calling me "Home." She is simply another pathway *in* to the Heart of Being.

There is a rawness and vulnerability in being open to sadness that feels like I’m letting go of everything that is familiar, and heading out into the open sea. And maybe that is the gift of sadness – allowing myself to be open to life, penetrable by life, experiencing the rawness of life with its feelings – not trying to be strong, to find cause, to fix it, or cover it over… Instead, I let sadness take me where *it* needs to go on its way to the Heart - as a natural part of life’s unfolding…

This does not mean that I am always sad, or wallowing in sadness here. I’m just experiencing how she dances in and out of being. It’s simply sadness – a feeling. Or one could say – simply “sading” - a verb, not an identity. Feelings are just different colors, different shades of Life living Itself, dancing to different tunes.

What color are you dancing to today?

Art: Gray Swirls
Craypas Oil Sticks

The Open Path...

It may be that when we no longer
know what to do
we have come to our real work…

And when we no longer know
which way to go
we have come to our real journey…

Wendell Berry

~

We’re all just walking each other home.

Ram Dass

~

If you don’t write the things
deep inside your own heart
what’s the use of churning
out so many words…?

Ryokin

~

I believe in all that has never yet been spoken.
I want to free what waits within me,
so that what [I have not] dared …
may for once spring clear
without my contriving.

If this is arrogant, forgive me,
but this is what I need to say.
May what I do flow from me like a river,
no forcing and no holding back,
the way it is with children.

Then in these swelling and ebbing currents,
these deepening tides moving out, returning,
I will sing to you as no one ever has,
streaming through widening channels
into the open sea.

Rainer Maria Rilke
Rilke’s Book of Hours

On the Threshold...

Coming to the “end” of another cycle of time, another wrinkle in timelessness, I am feeling like I’m on the threshold – of what I don’t know – just that feeling of “something” intangible, unknowable, where everything stops for a moment in time – the still-point – before allowing “me” to move, to take the next step more deeply into the “Mystery” - however we all know that to be for ourselves…

This year has certainly provided many opportunities for looking more deeply into my heart and mind, and all the baggage that has been packed away there. And more opportunities to see the thread of Awareness that runs through them, that I must admit I did not always *see* - but instead got caught up in the waves and stories of life as they crashed through my nicely erected walls, trying to break through the veils of illusions that confined me.

There were many things that knocked on this door this year that were not welcome visitors, but ones which I had to let in anyway and offer them my time and attention as they each offered me an invitation to open to The Heart more and more. I can’t say I was successful in the least, but cracks opened in the walls allowing more light to get in. Isn’t that how the light gets in, through the cracks and crevices that life events tend to leave behind? Or so Leonard Cohen says.

Everyone in my family experienced life changing events this year - little cracks in their walls. It started with my brother nearly being killed in a skiing accident in February. Then just 2 and ½ weeks later in March, my sister broke her back as she jumped off her second story balcony to escape domestic violence. She is nearly fully recovered by the way, physically and emotionally, and is now living with my mother, hoping to find employment in January. My mother underwent two eye surgeries this year - leaving this strong willed woman dependent, requiring my presence nearly 24/7 until my sister moved in. These life events challenged me in ways I never expected physically, emotionally and spiritually. My old issues of being the rescuer, and feeling responsible for caretaking everything and everyone emerged for a look-see. Many freeing opportunities there.

And last, but not least, my husband’s consulting, web development, videography and video editing businesses were unable to keep us afloat and the ship sank leaving us bankrupt. Now that was a crack I could have done without. I thought those cracks were supposed to let light in, not water! But there it was, life as it is – sinking, cracks opening wider and wider – the light, or should I say, the waters gushing through the crevices. And all I could do was let go of all my ideas of how life was supposed to turn out. I’m still learning to live life as it is… This is a harder opening…

