"The Eclipse" - a meandering...

One of the things that the recent eclipse of the sun
reminded me of was the larger Cosmos, of which
we are all a part.  And the Cosmos is working!
The planets and moons and suns align, then move
apart in their perpetual orbits, doing what they
were "designed" to do.  The Universe works -
it's humans who can't seem to do that, to align,
to "get it together" as they are "designed" (?)
Or maybe I just have an idealized perception
of how a human being is supposed to be...

Anyway - it - the eclipse - reminded me that there's
a greater intelligence at work in the Universe, a
Deeper Reality beyond what we experience on
earth as humans.  So the earth, moon and sun
were aligned - briefly.  I have no idea really what
the significance of that is - just that it reminded me
of a Deeper Reality behind what we know as reality -
working in the Cosmos...

~

And so - "The Quest" - for me - is to discover, or
re-discover, the Deeper Reality of myself - my Essence
of Being in the Greater scheme of things...

I have forgotten how to BE what I am!
In a sense what "I" was designed for;
one could say my "Soul's" task - or
even my Being's purpose - if there is one...

Some call it the Self, but I get hung up on that word,
because the big "S" Self is not another self
hidden somewhere inside us that we have to "become."
But it's a discovery, a remembering, having a felt sense
of, the Deeper Reality of one's very Being - the Essence
of one's Being; our Natural State of Being, beyond
personality, beyond conditioning, beyond mind, beyond
religion, beyond "spirituality." 

Who are we really?

I thought I knew, but...

I haven't really met "Her" yet... ;)
Well, maybe on occasion...

Now if I could only remember to learn to see and approach
life from that Essence of my very Beingness...

Ahhhh - Peace...

Mystic Meandering
Oct. 14 & 15, 2023

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

 

Re-Discovery - Merton & Easwaran

At the deepest level communication
is not communication but communion.
It is wordless, it is beyond words, and
it is beyond concept.

What we have to recover [re-discover] is
our original unity [within].

What we have to be is what we are...

Thomas Merton
from a speech he gave just before he died.

with thanks to Heron Dance

~

Everything we have ever achieved we owe to the inexplicable
urge to reach beyond our grasp, [and] know the Unknown.
This urge is part of our evolutionary heritage, given to us for
the ultimate adventure: to discover who we are, what the
universe is, and what is the significance of the brief drama
of life and death we play out against the backdrop of
eternity.

Nothing can satisfy us but reunion with our real Self...

Eknath Easwaran

From the Introduction to The Unpanishads

~

Photo - Mystic Meandering

"Cosmic Blanket" :)

 

Creating Enmity - J. Krishnamurti

Surely that thing which you fight you become.  If I am angry
and you meet me with anger what is the result?  More anger.
You have become that which I am.  If I am evil and you fight
me with evil means then you also become evil, however
righteous you may feel.  If I am brutal and you use brutal
methods to overcome me, then you become brutal like me.
And this we have done for thousands of years.  Surely there
is a different approach than to meet hate by hate.  If I use
violent methods to quell anger in myself then I am using
wrong means for a right end, and thereby the right end
ceases to be.  In this there is no understanding.  Anger is
to be understood; it is not to be overcome through violent
means.  Anger may be the result of many causes and
without comprehending them there is no escape from anger.

We have created the enemy, and becoming ourselves the enemy
in no way brings about an end to enmity.  We have to understand
the cause of our enmity and cease to feed it by our thought,
feeling, and action.  This is an arduous task demanding constant
self-awareness [and Self awareness] and intelligent pliability,
for what we are society is...  The enemy and the friend are
the outcome of our thought and action.  We are responsible for
creating enmity and so it is more important to be aware of our
own thought and action than to be concerned with the foe and
the friend, for right thinking puts an end to division.
Love transcends the friend and the enemy.

J. Krishnamurti
from: The Book of Life

via - The Beauty We Love

Free to Be

I am free to be...

Free to Be - just as i am...

I/i am Beingness being...
Consciousness awareing...
Self expressing ItSelf;
or whatever word you give
The Mystery...

"I" - dressed up as "me" - "me" as "I" - i/I
Formless as form,
Form as formless...

