Grief is not something we "get over" by following pre-prescribed
stages, but a partner that we dance, play, honor, argue and weep
with as the cycles unfold. It's appearance and the ways it longs
to be tended are unique for each psyche, heart, and nervous
system.
The timeline for this voyage is not knowable by the psychiatric
community, nor by insurance panels, or teachers of spirituality,
but is birthed in the heavens. To rush, force, or pathologize
the experience of grief is to work against nature.
The grieving process [for all forms of loss] may not have an
endpoint or state of completion in which we come to some final
resolution, where we "finish" and land in some untouchable [more
spiritual] place, free from our embodied vulnerability, somatic
aliveness, and from falling apart and breaking open yet again.
While some may hold this fantasied end state as a goal which
comes about as we "master" [or "spiritualize"] life, the heart is
not interested in mastery. But in entering the mystery in more
subtle and sensitive ways.
The heart itself is endless, and the visitors of grief may companion
us in their various forms for a lifetime. Not come to harm, but
to reveal a portal into depth. Shifting shapes, circulating, and
rotating, as they open and close passageways in the landscape of
the soul.
Grief is not so much a process that we "make it through", but a non-
linear unfolding, shepherd and emissary of the unknown. It moves
not by way of straight line, but by that of circle and spiral.
~
It is not an error
that you have been born
a sensitive human being,
with a tender nervous system
and a heart that is sometimes
broken.
The tenderness there,
the shakiness, the grief...
not an error
to be remedied
or cured...
[or spiritually bypassed]
But a doorway to Essence,
a portal to Life.
