No, I’m
not talking about “Jersey
Shore” here. And some of you probably don’t even know what
that is. I barely do. Evidently it is a controversial TV program
about a group of twenty-somethings gone wild in New Jersey.
The people playing the parts actually have real names like “Snooki” and
“The Situation.” Thus this title, and
story here.
We have a
“situation” next door that I have no idea how to handle. Our neighbor’s son has entered puberty and
there has been a spiraling increase in wildness. Some say he’s just being a teen - but it is
creating a “situation.” Did I already
say that? You see I’m beginning to get
absorbed by “the situation.” My life is
being disrupted on a regular basis by “the situation”, which is a 13 year old
and a single parent who evidently doesn’t think there *is* a “situation.”
About a
year ago the then tween decided he wanted to be Daniel Boone and his mother
(ex-wife of single parent next door) decided to buy him a bow and arrow. He, unbeknownst to us, but with his father’s
knowledge, had target practice in his back yard – aimed at our fence – which
means he was aiming into our backyard.
Well, of course, Daniel Boone he is not, so one errant arrow flew over the
fence, *across* our yard, and into the neighbor’s fence on the other side - who
has two toddlers. Some of you may
remember that post – here. When I
discovered the arrow I was pretty sure where it had come from, but waited to
see if the owner would come a knocking to claim it… Nope. Several
days later an opportunity presented itself for a conversation with his dad. I waited for him to broach the subject –
nada. So I asked him if he would happen to know anything about the arrow in the
fence. “Why yes I would” he said – and proceeded to give me the story of the
bow and arrow. But – no apology – like
gee, I’m sorry, my son could have killed you…
Says a lot about a man’s character, don’t you think…
Wellllll
– then tween turned into teen last Summer and was given a Pellet Rifle –
evidently for “target practice” - but the targets are rabbits and
squirrels. Daddy evidently said it was
okay to shoot rabbits and squirrels – for fun. We found three dead in our yard
last year – one on the patio and one rotting with maggots under a bush; which
of course means he was shooting in our direction. Hubby had a talk with Daddy and Daddy
evidently thinks killing innocent animals for fun is “sport” – does not see
them as living beings to be respected. I
actually saw him shoot a rabbit from out his back door. I think he heard me gasp and pulled the rifle
back in. I have checked with the police
and *if* the rifle is a certain caliber it is considered a “firearm” which is
illegal to have in the city where we live.
I have no idea what caliber it is.
And even if I knew, and reported it, they would know it was me who
reported them – and then what – fear or retribution. I told you I was getting absorbed by the
story :) I’m a character playing out a
role in this ridiculous, attention consuming, anxiety provoking story that I
had no intention of getting into – at least consciously.
Interestingly,
a paper target that they sometimes actually use for practice, flew into our
back yard with the wind and landed on the patio a few weeks ago. Divine intervention or what?! I am thinking of taking it to the police
station to see if they can determine by the size of the hole that if left in
the paper what caliber it is. But still
– there’s that sticky “situation” of actually filing a complaint and having the
sheriff show up at their house and take the gun away. The kid is a very angry teen and already
dislikes me, because I watch him, from the window when I’m working at my desk. Now he watches to see if I’m sitting there
watching him. I figure it’s a good
deterrent if he thinks I might be watching.
But, I also think it has only created animosity and sneakiness. In other words, I think I’ve already blown
it. I was never a parent, so I have no
clue about “handling” teens – especially angry ones.
Last Fall
we discovered he liked setting fires with an acetylene torch – evidently with
his father’s knowledge – or so I was told, rather surly. I watched one day as he and a friend set fire
to dead pine needles *under* a pine tree, and various other dead objects of
nature around his yard. They enjoyed it
way too much – laughing and dancing into a frenzy. Pyromaniac came to mind. Finally I opened the window and said something
when they were lighting dead tall grass on fire at the corner of their garage,
and not 5 feet from a huge 50 foot spruce tree that overhangs the corner of our
property! I was told, as if I was
beneath him, that his father was aware that they were doing it, and they
were “handling it.” Being reactive, head
sticking out second floor window, I replied that if I had to call the fire
department there would be a big problem.
I got the basic ignore from an angry teen with a weapon of mass
destruction who is learning to kill for fun.
And we wonder why there is no peace on the planet.
I hope
this is not too much story, or that you are expecting some wondrous “spiritual”
insight to come at the end :) Walking a
“spiritual path” does not make us immune to “the human story.” It’s all story – even “the spiritual path.” If anything this story points out how, in
general, we don’t realize the impact our actions have on each other – the
ripple effect.
Oh and
one more part of the story. :) Yesterday
we were eating dinner and suddenly we saw the kid jumping back and forth from
the top of his tool shed onto the top of our tool shed – over the 6 foot fence,
and probably 6 feet of space between the two, while dear daddy is lying in the
hammock hidden behind the fence. They
were evidently playing Pirates of the Caribbean,
as he was brandishing a sword – the father that is! Hopefully a play one, but who knows. I opened the window to say something – but he
heard the noise of the window and jumped off the roof to hide – behind the
fence. But I went to my tower window, of
course, and saw him hiding there, and then he saw me watching him. Awkward…
I am at a
loss about “the situation.” I have no
rapport with this kid. He hasn’t been
able to make eye contact with me since they moved in 6-7 years ago. And I have probably made an enemy in the last
year playing the grumpy old lady next door, watching from her tower. Not a good thing with a kid with a gun and a
torch. Even so, I feel the need to be
watchful. It is apparent to me that “the
situation” – as it is – requires vigilance and appropriate action. And speaking
to the father? Well – we tried that with
the arrow and squirrel incident. Like father like son, as they say…
S0 - I am
waiting for the “right way” to reveal itself – for the “right” opportunity and
timing… I know he will continue to
challenge us, to test the boundaries to see how far he can go and how much he
can get away with. And it’s only just
beginning!
If anyone
has any suggestions on how to handle “the situation”, or can offer a little
perspective here, I’m open to hearing it! :)
Photo
That is not fire coming out his
ear and butt,
although I wonder…
It’s something red on the ground :)
And he does not have tattoos.
Those spots showed up when
I digitally altered the photo…