Opening to The Mystery
we are free to be our unique selves,
just as we are...

When we know this
"something" wakes up inside -
and hums...

Everything is OM -
the hum of Life - humming -
playing in the play of Life
as i/I ~

with a multitude of other expressions of i/I
all playing in the sandbox of Life...

When we let go of the words
and the frameworks of belief and interpretations
we are free just to Be
~ as we are ~
letting go of the concepts of

i/I, I/me and "no-me"
we are
just Life - being lived
as we are.

There is something authentic
in allowing myself to be

as i/I am...

Life is met from a different space ~

the space of acceptance for all...

Play well!

Ommmmmmm

_/\_

Mystic Meandering

Meditative Writings
2011

~

Photo from a T-shirt

Silence Beyond Mind - Maitreya Upanishad

When a wise man has withdrawn his mind from all things without,
and when his spirit has peacefully left all inner sensations,
let him rest in peace, free from the movement of will and desire...

For it has been said:
There is something beyond our mind,
which abides in silence within our mind.
It is the supreme mystery beyond thought.
Let one's mind and subtle spirit rest upon that
and nothing else.

....When the mind is silent,
beyond distraction,
then it can enter into a world
which is far beyond the mind...

Then one knows the joy of Eternity...
Words cannot describe the joy of the soul
who is one with the Atman, his own Self.

Only those who experience the joy know what that is...

As water becomes one with water,
fire with fire,
and air with air.
so the mind becomes one with the infinite Mind
and thus attains freedom.

Maitreya Upanishad

Via - The Beauty We Love

The True Teacher - Francisco Albanez & Nisargadatta

Each day I long so much to see
The true teacher.  And each time
At dusk when I open the cabin
Door and empty the teapot,
I think I know where he is:

West of us in the forest.

Or perhaps I am the one
Who is out in the night,
The forest sand wet under
my feet, moonlight shining
On the sides of the birch trees,
The sea far off gleaming.

And he is the one who is
At home.  He sits in my chair
Calmly; he reads and prays
All night.  He loves to feel
His own body around him;

He does not leave the house.

Francisco Albanez
Original title: "The One Who is at Home"
translation by Robert Bly

~

Confide in your inner Self.
The greatest Guru is your inner Self.
Truly, he is the supreme teacher.
He alone can take you to your goal
and he alone meets you at the end of the road.
Confide in him and you need no outer Guru.

Nisargadatta

"The Chair..."

Relaxing deeply back, back,
sinking into "the chair."
It feels familiar - this chair.
It welcomes me "home"
to my Self...

Opening itself to me,
allowing me to slip deeply into
The Beloved's Silence...

I've been holding stress in the body.
"The Chair" allows it to let go,
and supports the body in the release,
like no one else can - no other person,
with their practical prescriptions,
or "fixes" propagated by the mind without
the compassion and empathy of the Heart;
who cannot respond from the Heart,
but only with empty words.
Hollow advice grasping for an "answer."
They cannot hear the cry of the Heart
that only needs to be heard and held...

It's only "The Chair"
that doesn't care who I am,
or what I know, or don't know,
or what words I use;
or how "evolved" I am;
if I am "enlightened" or "liberated";
if I shine or if I'm dark;
whether I'm Advaitan, Buddhist, Christian,
Hindu, Jew, Muslim, Sufi
or any religion, philosophy, or belief.
Only Being - just being,
without structure, concept, or label...
Only Self, sufficient in ItSelf

in "The Chair"...

It's only "The Chair"...
open, supportive, holding me in
whatever space I am in,
not trying to feed me an
intellectual "answer"
or correct my perceptions...

When I sit in this chair
I feel the tangible Presence
 of The Beloved within;
the warmth, the tingling of
the Divine Prsence
in the body
returning,
though never gone.

I feel the "connection"
with The Beloved in the body again,
though never "disconnected",
only the feeling momentarily lost.

The whole body begins to let go.
An involuntary breath deeply breathes me,
as my head gently collapses
against the back of "the chair"...

My Heart rests - soothed in "The Chair",
like a soft lap,
and finally opens like a lit orchid in a dark forest;
grieving for lost love, never really lost...

