"The Situation"

No, I’m not talking about “Jersey Shore” here.  And some of you probably don’t even know what that is.  I barely do.  Evidently it is a controversial TV program about a group of twenty-somethings gone wild in New Jersey.  The people playing the parts actually have real names like “Snooki” and “The Situation.”  Thus this title, and story here.

We have a “situation” next door that I have no idea how to handle.  Our neighbor’s son has entered puberty and there has been a spiraling increase in wildness.  Some say he’s just being a teen - but it is creating a “situation.”  Did I already say that?  You see I’m beginning to get absorbed by “the situation.”  My life is being disrupted on a regular basis by “the situation”, which is a 13 year old and a single parent who evidently doesn’t think there *is* a “situation.”

About a year ago the then tween decided he wanted to be Daniel Boone and his mother (ex-wife of single parent next door) decided to buy him a bow and arrow.  He, unbeknownst to us, but with his father’s knowledge, had target practice in his back yard – aimed at our fence – which means he was aiming into our backyard.  Well, of course, Daniel Boone he is not, so one errant arrow flew over the fence, *across* our yard, and into the neighbor’s fence on the other side - who has two toddlers.  Some of you may remember that post – here.  When I discovered the arrow I was pretty sure where it had come from, but waited to see if the owner would come a knocking to claim it…  Nope.  Several days later an opportunity presented itself for a conversation with his dad.  I waited for him to broach the subject – nada. So I asked him if he would happen to know anything about the arrow in the fence. “Why yes I would” he said – and proceeded to give me the story of the bow and arrow.  But – no apology – like gee, I’m sorry, my son could have killed you…    Says a lot about a man’s character, don’t you think…

Wellllll – then tween turned into teen last Summer and was given a Pellet Rifle – evidently for “target practice” - but the targets are rabbits and squirrels.  Daddy evidently said it was okay to shoot rabbits and squirrels – for fun. We found three dead in our yard last year – one on the patio and one rotting with maggots under a bush; which of course means he was shooting in our direction.  Hubby had a talk with Daddy and Daddy evidently thinks killing innocent animals for fun is “sport” – does not see them as living beings to be respected.  I actually saw him shoot a rabbit from out his back door.  I think he heard me gasp and pulled the rifle back in.  I have checked with the police and *if* the rifle is a certain caliber it is considered a “firearm” which is illegal to have in the city where we live.  I have no idea what caliber it is.  And even if I knew, and reported it, they would know it was me who reported them – and then what – fear or retribution.  I told you I was getting absorbed by the story :)  I’m a character playing out a role in this ridiculous, attention consuming, anxiety provoking story that I had no intention of getting into – at least consciously.

Interestingly, a paper target that they sometimes actually use for practice, flew into our back yard with the wind and landed on the patio a few weeks ago.  Divine intervention or what?!  I am thinking of taking it to the police station to see if they can determine by the size of the hole that if left in the paper what caliber it is.  But still – there’s that sticky “situation” of actually filing a complaint and having the sheriff show up at their house and take the gun away.  The kid is a very angry teen and already dislikes me, because I watch him, from the window when I’m working at my desk.  Now he watches to see if I’m sitting there watching him.  I figure it’s a good deterrent if he thinks I might be watching.  But, I also think it has only created animosity and sneakiness.  In other words, I think I’ve already blown it.  I was never a parent, so I have no clue about “handling” teens – especially angry ones.

Last Fall we discovered he liked setting fires with an acetylene torch – evidently with his father’s knowledge – or so I was told, rather surly.  I watched one day as he and a friend set fire to dead pine needles *under* a pine tree, and various other dead objects of nature around his yard.  They enjoyed it way too much – laughing and dancing into a frenzy.  Pyromaniac came to mind.  Finally I opened the window and said something when they were lighting dead tall grass on fire at the corner of their garage, and not 5 feet from a huge 50 foot spruce tree that overhangs the corner of our property!  I was told, as if I was beneath him, that his father was aware that they were doing it, and they were “handling it.”  Being reactive, head sticking out second floor window, I replied that if I had to call the fire department there would be a big problem.   I got the basic ignore from an angry teen with a weapon of mass destruction who is learning to kill for fun.  And we wonder why there is no peace on the planet.   

I hope this is not too much story, or that you are expecting some wondrous “spiritual” insight to come at the end :)  Walking a “spiritual path” does not make us immune to “the human story.”  It’s all story – even “the spiritual path.”  If anything this story points out how, in general, we don’t realize the impact our actions have on each other – the ripple effect.

Oh and one more part of the story. :)  Yesterday we were eating dinner and suddenly we saw the kid jumping back and forth from the top of his tool shed onto the top of our tool shed – over the 6 foot fence, and probably 6 feet of space between the two, while dear daddy is lying in the hammock hidden behind the fence.  They were evidently playing Pirates of the Caribbean, as he was brandishing a sword – the father that is!  Hopefully a play one, but who knows.  I opened the window to say something – but he heard the noise of the window and jumped off the roof to hide – behind the fence.  But I went to my tower window, of course, and saw him hiding there, and then he saw me watching him.   Awkward…

I am at a loss about “the situation.”  I have no rapport with this kid.   He hasn’t been able to make eye contact with me since they moved in 6-7 years ago.  And I have probably made an enemy in the last year playing the grumpy old lady next door, watching from her tower.  Not a good thing with a kid with a gun and a torch.  Even so, I feel the need to be watchful.  It is apparent to me that “the situation” – as it is – requires vigilance and appropriate action. And speaking to the father?  Well – we tried that with the arrow and squirrel incident. Like father like son, as they say… 

S0 - I am waiting for the “right way” to reveal itself – for the “right” opportunity and timing…  I know he will continue to challenge us, to test the boundaries to see how far he can go and how much he can get away with.  And it’s only just beginning!

If anyone has any suggestions on how to handle “the situation”, or can offer a little perspective here, I’m open to hearing it! :)

Photo
That is not fire coming out his
ear and butt,
although I wonder…
It’s something red on the ground :)
And he does not have tattoos.
Those spots showed up when
I digitally altered the photo…