And then there were the softer openings that opened this heart to more Light: the “Window Sitting” and all the wonderful insights that came through the Window. Yeay! I can hardly wait for Spring to come so I can get back to the Window. And of course, “The Cave” for the winter months – where I am learning to meet the deeper, darker spaces, like fear, anger, and uncertainty. And where I’m also deepening into Silence, Stillness, the Light of Awareness, and the Heart of the Cosmos - some nights better than others at this point. And, best of all, getting to know new blogger friends sharing this Path – or no-path as the case may be – as we follow the Stream of Life, in whatever ways we do…

I am especially grateful for my blogger friends. You have inspired me with your blog posts and comments! Sanity in a sea of insanity. Reminders in moments of unconsciousness. Inspirations that lifted me and allowed me to *see.* Wonderful Heart Openers you all are, and I am so grateful for your Presence! I know many of you have also faced some really deep challenges this year as well, surfing the waves of life. I admire each of you for your courage and openness to the way things are, in the face of the unexpected directions life tends to take… You have been the invitation to open this heart to do the same.

And just a note on the picture here. :) I decided to post the picture of the mouse in the maze again (from the Freedom post) because it reminds me of the way life feels sometimes, like an endless maze. We try to find a way out, to find that one opening that will set us free and end our suffering. But sometimes instead of following the well-worn pathways that go nowhere, we have to lift our heads up and look over our self-created walls, and see that what we wanted (The Big Cheese, Enlightenment, The End of Suffering, Awareness, Love, Freedom, Life) is already right there, just waiting for us to notice – even if it doesn’t look the way we expected it to. I’m still learning this one!

Heart Hugs to you all!

~*~

A Heart Touching Invitation

Last week while watching TV (oops, should I be admitting this here? :) a phrase caught my attention: “Hold your heart open.” And I wondered, can I really do that? Can I hold my heart open in all situations that challenge me? I have to report that so far, not so good… And I thought, can “we” really hold our hearts open when we have felt betrayed by others, our bodies, or let down by life when it twists and turns in directions we don’t want to take. I don’t think any of us escapes these experiences. But holding the heart open *to* them seems to be the challenge.

Admittedly this has been hard for me to do, to remain open in the face of life’s hurts and challenges. It is not easy for me to love openheartedly (ooo another potentially dangerous admission…). I haven’t had much experience in that department, so usually I attempt to guard the heart from the inevitable hurts and sorrows that life brings; from the perceived disapprovals and dismissals in the silence of non-response; from the awkwardness that comes when you realize you’re not on the same page with someone that you’ve grown close to. “Awakening” has not resolved this. There’s still a guarded heart here. I seem to have forgotten that Love flows from the Heart of Being no matter what the circumstances, or obstacles of our lives. I have forgotten to remember that we are absolutely loved beyond measure no matter what our challenges. It seems that’s why we are here – to remember. The heart’s longing is to awaken to that Love – the Love that flows naturally from the Heart of Being – from Presence.

This Sunday the shell of the heart cracked open again, ever so slightly. It was touched by an unexpected moment when I pulled a book down off the shelf that I had read 10 years ago. It starts with a poem called “The Invitation.” I vaguely remembered the opening lines of the poem and so flipped to read it in its entirety. My heart began to open in the reading of it. The languaging didn’t matter. I just allowed my heart to be touched once again.

And so I want to share the poem for all of us who are challenged to stay open to life as it is, and life as it isn’t…

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for,

and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,

for your dream (passion), for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.

I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,

if you have been opened by life’s betrayals,

or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,

without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own,

if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you

to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful,

to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself;

if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul;

if you can be faithless* and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it’s not pretty,

every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,

and still stand on the edge of the lake and

shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or

how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up, after a night of grief and despair,

weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done…

It doesn’t interest me who you know, or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me

and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and

if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

From: The Invitation

By: Oriah Mountain Dreamer

~

I continue to ask myself, can I consciously hold my heart open? Can I stand in the fire with whatever life hands me? Can I allow and embrace it all?

I don’t know.

But I am willing to be cracked open again and again

until Love is all there is left,

until my heart dances in the fire…

Do I really have a choice…

It seems that *is* the deeper call…

* she explains in the book that by "faithless" she means "those who can bear the responsibility of breaking an agreement with someone, when the alternative is to betray themselves; to tell the truth even when the truth is hard."