My whole body and being are fully supported
in "The Chair";
deeply at rest in the body,
in "The Chair";
fully embraced by my soft Friend -
"The Chair"

- who knew...

Mystic Meandering
July 4, 2017

~

"The Chair" is not only a literal chair that I refer to
but also becomes a metaphor for resting in
"The Beloved" - the True Friend.

_/\_

An Empty Room - Mooji

There is an empty room,
come fully inside,
There are no stories here.
There is no past or future here.
No relatives.
No names, no forms, time, no self.
Don't be in your head now.
Listen from another place;
a holy place deep inside your being.

There is a room without walls.  No door.
Nothing lives here.
It is not dead space.
It's your true place and Being.
The mind will try to say something like:
"You cannot stay here," or

"There is nothing here for you,"

but this voice is also phenomenon,
while You are not.

Therefore, touch nothing.
Pay attention only to you unmixed self now,
not the personal sense of self.
Personality is only a garment worn by the Self
for a duration called a lifetime.
The body is also just a garment worn for the time being.
Rare is a human being who comes to this place
which cannot be divided;

that cannot die,
where there are no beginning or ends.

It is the most pure - immaculate.
From here ego and world arise as fleeting images,
but the Real does not arise.
It permeates all, yet nothing permeates it.

Leave everything.
Be here.

Mooji

The Sacred Self - Bhagavad Gita

Creatures rise, creatures vanish;
I alone am real, Arjuna,
looking out, amused, from deep
within the eyes of every creature.

I am the object of all knowledge,
father of the world, its mother.
Source of all things, of impure and
Pure, of holiness and horror.

I am the goal, the root, the witness,
home and refuge, dearest friend,
creation and annihilation,
everlasting seed and treasure.

I am immortality and
death, am being and non-being.

I am the Self, Arjuna, seated
in the heart of every creature.
I am the origin, the middle,
and the end of that all must come to.

All your thoughts, all your actions,
all your fears and disappointments,
offer them to me, clear-hearted;
know them all as passing visions.

I am always with all beings;
I abandon no one.  And
however great your inner darkness,
you are never separate from me.

Let your thoughts flow past you, calmly:

keep near me, at every moment.
Trust me with your life, because I
am you, more than you yourself are.

Bhagavad Gita

~*~

This is Krishna talking to Arjuna according
 to the Hindu tradition.  In Hinduism Krishna
represents the Origin of the Universe,
the Unmanifest, the Eternal Being that is present
throughout all creation, looking out from deep within
the eyes of every being...

The Unknown Self - John O'Donohue...

“So much of what delights and troubles you
happens on the surface
you take for ground.

Your mind thinks your life alone,
your eyes consider air your nearest neighbor.
Yet it seems that a little below
 the heart
there houses
 in you an unknown self
who prefers the patterns of the dark,
and is not persuaded by the eye’s affection,
or caught by the flash of thought.

[This “unknown self”]

enjoys contemplative patience
with
all
 your
 unfolding
 expression…

is never drawn to break into light
though you tangle yourself in unworthiness
and misjudge
what you do
  and who you are.

It presides within like an evening freedom
that will often see you enchanted by twilight
without ever recognizing the falling night.

It resembles the under-earth of your visible life:
All you do and say and think is fostered
deep in its opaque and prevenient clay.

It dwells in a strange, yet rhythmic ease
that is not ruffled by disappointment:
it presides in
 a

 deeper

 current
 of time

Free from the force of cause and sequence
that otherwise shapes your life.

Were it to break forth into day,
its dark light might quench your mind,
for

 it

 knows
 how
your
prrimeval
 heart
sisters
 every
 cell
 of
 your
 life
to all your known mind would avoid.

Thus it knows to dwell in you gently,
offering you only discrete glimpses
of how you contruct your life.

At times, it will lead you strangely,
magnetized by some resonance
that ambushes your vigilance.

It works most resolutely at night
as the poet who draws your dreams,
creating for you many secret doors,
decorated with pictures of your hunger.

It has the dignity of the angelic
that
 knows
 you
 to
 your
 roots,
always awaiting your deeper befriending
to
 take
 you
 beyond
 the
 threshold
 of want,
where all your diverse strainings
can come to wholesome ease…”

© John O’Donohue

“For The Unknown Self”

From: Bless the Space Between Us

Via: The Sacred Alter:The Art of Transformation

Check out her unique artistic expression!

~

~

Note:
I took the liberty of reconstructing the format for emphasis…
The brackets on the line [This “unknown self’] indicate my
paraphrase of the original line… “It is a self that”….

 What O’Donohue speaks of as “an unknown self”
 I understand as our True Self, or Divine Nature,
not a separate self residing within;
but of course that is my interpretation. J

I also find it interesting that he gives “it” a location in the body
”a little below the heart.” ?
Would love to have been able to ask him about this…
 

In any case, the poem spoke to me
and wanted to post it. J
Hope you enjoy it too…

~

~

~

Photo:

A ribbed glass container
catching the mid morning light…

The Pathless Path...

I find the older I get the more I want to experience Truth directly, and leave the many trodden “spiritual paths” that I’ve been on all my life behind – gasp. Even as a child I wanted to *know* “God” – a child’s understanding of God. Then my search evolved and expanded to include finding “myself” – whoever that was :), then Truth, Wisdom, peace of mind, and last, but not least, the search for “Enlightenment.” They are all the same “path” under different disguises. And now, through all these many paths, I am feeling the need to settle in, deepen, and re-discover a sense of inner Truth for myself; not by following a particular external path – but by intuitively listening to the voice of Life in my Heart; observing this inner Life directly, by spending time in Silence (which I avoid so easily). Now if Life would only cooperate and give me the right environment. :) (Just kidding:).

Being on a “spiritual path” implies that one is going somewhere, seeking “Some-thing” at the end of the journey – like retirement after a life of working; or the magical pot of gold at the end of the mythical rainbow; or even the mystical “Holy Grail.” Or maybe one is even seeking an *end* to something, like suffering, pain, ignorance, their humanness, or the end of seeking. But what if there was no need for “a path”, no need for seeking the illusive big “Some-thing” that spiritual seekers are seeking? I find myself in this place of questioning – again… I have been down the "seeking road" – many times…

The path of “Enlightenment”/”Awakening”/”Self-Realization”, particularly the path of what is popularly known as “Non-Duality”, has lost its luster, its pull, its certainty for me – much like the other paths I have taken throughout my life. It’s just another construct. I found out that the Emperor has no clothes! And I’d rather not describe Truth by a negative – with no-me, no-self, no other, no-world - as Truth is all inclusive – including duality, me, self, other, and the world.

Even if one follows “a path” (which can be any path) there is no guarantee that we will discover what we are looking for, and life will not suddenly become easy or flowing with bliss. We won’t necessarily lose our personality with its quirks, our conditioning, or our neuroses. Our thoughts will not stop, neither will our surface struggles, or our pain, or our stories. Walking “a path” doesn’t even guarantee that we will actually *see* life differently from either the mountain top, or with nose to the ground; or suddenly find our “purpose” – as if there’s only one. But no one tells us this about “the path.” It has to be a Self-discovery - for ourselves – even if we have a “Teacher” or use a “Teaching” to point the way…

Years of seeking, realization, recognition, and then forgetting, and then remembering, and then forgetting again – brought me to the realization that discovering (or rediscovering) this Being-Self/Truth that we are, is through awareness of and deep intimacy with the Silence within; through continually coming back to the Heart of Awareness – the space of Silent, Still, innate Wisdom – which of course is wherever we are at the moment, not off in the distance somewhere. It’s not a place. “The path” doesn’t *go* anywhere. There is no reward at the end. It’s an inner pathless path… And that’s my “path” at the moment :) - rediscovering this inner Silent, Aware Wisdom for myself. It’s an inner pathless path of remembering; remembering the underlying Rhythm of Life ItSelf – humming through… Ommmmmmm…..

“A mystic is content with nothing less than
to touch the Truth in its most universal purity.”

Ivan Granger
Poetry Chaikhana

~

“Wanderer, your footsteps are the road,
and nothing more;
Wanderer, there is no road.
The road is made by walking…

By walking one makes the road,
and upon glancing behind
one sees the path that will
never be trod again…

Wanderer, there is no road –
only wakes upon the sea…”

Antonio Machado

~

“Empty yourself of everything.
Let the mind rest in peace.
The ten thousand things rise and fall
while the Self watches their return.
They grow and flourish and then
return to the source.
Returning to the source is stillness,
which is the way of nature….”

“Returning is the motion of the Tao.”

Lao Tzu

~~

Photo – taken by my father
1952/53

Tell me who "I" am...

“In the secret recesses of the heart
beyond the teachings of this world
calls a still, small voice
singing a song unchanged
from the foundation of the world.

Speak to me in sunsets and in starlight.
Speak to me in the eyes of a child.
You Who call to me from a smile.
My cosmic beloved…

Tell me who I am
And who I always will be.
Help me to remember.”

Joan Borysenko


~


Self is what you are

Fathomless

Self is the Heart

It shines to ItSelf by ItSelf
in ItSelf…

Self is what gives breath to life…

Only Self is…

Self is the indwelling of all beings

It is always here

And you are always That

It is your Heart

…all comes back to the Heart…

Papaji

Excerpts from:
The Truth Is


~*~

The Pull of Consciousness Window

For the last month I have been experiencing a huge pull from within; an intense version of the “Inside-Out” experience that I referred to in the “Inside-Out” post. It is what a friend called “the pull of Consciousness.” I have described it in my journal as a “pull to Freedom.” It’s as if Consciousness ItSelf pulls ‘self’ into ItSelf, essentially reclaiming Itself. Consequently there is a sense of collapse of the ‘outer’ into the Inner, or the outer dissolving *in* the Inner.

This “outer” expression – self - is losing its sense of separateness from the “Inner” and seems to be collapsing *into* that which doesn’t have a name: into Unknowable Beingness - into the Mystery - into the NO-thing-ness - into Existence prior to expression; sinking into the space of Awareness – dissolving – falling into Freedom, the recognition of the Freedom of Awareness. Well almost. :) It feels a little like alchemy. There’s a process going on here – a process of recognition, of Seeing how things really are: That it is not that *I* am ‘That’, but that *That* is all there is! – undisturbed Aware Consciousness… Whew, what a ride!

Although this may all *sound* wonderfully blissful, this “pull of Consciousness” vortex actually feels like a death – a death that is also a birthing. There is a *deep* sense of surrender – of succumbing actually - to this inner pull of Awareness; not necessarily to the “present moment”, or to “life as it is”, but to the Tao – the Flow – the movement of Aware Consciousness within, and how *It* wants to Flow. There is a willingness here to move with this pull of Consciousness on a day-to-day, moment-to-moment basis; a willingness to not be able to see where I’m going or how I’m getting there; to not seek relief – but to just be with this experience and allow it to go where it does until it pulls ‘me’ (Itself) all the way through...

And it’s not so much the death of ‘self’ (me) as it is death of the *perception* of self – a dissolving of orientation, of thought patterns, of identities, of attachments. It’s a “surrender” - a “succumbing” - of all that was held in this system of separation before. It is not “awakening,” it is a dying into Reality.

This “death” is like the famous metaphor of the wave sinking back into the Ocean - finding The Rhythm again, finding the calm resonance within the Rhythm of the Ocean of Awareness – Home. The wave cannot move *except* for the Rhythm of the Ocean within. So I follow the pull into quiet Awareness – most of the time :).

For brief moments, here and there, there is a dissolving of perceptions, where I recognize that I am not the body-mind. But patterns of the body-mind, of the “me,” are still working themselves through. They are rising to the surface. And there is a tendency to want to suppress them. But the need to be swallowed up by Awareness – to fall into Freedom is greater – most of the time :).

Abandoning the *idea* of a separate ‘self’, the scaffolding of the ‘self’, for THIS, this spacious Awareness that dances *through* conceptual reality is Freedom. Yet, there is not the *sense* of being freed *from* anything. There is only the recognition, however brief at the moment, that the pull of Consciousness is a pull to Freedom – inner Freedom. It is recognizing that Awareness is Freedom; that Consciousness aware of ItSelf is Freedom.

~*~

“…pure Consciousness will pull you back. It is not that you will enter it… but when It pulls you It has made the choice to pull you Home…..This is Home, the holy company of the Self. The most holy association is to be as you are [the Self] – this is Freedom.” Papaji

~*~


FunQi Art™ - Christine

I can’t take full credit for this art looking like it does.
The original is a beautiful shade of blue,
(which I will post on the next blog post). When I took the picture,
with a light shining on the picture and the flash of the camera,
this is the way it came out! Almost ethereal… Amazing…
I was awestruck. My husband explained the science of it:
The picture is only a mirror of the light that shines on it.
It can only reflect the light that comes to it…
Hmmmmm….

Abandon Everything Window

Abandon everything for ‘This’

Abandon
all ideas, thoughts, opinions,
concepts, stories,
judgments, resistances,
relationships…

You are not obligated to anyone, or any thing…

Abandon every thing for ‘This’ –
for the truth of ‘This’…

Abandon everything for intimacy with ‘This’:
That which is Aware…
That which is Awareness ItSelf…
That which just Is – just ‘This’…

Abandon everything and just be ‘This’ -
’This’ that is your True Nature…

Abandon the concepts of ‘self’ for ‘This’ -

Abandon all false ideas and strategies -
all attachments of the ‘self’…

Abandon self-imposed constraints
of the ‘self’ – of living from the ‘self.’

Abandon reliance on ‘self’ –
the construct of ‘self.’

Abandon the sense of ‘self’
and open to the Vastness of the pure Awareness of
just ‘This’…

Everything that exists, exists within the Vastness
of ‘This’

Succumb to ‘This’ –
the pure Awareness awareing…

Everything is held in ‘This’ -

Just ‘This’…

Live with abandon to ‘This’

~*~


Mystic Meandering
copyright
Oct. 11, 2010

Come to Sit...

Come

to

sit,

to remember

the Silence within;

the vast Emptiness,

that is still and aware ~

just Be-ing…

Come

to

sit,

amongst the clutter of the mind,

between the chaos and confusion

on the waters of life,

amidst the disturbances in the flow

that are hard to navigate…

Come

to

sit,

in Stillness.

In the respite

that connects us to all that is true

in this life experience

and the vast Spaciousness

that is beyond

the disturbances of the mind;

the malfunctions of this body;

and the less than benevolent

intentions of others…

Come

to

sit,

emptied out in the space of

awake, aware Emptiness.

Remembering…

Recognizing the Self ~ again.

Receding into the Great Unknown,

like a wave back into the Ocean,

feeling the fullness of the Embrace…

Come,

Sit…

~*~

Mystic Meandering
copyright

May 30, 2010

photo – my May calendar page

The Face of the 'Self'

What is this “I” – this *sense* of me,

that rises up with thought and emotion?

What is this “I” – this *sense* of me,

that engages in the surface chaos,

with the suffering, and gets entangled?

What is this”I” – this *sense* of me

that will not rest…

What is this “I” – this *sense* of me

that resists recognizing its own

Beingness, its Presence,

its own reflection…

When will this “I” – this sense of me

no longer arise as a separate sense of me,

imagined to be real…

Thought comes back in and

creates the idea of this sense of me…

Contraction occurs.

And a sense of “me” emerges…

What is this “I” – this sense of “me”?

It is Consciousness itSelf…

It is Being itSelf...

manifested as the “me,”

playing *as* the “me.”

”I” (me) is also IT (Consciousness)

having a thought, a dream

that is called “me.”

Being/Consciousness *appears* as “me”

being “me”

being itSelf…

The “self” is the face of the ‘Self ‘-

interfacing with life…

We *are* the ‘Self’ being the “self” –

simultaneously itSelf…

Like the Ocean rising up

and curling back on itSelf - seeing itSelf.

We are ripples of the water of Existence.

We are Existence itSelf.

*Knowing* this is ~ Sweet Serenity…

excerpts from my journals

2008-2010

photo – Christine

Can you see the shadow faces?!